| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:03:02 PM | I was thinking to myself the other day of all the "hard" lessons I've had to learn since I've become single - and its been a lot unfortunately.
I was married for nearly 20 years (straight out of high school) so I never really dated until I separated and later divorced a few yrs ago. Married my very first boyfriend -- so everything I've learned has come later in life. Stuff that most people knew from dating in their early teens and 20's I was just learning in my late 30's and 40's! I felt really stupid for a while, got pretty badly hurt and banged up in my dating life.
I guess people that have spent most of their lives single can't relate to what I'm saying. When I read on these forums the hateful comments about how a woman shouldn't have "put out" done this or done that with a guy I feel bad for the person. I don't think anyone deserves to be manipulated, ignored, dismissed just because the other person thinks they don't owe him/her anything! Whatever happened to human decency and treating people they way you would wish to be treated?!!
But anway -- but back to the original question: What lessons have you learned from online dating or dating in general? | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:12:12 PM | I have learned to be patient, just like in life your not going to connect with every person you meet. I have learned do not build up any expectations, especially before meeting a person. I have learned this is only one avenue to meet people, and don't take it too seriously because it will drive ya nuts
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:35:52 PM | 1) a good way to get pictures of old, ugly, naked people emailed to you is to start an online dating account.
2) a good way to get asked out on dates by people who have absolutely nothing in common with you is to put up good photos of yourself.
3) EVERYONE thinks that they are in much better shape than they actually are.
4) a surprisingly large percentage of women seem to think that they can find true love by posting a picture and the words "I like to laugh and have fun... no players please" online.
5) you can actually find some really awesome folks on here if you stick with it,
however....
6) the access to a virtual cornucopia of single folks at the click of a button does seem to encourage folks to stray from otherwise good relationships - the grass is always greener seems to be quite a strong thing. I've seen a great many folks jump from relationship to relationship only to be unhappy in the new relationship. Sad but true.
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:11:11 PM | The Devil had it right in the movie 'The Last Temptation of Christ"
'All women are the same, they're all Mary with a different face'...and they all like to live, laugh, and love, as well as take walks on the beach, be active and outdoorsy while still being a home body. And they all claim to be unique.
Actually, 99% of women's profiles are generic and pretty thoughtless.
'Lax/Lacks imagination' constantly passes through my mind when reading them.
As for lessons?
I've learnt why men have degenerated into sending one-liner messages...becasue a well composed message of 3 paragraphs is just a waste of time when it gets the same results as a one-liner.
Women have little to no initiative. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:19:44 PM | 1.) Patience, patience, and more patience; even if it takes years.
2.) Most people now know the magical powers of cropping out their fat rolls in order to SEEM physically fit, not overweight/obese, etc. I'm a victim of falling for something like this. I shall be cautious, very cautious, if I can't see a photo that shows more than just someone's face.
3.) 99% of the time the coolest people are at least 600 miles away from my location, but then came the 1% that was only 20 miles away from me.
4.) Most women are going to be lazy and expect us males to ALWAYS initiate the conversation (But somehow, that 1% managed to message me first.. go figure.)
5.) Wait about a week before meeting up.. not 3 hours because you're so desperate and lonely.
6.) Southern women don't dig me.. and that's okay! I don't dig them either. 
7.) Most people where I live are still behind times with metro sexual hairstyles and the like.
That's about it. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:22:40 PM | Let me see how many lessons I remember...
1) "Chemistry" online can be great, but you have to meet to see if it flows in real life
2) If you happen to progress into a relationship with the online find, you'd still have to work at the relationship - no shortcut from "click" to "happily ever after"
3) Same kinds of people are online as if in real life: good, bad and the ugly (i.e. online predators, people who're looking for the next best man/woman, etc.)
4) Just as exhausting looking for a match online
5) You never know when your match will find you or vice versa, so bear hope!
Good luck! | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:31:43 PM | I have learned that if I want to be entertained, I log on to POF and enjoy the Forums.
If I decide to get a date for dinner or drinks, I go to my local Country Western dance club. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:33:53 PM | trust your instincts and 'stop looking' altogether, meaning stop building expectations, make friends and be more open and receptive to whoever walks into your life.
don't take crap from nobody especially guys who want to get into your pants! | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:47:08 PM | You are so right wrangerdale.
On line dating seems more about people getting attention and not finding a suitable match to date.
i see women who have a dozen or so people who have them as favorites. That is a collector and only seeker of attention.
I have heard the excuses well they are my friends.
REAL FRIENDS HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER AND DON'T COMMUNICATE VIA A DATING SIGHT. lol
I know some of you are scratching your head with the concept of verbal communication but im sure there is enough of you who get it.
This dating sight allows you do knock your self off other peoples favorite list. so use it and stop looking like a playa.
The term favorite by definition means one above all others.
On line dating has taught me to tighten that seat belt and hold on because you never know what your gonna get and free online dating well....you get what you pay for.
I wish i lived closer to you wranglerdale i'd go drinking and any day. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:50:06 PM | I have learned, that even if you've got the best...it is hard to stop looking.....
I have learned that lots of the people on this site are B+ or higher....either that or I am great at screening.
I have learned that's great to pick a couple of the guys (in my case) and make a true friendship grow...people I will never even meet, but that can give me good advice when needed.
I have learned that I like Anglo men ( I thought I didnt up until 2 years ago.) and that they are really nice .
I learned to always be cautious and take no chances....life is precious.
I learned I got hooked up on forums!!! | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:53:39 PM | I have learned absolutely nothing. matter of fact i think I lost a few brain cells in the process.
While I only had 1 date here [havent tried really} my total online experiences have been similar to my offline experiences.
If i meet a psycho or someone who has no morals I dont go crying about online dating cause in all fairness I have had the same results in other places even from setups from family members. {maybe they think we are a match} | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:02:33 PM | I've learned that you can wear bunny slippers and talk dirty to a guy online! I've learned that morning coffee and webcams are not a good match because of what sights await you before you've had your second cup. I've learned that sometimes it would have been a much better idea to vacuum instead.  | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:18:59 PM | | Not really from dating, but from the forums I've learned that it's OK for you to have preferences that exclude people. But, if other people have preferences that exclude you, then it's not OK, and those excluding you are shallow. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:05:59 PM | | Without exception, women in real life turn out to be bigger than their pictures. I've been doing this for a while now and have yet to meet a woman who is under 10" tall. I wish people would just be honest. Or maybe I should get a really big monitor. Technology is challenging, to say the least. | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 3:55:44 AM | Ive learnt from reading various forum posts that the women are all insane and angry and can't trust anybody and they want a man who wont go near the woman's kids (because men are all pedophiles) but will also give the woman .loads of money to spend on the kids
So basically the women are mad and want a man to give them money but not expect anything in return | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 4:39:53 AM | I learned that from my 4 meets here??? Guys on this site in Aus... ROCK!! So 3 of them didn't work out.. 2 were yumm and one is my wonderful SO. If you are a realistic and honest? You get that back in spades. TY pof!! | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 4:49:45 AM | I've learned how shallow and mean men are. I haven't encountered this IRL as much as I have here.
I also learned that everyone seems to like long walks on the beach, even if they live no where near the water... | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:14:36 AM |
I've learned how shallow and mean men are. I haven't encountered this IRL as much as I have here.
Well, guys don't have the market cornered on that one my dear....
What have I learned????
One overall guiding truth....
READY?
Here it is....
There is ONE solitary overall truth about online dating.....
There is ONE rule and it is - ANYTHING GOES.
Used to be there were morals, manners, upbringing, a modist amount of being realistic about dating and relationships.
NOW - all bets are off.... Anything goes. Selfish, self-centered, self-serving,..... 'all about them' types of people.
Is it any wonder that there are so many divorces and failed relationships.
People - relationships are a two-way street. Give and take. It isn't all about them or you. It is a mix. A blend. Compromise.
Are you prepared to give as good as you get????? | |
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| What lessons have you learned from online dating?
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:35:10 AM | Ok here goes,
1 You never know what you're going to get. Met someone with no pic! Guess what...
see was very attractive but FRIENDSHIP just meant sex. Don't need to travel 4omi
for that.
2 Some times ATHLETIC is code for sumo wrestler ! sorry LOL
3 There are a lot of people on here just for entertainment.
Most important for me I'm learning about relationships in my 40s.
Not taking ( no response/connection) personally
It's just as crazy online as it is out in the real world!
PS I HAVE MET SOME GOOD PEOPLE ON HERE. | |
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