| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and "workout" with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:50:24 PM | So I've been seeing this girl for a month now and I really like her.
Things have been going pretty well despite the sixty some-odd miles that separates between us. But, lately she's been talking again to her EX. At first, she just said she was talking to her EX because her car broke down and since he knows a handful about cars that she would go to him so she "wouldn't get ripped off". At first, that was odd, but I guess I could understand it. So this week comes rolling around, and she just told me she got back from the gym. But guess with who? She told me her ex....Weird thing is that she never goes to the gym and hasn't been to the gym in months...and just the other week, I asked her if she wanted to go with me and she said no....
So my question to you, is that not a little strange for her to all of a sudden go to her ex for car work, but now they're going to the gym and she claims that she went to the gym because she wasn't in a good mood and no one was around?
Aren't couples suppose to workout, not ex's?
This is bad....I know it is, but what do you guys think? | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 6:55:00 PM | Things have been going pretty well despite the sixty some-odd miles that separates between us. But, lately she's been talking again to her EX. At first, she just said she was talking to her EX because her car broke down and since he knows a handful about cars that she would go to him so she "wouldn't get ripped off". At first, that was odd, but I guess I could understand it. So this week comes rolling around, and she just told me she got back from the gym. But guess with who? She told me her ex....Weird thing is that she never goes to the gym and hasn't been to the gym in months...and just the other week, I asked her if she wanted to go with me and she said no....
YUP!!! the ol X huh....ya she's working up a sweat all right and it's not at the gym.  | |
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stts
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Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 3 | |
| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:13:23 PM | A relationship is about trust. But this is a new person in your life. Trust cant simply be blindly given. It has to be earned. After all, this is a person that wants entry within the walls of your innermost defences. So you have to keep all this in mind as she does things to strengthen your building trust in her.
She has choosen to tell you things. I cant say the motive behind the tells. Maybe she is having conflicted feelings, or maybe she is trying hard to be honest about her life. It is up to the both of you to be clear about each others intentions in this relationship. If you have doubts about what she says, then tell her about your feelings and ask her to explain more about her reveals. Now is the time to work out your misunderstandings so you understand her better. This could be something, or this could simply be nothing at all. | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:20:27 PM |
So my question to you, is that not a little strange for her to all of a sudden go to her ex for car work, but now they're going to the gym and she claims that she went to the gym because she wasn't in a good mood and no one was around?
Hmm... that does seem a bit strange.
Aren't couples suppose to workout, not ex's?
Yeah, if that's their thing I would imagine so.
This is bad....I know it is, but what do you guys think?
I think Megadeth is awesome! I think it's cool that the Riders won their season opener. I think I'm going to like driving my car again once it's fixed. And I think you need to make a decision about what you're going to do about the situation you find yourself in. | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:24:38 PM | Honestly? I think you're being paranoid. If she's going to the gym with her ex, why on EARTH would you assume that they're up to no good? He's her ex for a REASON most likely, and it's not unheard of for ex's to remain good friends, and to still do stuff together, for whatever reason. I think you need to take a step back and look at yourself here, because she doesn't look like the problem.
Another thing. If the above is true, I would venture to say that it's a possibility that her story keeps evolving because she's uncomfortable with your insecurity. I think that it's something you need to address. Don't pull an accusatory stance, and first look at all facets of the situation to see if it warrents attention. Make an effort to MEET this ex, and put yourself on good terms with them. Avoid at all costs the appearance that you're checking up on them. That shouldn't be your motive at all. A night out with all three of you having an honest to goodness great time would go a long way on behalf of all three of you.
Again though, as the song goes:
"Before you 'cuse me, take a look at yourself" | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:29:31 PM | Yeah she is playing you and trying to condition you at the same time.. get your azz out of this situation pronto... or she will be caught in bed with him and tell you that he was just giving her vagina a good scratching with his penis only because you were out of town.. this gal is bad bad news and stay away as she is just another pretty girl with a vagina.. and there are lots of other pretty girls with or with out a vagina.. that won't puzzy phart to you .. her ex is not her ex he is still in her life.. ex's are over.. done and finished.. she is just looking for someone she can yank around and yank in and around too.. stay away the tale of the golden twaaat is not a pretty picture .. you can get much higher commodity priced goods .. anywhere..
ight out with all three of you having an honest to goodness great time would go a long way on behalf of all three of you. --------- nah I don't think he wants a significant other and the lover from another mother here kid.. you really need to understand sexual anthropology .. guys get hot for their woman from participating in exercise .. so get with it .. she ain't stupid she understands EXACTLY what she is doing.. she is trying to condition a man into being her set of damaged goods so she can use his sorry azz whenever .. her ex.. mister leftover penis.. when he decides he wants her leftover parts.. sometimes dogs want a bone when another dog wants it to.. she has major self esteem issues and my guess is that when this OP here wakes up and dumps her sorry rump.. the ex will no longer be interested and dump her as well... she come running back to the OP because "she is the golden vagina.." and the roller coaster ride is still the same price.. same shit different day.. want change reposition your life and find someone that actually wants to be around your molecules because you do it for her.. if she is into you .. she would need to smell you ... taste you and breath every drop of you in ....NOT THE EX...
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:36:13 PM | | Wow. Pretty harsh comments here from the majority of you. Some of them are downright wrong, such as HAVING to cut off contact with an ex. That's rediculous. I'm great friends with my ex, and though we've grown apart, we still talk to eachother. For goodness sake, what's with all the paranoia around here? | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:39:46 PM | |Ken , you may have an ex but it was definitively not HOT... if the attraction was there .. it don't go away.. so my guess is you may have an ex but the chemistry was very very .. way off.. great chemistry does not disappear.. so out of site out of mind is critical for someone who was toxic to you .. other wise why not stick around for the rest of the story..
If you are still attracted to your ex and she is a very close friend.. get counselling and get off this site .. you have what most are already looking for .. easy what outs are easy people... | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:40:38 PM | Dude? You're not a woman.
We're women.
She's banging her ex.
Without a doubt.
I didn't say to dump her. I just said she's busy with her ex.
There's talking and then there's spreading your thighs on a work out bench and getting sweaty wearing next to nothing with your ex - who you were ONLY phoning for mechanic suggestions.
Come on! The new guy lives 60 some miles away.
She's into her ex.
And the new guy will soon be the ex-new guy.
While the ex guy is a comfortable old fek.
It happens. | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 7:43:33 PM | Ex's can still hold your heart. Becareful. Maybe she is not doing anything, and maybe she is. You will just have to go with your instincts on this one. If my ex joined the same gym I go to, I would feel strange. I would definitely want whoever I was seeing to be with me at the gym. JMO Smells kind of  | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:43:01 PM | | I think it's takes most woman to be in a relationship for awhile before they really enjoy the sex. They have to get comfortable with the guy. Unike us men who can "bail on" in a heartbeat and get satisfied. Yah he's banging her dude. Good sex is the only thing that keeps MOST relationships together as long as they do. Some stay together for the kids sake. Or the money. You are or was the "get over it" guy. Move on or call her on it. | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:46:43 PM |
I think it's takes most woman to be in a relationship for awhile before they really enjoy the sex. They have to get comfortable with the guy. Unike us men who can "bail on" in a heartbeat and get satisfied. Yah he's banging her dude. Good sex is the only thing that keeps MOST relationships together as long as they do. Some stay together for the kids sake. Or the money. You are or was the "get over it" guy. Move on or call her on it.
What do you expect when the majority of people out there are more worried about whether their prospective partners can dance than they are with whether they can communicate? | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:53:09 PM |
Goes with being comfortable with the man.
Oh I was hijacking the conversation by making another point.
People use the most superficial criteria for finding a partner, then whine, gripe and complain when it falls apart after a few short weeks….
Rather than looking for someone who’s on par with them in terms of communication skills, who shares the same values and morals (or at least respects the other person’s positions), and so forth.
The look for:
- Must be able to make me laugh!
- Must be a good dancer!
- Must love cats!
Then, again, mull around wondering why he/she never stays around for more than a couple of weeks. | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:00:26 PM | Ok, if my car broke down, I can see calling my ex to save a few bucks to keep from getting ripped of at the mechanic, that is something that has to be done and saves me moneu. But going to the gym with the dude is out of line, that is something you can do wih a girlfriend or alone, and certainly not with an ex. The only reason to go with an ex is to show off your body and get quality time with them. She is still into him, and if she says otherwise she is lying, either to you or to herself. Dump her now and save yourself the heartche. You are too far apart to keep tabs on her and do you really want a girlfriend you have to watch like a hawk>screw that!
Beth | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:02:19 PM | Whoah.... Let's put the brakes on here, shall we? First of all, when I broke up with him, I didn't cast him as a total idiot, and blame him for everything. Fault occurs on both sides when something falls apart in almost all cases. There's no point to assigning blame to someone, just to make yourself feel better. Admit the fault with yourself, and see what you could have done differently, and I've typically find that I can remain great friends with them, with no romantic attraction there in the least. I view it as not assigning all the fault to yourself (that's completely unhealthy) but to do a frank, and attemptively unbiased assessment of a situation never hurts. Burning a bridge never helps.
SmellSealsTheDeal: Yeah, my ex actually WAS pretty smokin' hawt, and that hasn't changed, but there's no emotional connection there anymore. Why is it so unnacceptable to so many people that we remain friends? We hang out, talk, and do all that sort of stuff, same as any of my regular friends, and that's all there is. (And no, we're not FWB either.) I even made specific note of the fact that we've grown apart over time. And I'm rather puzzled as to how one can possibly draw conclusions about the physical appearances of my ex without having met him, to be honest with you. 
~GoneSailing~: Same thing with the conviction without knowing either party involved. Where does it come from? No I'm not a woman, but gee whiz, the gay community isn't stereotypically well known for it's chastity! (or for it's masculinity either, now that I think about it ) I've seen cheaters, and I know them when I see them. But I typically need to see BOTH sides of a story before coming to a conclusion, and meet BOTH parites to see what's going on. That's why I keep my posts around here in the supposative tense, (Perhaps this is the case, this might mean this and, so on) rather than the accusatory or convictive. (This is the way it is, it's obvious this is the case ,and the like) | |
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| Is it okay for your girlfriend to go to the gym and workout with their ex?
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:08:02 PM | | If i'm reading what you just posted correctly. I have to agree with the women on this one. She is screwing him and screwing you over. Drop this like a fresh turd. She is seeing how much she can get away with when it comes to you and she is getting away with murder. You realize that this act in the beginning of the relationship pretty much means you can never really trust her right? | |
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