| | Women and The Mention of Their KidsPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | This is a bit of my advice for the mothers out there. Two things here. 1) I myself and other guys i know hate to read about how you have kids and "they are your life" or, "they are just amazing" or, they come first"! It should go without saying that they are your life and they SHOULD BE! You don't need to say it. Something about reading that is just a total turn off, so please don't say it. If a guy does'nt already know that they are your "world", then the guy doesnt deserve the time of day from you and you'll find that out when you start to talk to him.
2) Another thing myself and numerous buddies cannot stand is when women mention something about wanting "funny guys". So many of you say..."I want a guy that can make me laugh". You know what? Its hard to be funny sometimes and most people are'nt funny, especially when they feel like they have to be. Dating can be a pain in the ass as it is, it should'nt have to be more difficult by women making those demands of wanting a guy to make them laugh. Of course we all want to laugh but when you make it a requirement, it sucks and can put alot of pressure on a guy to try to be funny. Do yourself and most of us guys a favor and keep that demand out of your listing.. Thanks for your time.   | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:16:27 PM | It's necessary to state the position your children take in your life because they are your life, and you want to be clear about that. The state of affairs in this world with so many broken marriages and men straying makes it necessary. If a man can't handle reading that in my profile, then he can take his little whiney azz on to the next woman.
Funniness means different things to different people. Maybe women just want someone who is going to be responsible and roll with the punches and lighten things up when life gets heavy. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:20:46 PM | No whiney ass here...just think its stupid women have to add that in their profiles! Its as if they are trying to convince themselves that their kids "are their world".
Before you go off on me, let me say that i fully understand kids should come first and should be your priority. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:48:05 PM | OP - men do it too to the point of saying 'you will never come first'. My princess (child) is # 1 in my life.
The point is anyone with a brain cell in their head knows that your child should come first. It's easy enough to weed out people who are clueless when you communicate with them instead of turning everyone off.
I agree with you OP - this is a turn off to people who have enough common sense to know that a parent comes with children if things got serious, that you would welcome the total package. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/6/2009 8:59:22 PM | I see both sides of the arguement here.
On one hand women constantly will say or write that they love their kids and their kids come first but they seem to go beyond that. Very often they say or in the case pof they type it in a either condescending way or to say you are not the highest prirority here and i dont need one more kid.
On the other hand women do write this not just to be hard to deal with but cause some other guys have been bad to them.
Not sure if it makes it right but I guess their complaint isnt just a wine and is based on reality.
It does reek of being captain obvious or kind of like a Chris rock routine where the ghetto dad says"I take care of my kids" dumbass thats what you are supposed to do. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/6/2009 10:52:34 PM | | Tell me what you would like to see in a womens profile lets switch this over to what would be a possitive thing for you. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:40:57 AM | LOL; amen;
I want a girl that can dance like a showgirl and make cookies like my mom; I guess I should put that; lol; I agree
If you dont love your kid you are pretty pathetic; and not everyone is funny;
Instead people should just be themselves. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:55:33 AM | Ugh... this tricky argument of where the child(ren), and a potential mate are positioned in a single parent's life. **sigh**
I have 2 children, and I don't mention them in my profile outside of the "Do you have children?" to which I checked, Yes. Other then rarely discussing them in any posting, learning about my children outside of the fact that I have them comes along only after I feel comfortable (meaning, it feels safe, and the topic comes up within a natural flow of conversation) enough to allow it, and that all depends on the man I am seeing, if/when I am seeing one.
Speaking strictly for myself: Of course my children are my priority, and I take it seriously, and love it!... BUT, IF I am to get involved it would only be with a man that would understand that the relationship between he and I is OUR priority to and for each other, and that the children whether they are just mine if he is childless, or his and ours to blend, are OUR priority as a couple and co-parents, together. Tricky balance? Yes, indeed, it sure can be, but it is the only scenario I am comfortable with as to being a single mother in relation to an S/O relationship.
As to the "You HAVE to make me laugh." demand of some women that you are coming across, OP... Ugh; turns ME off just reading it in your post, so I can imagine. Smacks a bit of "In Search Of Bozo" if you ask me. (Sorry, people, I detest circus clowns... Idk... just brings Gacey to mind, and freaks me out; always has. )
However, I do love a great sense of wit, and humor ... um, hold on a sec, let me throw in my 'demand' : I love a great sense of tactful wit, and humor when appropriate. Believe me when I say that I have run into those that that's too much to ask for...  | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:14:59 PM | 1. Of course my kids are wonderful...they're MINE, but I don't feel the need to make their every waking moment my 1st priority...some of the priority is for MYSELF and my own sanity. If I'm not sane, what kind of mother would I be? As far as dating goes, I generally don't sit & harp on my kid's accomplishments the whole night...date night is for ME and they're not brought up unless I'm asked about them.
2. I'd rather have a sarcastic smartass than a funny guy. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:44:46 PM | Men do the same thing- and it's a huge turn off. I've competed with the princesses before- and almost got to the point of not dating any men with daughters. These men would drop everything, including our date, when princess calls. My son is of course number one- but not in the world. To me- but within reason. My relationships are also my priority.
When people write this in their profiles, it screams out You'll always come second. dont' compete- you'll lose. I don't bother interacting with those men.
Funny-not all men are. And it's cool when they can make you laugh. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:28:25 PM | I think it really should go without saying, here's a few more.
The sky is blue
water is wet,
feather pillows are soft.
We do get it, and understand that children come first. They should.
When people write this in their profiles, it screams out You'll always come second. dont' compete- you'll lose. I don't bother interacting with those men.
this kinda makes sense as well, for either gender. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:35:37 PM | Just because some of us like a man with a good sense of humor does not mean we expect him to entertain us wearing floppy shoes and a red nose. Lighten up, the pressure is all in your head.
And we all get that men who are still single at 40 are not interested in talking about children. No big secret there. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:39:36 PM | I just found the perfect woman's profile for ya!!!
She's looking for a guy with a New York City penthouse, at least a 150' Carver yaht, a Leerjet, a Lamborghini Diablo and said she didn't give a s%#t if you are funny but her kids approval can be had at a nominal fee  | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:28:47 PM | I don't mention my kids in my profile, or in first conversations, other than to answer a question that yes, I have three kids. Now if I'm sitting with my mom I'd go on and on about their accomplishments, funny things they said but clearly a date is not going to be interested in that.
agree with northern--there are some men who have no balance about their princesses. and they communicate that power to their daughters giving them the power to destroy a relationship. perhaps women do this too.
Love your description Sparkling Rose---kids may be one's own priority but a relationship is the couple's priority. probably a good conversation to have early in a relationship, to see if you are on same track. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:29:38 PM | For anyone who has kids at home, young kids or teenagers, they don't even need to say it, exactly, some seem to say it because it is their whole life,they can't think of anything else to say about themselves, and a few , the way they phrase it seems a little like a veiled threat of some kind.
The really hard to figure ones have "all my kids are over 18" checked and still have this in their profile.
I must be obtuse | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:56:51 PM | Thank you Holly3870... and I too have run into, and entirely agree with....
there are some men who have no balance about their princesses. and they communicate that power to their daughters giving them the power to destroy a relationship. perhaps (some) women do this too. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:40:46 PM | | You’re critiquing others when your entire profile is nothing more than blah-blah-blah? Holy logorrhea, Iggy Pop. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:55:59 AM | @OP:
You are absolutely right. Who wants to hear me go on about how I raised my kids by myself, how I provide everything for them, would put down my life for them, go hungry so they could have seconds, fight to the death to keep the roof over their heads, and beat the crap out of anyone who touches my kids?
Men do it also and just as much as the women. You wouldn't know this because of obvious reasons, you don't read other men's profiles.
I also take care of other people's kids once in a while. And on the weekends? Wall-to-wall kids of all ages in my house!!!!!! I love my kids to death, but I need a place to regroup and that is in the forums and answering emails. So the only thing on my profile with mention of my kids is in "Do you have children?"
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:42:16 AM | | OP- i have a solution for you, don't date single moms. All the stuff you listed is what goes with the territory. Someone who wants to deal with that can do so. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:00:15 AM | | When women say they want a funny guy what we really mean is we want someone who is able to laugh. Too many times in life we run across boring,bitter, hateful,perpetually depressed men who never laugh at anything because they see no humor in anything. There is nothing worse then being around someone who never laughs or sees humor in anything. So I want someone to laugh with at things we mutually find amusing,not necessarily someone to make me laugh. You have to be able to see the funny things in life and to laugh at yourself sometimes otherwise you just end up one of those people who are such downers that they suck all the joy and fun out of any room they walk into. | |
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| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/10/2009 5:16:35 AM | | i have made a similar argument in another forum and was treated like a baby killing psycho just because i want a woman to be more that a mom when we are together. It`s nice if you have something else to talk about. We also get a bit tired of women saying they "like to have fun". DUH???????????? | |
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gcdeb
| | Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 25 | |
| Women and The Mention of Their Kids
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:06:14 AM | I have the opposite pov to the OP. If a man's profile says 'Have kids: Yes' and then there is no mention of those kids in his profile, that's a deal breaker for me. To me that tells me that his kids are not important to him and he will fit them in around whatever else he wants to do with his time.
If the kids are mentioned in a loving caring way, especially if he spells out that his time might be limited because his kids come first, that's a definite plus for me. | |
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