| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:01:44 AM | I had this breakup with well a girl i was wanting to date earlier. We been together 3 months or so.
For starters we had a great 4th together. Monday I msg her to ask her how her day is going, and she talks about how she doesnt like how her life is going and us having sex and whatnot.
So im like damn, we been dating like 2 and a half months were grownups, she said i pressure her into everything. She initiates sex 90% of the time. If were making out she just takes my pants off. I mean damn how am i pressuring her? Anyways she said she "thinks" she likes me and needs a week to do some "soul-searching". And that she is trying to better herself in other ways in life and doesnt need outside pressures. I tell here i like her but whatever she needs to do. So i just decide screw it i wont talk to her for awhile. she msg's thruout the day with little bullcrap texts. I one word them, because i reread some of her texts and i was mad all day.
She gets mad saying screw me she tried to talk to me all day and i dont care. I go wtf you tell me u need a week, you "think so" on liking me, and that u dont need me, the pressure master, dragging you down. She says i never listen. I told her hell i dont want a "i think so" u either do or you dont. She says i think so means yes blah blah i never listen if i want an answer and cant wait its no. i never listen and never cared she was just there.
I tell her I made every effort i could to show her i wanted to be with her. hell i told her i liked her and wanted her how much more plain can i say it? She says all i think about is me. I tell her im not the one wanting a 1 week soul searching break. She says it wasnt a breakup i dont listen blah blah. I told her then what the hell is it? She didn't wanna see me for a week, why even tell me that crap? I told her screw it when your "I think so" is a 100% like mine, msg till then bye. She said a few more things how im stupid we still had a day this weekend, even though after I asked for that day earlier, she says she needs a week. I told her if she does cool if not bye damn. Im sick of it. I said a few more sappy ones kinda but I was mad. She didn't answer them
We barely even been dating. like 3 months. Really I dont get it. She asked me sunday if we were serious, like bf/gf, I said I dunno do you ask that anymore? So I asked. She got embarrassed and blurted out a really stupid answer that I'm still mad about, "too much restriction".
To be honest I dont know what this girl wants out of me. We were going great then this just hits right out the blue after the 4th. It's almost like she feels bad for partying on the 4th and blames me for it. Really i dont know what this is. Enlighten me. For the moment were done, but I think she will end up texting me. Something similar has happened before. Smart thing would probably be to move on, but i dont know. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:08:02 AM | She's a drama queen.
If you allow this nonsense 3 months in, imagine how bad it will be in a year when she knows how much crap she can get away with. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:08:08 AM | she sounds like a train wreck. I would tell her to kick rocks until she gets her head and her ass wired together but thats just me | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:14:58 AM | | Well one week is nothing bro, some women just need some time to figure out what they want or need. Yeah you were mad and sent her back one liners, but it isn't that hard if you like this girl to be nice to her. Nothing is worse to a woman then not being there, even if you aren't serious about eachother. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:19:29 AM | one week is definately something. I damn sure couldnt have gotten away with saying any of that.
And im personally having a terrible week because as she knows, my dog died friday. He was pretty much my kid and im extremely tore up about it still. To hit me with this just makes me even more mad. I seriously think as other posters said she is just a drama queen, and more then likely another guy is on the side. There is no reason for 1 week in my opinion.
They werent one liners, They were more like "yea" "im going to gym". nothing really there. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:26:07 AM | Blame it on the full moon...
Post holiday blues
Actually it sounds like she enjoys the drama
If your sick of it ....I would just move on....this is just the beginning and it's happened before. I don't think it will get any better.
Do you really want to invest more time in an unhealthy relationship? | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:32:24 AM | no not really. I mean i like the girl, and a little drama doesnt bother me, but damn this was not the week for this. Well, last time i felt like i had a part in this. This time it just came right out of the blue after we had a good weekend together.
She's always trying to make me jealous with "other guy" bullshit, but i dont let that bother me. But im starting to think there is another guy anyways. Im not planning on txting or talking to her anymore, but i have a sneaking suspicion she will end up messaging me after she has either had her fun, or calmed down. And i really dont know what im gonna do at that moment. I'm starting to lose some of the strong feelings i had to fix this type of thing the first time. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:51:12 AM | I'm really sorry to hear about your dog.
As for the girl: I'm sure the loss will be much easier to deal with. Look for someone else. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:51:11 AM | | sounds like too much hard work | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:27:43 AM | skyzeus apparently i keep pressuring her into sex by making out too hot and heavy. But damn its not even that hot and heavy its a little kissing then sex. Thats one of the main arguements she has for a week. Its not that i dont want to initiate, we start kissing and boom she is ready to go i dont even have a chance to make the first move. im used to at least a little foreplay or something.
Its just after 3 months you dont tell someone, "i think i do" when they ask if you still wanna date or like me. That seriously pissed me off. You know if you do or not. I dunno, i think the smartest move i could make when she eventually txts me is just to nip the whole thing in the bud while its not that serious. If i keep letting her control the whole relationship im just gonna be in a world of hurt i think. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 4:07:53 AM | | Run my dear boy, as fast as you can! She sounds extremely high maintenance and prone to drama. Really, a woman asking you if you are bf/gf.......high school is out. Smart thing is to move on. Her loss. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:29:47 AM | Is she quite young? Is this her first serious relationship? She sounds extremely confused and panicky with a lot of guilt. If this is a possibility, time and patience may see things improve. Sometimes when people act angry or aggressive it is because they are scared and you may find that, as illogical as it may at first seem, being quietly reassuring is more constructive than joining in with the fighty dynamic. Addressing issues when she is calm will give you a better chance to help her to cope better with whatever it is she is feeling that make her act this way. You could just write her off, but it doesn't sound like you will, so maybe you'll try this instead.
If it's a case of first love it can be massively confusing. Such strong feelings can be absolutely overwhelming, especially when you're young and experiencing them for the first time, especially if you haven't been doing the usual dating around thing as a teenager. I know I was so confused I didn't know which way was up when I met someone in my early 20s... it was extremely intense - for me and not so much so for him, him being older... It sounds to me as though either she's a fruit loop who is always like this in every aspect of her life, or else she has very strong and unexpected feelings for you that she is struggling to cope with and getting overwhelmed by and is unhappy about because you clearly don't feel for her with the same intensity. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:20:22 AM | It is apparent that she needed some reassurance from you that your relationship is not just based on sex. I assume she was fishing for that by the phrases she used, and the course of action she wanted to take. That was her bad.
You decide to act like a 5 year old who just had his toy dump truck taken away, by sending little one word, obvious bent knosed, texts. Then you show that you actually dont listen by using "blah blah blah" when you refer to what she was saying. That was your bad.
Women are not guys, so you cant assume you can talk with them the same way you talk to your buddies.
What you are going through is what we all go through at some point or another, and thats the realization that conversations between men and women are pretty hard sometimes. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:23:36 AM | | she wants to know if you are serious and its just a test. looks like you failed. too bad. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:31:00 AM | I'd have just given her the week and used it to deal with the loss of your dog, which you needed time for yourself to deal with anyway. I've lost animals and the last thing I needed when I did was to worry about someone else's stuff.
It is possible to want to date someone but not see them for a week, it doesn't have to mean you're breaking up.
Sounds like she needed to make sure it was what she wanted, maybe she liked you a lot and wanted to make sure it was in her best interest to continue on... | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:57:59 AM |
"Too much restriction"
There is your answer. If she thinks of a serious relationship as a restriction she isn't ready for one. Worry about your dog, not someone who thinks of being exclusive with you as a restriction. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:09:19 AM | O.P. I was in a LTR with someone I 100% truly adored- and they acted pretty much like your friend.
I never could get a grip on it. Do you recognise the feeling of just sitting there and feeling blank | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:54:52 AM | You lost your dog Friday (I'm sorry) so of course you're feeling down. She does jealousy drama, and then tells you she needs a break.
Forget her and move on. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:11:59 AM | | I doubt she has matured far enough to give you a straight answer on anything. She needs to grow up and learn about herself. Move on hun, find someone with your level of confidence and maturity. | |
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| Girl Problem
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:15:39 AM | Hey, this is supposed to be fun, enjoyable. If you aren't having fun, you're doing it wrong, or with the wrong person.
Move on, find someone new. You don't need this grief. | |
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