| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:10:24 AM | I've never been one to approach a women on a night out as until recently I've had very little confidence and have always thought it gives the impression you want to bed them there and then.
If I see someone I'm attracted to I have no intention of taking them home but I do want to get to know them.
What is the general feeling when you're approached. Is there a right/wrong way to do it. What would work for you?
Any input would be great as it confuses the hell our of me :)
Cheers  | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 5:54:20 AM | Hey OP
Approaching someone is difficult but you are a fit good looking guy so I wouldn't worry too much. Next time you are out, try making eye contact with someone and smile. Once you've done that and they are interested they will look out for you. If you manage to exchange a few smiles then go over and say hello, introduce yourself and just try chatting. Only if you get chatting offer them a drink. Its always a little creepy if a complete stranger walks up to you and says "can I buy you a drink?"
That would work for me anyway :) | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:18:15 AM | | Unless you are totally sleasy then it makes no differnce....if a woman you approach fancies you the you have a chance, if she doesn't then in the UK that in itself seems to be licence to be rude and stuck up whether you approach her nicely or not. | |
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OKRob
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Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 4 | |
| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:23:06 AM | Why do you feel like simply talking to a woman in a public place makes her think you want to get her in bed?
I would think.....
If she also thinks you're a looker (and lets face it ... When it's face to face looks are what we notice first) then she would probably want you to go and say hello rather than waiting for her to.
Don't be unconfident. Just be yourself and if it's good enough for somebody then greeeat. Just remember that we can't possibly appeal to everybody :) | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:55:41 AM | The thing is , that you never know what someone else is thinking. Say hello and strike up a conversation. You will know from her responses and actions if she may have interest or not. Beyond that point, all you can do is ask for her number and offer yours, or invite her to a public place for a drink and sit and get a chance to know each other.
Just treat all first encounters as you would meeting someone in the daytime. Just be yourself. You will only gain confidence if you approach people. We are really quite a
bit alike- just all people going about our day and not really standing there thinking that you look nervous as you approach us. Just do it. | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:18:36 AM | Thanks for replying everyone :)
I guess I get all men that approach are sleezes idea from seeing people out around town at the weekends. The amount of disgusted looks I see girls giving and the general attitude of most of the men mae me think there's no hope for genuine people.
I'll give the whole approach thing a go next time I'm out. Just need to work on my confidence as I see myself as some tall lanky bloke who's no better than anyone else.
Fingers crossed | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:24:53 AM | | practice makes perfect buddy, don't worry about rejection, in fact, how about one night, you approach 10 girls KNOWING that you'll get rejected ... just shrug it off, she wasnt the one .. too bad, wish her a good time and go back to what you were doing. | |
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OKRob
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Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 8 | |
| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 7:35:39 AM |
The amount of disgusted looks I see girls giving and the general attitude
I understand this. I have seen it lots as well. It's a sad fact that some men are just slimey and the reaction is justified. It's also true that some women don't want to be approached and rather than politely say sorry I am not interested.... They'd rather get pleasure out of seeing you feel stupid. I think there are probably a few reasons why women would react in a standoffish manner. It isn't always justified but sometimes it is.
Mate... I would just say what I said in my last post here. All you can do is be yourself and if it's good enough for somebody then they will reeeeeaaaallly enjoy you coming over and saying hello. But you might suffer a few bad manners on the way. You can't let this get you down. | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:24:07 AM | Start approaching everyone you see anywhere you go and make conversation. Practice makes perfect, and the more you do this the less nervous it will make you. Being really good at making casual and random conversation with strangers is what will help you. Also, night isn't the only time you should approach anyone - if you see a woman during the day you think is attractive there's no reason you can't talk to her.
When approaching a woman you should only want to make conversation. Having expectations or hoping for a certain outcome will effect how you approach her. Women who sense agenda wrapped in conversation will become suspicious, and you don't want that. What you want is for her to talk to you and not feel hit on long enough to feel you out and react to you with no defense mechanisms. Like dogs smell fear, women smell lack of confidence and an agenda, so regardless of what you say or do, if you secretly want something to come of it, she'll detect it and react to it. It's a skill we women have...
A lot of people will say introduce yourself, and maybe at first that will be what you want to do, but unconsciously most people who get directly approached with a handshake and/or self introduction tend to react the way someone would a door to door salesman. An over the shoulder conversation, or random question having to do with the place you're in followed by a "BTW" and intro work better. Most women don't care what you're name is unless they are interested in talking to you.
Know that your odds are as such: for every person who approaches, most will not be romantically interested, and for every person who waits to be approached, most will not be of interest to them. However, most women will engage in harmless random conversation if they don't sense a person is trying to get something out of it. From there you will need to learn body language, if a woman has interest in you and when it's appropriate to disengage and move on. All things you have to learn by doing.
Finally, realize the approach is the success, not what comes of it. You can't control how it goes, you can only approach, be entertaining, be able to go with the flow. | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:09:03 AM | | Just go out with the sole intention of having a good time. Scope the place your at and when you make eye contact, if you get the go ahead approval look...go up an introduce yourself and ask her name, then what she does for living , or compliment her on something she's wearing...not her t1ts. ask her questions about herself...the conversation should just "flow' from there and she'll be doing most of the talking. Eye contact, very important, smile and be honest. Remember you ain't trying to bang them right there you just want to have fun, chat, and get a phone number. If it don't work out move on. There's a million fish out there. After awhile you'll actually think this is fun. Well I do anyways. Good luck!! | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:55:58 AM | Thanks again for all the replies :)
Everything said makes sense and I've taken it onboard.
Last weekend I was out in a club standing next to a girl at the bar. I didn't have any real interest in her as such but she was drinking something unusual. I asked her what the drink was and we ended up having a small coversation. I did feel good after talking to her as I initiated the conversation and kept it going without feeling nervous.
For me it's more about meeting people and having fun. Sure I'd like to meet someone 'special' but being able to talk to women on a night out without stressing would be great.
I'm going to make sure I talk to more people next time and from now on :) | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:30:00 AM | | Dude. I have over 10 hours of video specifically focused on approaching women. There are infinite right and wrong ways to do it. | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:18:37 AM | ^^^10 hours? Dayum...honestly that's way too much time to go over something so simple. Women are people. Talk to one - if she doesn't want to talk to you, shrug and talk to another one. Lesson over.
If only you knew how vast and interesting this subject truly was...
I only think it's vast and interesting to men who don't have a whole lot of social fluency...if you're good with making conversations with strangers anywhere you go, it's not a vast topic.
Deciphering interest from a woman you're talking to is another story, but it's still not overly complicated. Most of it comes from practice and experience, not lectures.
OP - I'd totally approach and talk to you if I saw you somewhere, you're a cutie. I knew you'd take to it rather easily. Practice is the key. Enjoy! | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:26:38 AM | "Dayum...honestly that's way too much time to go over something so simple."
If only you knew how vast and interesting this subject truly was... | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:33:33 AM | Man who approaches a woman on a bar night out = Man who will never get further than small talk while at that bar
Proper way to approach a lady at a bar...there is no proper way, it is just not appropriate unless you are wishing to discuss sexual favours she could be giving you later.
I'm sure most respectable ladies would agree that a guy we meet well out at a bar doesn't have a shot in hell at being anything other than another bar guy. | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:40:04 AM | Dont flirt, dont buy them drinks, dont use stupid pick up lines, and dont compliment them on their looks. Doing any of these will sound like the guys your trying to avoid sounding like.
Just you talking with them will let them know your interested. By not doing any of the above mentioned things, you will be different, and thus have a better chance of keeping her attention. | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:49:12 AM | | Yes I agree with what he said, don't do anything stupid, just try to have a nice decent conversation with her, remember, we aren't talking like quagmire here (giggity giggity) anyways... Just be yourself, most women like men that are themselves. Am I right ladies? | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:39:57 PM | Personally, I've always discovered that the location is more important than what I say.
If I try to meet girls at a bar, I can't get a response to a simple question.
If I try a evening class, conversation flows easily.
If I try going to Tango, the girls start conversations with me.
My advice? Don't approach someone on a night out unless you know someone in their group, or are willing to put up with a LOT of rejection.
And if there's more guys and girls, go somewhere else! | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:30:01 PM |
When approaching a woman you should only want to make conversation. Having expectations or hoping for a certain outcome will effect how you approach her. Women who sense agenda wrapped in conversation will become suspicious, and you don't want that.
That would seem rather impossible, if one really has no interest in idle conversation. | |
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| Approaching a woman - Opinions please.
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:59:46 PM | | I tend to agree. Too much going on in a bar to have a decent conversation and the energy in there is off the charts, loud music, crowded, etc. | |
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