| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:46:43 PM | personally.... I think not. Dont get me wrong, Ive been in a few very good relationships.... but for some reason or other they just fell apart. Be it my fault (spending to much time workin, wantin to go to a rally, or just to tired right now, ect) or her fault (she gets overbearing, dont trust me, or just flat out cheated on). Seems the only women that are really interested in me are the ones out "experimenting", or wanted to take a "ride on the wild side" for awhile.... but during this "experimenting & wild side" I start to get feelings for them.... then outa nowhere, I aint what they were lookin for after all.... WTF?? Im just who I am and I like myself, Long hair, country boy, biker.... guess I could trade it all in for a haircut, white horse, and a suit of shining armour.... but in my eyes that would be wrong. Tryin to be someone your not is the same as lying, right? Like puttin up a bogus pic or sumthin.... Dont get me wrong, I can go to damn near any bar/concert/rally and pick up a one nighter..... but that aint what I want.... But back to the original question.... do YALL think it would be ok to change for alittle while to find a good friend, then lover, then spring it on her who I really am?? or just stick to my guns and hope for the best?? And I know what sum of yall are thinkin.... just cause Im a mechanic/bike builder doesnt mean Im all nasty, greasy, and smelly.... I take very good care of myself cause Im proud of who/what I am.... just tired of bein lonely.... and sumtimes a feller can be more lonely when they got sumone right there next to em!!!!!
So what do yall think.... clean up... or shutup | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:59:43 PM | OP, be who you are. If you have to be someone else, or even look like someone else, to find a woman, then she isn't the woman for you. Wouldn't you rather have someone who loves the REAL you and not some fake impression of who you think she might like? That would be dishonest to you both.
You'll find her. | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:04:14 PM | Changing the outside won't change who you are inside....so be yourself, but clean up if you'd like to attract more women. Making yourself look the best you can is not being dishonest to yourself, in fact it's being true to who you were meant to be at least on the outside. It will be you...only better
and yeah i'm a makeover show addict.... | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:05:03 PM | it's not a bad thing to flexible on some grooming issues, but don't think you can guess what someone will want. what happens if you cut your hair and then the gal shows up for whom the long hair is a turn-on? i've read a thousand profiles of women looking for the back of a harley to ride on; these women aren't going after the stockbroker look.
sounds like the gals you're choosing are the ones who aren't available. that has nothing to do with your externals. | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:10:06 PM | You are going to get advice anywhere from the idea that you should be yourself to you should do a complete overhaul.
My thoughts are this, half of knowing and getting what you want is understanding exactly what you have to give up to get it.
The question really is what do you want more?
do YALL think it would be ok to change for alittle while to find a good friend, then lover, then spring it on her who I really am?? or just stick to my guns and hope for the best??
In general, people are attracted to those that can be versatile. It doesn't have to be either or and a huge shock to the system. Think of it as not changing who you are, but adding to who you are. Being able to navigate many different social settings as opposed to just where you feel confident and comfortable. Step outside of your comfort zone and learn how to interact on many different levels. You don't want to be the walk on the wild side to women, then show them you have way more to offer and actually have it to offer. You want more than sex then don't offer just sex and make it the last part of getting to know someone.
If you notice, none of that has anything to do with changing your basic, core appearance.
If you have nice, well kept long hair it won't be a deterrent. You can always pull it back to put a suit on.
You don't have to change your wardrobe but what does it hurt to add to it?
You don't have to pretend to be someone you not but what does it hurt to add to the personality you have? | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:15:54 PM | It won't "change who you are" to get a nice styled haircut and lose the facial hair.
It won't have to be short, just look groomed. Hair was meant to be changed and experimented with. But please not a mullet.
I like long hair long as it looks clean and neat. Facial hair, not so much. | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:24:27 PM | Be true to yourself, you're the one that has to live with you.
About the only advice I have have is to keep your hair trimmed of any split ends and keep it clean. Then tie it back if you're going somewhere dressy. Then make sure your clothes are clean, stylish and not raggedy. And by stylish I just mean new jeans and t-shirts, not those worn out jeans from the 90's that I see many men hang onto nor worn out t-shirts.
Keep your eye out for the kind of woman you want to be with. She's out there, be picky. Maybe ask your friend's wives if they know any good single ladies. | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:27:49 PM | | Don't change your look if you like it. Me myself I prefer clean cut men. But you'd probably surprised at the increase of opportunities you will have. You never know, you may even like it. You can still be who you are even with a shorter dew.. | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:33:23 PM | | I think the long hair and facial hair is part of who you are. You like your long hair and mustache or you wouldn't have them. If YOU want to cut your hair or shave, do it for you. Not for some possible woman who may be out there. I, personally, like the long hair, mustache look and I'm sure there are many other women who do also. | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:53:53 PM | | Cause long hair and facial hair make a person...Get real you don't have to change your personality just cause you clean yourself up a bit. Smarten up but keep the personality, nothing false there. | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:26:39 PM |
Tryin to be someone your not is the same as lying, right?
In my opinion, yes.
do YALL think it would be ok to change for alittle while to find a good friend, then lover, then spring it on her who I really am??
How would you feel if you suddenly found out she's really totally different from who she led you to believe she was? Not such a great idea, in my opinion.
Stay true to yourself. I don't think anyone should change themselves, looks or anything else, solely to try to find a potential partner. You know... the one that might possibly come along some day and might possibly be interested just because you look the way she thinks you should look. Meanwhile, you could be missing out on Ms Right who is really attracted to men with long hair and mustaches and would think that and everything else about you is just right for her, but she never even gives you a second glance because you look like what Ms Potential prefers.
My SO recently cut off about 13" of hair and about 9" of beard to try to look more professional for his new career. He is very unhappy about it because the look doesn't fit his personality at all. He's tried it before, for a woman last time, and wasn't happy about it then either. Keeping it the way she wanted it didn't make her stay with him anyway. She still did whatever she did and was gone in the blink of an eye.
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:53:54 PM | It may not even be all about your looks. It could be your lifestyle.
Your profile says that you are self-employed. Maybe the girls hang out with you for some fun, but want someone stable for a long-term? Not saying that you aren't stable, but sometimes self-employed means periods of extra money plus other periods of scrapping to make ends meet.
You also don't want children. The ladies may want to have some excitement with you, then leave because they want to find someone that wants to start a family.
Are you dating girls that are more likely to want children? I think that's ages 25 to maybe 40? | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:03:05 PM | | No you shouldnt do that. You should just be you. There is absolutely no upside to acting like something your not. That would have to be the worst option you could have. I would say if you feel like cutting your hair do it but, dont just do it to get someone to like you and then turn around and be something else. That would be very wrong. If its not what you want inside dont do it. Just be you. If you do something just to get someone else to like you but then turn around and show them you are nothing like that they are only going to leave. Just like the last ones. I say if someone doesnt like you for you oh well who cares. I mean how would you feel if you met this real nice woman that treated you the right way and everything else you were looking for only for her to turn it around wekks or months later and be the opposite. You wouldnt like that would you? So why would she? Look just chill sit back and relax and just be you. Thats it. | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:08:57 PM | You wouldn't be asking if you weren't considering it. obviously something is not working for you if you are looking for change.
Change in general is good.
Think of it as evolving.
You are guilty of what many are, arrested development.
You have had a look that worked for you and made you comfortable for a loooong time now, I am just assuming.
But, it looks dated and comes off like you are living in the past.
You can change your look and style up while still staying true to yourself.
Look to other people's styles that you admire for inspiration.
Don't be afraid to try new things.
You should cut the hair and see what happens.
You will def attract more and will probably be surprised at the positive attention you'll get just from changing things up. | |
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| Should I change my looks to get a date?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:12:37 PM | I just answered this same question from a guy who likes "nerdy" activities but complains women don't take him seriously. With a change of a word here and there, it applies here, too.
People that are advising you to change or de-emphasize those aspects of your appearance are responding to your wish to have more contact with, and be taken more seriosuly by, women.
In other words, yes, some women will like the way you look -- or at least, won't be bothered by it -- but they are a minority. If you want to meet MORE women, you'll downplay the less girl-friendly look and play up the aspects of yourself that women appreciate more.
For instance, were I to ask you if something was wrong with my profile and say that men were not taking me seriously, your advice would most likely be that I should tailor my profile (and pictures) to appeal more to men, since that is my goal. | |
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