| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:02:51 PM | | I've been on this site for some time now because I have a few friends who recommended it to me. So hey, I figured I'd give it a shot! And yes I have connected with a few people, sent a few messages back and fourth but other than that, its been pretty bleak. My buddy went on 2 dates in the same week from this site. I dont get it. Am i doing something wrong here?? Im not looking to get laid or anything i just want to meet new people and see where it goes from there. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:09:48 PM | Nope, you're not doing anything wrong! PoF works for some people and not for others.
It sure as hell don't work for me! | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:16:18 PM | Dont compare your success here with anyone else's.
Online dating looks easy from the outside looking in, but actually meeting someone you can connect with is like looking for a needle in a hay stack. Some get lucky, others do not. Just the way of online.
I look at this as just a line in the water...I have nothing to lose by advertising here. I dont expect to really meet someone here that I will love forever...would be nice, but I am realistic enough to know most success will come from real life, not online. You should look at this the same way, and then you wont feel disappointed. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:49:14 PM | | Be patient, someone will come along. Also something to consider - it might be a slow period as people are possibly on summer vacation? Just a thought.. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 6:57:33 PM | | just like the rest of us, you just have to learn how to be patient when it comes to fishing.. or better yet, stop building expectations and make friends with people like i do... i don't expect to find the love of my life here but i try to keep an open mind. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:24:00 PM | | Well it just happens when it happens. You said you message back n forth but thats as far as it goes. Do you ask them if they would like to go do something? If so what do you ask them to go do? Is it something they say they like in there profile? Alot of times its not what you say but how you say it. SO if you say you want to go to a club with her its probably not a good idea on a first date. When you message a woman do you actually read her whole profile or do you just read some of it? Read her first date and make sure you dont ask her to a movie if it says "Well I dont like movies for first dates" Just talk about what the two of you like and then ask them if they would like to go out and do that one day. You will probably get a yes but, I would like to get toknow you a little bit first. Other than that I dont really know what to tell you. Just be cool about itand if they say no then ok cool you two can still message back n forth maybe one day it will happen. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:26:17 PM | All you can do is just as you do in real life -- you try some things, see if they work, revise, try again, note improvement (or lack of improvement), try something else. Rinse and repeat.
Being flexible and being patient will serve you very well. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:54:26 PM | Realize you'll get about 25 to 30 "contacts" or dud "meetings" that go absolutely nowhere for every real connection you make online....and that's being optimistic....
I've only really connected with one gal on the internet...I don't take it seriously anymore....all you got is a one in a million shot.....
There's probably a large percentage of people on here that aren't REALLY looking to connect...it's just an easy way to sit back while they (hopefully) try to figure themselves out....
REAL connections happen in the REAL world....when two peoples eyes meet and they just happen to have something in common....digital dating makes things overly complicated...so people who aren't ready to connect can look for any excuse possible | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:56:54 PM | OK, its one thing to be cool - the reason you're probably not getting hits from the girls is because in your photos you actually don't look like you're having much fun - in the one photo where you are smiling, most of your face is obscured.
Get a good mate and a camera - and take a few where you look like you're really having fun, not falling asleep into your beer. It'll make a difference ;-)
Minx x | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/11/2009 7:43:08 AM | | Yes dear Thom555, you are doing something wrong...evidently! It has nothing to do with your photo - I don't have a photo posted, it hasn't done me any harm let me tell you. CONFIDENCE, CHARISMA and SENSE OF HUMOUR - if you can crank those qualities up to the max then you'll be beating them off with your drumsticks! Get out there and take what you desire....and make no apologies for it! | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:01:53 AM | Apparently no one reads the rules around here, or does thread searches. This is third time in a row I'm responding to this same question just today.
Redundant.
Not many people have luck on this site. Do a thread search and you'll see that as well. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:34:50 AM | Not many people have luck on this site. Do a thread search and you'll see that as well.
^^^
I've actually done pretty well, for a born loser. I think these women have me confused with someone else. The main thing to remember is that you have to keep your lies straight.  | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:57:26 PM | Could just be this time of year or this week, things might be better next week. A few things come to mind though that might help:
- a smiling photo for your main picture is a good idea;
- might be worth saying something about what kind of girl you are looking for - cool is a bit vague and the girl you would like to meet might not think of herself as cool;
- you will probably need to take the initiative and message first;
- when emailing or chatting, ask them about themselves so they can respond. If you just make statements, like 'I like ?', then that's not easy to run with in an email and messages will just fizzle out. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/11/2009 7:16:45 PM | You might also want to change your profile statement of wanting to be on here to meet lots of cool people. Generally if you list your reason for being here as "dating" but say you want to meet a lot of people, you come across as a player.
You might also want to add more items to your "interests", talk more about what you're looking for in a date, and put up some better pictures. Downplay the tats and drums and just get rid of the bar pic entirely. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:50:45 PM | Your profile is confusing. You say that you don't know why you're on this site, but want to meet some cool people. But then, you are looking for "dating". Make up your mind.
You have some good things going on in your profile.
Give it some time.....You're fairly new to this site. Best of luck to you and hang in there! | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:04:57 PM | It's been bleak for me too and I send messages back and forth quite a bit.
It's not the answer for lots of us.
I'm pretty unique and don't match up with "normal" people. I'm quirky and
eccentric and look for others who are wierd but nice. Not a lot of us around.
Maybe you are just not average enough for a dating site. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:14:19 PM | | We are all insane. We do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. Return to the real world. This place is an illusion, shadows on the wall. We stare at it long enough and start to think the shadows are real life and not just a reflection of it. Run before it is to late. | |
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| Is there anyone out there???
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:21:32 PM | haha so true. ( I encourage everyone to read all of this as I am about to debunk the online dating world)
The honest problem is how many people are on here.. Sheer VOLUME.
It used to be that being bold enough to do online dating was just one more trait to bring someone closer to another. You appreciated the people you matched more.
I hate to say it but the problem is REALLY people being shallow.
It's a gross amplification of the real world and all that is vanity.
Probably the most maddening experience I'm sure you have all realized is this scenario:
You are looking through the pages reading peoples profiles and BINGO. You hit someone you know for a FACT you would click with in any other situation.
Am I right?
How many times have you put thought into an email just to be ignored? It's happened to everyone.
Subtle words in text form can do MEGA DAMAGE and ruin any and all chances.
Dating sites on the surface seem like this great way for people to skip the BS of the bar or other courting grounds and filter on through. WRONG.
It is anything but a filter.. It's a distorted view of how courting should be done. IN PERSON.
POF is free ( I'm not knocking the service completely) what this does is mix serious and not so serious people in the ring. What does this mean? IGNORED EMAILS.
" oh my friend told me about this thought I would try it"
Women are mostly here not so much out of desperation but as curiosity and being shallow. Of course this does not include all of you, I know quite a few VERY sweet ones.
Men are here either out of desperation or looking to maximize their number of one night stands.
Some guys are already very lonely and they go to the last vestige of hope. Online dating.
I can only imagine the psychological damage a site like this has potential to cause based on someone who is already maybe being rejected in real life.
Me? I'm an average human, plenty of redeeming qualities, along with plenty of little issues. I do fairly well in the real world ( when I'm confident, but we all have our dry spells) On here? HAAAAA
I have a few conversations, usually what ends up happening is they stop talking to me...
The reason? TOO MUCH TALKING. If someone is here out of curiosity, they realize how boring a text chat with someone can be when they don't know them. They lose interest faster than the speed of sound. Yes we all have used AIM/Yahoo/MSN or even facebook, but try hitting it off with a stranger.. It's harder than you think.
In reality there is body language, smiling, touching, laughing, etc. REAL ATTRACTION.
My heart truly goes out to anyone having a hard time on here, you are not alone.
The only thing I can say is pick your poison... Keep sending out emails (since its free) or gain confidence and realize that the PEOPLE on this site ARE ACTUALLY OUT THERE. SAY HI.
It's a lot more intimidating for some but guess what? If you're confident its 99% more likely to find your love, friend, whatever it is you are looking for.
Everyone responds to different emails, whereas some will automatically be turned off if you compliment them! it's true.
Try this approach... It's worked for me and I know now people who are looking at my profile can see this forum post and possibly be like "HEY HE DID THAT TO ME WTF".
See these ridiculous emoticons?? USE THEM.
I send out the I LOVE YOU one as a first message. Believe it or not it works. It works only on the people you would want to talk to in the first place with a sense of humor.
Let them know you are just as foreign and have the same curiosity about how silly this place is..
anyways I hope this shed some light on this dimension we're all a part of.
KEEP THE CONFIDENCE AND GOOD LUCK  | |
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