| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:02:19 PM | | Alright so on my profile rating thread I asked if I needed anything at all. More than half of the responses were to get rid of my portions involving myinterest involving "anime" and "kendo". They claimed that women don't like "nerdy" stuff or that I might scare them off as some sword wielding comic obsessed fan boy. Here is my issue with this....I am into this stuff and it is what I do with my spare time so why would I hide it from the women I want to attract? I flat out said "I can talk about other stuff I really don't only like anime" things like that. So I guess I wanna know if it is really so terrible to post the things that I enjoy just because they aren't normal. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:06:15 PM | | Its not as abnormal as you think...there is another thread going on right now with a guy asking about the nerd thing. Be yourself and dont hide a dam thing. The women will find you. It may be slow on internet dating, but in real life...they will find you. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:07:54 PM | | I had more dates from here then I did in real life....its not as if I don't do other stuff though thats the weird part. I mean I just don't get it....I try really hard to be open with my hobbies and try different things. Meh maybe I should just go buy a expensive car or something XD then they'll at least talk to me! (joking of course) | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:08:31 PM | No its not wrong. They were giving you advice trying to help you actually meet someone on here and its so hard for most guys to get replies I bet they were just trying to make your profile attractive to the widest cross section as possible to give you the best chance.
Dont worry they made me remove the part in my profile about my fetish for inflatable barn yard animals also.
Oh well
Cowboy | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:09:12 PM | OP, a profile review is for people to voice their opinions.
It's up to you whether you decide to change things based on that and f you don't want to then simply don't.
I don't watch anime but as long as I didn't have to watch it if I spent time with you it's no issue.
Keep it in there, maybe add something to the effect that it's something you like but that you wouldn't expect someone to be a fan and that you know a lot of people aren't interested.
Some women like it so I hear though...there have been threads about it on here before. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:11:51 PM | | I just think it's stupid because once they "get to know me" they'll find out any way. I mean people are on here to find some one yet they all seem to go about it all wrong...how is it right to pass over some one because they have ONE hobby that isn't what they wanted? You'll never find some one that is completely perfect in every way shape in form if you don't at least talk to people =\ | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:14:06 PM | To me... anime just makes me think your going to be childish.
In the past anyone I have ever met that was really into that stuff just seemed really young. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:14:40 PM | | Correct me if I am wrong...but did you or did you not just say you have had more dates from here then you have had in real life? Based on that, I am not seeing that you are having a problem. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:17:01 PM | well one is more than none....so yes....yes I am.
Also to say that some one is childish because in the past all of the people you have met that like a certain thing were childish is no better than me saying because you enjoy country music you're a hillbilly.... sort of silly right? I don't actually feel that way of course but my point stands strong. People claim to have open minds yet all you hear is stereotypes =\ | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:45:04 PM | When you using the forums, sometimes you will get answers that do not fit what you are asking, or are some where out in the twilight zone, and not a thing applies...
You have an example of people telling you what women don't like... OK, maybe they don't, but if you enjoy it, and it is a part of your life then post it in your profile, piss off on someone that isn't into it, because it is a really good chance that you and them won't mesh well.
Profiles work better if you are honest with who you are, and not putting up some facade' that will get you a date, or even an email responded to. It is one of your interests, and as long as it isn't immoral, illegal, or hurting anyone, then be who you are, and feel ok about what you enjoy.
I will tell you it is HARD having a relationship with someone that you share very few interests with; so put in things you enjoy, and also be sure to put in things that are a general interest as well, BUT are also things you truly enjoy, and not just saying because you want to catch a fish...
If I were to give you profile review advice, I'd suggest pics where you can actually see your face. From the pics I looked at on your profile I don't see any that are a good look at your face.
We can all pretend people don't go for looks, or whatever, but the reality is this, a great facial photo, can do wonders for you.
The other stuff, I don't know, I guess at my age, I don't take issue with one or two hobbies of a person, unless they were part of that person's entire existence, like a total into every Trekky event that is held in North America. That would be a bit to much...
Edit, ohhh geez sign of being behind the times.. Cosplay, well there ya go, yeah that would be like a major Trekky, lol...
I think down playing some of that isn't a bad idea after all... | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:46:42 PM | #1 - Refer to your kendo as "gym workouts" in your profile and go into detail if someone asks in email or on a date
#2 - If your profession or college major is art/animation/graphic arts list it as such and give the details about anime in email or on a date.
#3 - Never - NEVER - mention Cosplay, wear any Cosplay item on a date, or let your date see any Cosplay photo until you have know her for at least a month. Really -- it's like admitting you're a cross-dresser. Don't take her to Renfest either -- unless SHE suggests it.
#4 - If you are not a professional in art/language/political science and your date is not into anime, you are going to have to understand that your passion will probably not be shared with her. This means you will have to relate to her in more "average" activities like Sports, Fine Dining, Travel, Night Clubs, and yes, Family get-togethers.
Hobbies are great, but if you don't show an ability to function well in the average social environments, 99% of women are going to avoid you. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:52:28 PM | People that are advising you to change or de-emphasize those aspects of your hobbies are responding to your wish to have more contact with women.
In other words, yes, there are women that like the same things you do -- or at least, aren't bothered by them -- but they are a minority. If you want to meet MORE women, you'll downplay the less girl-friendly activities and play up the interests you might have in common with women.
For instance, were I to ask if something was wrong with my profile and that men were deleting my emails, your advice would most likely be that I should tailor my profile (and pictures) to appeal more to men. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:52:59 PM | | I think the only thing that would put me off on that sort of thing... Is well you have a picture of you dressed up as Squall off Final Fantasy 8... Cool game yes, the fact that you cosplay is a little off putting though. Put up what you want about yourself, just remember not all girls are going to be into it. Even if its just something you do in your spare time, people will either be okay with it, or they wont be. But best of luck. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 10:59:40 PM | | Sort of stupid inevitably they WILL find out. Why is honesty off putting? I'm being open as can be with people...bah forget it time to remodel. NO ONE cares about honesty....such a pathetic world we live in. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:05:17 PM | Really? That's what you got out of my carefully-worded answer (as well as everyone else's)? That people don't care about "honesty"?
For heaven's sake. I'm going to have to check the ages of OPs from now on. All these teenage tantrums and sulking aren't worth the time of typing an answer. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:13:00 PM | | Cool story sis? I'm sorry but "it's off putting" etc.... ok so it'll be just as off putting 2 years later as it is today. People need to learn to look past the top half and get to the core. Am I the only one mature enough to understand that? I mean really? You're answers are all the same carefully worded or not. Pure examples of how low the scale of humanity has fallen. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:15:11 PM | {quote}I just think it's stupid because once they "get to know me" they'll find
out any way. I mean people are on here to find some one yet they all
seem to go about it all wrong...how is it right to pass over some one
because they have ONE hobby that isn't what they wanted? You'll never
find some one that is completely perfect in every way shape in form if
you don't at least talk to people =\
You're just not thinking about this with the bigger picture. Attractive girls get a lot of contact (you are probably emailing attractive girls, correct? ) Those girls glance through profiles to decide which emails to read. Your profile is just the first step to meeting someone. Girls have to eliminate some of those profiles, because there is only so much time in a day.
So, If I had my photo up, and were getting tons of emails, I would probably pass by your profile because your id is "sly fox" , and you have a photo of yourself in costume. If a girl doesn't want to spend her time doing activities in a costume, it's a good idea to see someone who won't be expecting her to. Exception: willing to wear a costume on Halloween
{quote}Also to say that some one is childish because in the past all of the people
you have met that like a certain thing were childish is no better than me
saying because you enjoy country music you're a hillbilly.... sort of silly right?
I don't actually feel that way of course but my point stands strong. People
claim to have open minds yet all you hear is stereotypes =\
Some people have stereotypes, or preconceived ideas, because life is short. If a girl has known a few, or several guys that liked anime, (friends at school ) and they seemed childish, it makes sense to conserve time. Also, some people may see anything cartoon as childish. Some people may see dressing up as childish, because, no offense, but small children do spend their time watching cartoons and playing pretend.
They point of the advice, or profile reviews, is to help you get pass the initial elimination stage into the point where someone would consider other aspects of your personality. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:15:41 PM | | You betcha, wack daddy, whoa. People today really don't get it man. It is sad, I feel ya bro. The world just sucks, man, it isn't you. No, sir. It's everyone else, for sure. Not you. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:19:14 PM | @ wack or whatever your name was.... 2LDR sorry =\ also
@ zeph - Really? Kids today? Ok yeah I'm young but at least I am able to look past the fact that some one likes a weird hobby. People do and say weird stuff it is how we are. So why the heck can't we all just get to know the real inner parts of ourselves and each other ignoring the small stuff? What does me liking anime have to do with love? Answer me that and then maybe I'll listen to what you have to say no matter how insulting and ageist it may be. | |
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| Serious question for you ladies out there
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:28:14 AM | | Look, Sly - check out the age bracket of your critics. I'm 47 and yeah, I just don't get it, however my 21 yr old daughter is into anime and all that. It's a generation gap. And I agree with you that if that is something you are interested in, there is nothing wrong with putting it in your profile. If someone has a real problem with it, why waste their time, and yours? Go with your gut. | |
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