| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:14:47 AM | | i'm like very shy and stuff i can't talk... lol but yeah ive never had any luck cuz they thought i wasnt interested cuz i wasnt talking because i was nervous and shy ugh lol also virgin my families christian but yeah... i dunno how do i overcome shyness and communicate with ppl im interested in? | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:49:29 AM | Ok well first of all you need to treat the fact that your a virgin seperately from the no date fact because they are for different reasons.
Focus on your dating/shyness issues, the thing is everyone gets shy it's just different amounts for different people. They are probably just as shy as you are. When it comes to dating shyness is just fear of rejection so if you know that they like you you just need to go for it! 
I think the best idea is to talk to them just how you would talk to your friends, try to see them as just that, talk about those sorts of things. Then as your confidence grows and you become more comfortable just gradually try and turn it into a relationship. Friendship > relationship happens alot. Maybe wait till you get to uni and have to start making friends there.
Your a very beautiful girl with alot going for you with your uni course on the way. Just learn to be proud of who you are.
I wish you the best of luck and i'm inly a message away if you wanna chat. 
 M-Bomb | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:07:24 AM | I was very shy but overcame it when i started university because people there didnt seem to judge at all on how you look or anything
I also found that just pretendting to be confident worked topo, I couldnt believe how many people thoiught I really was as confident as I pretended to be!
So maybe give acting a try, just act as though you think you're intelligent and attractive (but not arrogant) | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 3:48:48 AM | You're shy? Really!
From the OP's profile:
I f*ck on the first date. Ha Ha Ha j/k No Rly i dunno anything fun. | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:45:43 AM | You're shy? Really!
From the OP's profile:
I f*ck on the first date. Ha Ha Ha j/k No Rly i dunno anything fun.
the op can be shy in person and still be able to present this type humor on line ...actually it is a common symptom of being shy ....
I can say anything online but Im still shy when i first meet someone ... no more so much so that it affects my relationships ..but it is still my nature to be shy
Op being shy is a curse ..when you are quiet people think the worse of you ..but you already know that
you are young ..chances are one day you will get pissed enough at people who put you down ..and break out of your shell..the way I did
its a long process ..and you have to be determined ..but shyness can be defeated ... my suggestion is to get pissed next time your shyness causes you problems ..its hard to be shy when your MAD | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:57:45 AM | I believe that the Op was just using a sense of hah hah in her profile .. and did not imply what some .. whack jobs will.. anyway the whack jobs are here .. so be onguard .. young beauty,.. okay
Now the best way to confront a phobia is to desensitize yourself from that fear.. and being here is a good way to begin that process.. also to reach outside your element in regards to being outside of your comfort zone to meet people.. this does not mean that you ever compromise your values it means you will begin to be confident in your exposures to find someone that you and the other may desire .. it is all about sending who you are out into the universe and see what calls you back..
You are beautiful and shy and they are both endearing qualities as they speak of genuine and authentic vulnerability which is the true beginning of a kind and loving heart... I believe that if you bring your trueness to the forefront and refuse to alter who you are.. then you will lose that fear of meeting people but retain.. the wonderful characteristics that make you the kid that your mom and dad love beyond words.. so just expose yourself to some safe singles events with a good girlfriend and this will give you .. the exercise you need for your mind to begin to strengthen for the courage to move beyond.. slow steady increments will alleviate any panic in the brain as well.. and in no time at all you will be a shy but confident social gal... | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:14:59 AM |
"Before" is just a waste of time pretending to be committed to each other in a relationship, when everything in your life is changing.
NOW you tell me!! LOL - I got married when I was 18, three weeks after I graduated from high school. It's no wonder that the marriage ended in divorce 10 years later, but the more important thing is, I think, how it stunted my emotional growth - I'm still catching up on that.
OP, you don't need to worry about not having been in a relationship. Nobody should, really - but definitely not someone your age. I know a lot of people your age who have never been in a relationship, and they're just out having fun...and yes, going to school (like I should have been at that age). | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:12:34 AM | | I have a couple ideas. It mite be good for the OP to concentrate of friendships in "real-life" & talk to friends about wanting relationships & play things out. A friend mite make her feel more comfortable & my actually want a relationship or know someone who mite a good match for her. It's also a good idea to keep trying dating sites out. It can be easier for some people (like myself) to talk about things on them. Either way it can be very rough thou expecally for shyer people. | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:27:46 AM |
i'm like very shy and stuff i can't talk... lol but yeah ive never had any luck cuz they thought i wasnt interested cuz i wasnt talking because i was nervous and shy ugh lol also virgin my families christian but yeah... i dunno how do i overcome shyness and communicate with ppl im interested in?
OP -- You're 18...what's the rush? Afraid your ovaries are gonna shrivel up at 20? Afraid your cootch is gonna do the same unless used right away?
You're 18. Live life. Just live...don't be in such a rush to keep up with the Jonses or your friends because they may have something you don't (a boyfriend/girlfriend). Don't put so much stock into finding a SO that you can't hardly see straight anymore. Seriously.
As for the shyness bit...I've been there too. It's hard sometimes to express yourself adequately and in a timely manner. You know what you wanna say, but the words won't leave your throat. You may even get cotton mouth (that dry ick feeling). Overcoming that I managed to do on my own one day outta the blue...but it took forever in my mind to get there. Haven't really been afraid to speak up since. I don't expect that you'll be as lucky to just wake up with words in your mouth, but it's possible. If you really wanna get over that fear of speaking your mind, I'd recommend a local Toastmaster's Club or similar.
I've been invited to several in my time, but have rebuffed them all. I appreciated the gesture, but for me it seemed redundant. For someone that is still having issues with the whole putting words to lips thing...Toastmaster's may be just what you need. You actually kill two birds with one great big stone. Not only will you develop the ability to put the words to your lips and then OUT...you'll master the art of public speaking! That in itself is a major obstacle that so many have issues with. As verbose as they are face to face, one on one, they would almost literally crap themselves if they had to give an oration in front of a crowd. You'd be able to do both.
Something to think about.
Or find an outlet...like creative writing. Stories, short poems, haikus, songs, sonnets...whatever. Write what you feel and express yourself. Then read it to yourself. Then read it to a friend. Then read it to more friends. Then read it to a stranger. Creative outlets are magical in their own right, and a good platform to get accustomed to sharing your thoughts and feelings and whatnot.
I'm sure you'll find a way that works best for you. The only thing I can say is, you have to really want to change that about yourself to make it happen. You can't just sit idly by and just hope it happens.
Good luck.  | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:29:57 AM | Don't sweat the small things, OP; You're cute, got smarts, young...all things will fall into place.
True confidence come with life experiences and achievement. Guys your age might brag a lot and act with bravado...but they are as scared and insecure as you are...and it is normal; heck! even older people still didn't overcome theirs...and there is nothing to die for or from!
so stop thinking about that and do not worry or obsesses on it: time and place for everything and everyone. For now, live your life, grow, and prepare yourself a long, fulfilled and happy life...one step at the time!
better "right" then "right now"..... | |
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| Never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:34:19 AM | | OP: For someone who is "shy" and "can't talk", expressing that you "fuk" on a 1st date is MIND BLOWING! That will surely get you undesirable attention. | |
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| Never been in a relationship?
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:33:53 PM | "Before" is just a waste of time pretending to be committed to each other in a relationship, when everything in your life is changing
I think that is a load of b/s. The OP sounds a lot like I was in my early adult years. I didn’t beat the shyness and nervousness until my late 20’s. I always froze up around girls I liked and became extremely quite. As a result while I managed to lose my virginity at 17 I didn’t have sex again, or a relationship until I was 27. I have a huge regret for not overcoming my shyness early in life. I feel like I have missed out on a lot of things that can only happen when you’re at that young age. Like actually thinking you’re in love and believing that other person is too. Whether it is real or not doesn’t matter because for two young teenagers it is real for them and an amazing feeling. I never felt that and I have to realize I never will.
OP the only way to overcome the shyness and nervousness around boys is to do it the hard way. You must push yourself to realize they are just “boys” and you’re just a “girl” and that’s all. They are just another human being who is just as nervous as you are but is more than likely dealing with it and overcoming/hiding it better than you are, only because they've had more practice at overcoming it.
If you find yourself to be the wallflower (the person hanging back watching the others have fun and interact with the cute boys they like) then you must force yourself forward and go up and talk to that boy you like. You can prepare a little bit, think of things you want to ask him. Talk about him and what he likes and dislikes. You can also talk about other people, it’s not the best thing to do (I hate gossipers) but for some reason it is easier for two people to talk about someone else at first than it is to talk about each other. A little sarcasm and a little flirty humor works too.
I urge you to get used to talking to boys, don’t have any expectations when you go up and talk to them, just have the goal of saying ‘Hi” and maybe “what’s up”. If you feel things getting awkward don’t be afraid to say, “You’re pretty cool, I gotta run for a bit but hope to talk to you again”. You’re not going to be a love guru right off the bat so make your goals small at first. Say Hi, then next time try to have a conversations that lasts a few minutes. Each time you achieve one of your little goals make sure the next goal is just a little bit bigger.
I do recommend holding off on the sex though. It is very true that boys your age will say and do almost anything to get laid; they haven’t yet learned respect for girls and are usually after their own selfish needs. Unfortunately boys around your age are very immature, but you can still have fun, just keep those legs closed while his willy’s out. As young as you are I bet you find a lot of meaning in music, if so check out the lyrics for “The Package” by A Perfect Circle. Maynard does a really good job of explaining the male mindset when it comes to getting sex.
You’ll have to overcome that huge pit in your stomach you feel when you see that boy you like, but the buzz you get from doing it is huge and you’re going to want to feel that again. It seems impossible but if you don’t do it you’ll always be trapped within yourself and you will grow up missing out on a lot and eventually regret it. Don’t be like me! | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 9/14/2009 12:16:13 PM | You're not shy, you're just socially inept. From what your profile said, sounds like you fumble all over yourself because your thinking is apish.
Try going to the library and actually pick up a book and read it. Then when you are done that one, read another one.
And keep reading until you realize that the word "because" is not a long version of "cuz."
You lack self-respect because you have no education. Religion does that to people sometimes. | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 9/14/2009 12:20:16 PM | | Inexperienced Men have it a lot harder than Inexperienced Women do when it comes to Dating and Relationships. | |
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| never been in a relationship?
Posted: 9/15/2009 3:13:07 PM | Get a sales job... even temporary or part time. It will force you to learn to relate well with others... or you will starve, LOL! Think of it as paid training. Socializing after that will be a cakewalk.
Being a virgin has nothing to do with anything... the divorce rate for second marriages is higher than that of first marriage divorces... that's not the kind of experience you need.
Good relationships are just friendships with a continuing series of dates, and some kissing and love making... frosting.... thrown in for good measure.
Relationships are simply friendships on fire. | |
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