| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:58:08 AM | I have trouble (sometimes) telling how the night went on a first date. A couple times I thought it went well and never heard from them again. Others, I thought it went poorly and they thought it went well.
I have this nagging idea lately to simply ask them at the end of the date what they honestly thought. I figure it would save us time and the next day "omg is he/she going to text me" stuff. We're both adults, we can handle the truth, right? Or would something like this just freak a woman out? I have a feeling she would probably fib if it went poorly anyways.
Women, good idea or bad? | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:03:02 AM | By all means at the end of the night if you had a good time and enjoyed the company tell her so and ask if she would be interested in a second date.
Know that your still not always going to get the truth as thats sorta putting her on the spot. Many gals will just tell ya they had a great time but really dont think your a match for them etc.... But others will say SURE! And then you still will never hear from them again.
But I am a big believer in being upfront and letting them know that you had a good time if you really did and that you would like to see them again.
At least they know where you stand on the situation.
Good Luck
Cowboy | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:04:24 AM | Sometimes asking right at the end of the date can really put someone on the spot. Some people need a little time to process.
If you feel it went well it might be better to ask for a second date before the first one ends.
Or email/call ( I prefer to avoid texting) after the date or the next day to ask for another date.
If they say yes to another date , it went well.
If they so no, it didn't go so well.
Asking if it went well during the date kind of seems to be asking " do you like me, do you like me, do you like me I need to know right now" and can come off as needy.
Asking for a second date while on the first one says " I liked spending time with you and I want to spend more time with you." It comes off as interest and not needy. | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:27:19 AM | | Ask her at the end of the night if she wants to go out again and if she says SHE'LL call YOU, or she's not sure, or she might be busy then chances are she's not completely head over heels. She might still call but its not anything obvious - it takes time to know how a person feels so don't worry if u don't know by the end of the night. If theres a crazy connection then you'll know and she'll be very enthusiatic about seeing you again. Infact you won't have to ask her how it went, she'll be telling you how great and that she can't wait to see you again! | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:43:27 AM | Bad idea.
Taking a survey at the conclusion of a first date blatantly advertises the degree of uncertainty you have in yourself. The best indicators of how well a first date goes are not verbal:
Awkward hug - thanks for wasting my time.
Hand shake - nice doing business with you!
Kiss - gold star next to your name.
Sex - way to go, Champ!
And stop asking women for dating advice. Do they pull a Norah Vincent and gather experiential evidence on how to go about seeing and charming women with the (mostly) sole intent of inserting penis into vagina?
Jesus!
F. | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:47:50 AM | Don't ask her, tell her.
"Hey, that was fun, I had a really great time!" beats any request for an opinion which she may not have had time to consider yet. If the date isn't over, why would you try to "rate" it?
The date isn't over until she's had time to think about why you did/did not kiss her and she has had time to call her sister and confirm that you are not a serial killer. | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:54:47 AM | Frankly there really is no way to tell. As you said you've had mixed signals yourself.
Putting someone on the spot won't work either. People (especially women) tend to not want to hurt the other person's feelings and might not tell the exact truth to spare you from feeling hurt.
So if you'd like to see her again, then tell her. See how she responds. Again she may not tell you the whole truth. Or she'll go out with a guy the next day who she likes better. So many factors come into play. All you can do is be honest and true to yourself and keep at it. | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:24:36 AM | And stop asking women for dating advice. Do they pull a Norah Vincent and gather experiential evidence on how to go about seeing and charming women with the (mostly) sole intent of inserting penis into vagina?
^^^
Msg 5 Right on the money! I couldn't have said it better. I usually know within ten minutes of the first meeting if this is going to go anywhere.
If you ask they will likely lie to you in a patronizing manner, and who needs that?
Hey, here's another clue: They are openly checking out other men. I don't put up with that anymore. I'll call her on it and get up and leave. Which is probably what they want me to do anyway. | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:28:00 AM | i always approach it like this: i really had a goodtime with you. and i hope ta see ya again. and i hope ya had ah goodtime. so you are telling them how you feel, how you think it went but you are also giving them the pppertunity to give you thier feed back and tell them what they thought.
and if the date goes badly and there is no chemistry. i tell them ya know i like ya but i think we should jest remain freinds.
or i wanna see more of ya but i also wanna see others. and then they know where they stand. its all in how you approach them. | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:08:33 AM | I wouldn't ask at the end of the date...especially if she's meeting other guys on the site (which it's common to go on a couple of "first meetings/first dates" with more than one person). Let it "marinate" in her head...
If you happen to be the only guy where she's at the "meeting stage" or if it went so well that she wants to focus on getting to know you hands down, I would hope that a mature woman who doesn't play games would give you signals...such as reaching to hug and kiss you at the end of the meeting, because she really WANTS to...or agreeing with you if you mention making plans to see each other in the future.
I think it's a great gesture for you to casually let her know at the end that you enjoyed meeting her and would like to continue getting to know her. Perhaps even give her a call or send her an email within a couple of days...maybe to discuss seeing each other again as you casually mentioned while face-to-face...that shows a woman you are a man who "follows through" and you mean what you say...a quality that I find is often hard to find in many people.
Every first meeting/date that I've ever had with a man is different. I actually have sent a guy a quick email at the end of the next day letting him know I enjoyed meeting him and would definitely like to see him again. I might even mention a tentative day that I will give him a call...that way he knows how I feel and the ball is in his court... | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:31:27 AM |
We're both adults, we can handle the truth, right?
Not all people can handle the truth.
I have never told a guy on the first date that I wasn't interested. It is always better to leave things as cordial as possible. You never know when your paths will cross again in the future.
The worst lay of my life is now one of the managers of my bank for example. It is always good to be on good terms 
However I don't recommend you ask on the date. Sometimes women are cordial because they don't want to send a guy of the edge. Some of us have had some weird/violent experiences with online men.
You will know soon enough, within a few days. If you thought it went well you can call her the next day and if she doesn't return your call, then you know. | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:22:00 PM | | Bad bad idea!! Worst questions to be asked on a date include "Do you think its going well?" along with "Do I look like my pictures?" or there is always "So, do you fancy me?" For the love of god!! Just enjoy it, have some confidence in yourslef.....and learn to read the signs the day after. If she texts straight back or answers your call you are in there my son! If she ignores the phone or your texts then you have bummed out. NEXT! | |
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| If I ask a first date how they think it went, is that a good idea?
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:46:41 PM | -- Hey, here's another clue: They are openly checking out other men. I don't put up with that anymore. I'll call her on it and get up and leave. Which is probably what they want me to do anyway. --
Never say so Jesse. I can't imagine it.
Here's a hint though - if the date lasts less than 30 minutes, it's a bust; more than 3 hours, you might have something happening there. | |
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