| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:33:00 AM | Ok well I really need input on this one whether you are for emails or the face to face...Since I have recently lost a friend over all this.. so in my opinion you can not ever truly get to know someone just with emails and msn chats ...Personally I think there is a lack in emotion and lost in translation issues with just emails and msn...You can get an idea or vibe of what the person might be but until you meet you cannot say you know the person or even are getting to know them sadly enough I just lost my friend over this subject cause he thinks completely oposite of what i just wrote...
Scenario...I have been chatting on here via messages with a guy that went to the same high school as i did..we werent friends but hung out in the same "crowds" even to the point that I ended falling asleep on a mutual friends couch and the guy markered my face while I slept(yet we still never spoke a word to each other yet) fast forward to today.....i found him here on pof we have been chatting for a week now everyday...we also live in the same town..I ask him last night for his msn..then message him on there so how about we meet at the coffee shop for half an hour have coffee since i prefer meeting someone in person to get to know them and dont care much for online messages going on forever with not really getting to know them this way ...he proceeded to say that what?? are you serious we just started talking and u want to meet?? are u nuts??? So this is where input from both sides is greatly needed and will be appreciated no matter where your opinion lies.....
Now I posted this yesterday and this morning found it was deleted so I dont understand why other than maybe earlier i had posted in the wrong forum....but this is a real..honest question and i need everyones opinions cause i am very upset to have lost a good friend of mine over all this....so please dont delete it and if u do please tell me why its being deleted. :) | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:12:52 AM | If anyone is crazy, it's your friend. You hear it a lot here where the guys get sick of all the emailing back and forth and really like the idea of meeting up soon to see the person in person, especially since there was 'a' chemistry just by emailing.
He was never a friend to begin with. You said it your self "we werent friends but hung out in the same "crowds" even to the point that I ended falling asleep on a mutual friends couch and the guy markered my face while I slept(yet we still never spoke a word to each other yet)". I wouldn't lose too much sleep over this dude and you didn't do anything wrong except offer him a cup of coffee.
Don't bend over backwards trying to please people like that, especially when they respond to you this way. | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:19:29 AM | That's weird...this guy wasn't a stranger so I don't know why he didn't want to meet.
I had a somewhat similar experience a month ago. This guy and I were messaging back and forth for 2 weeks and finally I asked him if he wanted my phone# so we can talk and he said "No - I'm too shy". Weird, right?
I'd just let it go and move on to the next... | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:26:25 AM | | i would guess he probably doesn`t look the same in person as on the page. I would be drooling to meet you so something has to be wrong on his end. Don`t chase him either, just move on. | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:40:57 AM | | Don't pay this guy any attention he is the weird one...your not even strangers after all. Meeting in person is always the best and as soon as possible in my opinion, you can develope all kinds of on line chemistry but if it doesn't transend to the real world what is the point in sharing who you are with somene. | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:53:53 AM | I think chatting on msn is ok for a little while if you're both comfortable with that. But if you're really interested in meeting that person....PLZ be HONEST......arrange that "in person" meeting ASAP to see if there is "CHEMISTRY" so that you both don't waste one another's time......If the chemistry is there both online & in person than that's a BONUS!!!!. It's always great to make new friends, but if you're looking for more.....Life Is Short......take a chance and get to someone and see what happens. Wishing All POF'ers Great  .....Have fun..... | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 9:01:36 AM | A big reason why so many use online dating sites is because they can't fully jump into the dating pool without a shield in front of them. Usually it's an indication that they have some serious issues they need to work through before they are even ready for the real world.
Personally, I have no use for constant chatter on here. If someone is local, genuinely wants to spend time getting to know me and has some free time, I want to take it OFF of this site and into the real world where I can gauge who he is without all kinds of shields and walls.
I like to get meetings out of the way as soon as I possibly can because I really don't want to waste my time messaging hundreds of men back and forth with no expectation of it ever being IRL communication or association. | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:40:39 PM |
.i found him here on pof we have been chatting for a week now everyday
A week is more then acceptable. Especially if you've been chatting every day. | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 12:46:47 PM | For those of us who are emotionally and intellectually driven human beings meeting face to face is better. A relationship with someone is based on so many interpersonal factors so it baffles me why that can not be understood. Talking to someone online is real in the sense that you are talking to someone, yet a real relationship involves in person interaction, many people forget about that.
Getting to know someone online is great for those who want things to be exactly how they want them. It is easier to manipulate John Doe into Prince Charming when you have no interaction with him in person and know very little about him and the fundamentals of his world.
Meet sooner rather then later, to prevent developing your own idea of who the person behind the profile is. Talking online for a week is plenty time to know if you want to meet them in person or not. I tend to know within 2 or 3 emails if I want to talk to them in person, mind you being able to read people over the computer is consistantly tricky, damn humans and their unpredictability haha. | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/8/2009 11:37:49 PM | | Face to face is the way to go. Like you said, a lot of emotion is lost in emails or ims. Also, it's easier to be misunderstood when a person is just writing something versus when the person physically tells another person something. Hopefully most people on here understand this. | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:43:10 AM | You have the right idea about meeting quickly. -a picture may be worth 1000 words however a face 2 face instantly removes all doubt...
Something doesn't add up...
an old high school chum who doesn't want to meet up for cokes and a face 2 face.
are you sure its difinately him (stolen pic or profile)
When it comes to messaging and wanting to meet, it usually seems more difficult to get the girl to "piss or get off the potty"   | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:14:46 PM | well i c u got lots of great inputs on this ...im really impress to see so many ppl responding to this ...its nice to see that u and i arent the only ppl to think the way we do .... well i hope this helps u girl ....
well u already know what i think ....i gave u my input....
but its nice to see the respins ur getting on this subject ..... | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:30:55 AM | The dude is whack. Of course you want to meet, as far as I'm concerned the sooner the better. The chat stuff can suck up your whole life and then you might meet and there's nothing there and you've wasted months on the crazy computer.
Some people are just addicted to the internet and they're playing around. That's why I have so little faith in dating sites. | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:50:20 AM | We are what we do, not what we say we do. If he can't show up there is something wrong.
I don't care where you live, I don't care where they live. I have flown to meet someone and i have had someone fly to met me. So this we can't get it together crap is just that, crap.
I refuse to have a never ending chat with any guy. Depending on the situation, most guys I have met on POF the meeting has taken place/ was schedule in under two weeks.
Chatting and meeting area world a part, just do a thread search about how the two true loves waited for months to meet each other only to find out they weren't attracted to each other at all. | |
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| messaging versus meeting face to face....
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:00:34 AM | | Nothing can replace a face-to-face meeting....lots of thought can be put into emails, but the spontaniety of a person's reaction to a question or situation (on that first date) will be a much better indication of what they are really like... and seeing that chemistry plays such a vital role in relationships, better to experience it first hand as quickly as possible. Nothing worse then spending weeks emailing someone, only to discover that the online chemistry doesn't translate well once both parties have met....imho | |
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