| I "Accidentally" Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/8/2009 1:56:40 PM | I have read the subject line phrase over and over in different forums and love quest sites, and I am stumped on how that happens unless you share a computer.
There are dozens and dozens of dating, hook-up, and porn sites. Even if you know a person is on a specific site, it requires some time and lots of patience to find them without a user name, especially if that person changes some little thing about themselves. Just going through all the pictures is a hassle, and then trying to recognize someone from a profile without a picture is almost impossible. I experimented to see how long it would require for me to find someone I know who is on numerous sites, and at the end of a couple of hours, I gave up.
I know there are trojan key stroke programs that can be sent to a computer, but then it isn't an accident, and also, it's illegal.
So, my question is this: Are people really finding their bf/gf, spouses, or significant others by accident, and if they are, how? Otherwise, spending all that time culling through sites and profiles seems just a tad irrational, IMO. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:11:42 PM | I don't hold alot of faith in finding someone I would want to date on POF, 5 years later still haven't met even one guy that I would of been interested in THAT way. I'm sort of old fashioned tho, I still believe in dating only 1 person at a time and that mentality is rare among dating sites with hundreds of thousand profiles to view. I figure if you are more than happy to date only one person then it is pointless for me to scroll through thousands of profiles, probably works well for serial daters tho.
POF is a free gambling site with a very low chance of cashing out big time at the end of the night. But hey its all about the chase right, isn't that what we are suppose to be liking? lol. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:12:29 PM | | A lot of the people who post about that say they found their s.o., etc., but they don't say accidently. No, sometimes it was pretty clear that they were checking up on them. And if you're actually searching for somebody, there are some tricks to it. It's pretty easy. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:14:45 PM | One would need to be suspicious to begin looking.
There was a man I was iffy about getting to know, and I easily found him listed on 5 other dating sites. He was listed on match, yahoo, true, AS, Jdate-- I stopped looking after that.
It was fairly simple to do and only took about 5 minutes. | |
|
| |
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/8/2009 2:22:53 PM |
Did he have the same username on all the sites, and was the profile info the same? different user names. But knowing a few details (zip code, age, religion-Jewish) I found him within a matter of seconds. He used the same photo on each site and his profile was more or less the same. Even without a photo (on true.com) I knew it was him. | |
|
| |
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:01:46 PM | They are finding them on sites because THEY are on sites. I'm so sick of the victim epidemic going on.
The U.S. is EXTREMELY dysfunctional in relationships. We spend more time on a computer flirting with the opposite sex when we are in relationships than with who we are with.
If you are dating someone, you should not be on a site. If you have friends on a site then make them friends on your regular email.
I just had 2 cousins find out their husbands are carrying on a cyber affair. It's ridicul0us.
Too many people online can hide who they are and what they are doing.
Online dating is extremely risky in some cases. People are very flaky, or do not have honorable intentions. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/18/2009 8:54:47 PM | Well, for example, I just Googled my handle... "m_church"
That's all I typed in.... the first two hits were both relating to Plenty of Fish "Forums where m_church has posted"....
I guess that about answers how easy it is to find someone 'accidentally'.... | |
|
| |
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/18/2009 11:27:21 PM | The first time my ex put his profile back up, a g/f was looking at profiles for herself. She emailed me the link and asked if this was the guy I was involved with. I confronted him. He took the profile down.
A few weeks later, it was back up again. I found that one because my instincts said to do a search and again I found him. I had deleted my account months before so I did a search without signing up again (seems POF is one of the few that allows you to do this). Again, I confronted him. He made a big production of deleting his POF profile (along with the ones on other sites).
When he stood me up one weekend, I went looking for his profile. Not only did I find it back up a third time, but he had a testimonial from some woman that was clearly marking him as her territory (I guess to scare off the ones who have him listed as a favorite). He didn't even know it was there when I confronted him. He got rid of the testimonial awful quick. lol
Needless to say I walked away from him. There are too many sites out there to constantly be checking up on the guy. I don't have that kind of time to spend on endless searches. Each time my instincts were telling me something was not right (even when the g/f found his profile I had the feeling things were not right). I've learned my lesson to trust my instincts. I would be a lot better off had I done that. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:26:06 AM | Not so hard to accidentally stumble upon something like this if you ever use the same computer . . . if your partner is a little absent minded, forgets to sign out or close a browser.
Granted such accidents would be rarer than snooping. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/19/2009 6:20:55 AM | Well, you can "find" them if someone else who is on that site sees them, and tells you about it. I don't doubt that happens all the time. That wouldn't be you going out looking for it, it would be following up on someone else finding them by chance.
Some people are stupid enough to use the same screen name on all the sites they are on. So if you google someone's Yahoo or AIM name, for example, and they are using that name on a dating site too, you might find them that way, just by chance.
If you had your suspicions and went to dating sites to look for someone, it's not hard to narrow your search criteria down (within 5 miles of where they live, their race, their height, etc.) enough to find them within the first page or two of people. So you wouldn't have to put a lot of work into finding them, if they weren't going out of their way to hide. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/19/2009 6:44:06 AM | Most people use the same information, pics and even usernames from site to site. I found a gent I was dating on all types of sites, with little effort at all.
I had no issue with it while we were only dating. When he wanted to be exclusive, I watched his accounts on the sites and while he closed the ones he knew I knew of, he didnt close them all. I asked him about one of them, he closed it..again, not closing them all. So I sat him down and we broke up. I am not going to chase him down on every site to force him to close the others down...if he was really serious I figured he would have just done that on his own. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/19/2009 6:56:40 AM |
If you had your suspicions and went to dating sites to look for someone, it's not hard to narrow your search criteria down (within 5 miles of where they live, their race, their height, etc.) enough to find them within the first page or two of people
That is the part that I am not getting. I know absolutely my friend is on numerous dating sites. I simply used him for the experiment because he on so many, I thought I would have a better chance of finding him. I didn't know which sites, or what username. I brought up sites and started the search. I never found him on a single site. I called him and asked him which sites he used, but not his username. I finally found him on one site by his picture. I never found him on the other sites he named. During a conversation about this, he told me he changes his username and varies the basics of his profile in order that he won't be easy to find. Yep, he is a player, but that is what made me curious. I didn't understand how women could be so foolish not to do a little investigation about him before becoming emotionally involved.
I suspect most experienced players do the same thing. Every profile is a different user name, or has different basic information to fool a search criteria.
For instance, in his case, my search criteria was 56yrs., 5'9", within 50 miles of my zip code, average weight (or between certain weights if that is what the site called for), caucasian, and single, divorced, or widowed.
Even after finding out which sites he was on, I didn't find his pic until I expanded my search to within 100 miles of my zip.
I questioned this "accidental" thing because, even as long as I've been around dating sites and chatrooms, I wondered if there was something I was missing. There is always something new to learn about how to navigate these murky waters, and I didn't want to be left behind. Who knows? I might find someone, someday and decide to mend my wicked ways. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:21:52 AM | I have struggled with this - as there are so many variables. For instance, if I go out with someone, heck even 3 - 4 times, and it is clearly the "dating phase" and not the "You may be my soul mate (blech, I HATE that term), you are the one I have been searching for, you are the "one" - I always get leery when I hear terms that I consider extremes VERY early in the getting to know each other stage...I call it verbal diarrhea.
Granted, I am no saint either, if I met someone, and I was intrigued, I would in fact look at other sites and see if he was on there....Would I bring it up with him? Probably not, cause I am feeling a little sheepish for checking, and as long as we are in the getting to know each other stage, he is free to get to know and date other people...just like I am.
I will finish up by saying this, if I met someone and were "in a committed relationship" I would stop checking, I fee it isn't healthy, and if I have to sneak around to see if he is sneaking around - what am I doing there in the first place?
Trust is paramount in an adult healthy relationship | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:12:44 PM |
One would need to be suspicious to begin looking.
There was a man I was iffy about getting to know, and I easily found him listed on 5 other dating sites. He was listed on match, yahoo, true, AS, Jdate-- I stopped looking after that.
Isn't it normal to expect someone you met on the internet to have quite a few profiles on various sites though? I know I've got a few - that doesn't mean if I'm seing someone I'm interested in that I'm still using them to trawl for more... | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/19/2009 11:08:49 PM | | Well I can tell you it does happen by accedent..my girlfriend called me and said my ex...tagged her.....HE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME ...HIDES...THEN GETS TO KNOW PEOPLE WHILE HES WITH SOMEONE AND IN A SO CALLED LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP.....YES IT DOES HAPPEN.. i HOPE YOU MEN HEAR THIS it is not funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HURT ONE PERSON AFTER ANOTHER....AS AN EX WIFE...I AM TIRED OF WATCHING HIM DO THIS ONE WOMAN AFTER ANOTHER....GOOD LUCK. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/20/2009 11:11:58 AM | I literally just found someone I know within 30 seconds. All it took was filling out a few of the specifications in "advanced search" (his age, hair color, ethnicity and city - that's it) and he was the first match to pop up.
So, yes... you can "accidentally" stumble upon your significant other... but that would require you to be signed up for this thing as well... so who's the better person in a situation like that? Neither one, if you ask me. | |
|
| |
| |
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/20/2009 12:18:18 PM | #1If you found them your looking.......
so then it is not an accident so either your looking for someone else or your checking up on your bf. Either way you are obviously not happy. If you are looking for yourself than what do you care?
If you are looking because you want to see if he is here than you have trust issues that can not be addressed simply by finding evidence . If you were paying attention to your gut it is telling you 1 your unhappy or 2 you feel distrustful of this person and you are unhappy either way clear the air up close and personal and if you can not tell when your spouse is lying to you then you need to pay more attention to them.
or
It could be that they like to post on forums...... and are not really looking. | |
|
| I Accidentally Found My Bf/Gf On A Dating Site
Posted: 7/20/2009 12:40:24 PM | I accidentally found my friends boyfriend she had been seeing for over 2 years, on another site! I was soooo shocked i didnt know what to do. He even had a pic on the site she had taken on their last holiday. It also said he had been active within the last 24 hours!!
I had no choice but to tell her as i couldnt live with myself if i didnt, i was shaking & felt sick to the stomach as i could feel her hurt. When she confronted him he made out it was an old account that he had fogotten about & that i must have been mistaken in that he had been on it within the last 24hrs, it was the 1st profile that came up so i knew he had been & the pic had only been taken 4 months before!!!
Needless to say the relationship didnt last long after that because she didnt trust him anymore, as she had found out he had taken 4 women out on dates as well!!
WTF!! | |
|
| |
| |
Home
login 
