| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/8/2009 5:52:15 PM | Why do some of you feel the need to come into the forums to whine about your latest disastrous date with a PoF member or maybe non-member? Since anyone can see your last five topic threads, wouldn't you be embarrassed, especially if you were thread starter. What if the next guy/girl who is the real deal read your profile and went on to read what you did last night or last week with some guy, that now he doesn't call and has dumped you? Shouldn't we all present ourselves in the best light possible? I know I wouldn't e-mail, much less date a guy who posts about a woman having a smelly coochie. If a guy like that can come into these forums and post that crap about his latest date whose to say he wouldn't post something equally as bad about me EVEN if he does name me since that's against the rules.
Thoughts? | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:10:05 PM |
Why do some of you feel the need to come into the forums to whine about your latest disastrous date with a PoF member or maybe non-member?
Because their friends and family said they were sick of hearing it? And the person isn't sick of doing it?
Because they don't have any friends and think the forums are a social connection so why not use it?
Because they aren't whining they are playing forum posters to see who answers how they want them to?
Because some people just aren't very smart and really really need the information and don't know how else to get it?
Because some people don't want to spring for a doctor to answer their questions?
Because they have the time?
Because they are still on dial up and the porn hasn't quite finished downloading on their minimized tab?
Because not enough people come on to whine about the whiners?
Shouldn't we all present ourselves in the best light possible?
The only way to really accomplish that is by not posting anything to the forums at all, isn't it? | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:34:02 PM | People have fun in the forums.
People vent in the forums.
People ask foolish questions in the forums.
People get picked on in the forums.
Half of the people up here don't portray themselves in real life the way they do in the profiles that they have up. So who really cares what other people see on your profile when they are reading your last 5 posts? Can you imagine what they must be thinking when they click on to your history? If I have an opinion about something, I am going to say what is on my mind and I wouldn't care who sees me as what when they click onto my profile. If they don't like it, the best thing that they did was keep it moving. Wouldn't want to be with a person who couldn't respect my right to speech. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/8/2009 6:35:53 PM | | It's always good to share opinions about topics, but not about disastrous dates that turned out to be something other than they thought. You can still be viewed in a good light and still be in the forums, imo. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:28:59 PM | I had someone accuse me of whining in a thread I started but the criticism was completely off base.
Everybody here is single and trying to find that special someone, and it's HARD.
Sure, it's quite possible to make a fool of yourself here. It's also possible for others to target you and make a fool out of you, just for sh**s and giggles. It is the internet after all and trolls are always lurking.
On the other hand....I've gotten some really good advice here. It's great to see what others think about certain situations.
You're right, discretion is a good thing. I dono. In a way, I used to think the way that you do. I really don't care anymore. I mean, you either like me or you don't. If you want to read my posts after checking my profile, cool. What difference does it make? Will it make or break the "great love" of my life? I seriously doubt it.
To tell you the truth...I don't believe that I will find a woman online. It's too hard. I'm not ruling it out but whatever. I'm not tripping about it. There's something about meeting in the flesh...the energy of eye contact...the scent...the unconscious DNA calculations/matchups that happen in milliseconds...a soft smile....none of that transfers here.
But I'm not ranting about smelly cooch. I agree with you, that's simply stupid. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:54:37 PM |
I know I wouldn't e-mail, much less date a guy who posts about a woman having a smelly coochie. If a guy like that can come into these forums and post that crap about his latest date who's [sic] to say he wouldn't post something equally as bad about me EVEN if he doesn't [sic] name me since that's against the rules.
So then OP, I suppose I should only contact those who haven't been discussed (albeit unnamed) in the forums as they, are the only ones without smelly coochies?
*really confused*
Shouldn't we all present ourselves in the best light possible?
Well yes...that's what I always thought. But someone presenting themselves with a smelly coochie, doesn't quite fit that mold, do they? Or, am I missing something here?
OHHH, you meant on their PROFILE...ahhh, okay, gotcha.
OP, if someone is so friggin picky as to pick apart my profile word by word, interest by interest, forum post by forum post, she has already weeded herself out. Nothing I say will lure her back, nor, be intended to. Is that my loss, or hers? What difference does it make in the grand scheme of things?
To your bigger point though...emphatically NO...I am not 'putting my best foot forward' in order to dupe someone into thinking I'm someone I'm not. I am me...faults and all. There are things I'm willing to 'work on' and others are just 'love me as I am'. You won't know which are which [insert 'smelly coochie' symbolism here] until we communicate.
Our profiles are essentially our 'cover letters'...just there to get us to the interview. But, that's JMO.
~ds~ | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:01:27 PM | Ever have that moment when you look around and think " Are these people ef*ed up or is it me?"
Ever have a moment that was right out of the Jerry Springer show and you can't dial your best friend fast enough to tell them about it?
It's the same thing when someone feels the need to dump the dating disaster, we are looking for someone to laugh along, commiserate and de-stress the situation.
To help us realize, yup I met a jackass but there are more good people than jackasses and hopefully I will have better luck next time. Part of the human condition is to share with other people, not just the riaibows and the random acts of kindness, but the train wrecks of dates and fender benders and burned dinners, to find a sympathetic ear that will listen , laugh with us and make us feel connected.
And I am sorry, some of these horror-dates are a freaking scream.
SIDENOTE: Ringo did get a lot of crap thrown at him for no good reason on his post, but like anything else you have to take the good with the bad and he never got bitter. That wasn't about a horror-date but I just thought I'd share. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/8/2009 10:26:40 PM | RingoStarr: To tell you the truth...I don't believe that I will find a woman online. It's too hard. I'm not ruling it out but whatever. I'm not tripping about it. There's something about meeting in the flesh...the energy of eye contact...the scent...the unconscious DNA calculations/matchups that happen in milliseconds...a soft smile....none of that transfers here.
Sometimes I feel the same way. I think the internet (this site and others) give too much choice and while you might meet someone that you like, they inevitably move on because there are so many others out there. People say you can't meet anyone in a bar, but my best friend met her bf in one and they have now been married 10 years and are still happy. Maybe I'll try the Millionaire Matchmaker's advice in her book about going to a sports bar type place during happy hour and bring a book along, have something to eat and see what happens. Actually, come to think of it, I did do that long before I read that book and someone did start talking to me. So it can work -- maybe not the first time. You're right there is nothing like the energy of face to face and eye contact. It's the reason I'm not for endless e-mails and phone chats.
It's the same thing when someone feels the need to dump the dating disaster, we are looking for someone to laugh along, commiserate and de-stress the situation.
Yeah, but sometimes people here can get a bit..er...brutal. Yeah, that's the word. LOL Why in the hell would I want that if I'm already feeling like sh*t.
To help us realize, yup I met a jackass but there are more good people than jackasses and hopefully I will have better luck next time. Part of the human condition is to share with other people, not just the riaibows and the random acts of kindness, but the train wrecks of dates and fender benders and burned dinners, to find a sympathetic ear that will listen , laugh with us and make us feel connected.
There are some good threads that are truly interesting topics. Don't get me wrong. But... I have my RL girlfriends to commiserate with, not a public messageboard. For people don't care about that, knock yourself out. I do get a kick out some of the responses. LMAO That's why I lurk a lot.
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:28:01 AM | I handle crappy attitudes from people 'out in the world' the way I do in the forums so for me, I couldn't care less where my persona of not wearing my heart on my sleeve takes me. If I want to share something, I will. If I don't, then I won't. I am not trying to sway anyone's perception of me to something that I really am not. If I am pissed, I will let you know. If I am feeling good, then you will know that also. The only opinions and advice that mean anything to me is from the people from whom I ask it.
Pretty sure that people know that they have 15 minutes to remove a comment, edit one, or just leave it alone before the window of opportunity closes on them. They are not children who don't know right from wrong----they see what goes on in the forums. So if they post something in the forums and know that it will end up on their profiles and as part of their history, then they do so at their own risk. This is not Romper Room. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:33:49 AM | | I did it because I wanted to see if anyone else had a similar situation. I was bashed big-time, and was called all sorts of names, so I wouldn't do it again. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:16:12 AM | | The bashing here is blood sport. You have a lot of angry unhappy people here who take great pleasure in dealing pain to strangers. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:21:46 AM |
The bashing here is blood sport. You have a lot of angry unhappy people here who take great pleasure in dealing pain to strangers.
Totally. You have to be prepared when starting a topic here. I joined here in May and have never dated via internet prior to this so when I had my first bad experience and posted about it I wasn't prepared for the name calling, etc. I was called a b&tch, a golddigger, a player, a princess....I was like "huh???" lololol | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:17:15 AM | The way I have always looked at it is this way: We all know how to use words, some just better than others.
A good chunk of the original posts are made up to get people going/talking.
No matter what happened on a date, there are always two sides to every story. With any original posts we are only getting one side, some are sincere, some are from people who think not getting everything exactly they way they want it is a reason for a tantrum and every shade of gray in between.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our perspective, our way, our thoughts, that a verbal kick in the pants from a stranger can knock your perspective a bit and maybe see things differently. How we see ourselves and out place in the world is one of the most important things that we carry with us. Sometimes a shoulder shake from a stranger, who has no need to make me feel good about myself like a friend does can make me really question if what I am thinking is the best thing for me.
Most people are just looking for a chorus of strangers to say how right they were, how justified. Even if they aren't right or justified.
Besides it's random strangers, how seriously would you take the thoughts of a random stranger on the street? | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:58:36 AM | we need more re**rds with the iq of a peanut, to jump on every single thread with the word "pity", so it gets sorted.
can we get more re**rds in to help with this please | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:40:21 AM |
The bashing here is blood sport. You have a lot of angry unhappy people here who take great pleasure in dealing pain to strangers.
It is a blood sport around here. I wonder sometimes why people even bother dating if they are so bitter. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:26:32 PM | Shouldn't we all present ourselves in the best light possible? I know I wouldn't e-mail, much less date a guy who posts about a woman having a smelly coochie.
lol, i would find that to be very useful information because if i had my finger poised over the keyboard in a moment of uncertainty, a post like that in a public forum would certainly trip the decision point right over the edge of "no".
ever make a date with guy who seemed interesting & nice? until you met him and found out that he is a total ass? think about it this way: forum postings can save you the trouble of actually having to look at these people at the other end of a table on a date that you can't wait to end. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:30:48 PM |
Thoughts?
Just one more.
Right now (as I type this) there are 110,860 people signed onto this site.
In the last (about an) hour there have been maybe 10-20 new forum threads started.
Just for arguments sake let's assume all of them are "whiners," none are by the same person, and they have never posted before.
So are a few people an hour (out of 100,000) using the forums to vent a big deal?
Isn't that something like .0001 - .0002%?
Personally, I wonder why MORE people don't use the forums to whine about their latest disastrous date. | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:31:31 PM |
ever make a date with woman who seemed interesting & nice?until you met him and found out that she is a total ass?
Oh yes, she was interesting and nice,until I found out she was trying to set me up with her MOTHER 
I'll never live that down | |
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| Why do some feel the need to whine?
Posted: 7/9/2009 4:35:32 PM |
ever make a date with guy who seemed interesting & nice? until you met him and found out that he is a total ass? think about it this way: forum postings can save you the trouble of actually having to look at these people at the other end of a table on a date that you can't wait to end.
Fortunately, I haven't had that experience, but hanging out in here and coming across the random a** that made that comment does help in my decision-making. Thing is, I might not remember who said it. Maybe there should be a folder to stash profiles of people you never want to talk to.  | |
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