| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:30:34 PM | | As I've stated in previous threads under the relationship forum...I'm very inexperienced in the 'dating scene'. So, my question is this....when is it the 'proper'/right time to discuss your sexuality if it's a bonus to who you are but also, a big part of who you are? Will the guy immediately think I'm easy? | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:45:34 PM | | Yes. You shouldn't discuss it until you are positive you want to sleep with this person and are pretty sure he wants the same.. and if he goes out with you more than once he does. | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:46:46 PM | | be more specific... you have had a lot of sex and not many relationships or not much of anything at all... to be honest the majority of us go into a relationship always assuming unless told otherwise that a woman has been with quite a few people. It's not a big deal. keep it to yourself. | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:52:50 PM |
I'm very inexperienced in the 'dating scene'.
There is no "dating scene." A date is two people. That go out. And try to find things to occupy their time. That they both enjoy. That's it. Anything more is your own insecurity.
It's not a scene. It's not a lifestyle. It's not complicated unless you make it complicated.
when is it the 'proper'/right time to discuss your sexuality
When that is what is on your mind and you are able to communicate what is on your mind in a way that you are satisfied with. That you feel conveys the message you want to convey.
If you are worried about how they are going to react, or if it's the right time, then you aren't really dating. You aren't really a person. You are trying to manipulate and control how they see you, and ultimately use them for your own ends.
Otherwise you are just talking.
Will the guy immediately think I'm easy?
Who cares. If he does think it, does that mean you are?
Do you only set your self worth and value by how you fear other people think of you? | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:09:22 PM | No reason to disclose your "number" no matter how big or little it is. Most guys have a "don't ask, don't tell policy about that." Neither of you really should care about it. The past is the past.
Discuss it whenever you are comfortable with the guy and can see yourself with them for a substantial amount of time. That time period is different for everyone.
Good luck! | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:17:37 PM | There really isn't a dating scene it is what you feel comfortable with, I personally will discuss sex doesn't mean I am going to do it nore am I going to brag how many partners I have had or not had...
I also think there is a time and place. I mean if I am getting to the exclusive stage where I am comtemplating Sexual intimacy with him then I am going to be asking some direct questions and well expecting a complete STD test done.
Good luck out here remember to just be who you are no matter what. | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:28:42 PM | I think the best time to talk about it is right now. So go ahead. And type real slow.
Just kidding with you. | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:29:38 PM | LMAO @ rock falls male.... funny.....
for clarification....I'm not referring to the number of men I have or have not slept with........ | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:45:00 AM | ...your pretty damn attractive in my eyes...so when ever you feel comfortable talking about it...im sure the lucky guy wont mind...also theres this odd notion that talking about sex means an immediate desire to engage in said activity...this is true more often than not...but it is not and should not be a given...sex is a topic most everyone enjoy on some level...admitted or not
if the discussion is about kinks and perversions...well getting that out in the open sooner will shorten the time you spend on something that might be a waste of time
if the guy is shy or retricent to talk about...he is nervous...or he is more twisted than you
go with the flow if it feels right...it proably is | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 4:36:24 AM | It is best to be a bit coy when it comes to sexuality. Let the man seduce you, let him think that he is enticing you to explore unblemished new lands, even if for you, they are well trod paths. Don't be afraid to nudge him in the direction you want to go, but be subtle about it.
As for a specific timeline, discuss your sexuality after you have gotten comfortable having sex with him. Give it to him at least a dozen times before you hit him with the big talk. | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:09:08 AM |
Will the guy immediately think I'm easy?
No. But if all you talk about is sex, that's all he'll know about you which may lead him to believe that sex is all you have to offer. If you have more to offer that just sex, and you want more than just sex, then don't let sex dominate your thoughts and discussions. But if you can control your sexual desires, then don't be surprised if that's all you're sought out for. | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:00:41 AM | There is no “right/proper” time to discuss it unless of course you’re looking for FB (Friends with Benefits).
So when do you talk about it? When it simply feels right to do so! You may feel more at ease telling a guy much sooner than another and that’s okay. What’s important for you to rmemeber os to talk about it when it feels right for you. | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:13:19 AM | Well the right time might be when you are comfortable enough with each other to have a meaningful conversation about your sexuality. The wrong time would be something like at the dinner table at his parent’s house when you first meet… lol although that would be memorable
There is no right time, just go with the flow and wait for your comfort level… | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:30:42 AM | | The right time is when you would be glad to have sex should he be interested in what you tell him. If you don't want to have sex with him, don't talk about how you like to have sex. | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:43:27 AM | Kellygurl951:
You've been pretty straight forward and open about your predilections when it comes to sexual relations. Knowing no more than that I would opine that YOU might want to get this subject out in the open as soon as possible. Frankly, a woman like you with your quirks, desires, fetishes(?) might scare a more mainstream man like myself.
Note: I see you've changed your profile -
My answer remains, from your historical posts and former profile, I think you would best be open sooner than later.
TK
{While "[u]special sauce[/u]" on toast may appeal to a significant percentage of the population, there were more that went ick] | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:54:17 AM | | Kellygurl, i know what your talking about and can relate. i would like to post it all here but with all the forum nazis here i dont need the added emails about it. write me if you want to know. | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:59:48 AM | | You know the old saying...talk is cheap.. but boy what it can do to the imagination!! As far as guys thinking you are easy.... some may and some may have fun with it..hard to say. Lots of weirdo's out there | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:19:43 AM | | When your sexuality equals a alternate sexual lifestyle then it is best to address the subject sooner than later. You don't want to be rejected once the relationship is underway - assuming he will reject you. I would think the subject should be addressed on the second or third date. If he thinks your tastes make you easy then he really doesn't understand your lifestyle, does he? | |
|
| Seriously seeking guidance....
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:01:35 AM | | I would wait a few weeks to start talking about this otherwise he might get the wrong impression. | |
|
Home
login 
