| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:13:26 AM | I find it a bit troubling that so many people's profile consist of negative comments and a list of what they don't want in a partner. Let's keep it positive ... perform your dating due diligence ... you are going to have to go out with alot of people to find out anything about them. People are not going to tell you they don't have a car, work at McDonald's, live in a cave, don't do laundry, or torture animals via their profile or email. Spouting off all the negative things out there attracts negativity folks!
Be kind - enjoy the day - there is something nice about each person you meet - have fun on each date and remember - no one can make you have a bad experience unless YOU allow it ... I truly enjoy each meeting and each moment of each day!
Peace. | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:32:19 AM | | Actually, I find that being a jerk gets me about four times as many contacts as being nice ever did. | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:33:29 AM | Spouting off all the negative things out there attracts negativity folks!
So a negative person will have a negative profile.
It's that profile that makes me KNOW they are not the person for me.
What you are pretty much saying is, let the negative people pretend they are positive and everyone will be surprised when we expect to me Mr/Miss Positive and what we get is good old sour puss who thinks the world is out to get them.
A persons profile is a reflection of who they are, if they are a cranky pants I'd like to know that before I invest anytime.
So cranky people, keep it cranky so I don't have to be bothered :) | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:49:35 AM |
torture animals via their profile or email.
Somehow I like this idea. But to torture the animal, does that mean that first you have to teach them how to read?
What if in the process the said animal eats your computer? | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:57:52 AM | | One person's negativity is another person's positive. Besides it does help w/ the filtering process. And some people don't realize what they put on their profile is a negative. What ever. Let the people have their profile in peace! LOL | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:00:11 AM | Yeah! What Abbicci said!!!
It is a great way to sort through the static on this site. Isn't it really quite amazing how much of a persons personality is told via their profiles, no matter the lenght?
Freud would have had a field day! | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:25:57 AM | Though I do agree that too much negativity on a profile isn't a good thing, we have to list at least a few of things we want, and don't want, because it's a good way to weed those that you have no interest in out.
I'm not saying be very negative about it. I happen to find profiles with too many negative "Don't wants" to be a turn off, as well.
I have a few things listed in my profile of what I'm attracted to, and what I'm not looking for.
For example, I listed in my profile that I would prefer men with no kids. I have men with children, hitting me up all of the time.
I also listed that I'm not attracted to skinny guys, but not in those words. I still have skinny dudes hitting me up, as well.
My whole point is that listing what you want, and don't want is not always helpful, nor does it stop people who don't meet your requirements/preferences from messaging you. | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:22:08 AM | If I tell you who I am, what I like, what I believe in, and what turns me on, then:
- You'll know what I am not
- You'll know what I do not like
- You'll know what I don't or cannot believe in
and
have a good idea what does not turn me on.
I cannot be two different things at the same time. I can not believe in two opposing positions. Hence, I prefer to dwell on the positive, without lifting up the negative.
TK | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:23:43 AM | Thanks for all the witty and insightful input ... I was just venting and not sure if anyone would reply ... It's true ... we can filter based on many things ... I'll keep my profile positive as I keep most of my life positive and go from there ... You still don't know much without actually meeting someone and I amke sure I have fun no matter who it is ... there is always something to talk about and everyone has something to offer! I usually make it a one hour coffee date so we can retreat and evaluate ... I haven't been single much so I might not be a good one to comment. My single guy friends LOVE being single and dating everyone they can ... I am sure I will be back in a relationship before long! have fun Fishies!  | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:25:40 AM | I have to agree, there is no point in a negative person pretending they are something they are not. They filter themselves with their negative profiles.
Besides, there is someone for everyone right?  | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:56:43 AM | I have a negative profile. I've been on and off this site for a while and I've found
it really does work (for me) to put out there what I don't like because I've " been there
and done that".
If you see a profile you don't like, there's no need to respond to it...or worry whether
or not that person is getting any responses.
I've actually gotten more positive mail with this profile than I ever did with my other one.
Not sure why people worry about what other people have on their profiles...especially
since it wouldn't occur to them to contact them anyways.
As long as your profile works for YOU...who cares what works for someone else?
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:07:30 AM | | ^^^ I peeked, there's a world of difference between honest and negative. I didn't see anything crazy, negative in your profile. | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 11:17:45 AM |
I find it a bit troubling that so many people's profile consist of negative comments and a list of what they don't want in a partner. Let's keep it positive ... perform your dating due diligence ... you are going to have to go out with alot of people to find out anything about them. People are not going to tell you they don't have a car, work at McDonald's, live in a cave, don't do laundry, or torture animals via their profile or email. Spouting off all the negative things out there attracts negativity folks!
OP -- Rule of thumb...if you don't like it, THEN DON'T LOOK.
If we were all of us these "shiny happy people" you promote, this world wouldn't be worth living in anymore. It'd be the single most boring place in the universe.
So if you are one of those "shiny happy people" and you see something you view as negative...LOOK AWAY then.
 | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 12:44:09 PM |
^^^ I peeked, there's a world of difference between honest and negative. I didn't see anything crazy, negative in your profile.
And trust me, if anyone here knows "crazy, negative" it's abbicci. Whenever I see that Jack in the box commercial "street rat crazy" I always think of abbicci!
... but in a good way! | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:55:22 PM | I am embarassed to say that my dog is under educated and unable to read and write. Therefore, he simply dictates to me and I post for him under my profile. He's quite the pot stirrer, that dog.
Okay, I don't have a dog. | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 4:09:05 PM | I must admit I have been horrified at some peoples profiles.
To say they were men haters is a huge misunderstatement !
If men really are so bad why are they looking for one ? 
So come on girls drop the bitterness and play nicely..... | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 4:30:02 PM | I think it is to a point but I think it's self absorbed to think everyone should have the same positive profile.
Some people are more cynical; especially on the east coast; and some want to make it very clear they they won't tolerate players.
With so many people cheating and being selfish, and with it being even more flaky online, I dont think it's wrong at all.
people are different and no one should say everyone should be a certain way. You have the right not to contact them. Freedom of speech is great; | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:56:40 PM | | I like my negative posting list. It was an empowering and positive experience for me to write it. It is a time-saver blessing. | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:10:52 PM | There are two distinctly different topics: negative tone -- or spin -- which is the hallmark of the glass half empty-pessimistic person -- and prescriptive/proscriptive profiles that outline aspects of peoples' character or lifestyle that are/are not acceptable to the writer and these are legitimate and efficient ways to communicate your needs.
If you are intrinsically negative about life -- that's you -- and playing it like the life of the party or the happy- go-lucky clown isn't really honest -- to be honest.
Listing prescriptive and proscriptive factors is a bit business-like -- so it's a characteristic -- if someone is uncomfortable with that type of characteristic -- it's not every profile writer's moral responsibility to write a profile that is designed to appeal to everyone and make everyone feel like a better person just for having read it.... But if it does that, then they likely should consider a career in literature and writing -- since that's not easy to do. | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:39:51 PM | We all have things we don't want, that doesn't make everyone a "negative" person. Some people just put it out there on their profile for everyone to see. If you're getting tons of e-mails it could definitely "weed out" a lot. However, it could also weed out a lot of good people, as a list of "don't wants" is a turnoff to many people.
What irks me more is the really redundant stuff, like "no liars or cheaters."
I mean, who WANTS a liar or cheater to contact them? can't we just assume that everyone wants to avoid those types? And, why would a liar or cheater not lie about being a liar or cheater anyway? Has anyone ever read that and said "hmm, I lie a lot, I shouldn't contact this person"? | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:54:01 PM | | I really don't care what people write on their profiles. It's a good filtering tool. I know what I'm looking for, what I'm not looking for and what I'm willing to compromize on. I prefer that people are themselves so that I can make an informed decision whether or not we're suited for each other. | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:56:09 PM | blah blah blah...think Ill throw my bra at the cat.  | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/10/2009 5:36:05 PM | Why help them fix it? A fool opens his mouth and allows you to immediately press the back button.
They've provided the best screening tool ever created. I say let them make list! | |
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| Negative Postings
Posted: 7/11/2009 4:44:08 PM |
people are different and no one should say everyone should be a certain way. You have the right not to contact them. Freedom of speech is great;
And SOME people are too young and too far away.  | |
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