| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:26:03 PM | | I’ve been using dating sites for about a year or so now – I’ve met some really interesting people, made great friends and learned a lot about myself in the process. My only issue is that twice, I’ve made plans with someone (two different people) and then the day we’re supposed to meet up said person suddenly stops responding to any form of communication. Both times we had settled on a neutral location (somewhere equidistant to both and public). Both times the OTHER person had initiated the meet. Why does this happen? And, I suppose, more importantly, why would someone not only waste my time but theirs as well? | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:29:44 PM | he found someone higher up on his interest ladder than you.....he was playing the field.....communicating with women......and some girl he was attracted to more than you responded........this is the person he has his sights set on.
it happens everyday. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:34:38 PM | Happens a lot. Can't count the number of people I've chatted with and had them agree meeting would be great.. then when it comes down to finalizing plans, nothing.
My guess is a lot of people come here to get validation. Attention seeking. Reassurance that someone of the opposite sex actually would want to be in their presence, but don't have the courage to go through with it. After all, we are on a dating site.. people who can get dates the normal way don't resort to this. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:06:21 PM | Happens to everyone. Call it cold feet or being lazy?
People talk themselves out of a good time. It's a shame, but it's something to be aware of. Sometimes you eat the bread sticks and.... 30 minutes late, get outta dodge.
My guess is a lot of people come here to get validation. Attention seeking.
Yep. Those threads that start with "am I attractive?" or "I like older guys, help!" seem to only attract pen pals, not dates, and this is may just be satisfactory. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:09:07 PM | | Yes... you may have just filled the void in his schedule until his main interest came around | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:09:44 PM | | There's arrogance, for one thing. Another is like the stupid dog chasing a train with no idea what to do if he catches it. This argues against the notion of meeting ASAP and for more e-mail and talk first. | |
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OKRob
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Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 7 | |
| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:34:09 PM | | I don't know why this happens. I hear about it from time to time. My phone is on 24 hours and I worry that people might worry if I haven't replied. I hear your complaint a reasonable amount. I am not sure why men (or women) would do that :S | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:36:34 PM |
... My only issue is that twice, I’ve made plans with someone (two different people) and then the day we’re supposed to meet up said person suddenly stops responding to any form of communication. Both times we had settled on a neutral location (somewhere equidistant to both and public). Both times the OTHER person had initiated the meet. Why does this happen? And, I suppose, more importantly, why would someone not only waste my time but theirs as well?...
How are complete strangers on a public forum with only limited information from one of the parties involved suppose to know the answer to this?
Sure we could go all Dr. Phil and pull something out of our azzes, but that would be like Dr. Phil and no one wants to appear that dumb.
I’ve been using dating sites for about a year or so now – I’ve met some really interesting people, made great friends and learned a lot about myself in the process...
Yet you want to focus on a couple negative experiences, not a great start. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:44:46 PM | | Its because we have the "doers" and "talkers". Like the saying goes, "You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk". | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 4:00:32 PM | This question has been asked a lot on this forum. It also happens a lot.
Here are some probably scenarios:
1) He has a girlfriend/wife. He enjoyed the flirtation with you, and he wanted to see for himself if he could actually set up a date with another woman. Once he found out he could, then one, he couldn't realistically meet you since he's married or has a girlfriend; and two, now that you tried setting up a date, his work was done, and he didn't want to come right out and tell you he's with someone because then you'd yell at him and call him nasty names.
2) He gets extremely shy and nervous around women.
3) He met someone else online who asked him out first.
Most likely, though, No. 1 is the culprite. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:21:17 PM | As someone else pointed out... because you were #5, 6, 7, etc. and someone higher up the chain showed interest.
Valid point and it does happen, that's the bane of online dating.
Could also be that this person was lying. Perhaps they look nothing like their photo and were just out to have a little social fun... now the bluff's being called and they're all in.
Maybe he choked, although I doubt it unless he is hiding something.
Keep fishing. :) | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:33:01 PM | Everyone is brave behind the keyboard and screen, but when talk turns to action, many head for the hills.
That or like the other posters mention. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:03:36 PM | #1 - You didn't go on a date, so your time was SAVED, not wasted.
#2 - His time was NOT wasted, since he got what he wanted, and left.
#3 - Always have a backup plan. Always. Always. Always.
Accept the responsibility for your own entertainment. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:27:43 PM | | It happens. I think it's because you called their bluff. They were never intending on meeting you anway. I've had this happen to me once. Another time a girl kept saying she just couldn't get right with the idea of meeting someone online. I told her she should get off this webiste then and I never talked to her again. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:43:49 PM | The turds in question where probably married. I have read that a lot and it is a damn shame too. I think their profiles should be deleted, but how are you going to prove it.
Better off to move on. Someone with a good heart will show up.. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:48:26 AM | Why waste your time?
Truthfully I don't think you understand how hard it is to be a man. Women do stuff like this to guys all the time. It's called changing your mind. Does the reason matter, no! There is nothing you can do to change his mind. Get over it. Move on. Concentrate on the positives. There are so many more fish in the sea.
You are not the first person to get stood up or the last. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:03:47 AM | Probably a lot of answers to situations like this, and no one but him really knows, but I think that there are a lot of people on here that just hang on for the games that they can play with other people. They come on here, develop a relationship of sorts, make plans to meet, and you never here from them again. Sometimes these people don't even change their profiles, because they are protected by POF from setting them out. They continue on and on playing the same old games. Anyone that has serious intentions on here is not going to pull the stunt that was twice pulled on you. Heck it may have even been the same person both times. I know that a lot of people in respose to your post are going to tell you that the person just lost interest, meet someone else, or simply changed their mind. This could all be true. The problem is, that when they dropped out of site without any further communication, there is an indication that the person was playing games with you.
BUT, after saying all of that, I also need to say that-that is the chance you take in the on-line dating scene. No guarantees that everyone is going to be legitimate. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/11/2009 3:01:21 AM | | see... it is my belief if a man had posted this, there wouldnt even be two posts here, simply some women laughing at him, because it form part of your prerogative. Don't get me wrong, i'm sure your a wonderful lady, and nobody deserves this shit, just bear this in mind when or if you leave some poor schlep standing on a street corner. not that you would. rant over. | |
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| Why waste my time AND yours?
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:02:39 AM | | At least you've gone much further than me if that makes you feel better. I'm no where near that point, but now I know flaking is one thing to expect. | |
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