| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 1:47:50 PM | | I mean, why is it that a guy can start talking to you and telling you there secrets and then the next week they clam up and act like jerks to you and never talk to you again? I don't get it, is it the woman or just the guy? | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 2:07:35 PM |
Why do guys get close and then pull away?
It prolongs the experience so everyone gets off at the same time
I mean, why is it that a guy can start talking to you and telling you there secrets and then the next week they clam up and act like jerks to you and never talk to you again?
Infinite reasons OP..maybe their a CIA opperative and fear you know too much already, they could have been drunk and now have sobered up regretting what they said, some form of mental illness...and countless other possibilities...but most likely they might feel bad for talking too much or some kind of intimacy/relationship issue which may be fine but being a jerk...not so good and maybe a reason to keep moving.
Either way good luck OP
JMHO
MAPT | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 2:46:24 PM | It's a theory of communication called "The Busrider Syndrome".
An individual will share personal secrets about themselves with a stranger on a bus ride or on a plane that they would not tell those close to them.
Why? They never plan to see that person again. Who cares if they judge them or think less of them?
If a guy does this, he's bending your ear. Using you as a backstop. Probably not serious about getting closer to you. | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 4:16:12 PM | | No, I didn't mean that guys that aren't interested pull away. A guy that is interested and says he is, then suddenly pulls away a week later and pretends that he hates you. Sorry I didn't specify that. Guys that act like ***holes for no reason are jerks. And, it was only this one guy. Not over and over. | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 4:20:01 PM | | Does this theory still apply to someone that I have been friends with for over 6 years and never really thought bout sexually before, and then we were both single at the same time and started talking about how we liked each other? | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:41:28 PM | | No, it applies to those you just met. Maybe he was embarrassed. Its certainly what it sounds like. If he just up and started acting funny out of the blue, the problem is probably not with you, in which case, se la vie. | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:25:43 PM | | Sometimes when people first meet there is a front, maybe not intentional but both men and women do it, once things start to ease up and the front dissapears, feellings change. | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:45:01 PM | I hated to have to make a post here considering there is a 21 post limit on this section but.....
I think this is a very very important question and was looking for some insight into the responses. But as usual some have posted useless comments at an attempt at being funny (ha ha). I have been wondering about this for some time. GUYS ARE NOTORIOUS FOR DOING THIS. WHY? If you had such an interest in a woman and thought she was soooo great why do you guys pull away and not want to talk to her anymore? If you find a really good woman with a host of great qualities why do you slink away? Are there so many great woman out here that you feel if you drop her there are a million more? I dont get it!
After looking at hundreds and hundreds of pics and reading profiles, narrowing down a few select guys (or even 1 or 2), if I get to the point of actually going on a date with someone I think feel really lucky! If I spend hours talking on the phone and find that I like their personality as well, their looks and even have chemistry when you finally meet in person --- then why oh why would I want to dissapear after all that?
If I like someone enough to go on even a 2nd date - I really like them. I dont change my mind just like that and NOT like them anymore? This perplexes me about guys. I would think that both the girl and guy would feel very happy that they've finally found someone that has potential. Why throw all that away?????? WhY??????? | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:56:35 PM | ^^^^^^^^^
The answer is obvious. These guys are NOT getting close. They were NEVER close. You were hoping they would get close, and you teased them and thought everything was going to plan, but your plan didn't work. The guy kept on truckin' and went on to the next woman.
He was NEVER close! This is what you have to understand. Okay, he was interested, he took a look, he checked you out, then he left. That's NOT close!
Talk to me when you get engaged. THAT's close. | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:30:23 PM | OP -
Wow, you got some lame @s.$ responses to an honest question. As someone guilty of this, I can tell you my, potentially rationalized, reason. I'll do so by giving you a metaphor...
Imagine you have a diary and you write down some intimate information about yourself. Some things that define you, that you would be uncomfortable with everyone knowing. Diaries aren't supposed to talk to other people, or get mad at you, or get drunk and make fun of you behind your back with her girlfriends. The possibilities are endless...
As a guy, if I give too much away before my comfort level hasn't plateaud at a point up to the task of being okay with divulging as much information as I have, then I get nervous and consider bailing. | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:35:26 PM | | Honestly it can be a number of things. Drama, Over Emotional, Pushy personalities will cause this, but as stated before the dude just lost interest. It happens, bummer, move on. | |
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| Why do guys get close and then pull away?
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:44:10 PM | | Could also be that Men Know that Women Get all "Aww'd" over a Guy Being Honest and Open and yea he tells you everything you want to hear to get to that level that you will feel sorry for him and want to help because Us women are Natural Nurturers we want to help and sooth a distressed man. ALso He will make you feel like you two are so connected and that your his Best friend and he seems to tell you EVERYTHING.So Some men do play on womens emotions to get one thing YES SEX...If he did this and noticed that he wasn't getting what he wanted..OUT The door he went to the Next chick to see if she would fall for it. | |
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