| Good reasons to feel better about getting rejected... Got more?
Posted: 7/9/2009 2:24:02 PM | 1) Getting rejected may finally be evidence that you're no longer aiming too low.
2) A lot of what might feel like rejection is really just another person's lack of relationship readiness, or seriousness -- their ambivalence, disorganization, inconsiderateness, busy-ness, distractedness, or indecisiveness.
3) Getting rejected saves you the potentially far more agonizing trouble of rejecting the other person later on.
4) Single people are single for a reason, and one of the biggest reasons is they tend toward being picky, perfectionistic, unrealistic, and chronically tempted by greener pastures elsewhere.
5) A lot of rejection is generated by people who are just not much liking themselves.
6) Sometimes rejection is really just the way another person reacts to your own apparent half-heartedness, and so, in other words, they may think you were already first to have rejected them.
7) Getting rejected frees up your options.
8) A lot of rejection is handed out by people who are basically afraid.
9) Unconsciously, many people can only experience attraction for potential lovers who are unstable, unhealthy, needy, and basically whacked -- so maybe you just didn’t have it!
10) Getting rejected can be good motivation for self improvement. | |
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| Good reasons to feel better about getting rejected... Got more?
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:32:04 PM |
3) Getting rejected saves you the potentially far more agonizing trouble of rejecting the other person later on.
Remember: Most couples and most marriages break up. So, despite all the romance and "chemistry" (WTF-ever that is), something unforseen and stronger came up. There's no need to feel "rejected," because individuals either match or they don't. And when they don't, you don't want to be one of them. Not twice, anyway. | |
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| Good reasons to feel better about getting rejected... Got more?
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:03:06 PM |
8) A lot of rejection is handed out by people who are basically afraid.
9) Unconsciously, many people can only experience attraction for potential lovers who are unstable, unhealthy, needy, and basically whacked -- so maybe you just didn’t have it!
I've found those 2 be more often the case. There are a lot of damaged people roaming around | |
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| Good reasons to feel better about getting rejected... Got more?
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:03:32 PM | Most of those reasons actually put the other person down, in a sour-grapes kind of way. How about just recognizing that you weren't right for that person and they were honest about it?
Being rejected by someone else isn't a judgment of your character or desirability, and a mature self-aware person ought to be able to accept that rejection without passing judgment on the other person's character or desirability as well.
Just wish them well and move on. | |
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| Good reasons to feel better about getting rejected... Got more?
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:55:38 PM |
4) Single people are single for a reason, and one of the biggest reasons is they tend toward being picky, perfectionistic, unrealistic, and chronically tempted by greener pastures elsewhere.
This one I must disagree with. I am not picky in the slightest, nor a perfectionist or unrealistic...I will accept the dried out weeds over green pastures anytime. | |
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| Good reasons to feel better about getting rejected... Got more?
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:01:01 AM | There's a type of training we do where you bike to the point that everything hurts and you try to keep it there. That is what is called your VO max, or the point where your body goes from aerobic to anaerobic performance. You can't keep it there for long, because it is painful and fatigue, and reduced performance ensues. But why do this? Why endure the pain? Because it increases your performance, it makes you faster, and when you learn to deal with the pain, the pain no longer matters.
So what is rejection? When you get rejected it means that you are doing something. It means that rather than feel shy or finding excuses to do nothing, you are going out there and trying. So rejection requires for YOU to do something. And the more you deal with this type of pain, the more it stops bothering you.
So look at rejection as a success, because in the process you learned something. | |
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| Good reasons to feel better about getting rejected... Got more?
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:27:57 AM |
4) Single people are single for a reason, and one of the biggest reasons is they tend toward being picky, perfectionistic, unrealistic, and chronically tempted by greener pastures elsewhere.
I don't think that this is true at all. Relationships involve two people. Therefore, you could realistic standards, have your life together and be a great, ideal mate but if the people you keep meeting are taken, not interested in you, you don't match what they are looking for or that person has issues it really doesn't matter how great you are; you still will be rejected or the relationship will not work out. You cannot control any of those factors and none of that is your fault. For that reason I believe that rejection has little to do with you and more has to do with the issues that the rejector has. | |
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