| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:35:51 PM | Kinda strange that the best and worst parts of my life involve women, I feel myself sinking further and further into a void and counseling is not helping.
In catholic school I remember the passage "an god created woman for its not right that man should be alone". pandora in greek mythology was created for the same reason. through out human history women have been our strength and downfall from samson and dalilah to sid and nancy.
I am so sick of women charging me up only to reverse the current, I could understand if I changed during the course of a relationship but I dont.
Is it a crime to want someone to spend my life with?
I know one must have hobbies and friends and I have those things but I dont get the same rush as I do with the touch of a special female.
Do women just not have the time for relationships? do they want only to fit said relationships into the thinnest slice or their lifes pie?
are any of you guys fed up as I am? | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:45:16 PM | First of all OP, we women are nothing but a big distraction in life. We will veer you off course. The only time you should even think about being with a woman long term is when you've got a long term relationship with yourself first. Is your house in order? If the answer is yes, then it won't matter what games we women play (unintentionally, of course) because you will always be winning and laughing. A big hug to you and don't hate us, we're just that way! We love you!!! xoxoxoxoxo    | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:46:07 PM | | I know exactly what you mean. My favourite thing to hear these days is I don't want to be hurt....... awwww.... so why did you hurt me...? We just have to stick it out. Theres a woman out there for all of us. Good luck | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:58:14 PM | OP, I use to be fed up, but you get over it. I have surrendered and admitted that I am meant to be alone. Weird, huh? Well, women have completely mistreated me. When a guy gets dumped on his birthday for being too much of a gentlemen. Then the next woman he dates dumps him and says he's too nice. The woman after that dumps him and says that he tries too hard. And finally, the last woman says that he's spending too much time with her child, something's definately wrong.
I now know that I do not need a woman, but would embrace having one. I admit that I am lonely, but that's why we have gyms so we can go and workout until we forget about our problems. Women have evolved and have become self-sufficient. They know that they don't need us, therefore it's harder to find a woman that truly wants a relationship. They also don't believe that any of us are good men and no matter what you say to a woman, she's already heard it, so there's no element of surprise or wonder.
It's not your fault and you shouldn't be upset with women over this. Now let's go have a beer. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:09:31 PM | I have to wonder, if you look as pissed off in your photos, and every single one of them, that perhaps you spend a good portion of the time with other with that same pissed off look.
I have a feeling women try taking you on as a challenge, to perhaps MAKE YOU a happier person, however the reality is they can't MAKE YOU happy, that has to come within...
Did you grow up in an angry family???
I am not trying to trash on you, or piss in your Wheaties, because I used to have a very stern look in my young days, which was not conducive to a good dating history. It would seem by this post that you find women to be the demons to a mans existence, which women can flip the script and say the same thing...
I can tell you if you really look deep into history women very often got the short end of the stick, and after the "feminist movement" which according to one extremely angry LTR said was devised to split families and divide men and women from each other... How true or not true I don't know.
What I do know is this, I was left to raise to little babes on my own as a young woman, and developed a lack of NEEDING a man in my life. Thus when I got married to a MAN who need a woman to provide him a great income, great credit score, good cook, child care for his son, house keeper, gardener, car maintenance et al. I realized I needed to develop a WANT to have a man, and not need one, because the price was very high as to what I gave up trying to MAKE him happy...
This is tough for men, because they are still taught to be the provider, the defender, the fixer. Since the generation of women that were brought into the world at the same time my daughters were, women have learned to take care of themselves. They are encouraged to get educated, and to provide for themselves, they also have learned just as men, they can get a bit o sausage without buying the whole hog, and can be happy doing what they want in the realm of hobbies...
This very well has brought on some pissed off men, because now they have to figure out where their place is, and how women are supposed to be part of their life, when women are busy doing their own thing...
Seems to me, you need to find what makes you a happy person, and then be that happy person. Women are MORE drawn to someone that has a smile, and a positive outlook on life... Women also don't stick around like they used to, because they had not other options, this too seems to be a sore spot for men... Now men are having to be someone that women enjoy being around, and spending their time with...
My ex ltr learned the hard way, that he MAY have to change, and demanding women around isn't the way to keep a good woman in his life... Sadly I was more of the door mat GF, and he booted me for some hard core biker chick that took everything she possible could, then dropped him for a BBD... After his probation of no contact for beating me, and cracking my wrist was over, he looked me up and actually apologized...
OP, you can gather all the men you want to share your unhappy stories, and misery of how women are nothing more than Biotches, BUT are you going to find happiness in doing this??? Once again it leaves YOU and these guys alone, and the reality is YOU are wanting a woman in your life...
I personally am in a relationship with someone I met off here a year ago this mo. We are making a full commitment to each other in Sept, thus sealing the deal. He has his moody days, and can mope around the house, and be pissy at everyone. I used to get up set, and worried about his mood, now I just let him be in his mood, and sometimes I get out of the house if his mood is extremely fowl... generally he changes, and lets go of what ever it is that is bothering him...
It is a give and take, I have crappy days as well, and have to apologize if I get snippy with him. We talk things out, and the only way each of us can know what is bothering the other to communicate with the other, in a respectful non accusative way. It gets challenging at times for him, because he sees things as strictly black and white, while I see things in shades of gray... What makes it work is that we both allow the other to be who they are, unless it negatively affects the other partner, and the relationship as a whole...
You can do one of two things, become totally bitter at women, and end up a bitter OLD man, still not having what you really want, OR learn to be happy and find someone that is willing to GROW WITH YOU as YOU ARE willing to grow with her...
A pity party of hate on women certainly won't gain you what you want... | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:39:13 PM | yeah well guys are dickheads too.
They, like women change thier minds too. They also sabotage your happiness
and change the tides and all that other good stuff that we do too.
Maybe like me, you are picking the wrong women to have relationships with-
Assclown and unavailable in either sex is very very real in life.
Unfortunately they dont decide this until your knee deep in the relationship.
If I told you it wasnt you would you believe me? If I told you it was them and
they are the ones who dont want to contribute -
love
communicate
be emotionally available to you
care
empathize
recognize someone elses needs other than thier own
be trustworthy in the relationship
rely on them
having to deliver on the words that come out of thier mouths
expecting to be needed
be committed
- would you believe me that there are people out there who are
not rejecting YOU but are rejecting these basic things that are needed in a relationship?
They are unavailable for a relationship - its not you. Its the women you are
picking to have relationships with.
Its not about YOU - they dont want this with anyone. Make better choices.
Sometimes we want something so bad we ignore the basic red flags that pretty
much fly from the beginning of the dance. Its your choice to dance the dance
or not. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:54:31 PM | You make a good point, in these days us men serve no purpose, and to quote from my favorite group of movies.
There is no escaping reason, no denying purpose, because as we both know, without purpose, we would not exist.
It is purpose that created us. Purpose that connects us. Purpose that pulls us, that guides us, that drive us. It is purpose that defines, purpose that binds us.
If I am not wanted or needed what purpose to I serve, While to be loved for who I am is the greatest purpose for there is only one me and thus irreplaceable.
If I quit my job tomorrow there would be another guy out there day after tomorrow for a job does not mourn your passing.
my hobbies will not mourn my passing.
and as far as if I grew up in a happy home, my parents have been married for over 50 years after knowing each other a month when they married. and I think I have seen them argue twice in the 18 years I lived in their home. They have shown me through example the type of relationship I want.
I dont wish to be a walking ATM but I do wish to be that person who a woman enjoys talking to and spending time with, not that person being penciled in a few times a week.
or who gets that rare call once in a blue moon. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:11:53 PM | | OP I understand you completely. It sucks knowing that you, yourself is the kind of guy that is a good hearted person that cares for a woman and yet wanting to share it with someone and not getting a response back hurts. I have nothing against women, but when they say something like looking for a sweet guy that loves kids and cares enough to want to be in a relationship in their profile or saying somewhere in their profile to email them if you wanted to know more about them and they don't reply just doesn't make any sense. Just be patient man, thats something I've already learned in the short amount of time that I've been here. Best of luck to you. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:20:36 PM | Hi OP
I'm really sorry that you feel that way but I do wonder if you are dating the wrong kind of women too.
Sure you've been hurt and let down but trust me there are just as many women out there saying the exact same thing.
As for some not responding to emails it could be for many reasons and doesn't have to be anything personal. I often don't respond to people as they just don't seem my type or perhaps I'm already conversing with someone that I find more interesting.
All I can say is chin up and when the time is right you will find each other.
Good Luck | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:39:38 PM | | It is very wrong to not respond to another person's email, no matter how interested or not you are, or how busy you are. If someone takes the time to write, you really need to write back. Just because your mom didn't teach you manners doesn't mean you can't learn them now. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 7:59:05 PM | Wow! It is so obvious in the profile pics that you have up that you are not happy. I wonder if your hatred is for all women or just the ones on pof? Because if it is pof alone, then you get what you pay for. This site is free and there are hundreds of women that you haven't seen yet and other women out in the world.
There is another option........ | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:54:49 PM | actually I am not much of a smiler but my friends and lovers(while in that state) see me smile.
I dont smile much in photos because I look goofy when smiling. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 8:59:42 PM | Perhaps finding your smile, and then looking for that woman that wants what you have to offer TO A RELATIONSHIP, not what you have to offer financially...
I was off and on the dating internet for 8 yrs. That is a long time to be searching for that one connection that works and make life just a little more happy, a little more challenging, and a little more full on worth while...
If you give up, then find that person who WANTS you, and appreciates the YOU you are, you won't find her hating on women.... | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:10:30 PM | I'm not used to seeing a man post this type of sentiment. Usually it seems to be the women bemoaning their dismay toward the opposite sex. I myself feel the same way toward men, except that I don't hate them, I'm just done with them for now. Unfortunately it's our bad relationship experiences that make us feel this way, which pretty much can turn us off all together on the ideas of soul mates, true love, etc.
I'm not saying I will never take another shot at a relationship, and I know that not all men are the same, but for now I'm just concentrating on happiness and contentment for me and my family. Perhaps you should do the same, and not dwell on the past which can't be changed, and not stereo type all women into the same category as those females with which you have had such negative experiences with. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 9:15:46 PM | I can relate to you very much. Its not so much women as it is people. I find people in western society to be very self centered. Many people are only in a relationship or want a relationship cause they think it makes them happy. If I am lonely and in misery with my life, being with a girl wont make things better. Misery loves company. I have been in many messed up relationships because I was messed up and lonely. Now that I have my life in order and truely love myself I can pass that on into a relationship. Co-dependancy is another issue. I met this girl from this site and after seeing her for about a week she told me she was crazy for me. She only freakin met me and here she is saying that she is crazy for me? That totally freaked me out and I was outta there.
All and all there are good ones out there and bad ones. We just have to pick out the weeds till we find a flower! | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:55:16 PM | It is strange how many men and women have the same problem... men want relationships and find deadbeat women, women want relationships and find the deadbeat men. So many people out there want the same thing...to feel needed, to have someone to love.
I have thought about that line in the Bible often... God created women for it is not right to be alone...so where is my "Adam" she says shrugging her shoulders.
I have decided that this verse must not be for everyone...God does not intend for all of us to have a partner, not sure how He chooses but He does. SO I have decided that I will try to be content to be alone, enjoy my friends and family and NOT wish for what will not happen.
Because divorce is so easy to get, and so common that unfortunately a lot of people go into marriage thinking that if it don't work out we can just divorce. Than women are left on their own to work, pay all the bills and raise the kids...this causes them to be able to handle life and not NEED a man (and I am sure the same goes for the men) so yea...I don't NEED a man in my life but I would like one. Would be really hard to live with someone though, I am now used to being on my own and cooking dinner only when I want, sleeping with the TV on if I want, and sleeping in the middle of the bed :)
btw.. I agree with a few others... you need to smile a little more.
jmo | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:48:38 AM | | If You act like a doormat, then You`ll get treated like one !!! ( no offence meant mate ). No woman really desires a doormat, only for utility. Women should also note. As for Your profile the huffy shots don`t come across well, but the smiling thing -sometimes it is nicer to have a rare fleeting one . | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:40:16 AM | Hahahahahaha....oh i love whats going on now!!!!
Woman no longer need us !!!............they want us!!!.........you got to jump up and down about that,we know have a choice of real partnership!!
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/10/2009 5:56:48 AM | Well I'm sure you input was great appreciated by the OP. My mother taught me if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.
I'm sure you have lots of fun replying to up to twenty guys a night who send such endearing statements like "you wanna date wiv me" or "I like looking at u", so please carry on being polite, get them interested and then back out because you never were. Good luck with that because men love to be led on.
I've actually spoken with male friends about this and they would rather have no response than to be led up a path where they will just be wasting their time. Some girls are happy to talk to many many men but I'm not one of them and I'd rather have no reply than "sorry your just not my type".
OP when you do email someone please put some effort in its good for your personality to shine through and like I said before try not to take a non response personally. Every person is different and the right kind of girl who will email back will show a genuine interest in you. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:01:38 AM | | After many such experiences i can tell you the problem is that they enter the relationship seeing you as a good candidate that they can mold and turn into the man they want you to be. Once they realize you aren`t going to change for them you become undesirable and they will tell their friends "he turned out to be an ***hole" when all you did was be the man you said you were. Also ignore the if you can`t say something nice say nothing at all routine because then you`ll be accused of keeping secrets and not communicating. You`ll be your happiest if you stay single and just have several female friends that share your interests in a variety of activities. one for the movies, one for the beach, one for a fav TV show, one as a intellectual and so on. you can`t have it all in one woman plus you save the price of the divorce. Remember, in a divorve if it`s her fault she gets half and if it`s your fault she gets it all. No i`m not bitter from divorce myself i`m just observant. good luck my friend | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:58:54 PM | I've actually spoken with male friends about this and they would rather have no response than to be led up a path where they will just be wasting their time.
This I find hard to believe, I'm not saying that I don't believe that you've spoken to your male friends about this, but rather them have no response. Alot of women want a guy to come up to them, an introduce themselves. Shows confidents. I however do agree that some may be wasting their time, but in the same sense I would rather be wasting my time trying to find that someone than to do nothing about it than to be alone for the rest of my life. I mean, your "replying" to these forums reading other peoples post. Whats so different about email/mail between two people?
Some girls are happy to talk to many many men but I'm not one of them and I'd rather have no reply than "sorry your just not my type".
Even if you showed a slight bit of interest...? I mean how does one expect to meet people if they get no replies? Good looks? lol
Woman: Hi Greg how was your day?
Guy: .....
Woman : Greg? You there?
Guy: ...... (click)
Woman: (redials number)
Guy: (Phone has been disconnected)
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:02:47 PM | | IMO women these days are a new breed. They are independent, and sophisticated. The really nice ones are in high demand, and can find whatever they want when they want... And some don't want to be clingy with one person. Lets say you were like Brad Pitt, and all these women were giving you attention. You would probably do the same? I might. I found that lowering my standards keeps me from being disappointed! jk. | |
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| Starting to hate women........
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:22:48 PM | People really are bitter on this forum.
We've all had bad relationship experiences some more than others.
I cannot tell you the amount of awful relationship stories myself and my girlfriends have been through. So what i'm saying is that perhaps we should all grow up a bit and realise that we are all individuals and that not all women are like that and not all men are like this etc...
There are some stereotypes of course, men who are players, women who are money grabbers but at the end of the day you have to learn to know yourself and know what you find acceptable for a relationship. Take control of your own happiness. A partner can enrich your life but they shouldnt' be your life. And if they are not making you happy and there is no way to reconciliate then move on.
You'll find someone OP, when the time is right... | |
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