| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 12:12:45 AM | | i lied to my girlfriend about drinking and getting into i fight i lied to her a few times before but not about anything big.we had plans to get married and have kids.i told her i would never lie to her again.now she said she doesnt love me anymore and broke up with me.she is the love of my life and the woman of my dreams.what should i do? | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 12:24:18 AM | That is BS in my book. Everyone pretty much deserves a second chance. The issue is that you have to work for that trust to return. It is not always possible but if she really is what you want. Tell her you screwed up and see that and are willing to do what it takes to get back on track.
That beign said, why lie if she is your soulmate? Did you feel you would be judged based on whatever action you felt the need to lie about?
Most of the time people lie b/c of three basic reasons: they want t impress or they are afraid b/c of past experiences and being shut out or they are pathologial.
Which are you? | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 12:37:39 AM | Love isnt something that is turned on and off like a light switch, so by her saying that I will assume she is fairly young. You on the other hand need to stop fuking around with the drinkin and fightin, because that is showing your immaturity.
I am not sure how soon you were planning on marrying, but you two are no where close to being ready. Especially since you still have a profile up on a dating site. Does she know about that? | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:05:02 AM | From your own admission in your post, this wasn't the first thing you lied about to her.
Whether the other things were little or big, you've given her reason to believe you wouldn't be trustworthy enough to start a family with.
There could also be deeper issues with your relationship - namely, why did you feel you needed to lie to her about the drinking and the fight? I'm sure if you really think about that, you might find either you two aren't compatible in the long run, or you have some things with yourself to work out before marrying and starting a family
Just my two cents. | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:12:28 AM | | well...a relationship is built on trust, & i know that if my bf lied 2 me more than once, even if he apologized it 2 death, i would still feel hurt & left out! i don't believe i would stop loving him, i would try 2 work it out, but if it continued, it would be over in a heartbeat! | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:23:16 AM | Trust is earned over a lifetime and lost in a second. Once you lose a person's trust, it can take a very long time to regain it. So, you have two choice as I see it. 1. Cut your losses, go out and grow up to be a man...learning from this mistake so that in your next relationship you are a good, honest, and honerable man. or 2. Get busy, learn from your mistakes very quickly and start working to regain this girl's trust and respect, knowing that these gifts must be freely given, not something you can demand.
You have a good start sir. It takes a strong soul to admit the error. May you have the strength and perseverance to use your mistakes as growing and learning experiences.
I wish you the very best. | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:11:48 AM | | Women easily forgive a man who owns up to being stupid. They don't easily forgive a man who lies. All you can do is tell your girlfriend you realise you've been really stupid, you understand that she can't trust you any more. You're not going to hassle her and will leave it up to her to contact you if she wants to. And here's the hard part. Take yourself off this site and don't date other women. If she really is the woman of your dreams, you don't need or want anyone else. Or is that another lie? | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:17:46 AM |
what should i do?
^ Re-evaluate your behavior. Your g/f didn't break-up with you because you told a few lies ~ she cut the chord because your lack of self-control/character was called into question. Perhaps you have some growing up to do.. take this time to learn from your mistakes. | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:35:03 AM | Some lies make you completely reassess your opinion of the person. That's unavoidable. Suppose she had 3 kids from previous relationships and pretended I had none. Don't you think that discovering that lie would make you revise your opinion of her. When your perception of a person changes, so, sometimes do your feelings towards them. You lied about some very significant things: violence and alcohol.
I don't blame her at all for her reaction. No sane woman wants to risk marriage with someone with alcohol or violence problems -- let alone one whom has repeatedly proved himself to be deceptive towards her. | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:43:48 AM | You lied once? Got caught once?
You maybe talk a bit about honesty more than you practice it. (profile heading)
I don't know you, she does.
So therefore can't judge for myself if this is just one of many questions she has about you.
You may be forgiven, but that doesn't mean you have earned trust.
Big difference.
You have to prove yourself, stay home and out of trouble.
Communicate.
You drink and fight....Hmmmmmmmmm | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:21:35 AM | | You've lied to her more than once. She is probably wondering what else you've lied about or are lying about. That's what happens when trust evaporates - the other person sees in a new light, almost like you're a stranger. They no longer think you are who they thought you were. | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:36:21 AM | You lied to her a few times..."but not about anything big?"
Sorry baby but drinking and fighting ARE BIG. Both show a lack of self-control and quite honestly as a woman...if my guy was drinking that much, I'd wonder how we were going to make it as a couple down the road. Alcoholism is EXPENSIVE. And the fighting? She's worried that at one point she might be the one receiving a punch...cause it can happen.
She probably still loves you but as another poster said, your behaviors have given her something to consider...do I want a man who'll lie to me about these things as my husband? And if he lied about this, what else did he lie about?
What should you do? Clean your ass up, get some counseling if you need it and work on yourself. Show her that you are able to be an adult who doesn't have to drink and fight his way through life. If you can't do that then you will have lost her.
Sure, as another woman said, people deserve 2nd chances...but sounds to me like you've gotten those and still screwed up. Time to work on yourself and try something different and positive my friend! | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:23:52 AM | | You lied because you didn't want her to think you were stupid? Which is worse? The woman you love thinking you're "stupid" or thinking you're a "liar"? I would suggest that you get your head together and cut out the drinking/fighting and take a good look at yourself, why you feel the need to lie. Once you start living honestly things will go a lot better for you and you won't have to come on POF asking strangers if we would forgive our boyfriends if they lied. | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:41:08 AM | | Well I think one deserves a second chance as no one is perfect. It's better to tell the truth though no matter how ugly it is. Tell one lie and then you need a bunch more to cover it up. So yes, I say she should give you another chance. | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:47:51 AM |
we had plans to get married and have kids.i told her i would never lie to her again.now she said she doesnt love me anymore and broke up with me.she is the love of my life and the woman of my dreams.what should i do?
Well since she really isn't the love of your life since she doesn't reciprocate, I'd say move on. | |
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:20:38 AM | I would drop the guilt.
Guys lie sometimes about drinking and fighting. If a lady can't handle that, then fine walk. That's one of the things we do. Man up.
"Do you promise never to lie to me?"
"Yes I promise, because we live in fantasy land"
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| would you forgive your boyfriend if he lied
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:56:04 AM | Maybe she lied and said she didn't love you as a way to get you to go away.
But then again you say this wasn't the first lie, and you have proven to be untrustworthy in her eyes.
Plus anyone who gets drunk and fights, is very immature, and doesn't really need to be around children. What if you got drunk and angry around them???
The fact that you haven't gotten over this love of your life, yet are now on a dating site....come on....are you telling us a lie as well??? | |
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