| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:05:27 AM | Just like it says... what age would you consider getting your child a cell phone?
I've never felt the need for my oldest to have one until recent events. The child in question will be 12 next weekend. I'm thinking of getting a basic pay as you go plan, nothing fancy, just the ability to make a call in case of emergency. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:46:38 AM | I know teens today who stay awake into the wee hours texting, who carry their phones around all day texting, who sleep with their phones. Who consider it the worst of all punishments to have their cell phones taken away.
This is copied from the book, 'Have a New Kid by Friday' by Dr. Kevin Leman:
'Cell Phones
'But Dad, all my friends have them.'
'When Jason started playing football in junior high, we got him a cell phone. That way I knew I could work in the office until he called me from the locker room to say he was done. By the time he took a shower, I was there to pick him up.'
Cell phone or no cell phone? At what age should you consider getting a child a phone?
You see it everywhere these days: kids walking down the street and even into school, talking on their cell phones. The other day I walked into my daughter's school and saw a first grader talking on a cell phone . . . and it wasn't a pretend one either.
When our daughter Lauren was 14, she really wanted a cell phone. All her friends had one. So Sande cut her a deal that she's get one for her birthday in the summer if she continued to do well at school.
I'm not crazy about younger children having cell phones. Children don't need them and can't use them during school (at least in most schools). Yet 6- and 8-year-olds have them. That's crazy! In most cases it's only a vanity thing ('hey, look at me'). In my book, children should be at least 15 years of age - close to getting a driver's permit or license - before considering getting them a cell phone. On the other hand, if my son or daughter was driving a vehicle or out by himself or herself, I'd be the first one in line to buy a cell phone for safety reasons.
If your child begs for a cell phone, consider these things:
1. Does she really need a cell phone to contact you? Or is it just to be 'cool'?
2. How responsible is your child? Will she keep track of the cell phone or leave it somewhere?
3. Who is going to pay for the cell phone? If it's your child's, she should pay not only for the cell phone itself (that will tell you how badly she wants it, if it has to come out of 'her' money) but also the monthly bill when she racks up too many charges texting her friends. If she needs to call you, you could pay for the flat rate but never for any charges beyond that. If she doesn't pay the bill, the cell phone is discontinued.
4. Having a cell phone encourages even more telephone time with friends. Is your child doing well in school? Is she getting her homework done? Is he a responsible family member, helping out when things are needed?
A cell phone should be a perk, not a given. With it comes extra responsibility.' | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:53:57 AM | | I think that a cell phone with restrictions, like the firefly, is great for children, even young ones. It can be controlled to be used for emergencies, and has a list of numbers it is allowed to make and receive calls from. If you are considering one without any restriction, I agree with the above post that it should be their responsibility to pay for the phone, and they should really be old enough to be learning about money management. It's a good way to teach them about paying bills. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:59:19 AM | Now, this from my own experience .. adolescents stay awake into the wee hours texting each other. They walk around all day texting each other. It's mindless, time-consuming chatter that distracts from developing more lasting interests and hobbies.
I'd suggest if you decide to get the phone for safety reasons, that you keep control of the phone and give it to your daughter on those times she will need it. It also needs to be taken at night. Children learn quickly to delete. You counter by learning early on how to check online for the times of calls and text messages so you can forbid and monitor deletions.
The man in my life has three teenagers each with a wealth of friends. Teens and pre-teens sneak their phones into school and take extra bathroom exits to text each other, they use texting to cheat on tests, they text on the bus ride to and from school, they stay awake at night, every night, until 3-5 am texting each other. They sleep with their phones 'just incase someone texts them in the middle of the night' .. and yes, their friends will. They begin texting again as early as 5-6 am the next morning. They want to sleep until noon or 4pm. They're exhausted. They consider their phone their most precious possession. This out of their own mouths about their friends (and from their own behaviors before the rug was yanked out from under them on the matter.)
If you do get a phone, establish rules beforehand, keep control of the phone until your child is old enough and mature enough not to become obsessive about texting as a primary lifestyle activity. If you have any cause at all to wonder if you're ready for this, I highly recommend the book mentioned in my previous post. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:18:05 AM | Both my kids have cell phones. They are 10 & 14. The 10 yr old only carries it when he may need it otherwise it stays home so it doesn't get lost, stolen, dropped in a puddle. The 14 yr old has a need for it as she's out and about more and we can keep in touch. Does she text? Absolutely. But not 24/7.
Sometimes I'm guilty of texting her from downstairs. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:24:13 AM | My son is 7 and has a cell phone. His mother and I aren't together and niether of us have a landline phone. I wanted him as she forgets to keep her phone charged.
His plan is pre-paid in 60 min increments. He can't text (not that he could anyway) and it stays in the bag he uses when he comes to stay with me. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:33:34 AM | I have cell phones for both. They are almost 12 and 14. When they were getting off the bus by themselves and at various school sporting events it's a nice way to stay in touch via text or actual phone call. My soon to be 12 year old does not use it much, however, my 14 year old does. It becomes a nice bargaining tool and punishment for bad behavior...it's like losing a limb for them.
It's relatively inexpensive for me as I have a corporate discounts. If I did not have a decent plan I'm not sure what I would do.
Overall providing cell phones to my kids has been a postitive experience. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:36:53 AM | Yup... I agree. In this case it would only be in ONE situation that the phone would even be in the posession of my child. Otherwise it will be in my control.
When my child is out in the neighborhood playing with friends or whatever, we have walkie-talkies that are used.
I'm not sure that the plan I'm looking at will include for text messages or not, I guess I was just kind of trying to find out what other parents thought about it. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:26:03 AM | | I have one of those pre-paid cell phones so my girls/mother can reach me in an emergency if I'm out of pocket or I have a way to communicate if my breaks down. When my daughters go somewhere it is in a group and at least one of those persons will have a cell phone so my daughters are able to reach me and vice versa. I didn't feel the need for any of my daughters to have a cell until one went of to college. I got her a pre-paid cell also. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:04:00 AM | my daughter is 12 now, and she had one for when she started high school, (aged 11) as she has tro walk to and from school, and she attends different afterschool clubs.
set some rules, initially my daughter didnt have it with her at bedtime, she would hand it in to me before she went to bed.
i have a half contract/half prepay set up, she gets a set amount of minutes and texts each month, when these have been used, she has to top it up with credit. failsafe for me, so i dont have a bill for more than the £5 a month im contracted to.
I can also (as it is in my name) go online, and see what numbers, times and durations, (in the case of calls) she is calling and texting so i can keep track of who she is in contact with.
best to be safe than sorry, and i always go for a low range model incase there are any would be thieves out there!! | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:29:55 AM | I personally dislike cell phones. I see them being used in rude and inappropriate ways, like while driving, or while using a public toilet.
My 17 year old has one because his father got it for him. Why? I don't know, but he runs up the minutes! I have a land line which he is free to use, but he never uses it.He sleeps with his phone, and is very secretive about it. It's stupid he has one. I can't call him at school, I use the land line when he's at his dad's.
My 5 year old's father wanted to get him a cell phone for his birthday, I found that ridiculous. When does a kindergartner need a cell phone?
The pay as you is ok, I have one. The sound quality is horrible though. Echoy and cuts off frequently. Text is available on my plan, but very expensive to send one. The customer service is in India(I think), and was useless for any questions I've had. Also think about if you want her to have a camera. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:36:14 AM | | When my son hit high school, I got him a phone so he could reach me and I could reach him when necessary. He was more independent at that age and has earned a high degree of freedom should he choose to exercise it. He uses maybe 20 minutes a month and does no texting (although he could). If he was abusing the phone...I would rethink who should be paying for that phone but he is not so I am still paying the bill. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:37:27 AM | My daughter is 11 and she has a cell phone. I like it, because I can always get a hold of her, and she can always call me.
If your child is texting late at night, all you have to do is take the phone into your bedroom for the night. Leave the charger somewhere other than the child's bedroom. I still read to my child every night, so I know when she is sound asleep. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 11:37:06 AM | I can almost understand from the aspect of if my child was involved in after school programs or what not, but I cant help but think " Cell phones werent around when I was in school" and I got along fine without one. Also, I can almost understand wanting to get a child one when they are at the other parent's house, but again, I think "I grew up with divorced parents and if I was at my dad's and wanted to talk to my mom, all I had to do was pick up the telephone." If my daughter is in an after school program, more than likely I will know where and when it is and I can make arrangments accordingly. If, by some instance, plans change, she knows my work number and all she has to do is call me from the school phone and I will make other arrangements to pick her up.
I am 33 and I got a cell phone when I was 25!!! And I only got one because I was pregnant, dead of winter, and if I was on the road and had an accident or slid off, I could call someone to get me. I know because of my above comment about how I got along fine without a cell phone for so long I should be able to get along without one now. And before cell phones were invented, what did other people do when they slid off the road or got in an accident? And that's true, but cell phones are a luxury and make it easier to get in touch with someone when something happens. While they are a luxury, they also carry responsibility. I know I cant text or use it while I am at work. And I shouldnt text or talk on it while driving, etc. and there are some kids who cant handle the responsibility. They text while at school, not too long ago there was a bad accident that occurred because a teenager was texting and driving!! I was at a family cookout the other day and my 13 year old neice texted her friends the entire time.
My daughter is 8 and I dont feel she needs a cell phone. I may rethink this when she turns 16 and starts driving (and has a job) but for now she is entirely too young to have a cell phone. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 11:46:58 AM |
If your child is texting late at night, all you have to do is take the phone into your bedroom for the night. Leave the charger somewhere other than the child's bedroom. I still read to my child every night, so I know when she is sound asleep.
That is great advice. I will put that in my figurative pocket. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 12:47:11 PM | I have some strong feelings about this. I see kids with cell phones all over the place now. When I was a kid I had a pager...in high school. But a cell phone? My son (10 yo) knew a girl who's mom gave her a cell phone when she was 9. Just her own little cell phone. To me, it's just ridiculous. There is no place my son goes that he can't use the land line or borrow an adult's cell phone.
Bottom line: I've always told him he's not gettin' one until he has a job to pay for it, i.e. 15 or 16 years old.
Even a basic plan scares me because if anyone ever gets ahold of your child's cell phone number they can call in and talk to your child without you ever knowing about it. I personally like knowing who my son is talking to. My son's friends know they can call my cell number to talk to him. If he's not available, I just take a message. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:08:06 PM |
Even a basic plan scares me because if anyone ever gets ahold of your child's cell phone number they can call in and talk to your child without you ever knowing about it. I personally like knowing who my son is talking to. My son's friends know they can call my cell number to talk to him. If he's not available, I just take a message.
There are phones and plans that restrict all incoming and outgoing calls other than those from an allowed list of numbers.
Not everyone has a landline anymore. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 1:59:21 PM | | I got them for my kids when we moved a year ago, when they were 12 and 14. Prior to that we lived in a little village where they were never out of walkie-talkie range. So we all have cell phones, but no texting (although I told them that if they want to upgrade to an unlimited texting package, they're welcome to pay for it). We don't have a landline phone. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:06:04 PM | My daughter is 11 now and has had one for about 3 years, but it's one of those specialized kid phones that can only contact/be contacted by 4 phone numbers and do 911 calls.
But then, she also lives 1000 miles away, so that may not be the best example | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:22:07 PM | I'm the CP of a 12yo and 8yo twins. In my humble opinion it is more about maturity and responsibility than age. My ex gave our 12 yo daughter a pre-paid one about 3-4 months ago. Instead of using it responsibly, she would call her Mom (300 miles away) to have her call me for whatever function that she was ready to be picked up. (Clearly an attempt to make it look like she was abandonded instead of just calling me.)
Shortly thereafter, she became a little too transfixed texting flirty messages. Not sexting, but not really appropriate either, so I sent it back to her Mother until she can learn to use it.
Is it a PITA for me to not be able to reach her after strings practice? Yes. Would I prefer her to be able to call me or 911 in the event she needed to? Yes again. Hopefully she will grow up soon and can appreciate it as a *privelege* and not a *right*. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:23:54 PM |
... geez, somehow I managed to live for over half a century and didn't have one until I was about 45.... and I still do pay-as-you-go and rarely turn it on...
That's such silly logic. I suppose you walked to school, uphill (both ways) in the snow, barefoot too.
We didn't have computers in the home growing up either, or the internet, or fax machines or digital cameras or any number of devices that are commonly used by people of all ages now. That doesn't mean they're not useful for people of varying ages now. | |
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| At what age would you consider getting a cell phone for your child?
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:26:41 PM | when they are old enough to be visiting friends houses etc without parental accompanyment or supervision... i would consider one of the ones that are specially programed they can only call home or 911 in an emergency.... this age would depend on the maturity and responsibility levels of the specific child ( a 12 yr old would definatly fall into this age range)
as far as a phone they can actually use for talking or texting on.... when they are old enough to get a part time job and pay for their own pay as you go cards.... not only will they learn to have a cell is a privledge not a right, they will learn the responsibility that such things do cost money and learn how to budget.... if they use the first card all in one day or one week and have to wait until they can afford on their own to buy a new card for it, they might be more careful next time to space out how much use the phone is getting.
as an adult yes i have a cell but it is primarily for emergency use if im out and a babysitter or the kids school or someone else important needs to contact me right away, or if i need to call a cab, things like that.... if someone wants to have a long unimportant conversation with me i have a home phone or msn for that.
it urks me when i see parents complain that their teenager is on their cell phone 24/7 .... texting at meal time...all hours of the night....etc..... ummmm hello "YOUR" the parent...walk over and take the phone away. | |
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