| Need help on improving my profile
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:13:02 PM | I need someone to review my profile and picture because I receive almost no reviews, responses, or messages.
I am just that ugly? Do I look too young? Are there any girls who would give me their honest opinion on this? I keep thinking it has more to do with looks than what I say in my profile.
I've been running for over a year now; I've lost about 30 pounds in weight thinking maybe this was my problem, but it doesn't seem that way. I have seen the chiropractor to help fix some posture problems.
When writing my profile, I try to spell everything right, and I know how to use good grammar. I have my M.A in Spanish; therefore concepts such as: usage, grammar, syntax, semantics, spelling, morphology, and phonetics are always on my mind.
I've put my picture on Hot or Not and so far it's a 7.7 after 30 votes. I've looked into the profiles of other guys on that site my age (28) and they all get 8.0+.
I figure that wearing glasses is not helping me, but I cannot afford surgery right now (and I am not a contact person...tried that and swore I'd never do that again - my eyes just would not co-operate).
I am on several internet dating sites, and everyone keeps suggesting that I get women to review my profile; well, it's hard when I have almost no one of the opposite sex to really talk to. So, I figured I'd ask on here.
So far:
Eharmony = No responses (lots of closed) after 1 month
Yahoo Personals = Zero luck after years (do people even use this?)
PlentyofFish = A few have looked at my profile, but it has slowed down in the past week.
I figure the Internet is a better place to find people with similar interests than trying my luck at a bar.
Josh.
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| Need help on improving my profile
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:28:50 PM | Ok professor, I'm giving you a "D." Really, overall your profile is sparse, but let's look at what you do have:
First, never "laundry list" your profile - it allows people to cross off what they don't desire. Also, this isn't ala carte ...
1: My hobbies include: running, reading books, traveling when I have money, watching movies, airshows and airplanes, writing poetry, walks on the beach, hiking in the mountains, and recently I've gotten into taking my canoe out on the water.
Take out the "when I have money" and the "1:", and this might be acceptable.
2: I'd love to have a great job - the economy has put a huge damper on my goals. I'd like to have my Ph.D. or at least get to write one book. Learn karate, learn how to dance, learn how to play the piano, learn how to ice skate (tired of falling down), I'd like to be able to either live in Spain or at least be able to visit once a year.
Don't bring up negative stuff in your profile. I went from getting to know stuff about you to being depressed about the economy. Was that your goal. I'd change it to:
I'd love to have a great job - I'd like to have my Ph.D. and maybe write a book. I'd also like to learn karate, learn how to dance, learn how to play the piano, learn how to ice skate (tired of falling down)
Ditch the Spain part - you're just alienating women who have no interest in that.
3: Well, I'm 28.
Yeah, we know. It is up in the title block. Get rid of the above.
I am mostly finished with school though I might have to pick up another skill now that teaching has been put on hold. I like computers, but not enough to live in a basement and never see the light of day. I get out all the time to go running, walking, etc. I don't usually go to bars or parties unless I get invited.
Edit: Oops, after rereading this, it is just frankly depressing. Get rid of it.
I'm a Gemini, so my life is about dealing with changes.
... and you've just alienated every woman that thinks astrology is junk. Just leave out the above.
Personality wise, I am middle of the road, moderate, creative, and sometimes spontaneous.
This is fine - combine it with the below.
I love all kinds of music: rock, pop, country, jazz, classical, techno, dance. I don't care much for rap music or RandB.
Add this to the above paragraph as well.
Now riddle me this professor: what qualities are you looking for in a woman? No offense, but without listing them, your profile comes across as self-centered.
Also, when listing the qualities, come at it with the mindset of emotions: what is it that you want in a relationship? What is it about a woman that drives you crazy with passion that makes you so you just can't live without her?
No easy, huh? Looks like you have a little homework to do. (Oh, and feel fortunate that I graded you on a curve ...  )
The best of luck to you. | |
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| Need help on improving my profile
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:30:24 PM | dear josh,
i tried to send you a message but i'm off your radar. (too old). but think of me as your big sister. i will tell you what you don't necessarily want to hear but at least i'll tell you straight. i've written articles on this stuff.
i've been on internet dating sites for years and posted many different profiles that have garnered positive comments and responses. i would be happy to point a few things out in yours that stick out like a sore thumb. you definitely need to change it. if you want me to go for it, let me know - it's all a matter of reading between the lines.
trust me - i know what i'm talking about.
CLM
p.s. shoot me an email if you want and btw, it has nothing to do with looks but the insecurity beneath those looks that screams out from between the lines of your profile. easy enough to fix... | |
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| Need help on improving my profile
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:15:28 PM |
I figure the Internet is a better place to find people with similar interests than trying my luck at a bar.
You are smart enough to be able to figure out that there are lots of places to meet women other than bars. You can meet women at school, at social groups, at sporting events, in the park, while you are running, while you are hiking, while you are traveling, and even in retail stores. Perhaps you need to get out from behind your computer and meet some people in the real world? | |
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| Need help on improving my profile
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:38:19 PM | I try talking with women every chance I get. Most are taken, married, or have told me that they were not interested. Recently, a girl that I had liked for a long time simply told me that she never had mutual feelings for me. She was ineffable in terms of beauty; approaching her was very difficult.
In all honesty, I am glad she gave me closure. I have moved on with my life and my pursuits, but it is difficult to forget someone that literally took my breath away and confidence out of my sails.
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I get out any chance I have. I spend time on the computer at night, but do lots of things during the day.
I live in a small town and the church is mostly filled with small children with couples and their grandparents. I meet lots of people in stores, but I don't act desperate asking out everyone that I see. At my current job, I greet anyone that I like with a big smile and act as friendly as possible.
It has to be a candid moment, in my opinion, (not in the checkout line) to get to the point where I ask them questions about their life.
I love running on the beach, and girls are the most friendly there. My problem is that most are tourists that come down to the beach, and they are just there for a weekend splurge on getting a tan, and the competition is stiff in terms of physical fitness. Still, it is a great place to go. The Spring/Winter months are terrible here. I'm the only one running besides some marine or soldier off duty.
I've met so many girls on the beach, but I know that a long distance relationship is out of the question. | |
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| Need help on improving my profile
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:14:12 AM | Josh,
In case you are still reading this thread, you've done a good job analyzing the problems you've had meeting women. It's obvious that you've thought a lot about it. Unfortunately, you are at a big demographic disadvantage, both in real life and on the Internet.
The one thing that you could do to improve your chances significantly would be to relocate to a larger city where there are more single women. Have you considered relocating? Would it be possible for you to find a job in your field in a larger city?
Good luck to you. | |
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