| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:11:06 PM | So i dated this guy, and he was my everything, we were pretty serious at one point, then he cheated, but didnt go all the way. I had a few relationships since, kinda bad ones too... this guy just asked me back out. Though i love him still, im afraid that if i say yes, ill only be hurting myself again... So, Do i trust that he wont cheat again? we've been over since March, its July now. He hasnt done anything with any other females. So do i trust he was serious about loving me and only loving me and his stupidity got to him? Im so lost and so so confused. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:17:31 PM | Hang in there.
I would "just say no". Him cheating again is very possible and when it happens, it will be even more hurtful.
Give your time to someone more serious and respectful of your devotion. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:19:57 PM | | no way, don't talk to the douchebag anymore, just keeps the wounds left open | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:34:34 PM | I know what you mean ... your mind say no way because if they cheated once, they may always do so in the future. My advice says to follow your mind and don't give a cheater a second chance.
However, I know that the heart is there as well. Do you still love him? If the heart is still there, you have to listen to it as well - and weigh the matter between your heart and you mind. It easy to say to not listen to the heart, but what is the point of dating if you are going to do that?
Only you can answer this question, and you know it. Whatever decision you make, I wish for you the best. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:48:37 PM |
So do i trust he was serious about loving me and only loving me and his stupidity got to him?
This is the kernel to your dilemma. If you feel you can trust him? Completely? If the answer to that is yes then give it another shot.
If you feel you are going to have to constantly watch him or spy on him then you should probably move on. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 8:55:49 PM | Say no... beyond the old cliche, 'once a cheater, always a cheater' (which is true)... but even if he didn't, it'll always be in the back of your mind just waiting for him to do it again.
Taking him back is just asking for trouble. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:01:41 PM | | It generally takes more than a couple months for such duchebaggery to get out of a guy's system. It's a high-risk situation, you have to decide on your OWN if the risk is worth it. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:11:20 PM | Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Honestly, 99% of the population is not worthy of a second chance. If he was dumb enough to let you get away once then he's more than likely dumb enough to let you get away again. I get so tired of watching great girls go out with douchebags that treat them like trash, it is an absolute rarity that a guy won't cheat again after he's already cheated on his partner.
Good luck and do what's best for you. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:36:16 PM | I wouldn't take back anyone who cheated on me because the trust is gone.
They say they are going out with their friends. Are they?
Running a little late. Really?
Phone rings. Who is it? No one? Yeah, who the f*ck are you talking to??
He did it before, what would stop him from doing it again? | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:57:44 PM | It's hard to believe
he was my everything, we were pretty serious at one point
When it's the person that you
dated this guy
Usually someone becomes your everything after you've gone past the dating stage...IMO/IME.
Also you say
I had a few relationships since
And you refer to a 3 month period? Really? A FEW relationships in a 3-4 month period and at one point a guy you simply dated was your everything?
So, Do i trust that he wont cheat again?
I'm not sure it matters. From what you say it seems you like to jump from relationship to relationship. Possibly looking for people that you know lead to failed relationships.
He hasnt done anything with any other females.
Did you ever think he was lying about this?
Did you ever think (if this is true) that it might not necessarily be by choice and he's coming after you because it's easier?
So do i trust he was serious about loving me and only loving me and his stupidity got to him?
IMO his stupidity isn't the only stupidity in question.
Im so lost and so so confused.
I doubt it. You are young, full of hormones, and seeking a romantic ideal for validation and purpose.
IOW (and IMO) you are doing what men are generally stereotyped as doing. You are thinking with your little head more than your big one. That is what is causing any "confusion." | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 9:59:30 PM | | Once a cheater, always a cheater. May not happen now, might be 5 years from now, or he just might get truly sneaky about it. If I were in a relationship and the woman cheated on me, first off, I'd love to know why, if it's because of me, it'd be great to know. I'd still say "see you later" regardless of the cause. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:22:16 PM | I've had only two serious relationships in my life thus far and both have ended to the girls cheating on me. I took one back after 6 months of her proving to me that she could be faithful and she STILL couldn't be. If they've had to urge to cheat once what's saying they won't do it again? Not so say that people make mistakes and learn from them just saying if they know they got away with it once what's stopping them from doing it again?
Spare yourself the time and heart ache. You don't want to spend every waking minute wondering if he's cheating on you again.... trust me.
Best of Luck! | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:31:02 PM | A man either knows how to make a sexual commitment or he does not. When a man says that he is committed and then has sex with another woman, he doesn't even know his own values. I wouldn't bother with these types of men unless you want to be hurt. Furthermore, if you do, then you deserve the hurt in my opinion.
A man can choose to NOT be sexually committed and have sex with more than one partner. He can also be upfront and honest about the behavior so that his partners understand and have the ability to choose for themselves whether or not they can handle that. These same men also have the ability to CHOOSE to become sexually exclusive and do so when they feel it is warranted.
Hope this helps. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 10:36:50 PM | | **** HIM! Get over him darlin' ...he' s nuthin' but a ****... and no-one needs a ****.. lay him and then tell him to **** off in the A.M.... that'll set 'im straight... | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 11:18:26 PM | You know- the name here is "PLENTY"ofFish.. Sooo many single men every where for you, all you ladies have to do is simply point and pick.. eeny.. meeny.. miny.. moe.. :-) 
I'd have thought that once you learn such valuable lesson, you'd definitely want to use it if there is a next time.. such as in this case! | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/10/2009 11:53:19 PM | | let him go. you're not having any trouble meeting guys, and sorry to sound like your dad, but you're only 18. he's not ready to settle down, and odds are very good that you aren't either. so find a situation that makes you happy (unless, of course, you LIKE to wallow in all this drama) and do your best to realize that romantic pop songs, tv and movies are full of sh|t: you cannot make your life perfect simply by finding a guy who says he'll love you forever. | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/11/2009 12:43:45 AM | If you take him back you will be entering a cycle.
You guys get together ...
He cheats ...
You break up ...
You guys get together ...
... | |
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| Help please! so confused!
Posted: 7/11/2009 12:47:41 AM | Why are you "confused" ? Do you not know what happens when your boyfriend drops his pants, undresses a woman who is NOT you, and play hide the sausage for an hour? Do you need a video to understand this concept?
He cheated on you before, and now you actually BELIEVE he hasn't been screwing chicks right and left since you broke up. And did he tell you he won Lotto, and got a job with Obama, and went to South America for the 4th?
What part of "he's a liar" is not clear to you? If you want him back, fine. Just understand that he will LIE to you anytime, any place, because apparently -- you don't care. And he will cheat on you again and again, because apparently -- it doesn't matter.
So if you don't mind him telling amusing stories about where he's been, you can pretend he's faithful and live in your happy bubble. It works for some people. | |
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