| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/12/2009 8:58:34 PM | Just out of curiousity... When is the time when you're supposed to get rid of the dating sites??
(ok, ok, I guess that I need to give details lol!)
Obviously most of us are meeting people we met online, or trying to meet them anyway... Well I often have trouble with guys that I meet from online and then when we've been dating for awhile I notice they still have their "Ad" (for lack of a better term...) up for everyone to see. The last guy I dated I met on hot or not, and when I brought this up to him he simply said "i dont know why I still go on there, I guess it's just a bad habbit, I only want you though"-- this is AFTER he had recently emailed more than one girl asking what she looked for in a guy, and telling them that he hoped to find friendship first then a relationship--- pretty much making it seem as though he was single and avaliable... After i brought it up and we had a fight  about it (we had already been dating for a month or more...) I noticed he was STILL on there, his reply this time was "Well, I quit paying for it so it's not like I'm out talking to a bunch of girls"-- so my question is- when is the time when you finally take yourself off the site completely? Just curious!   | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:05:15 PM | Well, first there is the exclusivity discussion. The following answer is assuming you have held it - if not do and see where he stands.
As for his site, is there any way he can hide his account from the other users. To me, I don't think that the account has to be destroyed - however, I do believe that the account should go to the inactive state.
Now the grey area is message boards. There are users here that are in serious relationship, but have made friends here and like to talk to them. Also, there is the aspect where it is cool to help others with their relationship issues. If he's got the account for that, then I would be fine. However, if he's trolling his e-mails and checking out other women's profiles, that would be a definite red flag.
Not a straight up/straight down I know - but there are aspects to the question that you are asking. Just my opinion. | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:12:25 PM | | I've never deleted mine while I've dated someone off of here. I have hidden it though. Wait til you have the "exclusive talk" and til you have been dating for a couple months or so. | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:15:29 PM | | when it gets serious...and also even if you start dating the person..be honest...after a month...you should be focusing on the relationship...if somebody has doubts after a month...then you know they do not want a relationship...you have to take a chance in life...but to me ...i would not want to be with a liar. | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:35:02 PM | | Agree. If this is going strong for a month, you've been hangin' out together, overnight, even maybe sex, relationship is on, time to quit the singles club; You're a couple. | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/12/2009 9:40:10 PM | Well that's what I figured, I should have also stated that I have never "deleted" mine- But have chosen to "hide it"-- With that particular situation as I stated we did have that "Talk"-- well, it was never like a "hey, we need to talk, lets go steady" type of thing lol. But it was stated "you're my girl, I'm you're guy and I am not looking for anyone else, you're the only girl I want"-- so yes, in that situation I feel as though I was dating a liar. But don't get me wrong, the guy is a good guy even though he was still talking with other girls and such. We were spending most if not all our free time together, so I am 99% sure that he wasn't off "cheating"-- just somewhat seeing what was out there. We didnt break up because of that particular situation.
But Thanks! I was just curious as to what the "proper" way to handle that type of situation would be (meeting someone online through a site like this or hot or not.com or whatever...) because obviously if it's someone I met this way and they kept it up after awhile then he isn't thinking the longer term and isnt too much worth trying more with.
Thanks ya'll!  | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:00:42 AM | I would think there has to be mutual respect and understanding in a relationship. If the relationship is strong enough, you both will know when the time is right. I personally don't think it's acceptable to have an account on these sites open while you are dating someone.
:) | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/13/2009 2:08:33 AM | When you both agree to do so! And watch each other doing just that! If he's for you and your for him...then there's no reason to be looking else where. Unless he's not as strong into your relation as you think. Ask him when "can we get rid of our daeing sites"?
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:06:00 AM | | When you both agree on it, delete them. It's easy enough to put a new one on. And then go trolling on all the other dating sites and makes sure he takes down the 5 other profiles he's got. lol If he gets rid of the one you met on, doesn't mean he's getting rid of the rest. | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:46:19 AM | | I'm not sure there is any way to figure out if a guy has deleted all his profiles and is being exclusive. However, OP, you kinda know what this guy is all about now. And that's a good thing. He was not being sneaky and it doesn't look like he is hiding anything. As for having the talk, my personal and highly generalized opinion is that guys are not much for talk and are more for action. I believe a man's actions more than his words. | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:45:25 PM | | Yea.. as soon as the two of you have for lack of a better term become official. If his ad is still there, have the discussion.. the site has to go. I'm in a relationship myself but only keep my account here for the forum. I've hidden my profile and stated in it that i'm not single and just here for the forum which I see as being acceptable | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:36:29 PM | | I agree with jimmorrison when you both agree to, I will keep mine till I find some one who I like enough and I know it might be get'n serious and they ask me too, till then here I am! | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:23:06 PM | I got into something serious, and I deleted my account here. Even went as far as to delete the profile, that I had saved on my comp. When it ended, I didn't have my profile to stick back up on here. So I just whipped up something half assed for now.
Every person is different. | |
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| When is it time to get rid of the dating sites?
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:26:47 PM | | Agreed its really down to the inddividual, I mean personally I dont care, but then I suppose your gonna wonder why its up there for some reason :p dating is one thing but a relationship is more of a commitment I guess - I dunno lol not done it before so who am I to say lol | |
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