| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:34:56 AM | | Right after making love for the first time, she tells me she's bi, and do i have a problem with it?/ I told her not right now..lol...but seriously, i would like some feedback. I'm not familar with this at all. Obviously there are alot of questions. To give you some history, she was married at 18..which made it for 11 years..then she was married again for 9 years, then she was in a serious relationship for another 5 yrs. Almost her whole life she has been intimately involved with men. Is this a phase she's going thru? Can she be monagamous with me?/ Should i run for the hills? | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:40:23 AM | | I don't know about this bi thing, you're either attracted to males or females...I know there are a lot of people that like to believe they can be equally attracted to both, i just don't see how...could be wrong but i think she's just sitting on the fence for now... | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:43:09 AM | ask her if she has a 'good friend' who wants to come over! lol
seriously, give her some credit that she has been honest with you, and make sure she knows boundaries with regards to cheating - you go with someone else male or female when in a relationship is cheating and is not acceptable! | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:48:01 AM | People lie about age, about STD's, but they typically do not lie about being gay or bisexual since there can be repercussions about those two areas. If she is telling you she is bi, then take it as the truth. She is being open to you, and hoping for the best. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:50:44 AM | She could just be bi-curious. It doesn't HAVE to mean she can't be monogamous, that relies more 0n a person's inability to handle monogamy, than their sexual preference.
No matter who you're with, you can decide whether to run or not, on a basis of how they treat you. Is it respectful, or is it not? If she was in these relationships for years, apparently she isn't afraid of relationships..unless they were all open or something :) | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:51:24 AM | She has been intimatly involved with men, for most of her life.....yet says she is Bi.
perhaps she has been having her hot dog and then honey buns for desert? Was she monogamimus during the long term relationships of the past. Perhaps the men in her past were fine with her bisexuality, or perhaps it caused problems those relationships. These are questions that you should pose to her. In the end you might have to decide if you are willing to share her with the fairer sex. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:04:52 AM | I think this is something perhaps she should have disclosed earlier... almost like "oh by the way, ive had a sex change" right after the orgasm.
then again, think of all the possibilities... ask when you can join or add another girl to the mix  | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:14:17 AM | | I know to all the guys it sounds 'hot'..but this is a lifestyle she has chosen. I will have to share her with another person(female) in all aspects..emotionally, physically, spiritually and the day to day stuff. I am only human (and a guy) and did inquire about joining this group in a sexual nature, and her response was 'maybe'.I'd really like to hear from women who are bi..and not just 'curious', or from men that have experienced this first hand in a relationship. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:31:48 AM | | I had a girlfriend who told me she was bi after we'd been dating (and sleeping together) a while. I really didn't think it was a big deal. If she wanted to have sex with a woman, I was not bothered by it. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:35:54 AM |
I will have to share her with another person(female) in all aspects..emotionally, physically, spiritually and the day to day stuff. I am only human (and a guy) and did inquire about joining this group in a sexual nature, and her response was 'maybe'.
Shouldn't that tell you everything you need to know right there? Monogomy is out of the question, and she's apparently the one making the decision for you as to whether or not you can be a willing participant in the polyamory.
That said, I can also understand the reluctance on her part as you seem the monogomous type and your desire to delve into polyamory could be perceived as more of a, "Well if she can, I can too," approach rather than it just being about who you are.
Seriously, I don't think it's going to work out for you. It doesn't sound like you share the same values regarding committed relationships. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:47:29 AM | LOL...shes gotta be a bit old to be goin thru any phase.....by now she aughta know somewhat what shes looking for in a relationship.....sounds like shes been jumpin around and never been by herself....or afraid to be....I would keep things light and if your intriqued.....wait her out....as for the Bi thing....its your deal....does it mean shes gonna be two timin ya?.....good luck! | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:04:36 AM |
seriously, give her some credit that she has been honest with you, and make sure she knows boundaries with regards to cheating - you go with someone else male or female when in a relationship is cheating and is not acceptable!
Is she just telling you she is bi or expecting you to be okay with her screwing around on you because it is a woman instead of a man? | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:11:03 AM | | OP you might want to get some clarification....does she like women or is just sexually attracted to women and men? I myself don't call myself Bi however, I have been with women so I guess you could consider me sexually bisexual. Maybe she just enjoys the softness and tastes of women! :bounce: | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:28:53 AM |
I will have to share her with another person(female) in all aspects..emotionally, physically, spiritually and the day to day stuff.
This isn't because she's bi, plenty of bis can be completely monogamous. Bi just means they can go either way, it doesn't mean they need to go both ways simultaneously. In addition to being bi, she's also polyamorous (whether she's familiar with the term or not), and that's really the part you have a problem with. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:01:20 AM | | Bi people can certainly be monogamous. I assume you're straight, may find some women other than your girlfriend attractive, but would not act on that attraction. Same for her, just that some people she finds attractive may not be male. Besides, it sounds like her history is filled with commited relationships, unless there is more to that than she or you have told us. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:19:48 AM | Like someone said, she is not bi, but bi-curios. If she has been in that many relationships with men and have not crossed over, then she is not what she things she is. What is happening with that woman, is that her sense of fulfillment with men is at a low point, and it doesn't seem that you were able to provide that either. Now, that doesn't mean you did something wrong, it simply means that something is not being met, so what are the alternatives in her head.
So, if she wants to experiment with other women, she will have to, to get it out of her system. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:22:03 AM | | I find her timing very odd, telling you this right after making love for the first time. Just seems a bit weird to me. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:22:41 AM | I can't do the Math....
18+11=29+9=38+5=43
So at 43, after a life time of failed relationships with men she's bi?
I think Bi is the new "cool" thing for women to try since the whole men thing isn't going so smooth and easy. I doubt she really is making it a life choice. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:23:05 AM | soooooo, if the girl sleep with another guy it is cheating but if it is with another girl it's not, based on an unfulfilled aspect of sexuality?!
double standard here!
I wonder how many of you ladies will react to see your "man" in bed with another man?; and what will be your perception of him in the aftermath? Your perception of yourself or perception of your own sexual abilities to fulfill him in the aftermath?
First of all, there is about 13 level of bi-sexuality, which one are we implying here? Is it at the same time in time, in rotation, occasional? etc etc; based on a social aspect? of an emotional preference? on a confusion of identity? a lack of self esteem?
Reasons and motives are varied.
But I do not eat that kind of bread: Life and couple life do have enough factors to complicating things that I prefer not to add another variable on top of it; and beside, I like a type of women far too much to even consider anything else as am completely fulfilled by her at all levels...and know myself very well.
Call it playing it safe if you want, but I prefer to be able to channel my energies where it is needed or matters and not to have to wonder, worry or think about things such as this in my couple. I will give her everything I can, everything I can be, grow, evolve, etc etc; and if that's not good enough for her..then we are not meant to be together. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:27:23 AM |
people lie about age, about STD's, but they typically do not lie about being gay or bisexual since there can be repercussions about those two areas. If she is telling you she is bi, then take it as the truth. She is being open to you, and hoping for the best.
you are kidding right ...for a woman being or saying they are Bi is the thing to do now days
I have a relative ... her husband got her interested in the swinging thing and got her to try sex with a woman ..It took a lot of convincing on his part ..his motive was to watch and have threesomes ..and partner swaps ...and then it graduated to them just having women ...him watching and joining in after the girls played ...and it worked for several years he was making out like a bandit ..I heard all the same old crap about how both of them like pvssy and all the bragging crap about how sexually liberated they were ...well now he has become obsolete... she has left him for the lifestyle ...she only does women ....and he says she is a nasty lesbian ...go figure ...Do I think she is truly lesbian ?? NO ..hell I dont even think she is BI even though she has had sex with lots of women ...I think one day she will realize that its a game started by him and she is playing out his fantasy ..and I hope she wakes up soon enough that a good man will still want her
I would say if a woman is truly bi curious ... let it happen if they choose to do so .....but if the curiosity was planted by her guy ... as his ticket into the lifestyle ...she is just letting herself be used ...and even if he uses hanging around other couples with bi women to plant it ...thats just a covert route to his agenda ...and a game where he will end up the looser ...if he is not lucky
soooooo, if the girl sleep with another guy it is cheating but if it is with another girl it's not, based on an unfulfilled aspect of sexuality?!
nope its not cheating either way if she has his permission...cheating is LYING ...you cant cheat if your partner is on board | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:36:50 AM |
soooooo, if the girl sleep with another guy it is cheating but if it is with another girl it's not, based on an unfulfilled aspect of sexuality?!
That's the way I see it and I'm a guy, so I'm not the one trying to ``get away'' with something.
double standard here!
Not unless you think a man can fulfill the role of another woman in bed. I'm quite sure that I can't be the woman that a woman might want, so I'm only opposed to a girlfriend who would want another guy. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:39:39 AM | To me, it would be a deal breaker and that at some point, she's going to want a woman too, with or without me.
In 2 instances, the opportunity of a threesome has come my way, and both times I refused. Fantasy is one thing, but for the real deal I generally prefer to be paranoid over only half of the world's population. For the last occurrence, I'm extremely grateful to have not involved myself. One of the women has AIDS now and has infected dozens of people and probably continues to. | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:42:04 AM |
First of all, there is about 13 level of bi-sexuality, which one are we implying here?
Based on what? What are those 13 levels. Why not 11 levels? Or 21?
Are you pulling this out of your (pardon the pun) your bu tt? Or can you back this up with data.
(No argument here, just curious about your sources.) | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:42:46 AM | she's 'smart'
intentionally made sure she waited until AFTER she had some sort of hold on you before she told you.
PHASE? i doubt it. if she's bi she's bi. a lot of men sit through waiting for women to go through this 'phase' and end up wasting their time. if u want a bi woman, stick with her. if not, don't count on this being a phase | |
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| She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:48:14 AM | Oh dear now I really have to do the Math.
I'd like level number.......7
Is that up 2 or down 5?
This is not contributing to the topic as it was posted by the OP folks! Although I do love the points being made.
I am going again with some suspicion. I think that too many women these days are leaping aboard the Bi train and riding on in.
I am so NOT Bi - women are squishy and icky and you feel all mushed pressed up against them.
How do I know this? Cuz some fool Bi woman thinks she has a crush on me - she hugged me like a Quarterback with the ball.
I was nauseous pressed up against the HUGE floatation devices. Give me a MAN! Yum!
Those women who have now determined that life with men is tough and not full of the emotional support they need or desire?
Well - if it works for them - sweet I won't know them for it. But I do firmly believe that too many people are using the term and the "trend" as a sexual fad. As if doing women is suddenly more in than your De Walt vibrators.
And I have to agree - that being Bi and licking a chick is simply the same as licking a dude.
If it sounds like cheating, looks like cheating and smells like cheating it's cheating. Just because some guy walking in and seeing it might think "oh goodie goodie goodie!"
I can damn straight guarantee you not many women are going to walk in on her man licking another guy's junk and think "oh goodie goodie goodie" unless she hates giving oral and thinks she's in the clear for the night. | |
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