| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:20:13 PM | Met a nice girl a few weeks ago. We just clicked, and spent nearly the entire following week together. We spent so many hours each day just talking it was ridiculous. The more time we spent together, the more time she wanted to spend with me... and the feeling was mutual. She said that there was serious potential here, and wanted to see where this could go. I felt the same way.
She was leaving for 10 days to visit family in Maine, and said that the week leading up to it she was going to be really busy taking care of stuff at work and wouldn't be able to see me until she got back. I was disappointed, but I understood. She was only able to text a few times, but I was understanding. I didn't push anything.
The next week she was in Maine. Didn't hear a word from her. While she was gone, however, I ran into a friend of hers who asked if I was still seeing her. I told her what had been going on the past couple weeks and she just looked at me funny. Turns out that her friend saw her out a few times that week with a different guy. She was all over him every time her friend saw her, who just couldn't believe it.
If she had just told me that she wasn't sure or that interested, that would have been one thing. But telling me that then lying to make an excuse because she'd rather be with someone else? Yeah.
She got back from Maine last week and texted me. I never responded.
I don't need that. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:25:37 PM | dating is just that! youve been seeing this girl for a few weeks, and unless you have had some sort of revalation in this time between the pair of you that it will be exclusive, then she has done nothing wrong!
i can understand why youre a bit put out, but she text you! shes gotta be interested!
even if you dont want to see her again, call or text her to tell her that, and why!! | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:28:02 PM | Yeah, I'm just starting to get back into the whole dating thing.
I'll call her. May as well.
Any other tips? This is the real reason I posted this in the first place. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:30:13 PM | Yeah, tell her you went out on a date with someone while she was away, and you hope that she gives head as good as that girl does.  | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:37:46 PM | You are right... you don't need that. Why should you give her a call if she lied to you? Even if she was interested, do you want a liar for a girlfriend? Personally, I want someone who is going to be brutally honest... someone who could have salvaged even a friendship just by being upfront and honest with me. You could have been friends, but I won't even be friends with someone who will lie to me. You can do better than that... Go get 'em tiger!!! | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:37:56 PM | | Pro Tip: stop spending every waking moment together and taking on the phone all the time, etc. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:38:49 PM | | Have you too agreed to be exclusive? If the answer is no, then she didn't do anything wrong. She is allowed to test the waters, even sleep with whoever she pleases. And so are you. Until you two decide of a higher degree of exclusivity that is the reality you are dealing with. She may not like the other guy as much as you, or maybe not. So call her, but be casual. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:46:42 PM | Why cant men and women just be freakin honest about this stuff??
It isnt that hard. She had no right to string you along. Unless she felt the same for the other man at the same time?
Good for you for being strong.
I would have had to get the last word in though just to tell her u saw her with him and that shes a a game player.
Good choice OP! | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 1:54:19 PM | You posted this, why? As a PSA that htere are liars in this world? Umm, gee, thanks, I had no idea...
My tip, umm, don't believe everything you hear, and umm, I dunno...wake me when it's Happy Hour  | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:02:19 PM | Did you not think that the way you both behaved from the start was a bit extreme?
You meet someone, and spent nearly the entire following week together?
You spent so many hours each day just talking it was ridiculous-- you're right.
Things that begin with this kind of mad flurry seldom last.
Learn to pace yourself.
Learn to take things slow.
Learn to get to know someone over time, rather than spend every waking moment together.
After "a few weeks" she was still little more than a stranger. If you knew her better, you might have had more faith in her rather than believe what some "friend" reported to you.
And even if what her friend said was true, since you weren't exclusive with her, why isn't she allowed to date whomever she pleases? | |
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Iam40
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Joined: 4/21/2009
Msg: 11 | |
| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:37:04 PM | There's no excuse for lying.
I've been with a man who has lied to me for seven months. He's on his way out the door (gotta remove him from the bottom of my shoe.)
She played you. You are better off without her. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:56:16 PM | Be glad it just went on for a few weeks, and that you found out . It happens to some people for years.
While it's true that you didn't have a committed relationship with her, if you feel hurt by someone's behavior, then it's time to leave most likely.
Don't second guess your feelings, or wonder if it's "right" to feel a certain way.
Hurt is hurt. It's there to tell you she's not right for you. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 3:39:18 PM | What she did wasn't right, but at the same time you guys weren't exclusively dating each other as bf/gf, so I guess to her she didn't see it as anything serious.
Besides, at least you found this out sooner than later. Also, you shouldn't spend too much time with a person especially early on, you want to have times where you miss each other when the other isn't around. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 3:48:55 PM | Interesting ..
But - It doesn't sound to me like something a "Friend" would do .. ya know? ..
Have you considered that this "Friend" of hers who told you that nasty stuff wasn't the one doing the lying?
It was my First thought when I read your post ..
Hope you haven't cut out a good one cuz of something a bad one told ya!
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 3:55:37 PM | Stop bashing the girl, she did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG. Liar? What lie did she tell? What promise did she break?
OP, did you ever even kiss her, **** her, or put the moves on her in any way during that week? You never mentioned it, and knowing this info is key if we're going to get anywhere analyzing this. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 4:17:50 PM | Have you thought that the friend of hers maybe trying to stir things up because she is interested in you? Just a thought.
If you have not specified that you wouldn't see others, she didn't do anything wrong (if she WAS out with someone else). I would certainly call her and see what happens. Tell her that her 'friend' said she was out with someone else and it bothered you. Be honest. Tell her if you want an exclusive relationship. Find out for a fact if she is dating others before you convict her. If you want an exclusive relationship and she doesn't, then move on. If you connected as well as you think, talk with her first. Don't assume anything. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:00:40 PM | | Maybe he posted it because the stereotype is that guys do this all the time...string along women all the time....well its should be posted that the string along game is probably 50/50 in the dating world thats why when asked most peoples response is dating sucks and it does because even when you think you have the right chemistry people bs you.....both genders! so as informative and intelligent as your response was I'm thinking he was just venting...like I dont know, women do all the time...I'm sure you put little sarcastic responses from all the similiar posts made by women screwed over by guys right? or just agreed with them....yeah thats what I thought.......stay asleep, might make more sense. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:05:14 PM | well, she have lied.
and for what?
so what will be the next lie, especially when it will be important or matter?
(fear? BS!)
Maine or another guy are not worth enough to lose integrity, nothing does. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:21:29 PM | There are many that play that silly game. Truth be told, they don't like it when said actions are done to them.
She's not true to the game because she wasn't real with you. Many give excuses to hide their true actions. That's one of the reasons why I have a low tolerance for lame/BS excuses. I can distinguish real excuses from lame ones.
If she was into you, she would have shown you actions. Actions always trump words and excuses any day of the week. It doesn't matter if she was in Maine. If she was feeling you, she would have had conversations with you simple as that.
Don't fall into the traps many play. Many play the mind game, quit talking, change up on you all of a sudden etc... Remain on an even keel and if things all of a sudden take a different turn out the blue, simply leave. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:48:14 PM | Lots of kindling, not enough wood dude.....
Oh waitaminit.....she's from Maine.????
Well, there ya go. That should've told you something.
That's the prob right there my friend.
She's a Mainer.
Here's the thing....wave your hand in front of your face...and snap your fingers....
See? snaaaap! nothing happened. It was all a pipedream.
Better luck's comin' your way, don't worry
Kimbo | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:51:53 PM | Why do men do this? Dude wake up! You are a hot guy. Her friend is probably single. She might want you for herself. You have to beware very often the boyfriend or husband ends up in the bed of the bestfriend.
Ask her the truth! Think of it this way would your bestfriend tell her something messed up about you? Even if she felt bad about her cheaitng on you. She could of just gently put a bug in your ear like I saw her yesterday and maybe you should talk to her about it. This woman is giving you blow by blow because she wants to mess you guys up. Ive seen this happen to many times. The guy never confronts his girlfriend or wife, he just walks around with unresolved resentment which usually leads to some infidelity. Talk to her, not the (so called) friend! | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:53:18 PM |
She said that there was serious potential here, and wanted to see where this could go. Sounds good so far.
She was leaving for 10 days to visit family in Maine, and said that the week leading up to it she was going to be really busy taking care of stuff at work and wouldn't be able to see me until she got back. I was disappointed, but I understood. She was only able to text a few times, but I was understanding. I didn't push anything. You aren't an exclusive couple.. I don't see where she lied.. she WAS probably busy at work and getting prepared to leave on her trip as well. I don't know about you.. but if I'm not exclusive with a guy.. I certainly don't give him details of any other dates I may be going on or what happened while I was on them.
The next week she was in Maine. Didn't hear a word from her You knew her a week before she left.. She went to visit family. I know when I go away, I call once to let close family/friend(s) know I arrived safely and I'll be in touch when I get back. PERIOD. Why do you think she would call you while she was gone when you were just getting to know each other? This sounds very 'needy' to me.
While she was gone, however, I ran into a friend of hers who asked if I was still seeing her. I told her what had been going on the past couple weeks and she just looked at me funny. Turns out that her friend saw her out a few times that week with a different guy. She was all over him every time her friend saw her, who just couldn't believe it. First off, what type of friend would tell someone they barely knew (you) about their friend hanging out with another guy and "hanging all over him" unless she had some ulterior motive.. Some bloody friend! and the term "hanging all over him" can have man connotations.. not necessarily sexual. Have you seen how you young guys dance with total strangers at a club lately?????
She got back from Maine last week and texted me. I never responded. Nice.. now she's convinced that you could care less about her and here you are expanded all that angsy energy to total strangers on the internet. Call her (ditch the frigging texting.. it's lame when it comes to communicating properly) see if she's still interested.. and don't lie to her about why you didn't return her text.
Geeeezus.. no wonder nobody can hook up and make anything last around these here parts.
Good luck.. let us know how it goes.. and talk to her about her playing the field if it's something that will bother you and it will cause you to jeapardise anything budding that has the potential to actually bloom. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:55:05 PM | hmmm, did you ask her IF she was seeing anyone else when you FIRST met her? If you never asked, she didn't lie to you.
You're not exclusive, you're just dating.
Do you really want to hear that she's seeing XYZ when she's not with you?
Never listen to what another woman says about a woman. For all you know her friend is jealous of her, and made more out of it. After all, she could have her eye on you.
The other guy she was out with COULD have been some guy she knew for years, who she's just friends with. Just because they're hugging, etc, doesn't mean they're in a relationship.
You jumped the gun. Instead of calling her when she texted you, you A**umed she had 'cheated' on you. Hello???? It was one week you had with her.
Do you play the victim often?
COMMUNICATION is the key to any relationship.
You should have called her back and told her that you needed to speak to her in person, and then asked her if she was seeing anyone else.
If you don't ask, you don't know. Don't take some chicks word. | |
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| Got strung along again.
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:59:23 PM | | Sorry to hear that, man. My advice is that no matter how tempting it may be...this is a red flag that you shouldn't ignore. Run away now, and stay away...anything else and you're just making things hard on yourself. If things are right, they will work in that direction and you won't have to fight for it...but fight for what you don't know, be careful, 'cause you might just get it. | |
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