| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:43:47 PM | Had a guy who seemed very sweet on his profile and very nice on his emails ask me out yesterday morning for dinner last night, he stood me up. As I waited I had some questions that had never come to mind because frankly I had never had this happen.
1. How long do I wait?
2. Do I call or email him?
3. What would make a sane person make plans and then stand someone up?
I could use some answers and not the negative stuff that some people give. I understand I am a grown up and I have not taken it personally I just know I am not sure what to do with it. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 5:59:38 PM | 1- wait only 30 minutes if the person doesn't call
2- Call while you're waiting and ask if there's a problem.
3. Too many possibilities to list | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:05:33 PM | I'm sure he will have some excuse, and it could even be a legit one, but if he has a cell phone whether he does or not it was just bad manners don't you think?
As to when or if you call him, that's up to you....... | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:05:48 PM | Wait 10-15 minutes depending on traffic then depending if its a place you like order dinner and enjoy yourself. 
Dont contact him again.
All kinds of reasons.... | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:11:49 PM | I would have called when he was past the scheduled time (if he's smart he'll call BEFORE I do). It is not a good impression if one cannot show up on time. If he were conscious, he would have called you to advise you that he was running late for whatever reason.
I would NOT wait very long (not more than 10-15 mins) UNLESS he called me to let me know some thing was holding him up. i.e. stuck in traffic, etc...... | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:16:02 PM | | The very first time I was supposed to meet someone from here, I got stood up. since then, if we are supposed to meet at a bar or restaurat, I always take a newspaper, go to the bar, sit down, and order a beer. Then I read my newspaper and stay as long as I feel like. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 6:29:02 PM | What's been said.
Call about 20-30 mins after the due date to see if he answers and to find out what's going on.
All other things are dependent upon how you feel and believe.
I've never been stood up and have never stood anyone up.
When I make my meets and dates, I am VERY specific as to where and when to meet. I've chatted with friends who often get directions confused...for example, meeting at the coffee shop on one end of a long road rather than the one (by the same name) on the other end of the road a few miles away.
I don't use cell phones and try to call (message them) before leaving to let them know I'm on my way and what I'm wearing so they can identify me.
I also let them know I could be a running a few mins late IF traffic looks bad. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:18:11 PM | | Thanks so much. I waited 20 minutes, during that time I checked the directions and info I had sent to him. He was on POF today (tonyeng3)so he isn't dead in a ditch someplace..Thanks for all of the good advice. I guess we all meet a rude person from time to time. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:36:06 PM | beachpeople it's a against the RULES to post a screen name!
you made a serious bubu | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 7:40:12 PM | who cares if she wrote his id
i love when people name the user name, but than again im weird
i think it should be a rule that everyone who starts a new thread should name names and include phone numbers too | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:45:44 PM | | well saggy, you may like it when people name the user, but it's VERY much against the forum rules. Guaranteed this thread will be deleted, and possibly, the OP will get banned or grounded from the forums for a while... | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:56:06 PM | Well, Ms Saggy Azz..that rule is to protect folks from those who may be posting fictitious material, with the malicious intent to slander/hurt others.
And really, who cares what you think, the rules are for the majority who have a sense of honor and integrity. Of course there's the odd ball, that's part of the minority who seeks to do their own thing.
I for one, am not naive enough to believe the mess posted on this site. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 9:13:31 PM | | take a deep breath, and say to yourself...thank god for unaswered prayers... I just saved myself some time with a big loser...move on...dont look back, and dont waste another minute on the creep | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:28:51 PM | At lest half of the women here stand men up. Now you're in that position.
Don't call him. Don't email him. Wipe him entirely from your memory. If he calls you, say, "Well, I'll give you another chance, but now you're at the bottom of the queue." | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 4:55:05 AM | i'm really glad that my sarcastic sense of humour comes true so well
good lord people chill
thats what i love on these forums, people sometimes dont get what other people saying , i guess fault of postings and how some interpet what others are saying | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:18:39 AM | | i text or call earlier in the day of the meet/date to confirm its still going ahead. if no reply, i take it as cancelled. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:34:30 AM | | Texting or calling the day of the date doesnt always work. I was stood up one night too - had been chatting during the day and he confirmed the time etc. When I got home after our 'date' he text me to say he hadn't turned up because he had 'changed his mind'! WTF? | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:39:49 AM | Perhaps he got delayed while taking the garbage out for his wife.
OMO | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:52:58 AM |
well saggy, you may like it when people name the user, but it's VERY much against the forum rules. Guaranteed this thread will be deleted, and possibly, the OP will get banned or grounded from the forums for a while...
Yeap. Second that motion. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:03:30 AM | | I've been stood up in the past too. I'd generally wait about 15 minutes,try calling her,and if no answer wait another 15,then go home. I figure after that she can call me if she's still interested. My philosophy in life is "Sh!t Happens" and I'll give everyone a second chance,but sometimes you can tell the person was just a player. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:05:48 AM | The last 6 dates I've made I've been stood up on  yeah S-I-X in a row....not a lifetime. I've heard: I fell asleep, I forgot, I got caught up in a game of poker, you didn't seem interested (yet I was the one who showed up) yadda yadda yadda
I think it's devine intervention, A gentlemen wrote on a different thread that "Rejection is Gods protection" I liked that. So I'm changing up my dating style. For a 1st meet, a guy can come to where I'm already going to be if he wants to meet me. Yes even aisle 7 in Krogers if that is my plan for the day. We can get to know eachother over mustard LOL if he actually shows....... I'll accept a "regular" date. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:07:56 AM | 1. How long do I wait?
depends on how comfortable you are sittin' in a restaurant by yourself. Personally, I'd finish my omelet, and sweet tea...and then leave.
2. Do I call or email him?
Calling and shrieking hysterically over the phone is always most effective.
but, if you don't feel up to that, I like to send a long hand written letter , it helps if you know someone who could score some anthrax for ya'.
3. What would make a sane person make plans and then stand someone up?
a sane person? Maybe an accident , or a near death experience
an unbalanced person? Oh, just a maniacal little experiment, where they might be sitting outside of the restaurant watching from their car with a sardonic grin, wringing their hands gleefully and going...."Gotcha"
these are just rough guidelines though, every situation is different Beachy.
hope that helps
regards,
Kimbo
 | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:03:22 AM |
I don't use cell phones and try to call (message them) before leaving to let them know I'm on my way and what I'm wearing so they can identify me.
Why not? Do you not want to be identified? I don't get it. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:21:53 AM | | Thanks for letting me know, I will not make the mistake again of posting a screen name. | |
|
| stood up
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:22:18 AM |
1. How long do I wait?
That depends on question #2. But I would wait at least 10 minutes before calling and/or thinking about leaving.
2. Do I call or email him?
I suggest calling. But sometimes they might be driving and making a left turn or some situation where they can't answer. Or if they are on the subway, there's a good chance they won't get a signal until they get to the next station. So if it bounces to voicemail, leave a message, but then also send them a text message if they are the type of person who is proficient with texting. Sometimes the signal isn't good enough for a call, but it's good enough for a Text message to get through.
And when leaving a message, take the attitude that they just might have gotten into an accident or something like that. You're not there with them, so it's not appropriate to take an accusatory tone.
3. What would make a sane person make plans and then stand someone up?
Well aside from some emergency happening or them getting into an accident, other reasons are:
-They're stupid
-They're afraid and chickened out
-They double booked and you're not their first choice.
-They're disorganized/forgetful/suffering from alzheimer's
But having said all this, it is distinctly low-class to have something come up and not call the person who is waiting for you... unless the situation is such that you can't do that because you're unconscious. | |
|
Home
login 
