| | Who should pay for a meal?Page 1 of 1 | Given today’s movement of women being more and more assertive, independent and not needing a man to pay for them, who should ultimately pay for a meal while on a date?
I always offer to pay for both of us but am at times somewhat reluctant to by fear of offending them.
Is there a general consensus that the majority of women tend to live by? | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:39:26 AM | This depends on the cultural socialization you come from... being that this site is global, this is a hard question to answer.
I have invited someone out, I will definitely offer to pay... however, in most cases, many women always, in a cute way, play over splitting the bill or offering to pay it. or they like to reciprocate buying drinks or something...
Ive also been invited out where they insist on paying because they invited.
in europe, women are much more liberal about this sort of thing and less emphasis is put on something deemed so superficial... its just not that important.
follow up: buying dinners, gifts, etc. early on in any "relationship" isnt scoring you points... it wont make the attraction stronger, it might even make it weaker. and if it does, then take it as a cue that this person absolutely has no clue to what is going on. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:44:32 AM | Doesn't matter to me. We can split the bill or he can pay if he wants to take the old fashioned route. Old fashioned values are nice but in this instance, not a requirement. I think sometimes men feel obligated and may not necessarily be comfortable? Not wanting to be seen as a cheapskate probably. Anyway, I'm all for equity.
I certainly wouldn't be offended..BUT..the guy must not have an expectation attached to it. That's important.
And just read poster 2's comment. Yes, please guys, don't use it to score points. Money can't buy love lol. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:51:45 AM | | I am in my mid 50's and have yet to have a man who was sharing my company in a restaurant say that he was ok with us going dutch unless we were strictly friends. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:56:45 AM | | When I go out on a date, I make sure I have money to cover anything that may come up. Although I wont argue with someone who insists on paying, I like to be able to handle paying at least for my share if not more. But I will insist on paying for the next time we go out, if the person I go out with pays for it this time around. I don't find it offensive though. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:06:16 AM | Make it clear before the date.
There are pages of heated debate on this if you do a thread search.
No one will agree or give you an answer that will satisfy you.
Just do what you think you should and want to do. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:08:28 AM | | It is flattering to know that the man I am on a date is a gentleman. And I can offer to buy him a drink later simply because if I don’t offer it he might think that I am after his money or He might think that I am obligated to pay him back with something else- you know. I went out on a date with this guy a few months ago and he insisted to pay for everything. I offered to buy us a drink later but he just threw my money back at my hands. A few days later he wanted to sleep with me and I said I was not ready for that. He texted me back saying that he can’t just spend so much money on drinks and food and get nothing back in return. Now that is why I offer to pay at least my share. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:14:33 AM | It should be paid equally, that is the only fair way.
So many girls use men as a free meal ticket, or drink ticket for that matter.
It's was fair enough pre WW2 when women for the greater part if they worked at all, had a much lower pay scale. Today in developed countries we are equals by law, so lets start acting as such. | |
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xctim
| | Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 11 | |
| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:22:45 AM | | I generally think that when you invite someone out, they are your guest, and therefore you are paying for the meal - it's that simple. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:23:34 AM | I am always stunned by the reference to the women's movement. I always thought that was so women would make the same money as a man for the same job, that we wouldn't need out fathers or husbands to sign legal documents for us, that if we were raped we could go to the police and not be told we were asking for it or if we were being beaten by our husbands we could go to the police and not be told that we were asking for it. After having read a lot of literature from the women's movement I can assure you the movement wasn't based around who the eff was gonna pay for dinner.
Offer to pay for dinner. If she insists, still pay for dinner.
If this is a cup of coffee, for the love of god Man, it's just a cup of coffee. If it's dinner, make sure you go so place casual but pay for the date.
You are old enough to know better. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:07:46 AM | | Given any day's movement of women, a guy pay for a meal on a date is nice and decent, same as girl who offer to share. Girls who take kindness as offensive sounds as lame same as guys who doubt his manhood and seek a half way pay bill for fear of being taken advantage. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:12:40 AM | | I'm from the old school and if a man invites me out, I think he shows class by paying for dinner. If I invite him somewhere, I will pay. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:25:15 AM | | please do a search before starting a thread....this topic has been done to death! | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:29:58 AM | Well this is the first time I saw it in a forum..and I am enjoying this. I have no problem paying for my own meal as it allows me to be a free spirit. It also shows me who my date is and details for me his factors as to how giving, how selfish, or how broke he is. I will pay for a date in a minute. No problems here with that question. I am a very different breed however. | |
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LD44
| | Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 18 | |
| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:35:36 AM | | ALL those whiney men who complain about gold diggers? if you cant afford to date then stay home ya dweebs. do not blame women because your sorry ass is broke. I prefer to pay its the gentelmen thing to do. if a women insists because of some equal right then she can stay home for the next date or go find another guy I am a man you are a women got it ? get it? good. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 9:16:25 AM | Why must this be an issue? Why would anyone ever think that the man should pay just because he is a man? This issue gets on my last raw nerve!
I would think that a woman with any sense of herself and an ounce of self respect would want to pay her own way. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:58:33 AM | I have my own pay cheque therefore I ALWAYS pay for my own meal because I am financially capable of doing so.
Men who offer to pay risk falling into the category of a guy who expects the lady to pay him back (blow jobs and other sexual favours) and personally I never put myself in a situation that I would owe someone in that way. | |
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| Who should pay for a meal?
Posted: 7/15/2009 11:32:00 AM | Goodness - If I hear about one more "who should pay?" or "the women's movement......." - this is pathetic! If you have issues (or can't afford to) spending money, (1) don't date, (2) invite for a cup of coffee - if you can't afford that - BYOB!!!!  | |
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