| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:32:03 PM | Ok tried posting this question in profile reviews and got put in my place, literally. :)
So here's my expanded question.
My profile is fine, I've had a few women email me first which is rare. And about half of my first messages to any women on here get replies, which I understand is a really high rate. And those replies are almost always open ended and positive.
As are my replies.
Most of which I get a positive reply to... and that's where it ends. Always.
And I don't think I say something offensive or move too fast or whatever.... Just trying to keep a dialgoue going and it stops. Dead.
That 3rd message gets "Read" "Deleted".
I know I shouldn't take it personally but getting dismissed 10 or 11 times kinda takes its toll on the old ego.
Any ideas as to why all the girls who start out tentatively interested vanish. | |
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:45:26 PM | This comes up both here and on ask a guy.
Reasons that are most prevalent
1. Someone perceived as better came along
2. After further contact the person is no longer interested
3. The person is flaky and you’re better off with it ending like that
4. Chance that they aren't here to actually meet someone just to check out options.
5. They have fake pics up and aren't going to risk real life rejection once you spot this.
Relax your doing great so far. Internet dating takes time. | |
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:03:18 PM | Thanks!
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one having this issue. | |
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:08:32 PM | Sometimes people just want that feeling they get when someone new acknowledges them.
Sometimes people see your answers to replies and think you are not what you have posted or that you are not what they are looking for.
Keep trying, you will meet a lot of people. Some will be completely rude, others will be great and maybe you will get a match. | |
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:31:02 PM | | Maybe your 2nd message to them isn't engaging enough. You don't really write too much about yourself but you ARE very handsome. Are you relying too heavily on your looks and just sending back idle chit chat or are you asking them questions that require more than a 1 or 2 word response? Are you linking the two of you together via interests etc.? | |
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:33:35 PM | | Oh wait. You say you're not even fishing. Most likely these women aren't hanging around for chit chat. Maybe stick to messaging only women that are looking for talk/email such as you are. | |
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:06:18 PM | Any ideas as to why all the girls who start out tentatively interested vanish.
I read in another thread that their date had been abducted by aliens. This is probable cause for your dilema as well as the following:
* They found another fish
* They got bored
* They don't want a constant e-mail dialouge
* They are married
* They are insane
* They are drag queens
* They switched teams
* They were abducted by aliens
If you are seeing this repeatedly perhaps in the third e-mail you can ask them if they would like to meet for a drink/coffee vs. sending another e-mail.
Good luck OP.  | |
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:18:57 PM | Wow! All very helpful replies! I don't think its that the messages are closed-ended, but I could maybe link more to their interests. I think it seems as though Tenacious Forumite might be onto something. Maybe I should move faster on asking if they'd like to meet...
p.s. I've never been accused of being handsome enough to get by on my looks alone, BUT I loved hearing it :)
Thanks to all! | |
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:28:29 PM | You have talk/email as your choice of why you are here. But you have the "first date" section of your profile filled out. Which is it? If you are interested in dating, I suggest you change your preference.
Now if they are not continuing to go back and forth in emails with you, they got bored by you. It happens. If you are just trying to fill up an email so these women will keep talking to you, then you better bring something more to the table than a pretty face, buttercup. | |
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 4:12:43 PM | I think it seems as though Tenacious Forumite might be onto something. Maybe I should move faster on asking if they'd like to meet...
Thank you. For me personally I like to meet straight away. Having someone send me an e-mail inquiring about my profile and then ask me out for a drink works best. Endless e-mails, talking on the phone, IM'ing, or texting don't work for me as I don't get a vibe for someone until I physically see them in person. I gather much from the first e-mail or two. If something makes my weirdar go off I will not pursue and will fade away in to cyber land or be abducted by aliens. Again, this works for me personally. I've read endless forum posts that some like to talk for weeks on end before meeting....to me this is nothing but a waste of time.
Best of luck to you!
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| Where do you go?
Posted: 7/15/2009 4:17:23 PM | | ^^^^^^^ yes yes! state your interest in meeting in person as soon as you get the chance to. This doesn't mean you have to meet them that very day or even the next, but it does give the women more of a real sense that you might be interested. Drop the online stuff asap and take it to the real world. Us ladies are not as paranoid to meet off the internet as men generally think we are. | |
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