| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:50:02 PM | | So I'm fat. I know I need to lose weight but that's my own battle. what happens if I lose the weight and 2 or 5 yrs from now it's back on? Is it possible to find someone who could love me no matter what? does such a person exist? what are your thoughts on the matter? | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:52:44 PM | It is possible that you could find the man for you. It all depends on what the man you are with is looking for. I know plenty of guys that do not care about weight and others that are more picky. Anything is possible, well almost anything.
Good luck out there. | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:58:55 PM | Why after all that hard work would you let yourself gain it back? I've lost 50 lbs in the past 2 years and while I gained a little bit back because I'm extremely busy with work during a small period of the year, I would never let all that hard work just slip away.
The only thing I can think of is that you're only doing it to find a guy and once you've found him will stop trying. There's your mistake right there - don't do it for anyone but yourself. Focus on doing it for your health and well being. Some guys won't care, some guys will - but you won't find that out until it's too late anyway. | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:59:27 PM | I would be hesitant to date somebody that lost a lot of weight unless they had a metabolism issue like thyroid or made changes and kept it off for a longer period of time.......my experience is that people often go back to old ways...
"Loving you no matter what" is kinda a non-starter as far as I am concerned....How about why you wouldnt want to keep yourself up for your guy...seems selfish although it seems to be a common way of seeing things... | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:02:27 PM | Try having some confidence that your winning personality will attract the right person!
My advice: Spend some time on your profile. Personally (and maybe it's just me), I can't stand when people will fill up the 'Interests' section, and then list their interests in the 'About Me' section. Redundant! I want to know about you! Not a repetition of what you like to do. 'I love new challenges' = good. (Maybe an example, though?) 'I'm outdoorsy (listed under camping, swimming, etc.)' = NOT good. How do you react in certain situations? What do you want to do with your life?
It's a one way street when it comes to physical appearances. You're going to gain scars, wrinkles, disabilities. The right person realizes this and appreciates the beauty of the entire package! | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:03:03 PM | Yes they exist. If your in an LTR for several years most people aren't going to wake up one day say your fat now I'm leaving you.
It would be helpful if you put up a pic of just yourself on your profile. I have no idea which of the two gals in your current profile pic is posting this message. | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:03:40 PM | | My thoughts are that you should develop a lifestyle to stay healthy for life, not just until you meet someone and hook him. | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:07:03 PM | | I appreciate the comments. And I don't necessarily disagree with you. I'm not saying that I would put all the weight back on but for example if I were to have a child, most women don't lose that weight overnight. Then what? My friend lost a bunch of weight an d was a size six when she started dating her ex. they had a child and she hasn't been able to lose a lot of the weight she gained. When he left that was one of the reasons he gave, was because now that she's fat again he's no longer attracted to her. So then what? | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:13:29 PM | I've been trying to ad other pictures of myself but pof keeps telling me the file size is too small or something. But until I get it figured out, I'm the one on the left.
And I should also point out...I'm not losing weight to find a guy. I'm losing weight because I want and need to. | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:21:11 PM | Good, as long as you're doing it for the right reasons.
Your friend's ex is a tool. Most guys will expect that it takes some time to lose the baby weight, especially given the added time constraints of looking after a baby. | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:01:47 PM | There are some men who like women for who they are; no matter what size they are!
Finding such men does indeed take time as this site offers plenty of people to choose from to see there is a connection. | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:14:31 PM | | To be honest, i wont date a size 16 or less... unless there personality was really special. Bigger women are so much more attractive and to see it as something wrong with yourself, unless its having detrimental health effects, isnt the way forward. Once your happy with who you are other people will be . | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:16:56 PM | ya sure you could. but you have to be realistic. no guy is gonna make you feel loved if you don't love yourself. if u r worried about the weight do somethin about it.
but to us guys. honestly once we are in lover we see our women as the most beautiful ones. you just have to believe it when a guy says it to you | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:19:33 PM | ^^^^ that is such a wonderful thing to say and you are right we just have to believe what the man says...
There are no guarantees in life.
I think you have to understand the man you are with... and don't be with a man who only loves you because of your size...
~Charmed~ | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:33:52 PM | .. of course there is... but the problem with dating sites is that people look at pictures first and then decide if they're going to read your profile. When I first put my ad on here I decided no pictures because I though I'd find someone who would love me for who I am.. Mwaahahha man was I wrong. not one message or views !! I no longer daydream like that anymore.
Don't get discouraged and it's not easy waiting to meet the right guy but finding a life mate is probably the hardest thing you will do in your life ...it's probably easier to get a phd.
..almost forgot .. never settle  | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 5:24:51 PM | | Abosolutely , you have a great chance , just can't give up ... Love yourself and don't worry about your body so much , it would be healthy for you to lose some weight but don't do it for anybody but yourself and your health . Somebody will appreciate you for who you are ... | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:23:01 PM |
So I'm fat. I know I need to lose weight but that's my own battle. what happens if I lose the weight and 2 or 5 yrs from now it's back on? Is it possible to find someone who could love me no matter what? does such a person exist? what are your thoughts on the matter?
You look pretty succulent to me, but you're far away.
About the losing weight thing. Most women who lose weight automatically dump whoever they're with because they want to see if they can get a better offer. I've seen this happen time and time again. It's even happened to me, but the men they found were schmucks, so they came back. | |
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| Do I have a chance at finding someone?
Posted: 7/15/2009 11:26:54 PM | Of course. I see men with fat women every day. I see women with fat men every day.
The absolute worst thing you can do is get overtly self conscious and outgoingly defensive (and I'm not saying you do this, I'm just brining it up). In my opinion this is one of the most annoying and unattractive traits a person can have. On the flip side, haven't you ever seen that women who's really fat but super lively, friendly, openly sexual, and even though she's fat, she gets lots of sex and guys are attracted to her? Yeah, go be that woman. If you don't let your weight bother you then it wont be a problem. I know it's easier said than done, but you dont need the body of a pop star... you just need their attitude. | |
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