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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?      Home login  
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 jnnoman
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 1
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?Page 1 of 1    
This site has a reputation as being a "dating site". Some of us, simply want to meet new people we would otherwise never have the pleasure of meeting. But, in these situations, are you girls thinking, somewhere deep down, that we are really just looking for more anyway?
 CutiepieHoneybunch
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 2
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 4:51:36 PM
Yeah, and usually that 'more' is the horizontal mambo. Stop contacting women who have 'dating' or 'longterm' as their goal. Its only going to make things tough.
 harmonyharvest
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 3
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 5:02:25 PM
Yes, I do believe that some people are just looking to hang out. I do not just believe this but have met a few individuals that have proven this to be true. Although this is a dating site, not everyone is on here to date. People are all at different stages in their lives and seeking what it is that will fulfill their current needs.

I have been to many meet and greets organized by other POF members on this site. The walks and bowling nights have been the best for me so far, as this gives people a chance to socialize and meet new faces without any strings attached.

Sure, some are thinking more or wanting more....but if someone says that they are looking for friends, then I do not try my magic wand and change the scence.
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 4
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do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 5:11:49 PM
I think it depends on the person/situation...

Of course, there are men AND women on this site that use a certain term, but are looking for something else...think about the potential amount of people on this site who use "dating"...but they REALLY are interested in intimate encounters or a FWB!?! I have known women who used other web sites who usd "casual dating"...when they KNEW they had a definite timeline and really was on a mission for "the ring/wedding/house/kids", so it can go both ways.

I briefly spoke with a guy on this site that chose "haninging out"...but he is from Europe and had just moved here less than several weeks ago for his job...not only is he looking for friends, but wants to date as well...

A couple of years ago, I almost moved to Hong Kong for my career...I probably would have done the same thing...wouldn't I need to not only get used to my new surroundings, but get acclimated with the "social norms of dating" of my particular area?!?

Putting aside people who use this term but have a false agenda, I look at it as the person would be potentially interested in dating someone IF everything was there...but if they happen to encounter someone and it becomes more of a friend type of situation (no sex involved), then they are cool with it too.
 Denise51781
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 5:42:33 PM
Some men are looking for more- and we are well aware of it. But I have no problem with the idea that someone might just want someone to hang out with or make friends with. That's what I want myself. It isn't that I don't know I will eventually get married again, but let's face it- I am not likely to meet my future husband here. It could happen, but it just isn't likely.

So, yes I know that there are people here for social reasons that have nothing to do with sex or dating. Or people, like me, who don't mind dating but really want friends out of it- not lovers.

We are cautious, though, because we don't know you yet, and there are some really nasty perverts out there. I really don't understand why a guy who wants sex doesn't just go after the women who are offering it, but some of them are really determined to force the issue with women who aren't interested. We always have to get to know a guy in ways that might seem a bit paranoid at first. We aren't trying to insult you. We just need to observe you a little before trusting you. We are well aware that you could be exactly what you claim to be.

Denise
 fabfemale2
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 6
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:08:26 PM
To you and other guys who may be looking for "some sack action" there are sites designated just for that. I believe one is called Booty Call.com.. there are more.
Perhaps you are not ready for conversation or commitment so why not hire a professional? They are out there too.. even online. I don't judge but perhaps you may be on the wrong website. Personally I want to get inside a guys head before I get into his bed.. just saying..
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 7
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do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:14:32 PM
I assume they mean what they say. If they want different, then I guess they'll be disappponted a lot...seems sort of unnecessary, but perhaps they have a lot of extra time on their hands. *shrug*
 jnnoman
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 8
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:20:43 PM
well... I guess my initial concern has been realized in full! It's kind of disappointing that I am automatically seen by you as someone looking for some sack action. Seems that a reputation has been built for guys on these sites, so for those of us THAT ARE LOOKING for simple friendship, I guess it is only time that can tell our true story to those we interact with.

To be honest, I am straight out of a string of a couple of long relationships and would be overjoyed to make friendships that I don't have to worry about turning into something else. Anyway, I just wanted to make sure that finding a fun girl to simply hang out with wasn't going to be something impaired by the fact that, apparently, all guys are pigs
 fabfemale2
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 9
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:29:18 PM
So WHY would you even ask this question if that was not what you were implying??
Excuse me but now I am confused.. no, I did not call YOU a pig... those words never left my lips. I was simply answering your question as honestly as I could and yes, surely you are AWARE that many guys are only interested in "sack action". duh..
 jnnoman
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 10
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:48:20 PM
I was asking the question, as I mentioned in my followup post, because I am on this site to meet people I can become friends/hang out with. I just wanted a fair analysis from the female population on whether us honest guys were labeled nonetheless, and guilty til proven innocent. And it seemed like you were quick to give such a verdict. However, I guess we were both misunderstood...
 fuggin_nutz
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 11
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:26:00 PM
Thank god your not looking for long term...... there a 1 in 200,000 chance that you will even get a date. So the odds of making a friend are 1 in 1,000,000 here.

Good luck with that. Most women believe there is an underlying agenda men have.
As one mentioned, the horizontal bop. I prefer the term bumpin uglies.
 expat57
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 12
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do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:27:27 PM
You might find meetup.com an interesting way to meet and make new friends who like doing what you like..
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 13
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do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:27:52 PM
Since I am sure you're not just looking for women to hang out with
(that would be odd if you just wanted women), I doubt anyone will mistake it for anything else. You should be fine.
 Silent Steel
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 14
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do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:40:06 PM
I am actually on here for friends, and seem to do just fine. Besides, I think each guy in the world has an aloted number of hard ons he can have in his life, and I dam sure dont want to waste mine here...lol
 Notsureboutyou!
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 15
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:40:50 PM
I wish you lived closer lol. I like just hanging out also. A few friends and I started a meet-and-greet once, a few years ago, and it was fun while it lasted. So ... this is my suggestion to you ... if it's available in your area, join in on the parties and get-to-gethers, and if there isn't, see if you can get something going. It IS hard to do at first. For every 50 invites I sent to locals, I usually only had 1 person say maybe ... but I persevered. Our group of 14 locals once joined a group of 100 out of town POF'ers and it was GREAT FUN! Enjoy the site, there are many that will find you innocent!! :)

(my local meet and greets are at the bottom of my 'in box' but you can type in meet and greets under forum topics and do a search)
 zephyrmoon
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 16
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/15/2009 9:44:27 PM
Yes, younger men and women typically really are just looking to hang out, maybe watch a movie, order a pizza. They seem uncomfortable with more structured styles of dating and the implied seriousness of it.

And then there are older guys who are looking to hang out -- naked. Those guys should change their profiles to read "intimate encounter" or even "other relationship") as their goal.

If you are really looking just for a "friend," they do have "friends" as an option.
 JustNeedMore1962
Joined: 3/19/2009
Msg: 17
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do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:40:50 PM
I can vouch for meetup.com...it truly kicks ass for those who are sincerely looking for socializing opportunities of the platonic variety....at least in the Baltimore/DC area.
 ohboy25
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 18
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:42:50 PM
I look at it like if a guy puts "hang out" or "friends" on his dating thing, It's just a way of saying, I'm not sure what I want yet, and if I meet the person I want to be in a relationship with then I'll choose from there. I don't pay it any mind for the most part, its just a uncertainty as far as wanting a solid relationship or dating.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 19
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:48:36 PM

Yes, younger men and women typically really are just looking to hang out, maybe watch a movie, order a pizza. They seem uncomfortable with more structured styles of dating and the implied seriousness of it.

I find it hard to believe that anyone needs to search a website to find someone who wants to eat a pizza. I think it's more the case that someone wants to believe that's the intent.


And then there are older guys who are looking to hang out -- naked. Those guys should change their profiles to read "intimate encounter" or even "other relationship") as their goal.

That applies to women as well and probably moreso, since women are less likely to want to br perceived in the way that those two categories imply.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 20
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do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:51:30 PM
The vibe you give off will tell them all they need to know.
I have plenty of friends on here.

And it's understood as exactly that.
 zephyrmoon
Joined: 5/30/2009
Msg: 21
do women honestly believe guys who just want to hang out?
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:48:36 PM
Dear Abelian -- While it's very flattering that you like to follow me from thread to thread and try to pick apart whatever I've posted, it would probably be more helpful to the OP (and more appropriate for the forum) to address their issue, and not the other posters. As in, me.

You have your opinion? Fine, then go ahead and state it, as I have stated mine. You don't have to agree with it, but you do have to remember to address the OP and his/her issue, and not me.

Do your best. You can do it. I know you can.
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