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 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 1
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When the reply to a first email is vague...Page 1 of 1    
I have sent a few first emails to guys here and had vague responses saying something short like "your profile is nice too" and they leave it at that. It's so vague it doesnt seen like they are interested. Is this the case? They don't leave an opening for any more chat or communication. Are they just being polite or what?
 Steve_CHO
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 2
When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 3:26:53 AM
It takes two to keep a conversation going. If you open with an email and get a response that is vague you can simply send a reply and note something specific you might want to know about. If the guy wants to maintain the conversation he will do the same. If he doesn't he is just being polite but he is not interested in taking it any further. Remember, most guys don't chat for the sake of chatting. If you have a question ask it and we will do the same.
 CptIronJack
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 3
When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:06:02 AM
steve nailed this one, if 2 emails don't get a conversation going, drop it. But don't be to tough on guys either lol if the email ends with 'hi I'm ..." that may be the opening to see whats on your mind
 Bubbais51
Joined: 11/4/2007
Msg: 4
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:16:04 AM
Some things should be clues as to what people would be like if you ever lived with them. Speaking of vague replies as you listed above. You would get the same in a relationship.

I want this new SUV...reply..yep

Im on my period...reply..huh.ho bout dat

Can we eat at that Mexican restuarant tonight?? reply...we'll see bout it

The toilet is broken..reply..use the neighbors

Vague replies nearly always also lead to Vague people and cause a Vague life.

Oh..the chips fell on the floor...Ill get it later
 chrystalriver
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 5
When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:30:25 AM
I can see why the guys tell you that your profile is too vague. You have the word sex and than it takes a bit to get to the good stuff - most guys dont want to do the guessing games. so perhaps lose a few blank lines in between the sex and the rest of your profile??? just a sug.
 chrystalriver
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 6
When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:32:33 AM
You could always put your profile up to profile reviews. You have alot of information to give without really saying much.
 Millard_Sedwig
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 7
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:41:54 AM
I do hope you are open to constructive cricizism.

Your profile is like your social resume. Would you tell a potential employer all your struggles and flaws before ever even being hired? I hope not.

An excerpt from your profile... "To Save you men a lot of time so you don't have to grill me with questions looking for my flaws I will just list them here." This is not a good way to start a resume. If the first thing I knew about a person was all their flaws I most likely wouldn't show much interest. I am accepting of flaws but need to like a person and will grow to accept flaws as they present themselves. Disclaimers that might not show you in a good light might also be a bad idea. Write with confidence. Confidence is attractive and can be easily detected in one's writing. Be careful of sounding too needy. Guys like to fix things and rescue women but will run if too much baggage presents itself. Tis better to make a guy feel needed than to actually need him.

I've noticed how much effort and detail you've put into your profile. As informative as it is, when someone know's this much about you it leaves less mystery to discuss. You might want to keep it shorter and to the point. Write something in there that will leave a person in suspense and craving more. Leave the little details for once interaction has been acheived.

I hope I've helped. Good luck.
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 8
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 6:52:45 AM
I don't want help with my profile and that isn't what I asked about.

Their replies are vague, not my profile.

When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:07:47 AM
If they dont ask a question, it usually means no interest....
 oldskool67
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 10
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:19:14 AM
well..unfortunately you are at a disadvantage at this point because you cannot see the body language of the person you are talking to. If it were a "live" meeting...i'm sure you would be able to detect whether there is interest or not and if a follow up question is warranted.

with that said, I think at this point the ball is back in your court as to whether to attempt to continue the conversation. regardless to what his thinking is, its pretty obvious that he is being indifferent to your first contact email (here is my response, take it or leave it).

so, I would assume the percentage of not interested is really high at this point and my suggestion would be to move on. however, as I said, the ball is now back in your court and if you decide to email again....the next one better be mindblowing.

good luck
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 11
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 8:47:32 AM
OP: They may just be being polite and not really interested.

Or, they may not be good with communicating in this fora.

Silver-tongued devils don't always have silver-tongued fingers!
 Millard_Sedwig
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 12
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:07:22 AM
My response was only based on what I saw in your profile.

If you had written me and I had read your profile, my answer would have as well been vague. You are certainly beautiful so it's not for a lack of physical appeal. So if it's not your appearance thats not catching attention...

Regardless, I wish you the best.

Take care
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 13
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:46:10 AM

Are they just being polite or what?

It depends on what YOUR email said. If your email was short and lacking any kind of question/s, etc. (Hi, you have a nice profile.) or something like that, then you'll probably get the same in return. I know that I've been contacted by women in that manner and I've responded the same way. If all they wrote was, nice profile, or just a few words, out of politeness I'd probably "blow them off".

However, if your initial email/s have a little substance to them & you ask questions, etc. and are still getting those types of responses, then I'd say they probably aren't interested. Trust me, when a guy is interested, there's usually no mistaking it.


EDIT:

I don't want help with my profile and that isn't what I asked about.

Uh... yeah... no offense, but IMO you need help with it. I didn't look at it before I wrote my initial response, but if you contacted me and I read your profile, regardless of your looks, I'd probably politely "blow you off" too. Again, don't take offense. I'm just telling you how I (and apparently at least one other guy here) feel about it.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 14
When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:53:51 AM
If you've given someone enough to work with, then he ought to be able to say something intelligent. If not, assume he's an idiot or is waiting to figure out who you want him to be.
 lonesomerick
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 15
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:08:15 AM
Why not just reply with "your email seemed a little vague, would you like to chat?

How simple is that? You'll either get a response...or you won't.
 NerdStatus
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 16
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:30:43 AM
Some men don't know how to respond to emails very well - some men aren't all that interested. Hard to tell which they are from just one round of emails.
 tropicalknights
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 17
When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:52:53 AM
The first question I have to ask is; how vague was your e-mail? Did you ask any questions, or say anything about common interest? If you ask questions the other person will tend to say a lot more, if you just say hi it kind of leaves ya wonder what to say back. If you write a really good opening e-mail that leaves an opening for more chat and communication and they respond with a couple of words then they may not be interested.
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 18
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 12:12:07 PM
Hmmmm...Frankly I'd hate to get a huge list of questions. If you know too much what ever will you chat about if you meet?
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 19
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:22:00 PM
people who initiate maximize their chances of starting a conversation if they send a strong opening email. when i've gotten 'i like your profile' or 'i like your pictures' or, most creative of all, 'hello there,' i don't hold out much hope. when it's clear some effort went into the message, i sit up and take notice. like she's seen something in my profile that resonated strongly, so she wrote a few paragraphs.

good is not necessarily long, though. the most successful opening email i ever got read: 'you look crazy in a good way. take a look at my profile.' she and i dated for while.

but yeah, i'll only spend about two emails doing all the work. if she's responding with the equivalent of grunts at that point, see ya.
 jmim
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 20
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:42:33 PM
I get that from women too.
I think it basically means you sent a good message.
But they just don't like you.

Though I think worse than that is actually having a good conversation with someone and then they all the sudden stop. My guess there is it means, "You are too interesting not to ignore. But I am still not attracted."

Seriously, have you ever gotten a straight up, forward/direct message saying, "I am not interested?"

I havent. But last time I checked I wasn't an alpha male.

Though I from time to time straight up reject people. The problem with that is since everyone else is passive agressive, if you do it straight up its going to hurt the other person a lot no matter how hard you try to be polite.

I personally would pay for straight up rejection.
 MrPlatonic
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 21
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When the reply to a first email is vague...
Posted: 7/16/2009 2:36:51 PM
Since their responses tend to be reciprocal, you should consider asking a question instead of issuing a compliment. Maybe it will yield a response that is similar in approach.
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