| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/16/2009 3:38:07 AM | i was talking to a member of the opposite sex recently, and she asked me what my biggest regret in life was........this had me thinking.....for quite a while actually.....thinking through things that have happened to me and things i had done.....then i got to thinking.....all the things that i have done and all the things that have happened in my life, have made me who i am today...and im pretty happy with who i am....so...why should i regret any of it really?? i must admit i have done som epretty stupid things in my life....but i have learned from it all, and it has made me grow into who i am now, so in thinking about it, i came to the conclusion...i dont really regret anything i have done or anything that has happened.
does anyone else have this philosophy (dont know if it is much of a philosophy lol but its mine hehehe)
if you are happy with who you are now, and what has happened previously in your life has made you the way you are.....should we really regret any of it??
just wondering | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:15:15 AM | Well this got me thinking too.
I guess for me I don't really have any regrets - there are however things I may have done differently if I had my time again, but I don't regret them or how things have turned out.
My mistakes, successes, trials and tribulations have made me who I am.
The only thing i really regret these days is when I forget to wear an elastic waisted skirt to a buffet or get a night out and have that last drink that I knew I shouldn't have had but did anyway -  | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:22:28 AM | Regrets.....I have a few......But then again too few to mention......I did what I had to do......And I saw it through without exemption.....
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:38:48 AM | I know your leavin's too long overdue
For far too long I've had nothin' new to show to you
Goodbye dry eyes I watched your plane
Fade off west of the moon
And it felt so strange to walk away alone
No regrets, no tears goodbye
Don't want you back, we'd only cry, again
Say goodbye, again | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:50:18 AM | mmm oh let me see....have I got any regrets ????.....yeah...at last count about a billion and twenty.....and if I had a buck for everytime I said.."if only" well we all know how rich I would be..........................
however
Apparently your only suppose to regret what you havent done..so I do tend to go.."to hell with it" and jump rite in..sometimes I make the rite decisions...sometimes I dont...but I know before I shuffle off this mortal coil I will have very few regrets left because I am determined to do it all ....without regret...... ritely or wrongly... | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/16/2009 5:29:16 AM | Was having a joke with a mate about the movie "yes man" and I boldly offered up that I could do that for a day....say yes to everything!...banter ensued and we settled on $50 as a good wager.
A man of the more feminine nature was earwigging on the conversation at the next table, he watched us shake on it then casually walked over
looked me in the eye
and said "suck my D@#K"
so anyway now I have an extra $50 for the weekend, and a couple of regrets.......
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:57:44 AM | ^^^
I have many regrets, and as each year passes I add a few more to the collection. By now I should be loaded down with regret for lost opportunities and stupid decisions I've made. However, I have found that one of the benefits of aging is memory loss.
"Geez, I've made some stupid decisions... where did I put my handbag? Lost opportunites, hmmm... where are my car keys? What day of the week is this?"
I really can't spare the few remaining brain cells I have on regretful thoughts... not if I also want to remember what I'm supposed to be doing on any given day. | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/16/2009 4:02:20 PM | | I regret that I had to go thru divorce court but other wise ... well it's not for posting here . Oh well then , I regret that iam only 5ft2 inches in height and I won't grow amy taller but then again that's had its advantages too ..... yep , mostly it ain't what you ain't got it's just what you do with what you do got ! | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:13:58 AM | although, I understand the meaning behind.. I am who I am from all my experiences thus far, If I changed anything, I would'nt be me.. in this form..etc etc..
Yep That philosophy, got me through a few years...
But I have taken time out for self examination, why relationships etc break up.. numerous other things.. at various times over the years.. ya know...get to know myself.. I regret Im a slow learner and the amount of times Ive spent celebate.. while Ive contemplated..
well, I have regrets...
1. I regret, taking up an addictive habit, called smoking at such a young ..ill informed age.. and I regret, My mother was'nt warned about it.. yet told it was safe back then etc..(but I learnt to tell every kid, never to try it.. or smoke.. I give good kid lectures)
who knew it could stop me finding love at 44.. (I only found out on this dating site.. and I can't blame people for hating smoking..)..
or now were told we were lied to it really is bad and now your a social leper..
2. I regret.. some things I've said in my life......once again at ages ..fully unaware of impact on others.. or long term consequences..(I learnt, to try and not react in anger.. with words.. that words can hurt or destroy .. like a relationship)
3. I regret, not knowing the stages of life young... or that men and woman really thought/react etc so differently.. I regret not knowing back then how to communicate)(just figured we were all human.. some just happen to be male or female.. or... etc)...
if Id known that.. ...........woulda been bloody handy..
4. I regret some things ive done.. and can'T take them back.. nor change them..
but I can think before I do anything. what the long term consequences might be..
Ive not been a saint... But I hope Ive learnt to become a better person each day.... and share what Ive learnt to the younger ones.. and maybe help them.... keep their relationships strong/happy..
but maybe not.. maybe those stages.. need going through.. so we can forgive the ones who also said.. or did.. things they too might regret to me...us..
I regret, not balancing my life earlier/younger.. in looking for a companion/love partner... but wait for various reasons...
I will regret if I never ever get to fall in love with someones soul and them with mine.. and hopefully sort all the other crap out through patience/open minds .. and just progressing.. slowly but naturally..
I regret not having a beer.. while I contemplate my regrets..
ohh well..
peace | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:14:46 AM | My main regret is jioning Plenty of Fish
Some observations on POF experiences.
Female Profile compared to Reality
40-ish-----------------------49
Adventurous------------- Slept with everyone
Athletic-------------------- No boobs
Average-------------------- size 16-20
Beautiful------------------- Pathological liar
Contagious Smile-------Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure----- On medication
Feminist-------------------- Fat
Free spirit-------------------Junkie
Friendship first-------- SEE Former *Adventurous* person
Fun---------------------------Annoying
New Age------ Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded------------- Desperate
Outgoing -------------------Loud & embarassing
Passionate ----------------Sloppy drunk
Professional--------------- **** (ouch)
Voluptuous------------------Very Fat
Large frame ----------------Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate ------- Stalker
Attractive--------------------------- She must have hit every branch in the ugly tree when she fell out of it.
Honest ------------------------EXCEPT for Profile Content.
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:42:20 AM | | What a poor sterile mind is expressed here . Everybody deep down tries to hide what they see as their deficiencies ... women and men.... where is your compassion for your fellow seeker of love on this little planet ? Listen to Soulmate . | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:47:14 AM | Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
blah blah blah words words words
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!
Yeah the last post I did on another thread.
May just come back to bite me | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:00:37 AM | ^^^^^^ hope you've had ya shots...
im kidding.. fully,
going back to read my post about my learning about words/regrets..
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:41:16 AM | do I have them?.... no..
children/heirs.... that is......
I could regret that in time..... though it's not a given in life... (he tries to tell himself).... a few of my friends are in the same boat..... however .. a damn good reason to be here to watch them grow up, learn 'em gud,embarrass them socially, .. take them surfing , get them sf'ed... etc....... to be able to hand all your accumulated junk over at the end .. to someone that might have a bit of you in them,,, sigh...
I never did believe the fairytale view of evolvement.... or outcomes....
I spent life doing all the things I didn't want to sit around regretting as a old fella.... with a modicum of success.... and I sure could tell "someones" grandkids some stories..... | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/17/2009 8:26:22 PM | Oh seeker of love.
.
I agree it is human nature to deep down want to hide ones deficiencies (provided a person is in touch with ones self inner soul to know what they are)
Blatant lying is a touch difference I would suggest.
My point is
If you (sic) are not honest with yourself how can you be honest with any one else?
How can one find love when one is dishonest from the start?
I will never be an obsequious victim..
Supercilious might be more appropriate ... but each to their own.
x
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:09:18 AM |
I will never be an obsequious victim.. .....obviously not into dominatrix
Supercilious might be more appropriate ....heavily into projection of denied male inferiority complex. Wanna go out on a date....pmsl???
Dang it haven't heard the word obsequious in a long time.....I regret that most men do not use the english language enough just abuse it...tis hard to form a relationship with a monosyllabic grunter.
I thought the comment by Pookie was apt, that regrets are supposed to be what you have NOT done. And I have a container load of those which I try on the rare days of self contemplation to balance out with the things I HAVE done. Mostly I regret being so utterly englishy polite and not saying what I thought of certain people. It is scarey at first but the long term benefits far outweigh socialising with not nice but influential people. I regret not listening to my instincts concerning others and then suffering the consequences for sometimes the whole of my life. But I do not and will never regret kicking Mandy in the stomach cos she was a mean bullying B*tch even if she had just had a kidney transplant she deserved it BIG TIME....(we were 7 and she so over exagerrated cos even now I pack the punch of amputated flea). I do not regret finally standing up for myself and **** slapping my ex in public.....man that felt good even if I did end up with a criminal record......proof that bullies are whining snivelling cowards, I regret not doing it 15 years earlier. There are some things I have written on POF which has had me cringing in "where was your self preservation and public personae?" but then funnily enough those post have elicited some lovely emails from people all over the world and I cease to regret being a too honest, theatrical, loud mouthed individual. So if Mandy by some pure fluke is reading this.....I still won't say sorry and will stay in my metaphorical bedroom for eternity rather than lie and say you are a nice person. | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:50:29 AM | | Show day in Samford, took my kids and blew a bundle of cash, while the boys were on the bouncy castle, i chatted to a lady with pretty green eyes.......i think i regret not giving her my card........... | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/18/2009 6:52:46 PM | My point is
If you (sic) are not honest with yourself how can you be honest with any one else?
How can one find love when one is dishonest from the start?
That principal/theory...I learnt decades ago...
I concur... Cannot agree more...
I personally think in principals/theory/logic... latteral..
I always watch how well someone knows themselves as they tell me they are..
perception of self also = perceiving others..
how can I hope to understand/love know someone else? if I donot know/love or understand myself?
So when I meet anyone.. (they always tell you who they are..what they're about)
I listen on many levels...(without emotion).... then over time...especially years, in my friendships..... to observe if they know themselves.. in telling me who they are...
most sadly don"t..
I listen to how they talk about theyre.. exes.. theyre friends... etc..
because it's all fine and dandy, if someone is emotionally liking you... but they will ultimately treat you.. how they have told you they treat those they have loved... or had liked..
eg.. someone tells me defrauding tax.. (not loopholes.. rich people know loopholes..legally).. but defrauding/ etc.. ) or con ideas.. they tell me they are not trustworthy..
everyone has a vice..... they will never treat you better than, themselves.. whatever someone will sell integrity for... is their vice..
re·gret (r-grt)
v. re·gret·ted, re·gret·ting, re·grets
v.tr.
1. To feel sorry, disappointed, or distressed about.
2. To remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow; mourn.
v.intr.
To feel regret.
n.
1. A sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone.
2. A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.
3. regrets A courteous expression of regret, especially at having to decline an invitation.
edit.. when someone evolves into' knowing'... articulating on many levels... past mistakes... then past stories.. are lessons and they now treat others differently..
If that was not the case.. then mankind would be doomed... so yes we can live/learn..make mistakes become different..
if we don't... then.. our past will dictate the future..
change thoughts..reactions= change of character..
peace | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/19/2009 3:52:39 AM |
when someone evolves into' knowing'... articulating on many levels... past mistakes... then past stories.. are lessons and they now treat others differently..
If that was not the case.. then mankind would be doomed... so yes we can live/learn..make mistakes become different..
if we don't... then.. our past will dictate the future..
change thoughts..reactions= change of character..
peace
Oh bugger it, does that mean I have to say sorry to Mandy, or does it mean that due to the syncronicity that rules my life (I blame Miro and Dali and quasi christain judeao budism) that I am going to meet a wonderful man who has had a kidney transplant and I will despite my maturity kick him in the stomach???? Suppose tis better than the balls.
Have to agree that knowing yourself is exceptionally paramount if one is going to attempt to know someone else...but not always...there are some mysteries that are ultimately paramount to maintain ignorance within an intimate relationship.....like not picking your nose or smelling underwear to check if it is clean. | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:56:53 AM | Mr Esensualman
nail on the head, ripper
it is a shame when women have a distorted view within themselves and try to hide it behind a play of words, and/or descriptions/falsehoods? about themselves when all is needed is some good old fashioned communication..
Loved your post E | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:14:46 PM | OP:
The regret factor is something that helps enhance one's life;I suggest that we
all attempt to learn from the experience.And we may repeat in good faith
the errors of the past but it is vital to care about ourselves and never be too hard
on ourselves;We are 'children of the universe' A La Desiderata.
It is essential however to never compromise personal integrity and fully accept the
responsibilities created from such errors.
In doing so we are completely true to ourselves;how else can we ever be true
to anyone else;our personal integrity intact we proceed against all
adversity!
Individuals without regret are very special;I personally claim no such
privilege and bow in humble acknowledgement to such (pristine) individuals. | |
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| regrets??? do you have them???
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:30:25 PM | Individuals without regret are very special;I personally claim no such
privilege and bow in humble acknowledgement to such (pristine) individuals.
When I met my best friend... I found out she was perfect... how? b/c she told me..
I had said to her that everyone had said or done something to hurt another at some stage..(some pple negate such thoughts, by comparing wrongs... a wrong is a wrong..period....and therefore everyone needs forgiveness.. at some level..
see? me? I think in theory/principal...
or by blaming.... listen when people blame.. its everyone elses fault... it was all circumstances...)..
so if someone tells you a past story.. they did something wrong.. but it was everyone elses fault... they admit no wrong...
theres always reasons we do what we do.. even justafiable reasons.. but not blame...
blame is differ..
when a person takes responsibility for hurting others even a simple word.. they acknowledge..circumstances..reasons.. but never blame.. they admit their part was in the wrong)
So she turns to me and says... no, IVe never hurt anyone in my life.. and I therefore don't need to forgive nor need forgiveness..
I said ok.. You therefore are perfect, and have blown my theory.. thank you.. Ill rethink..
Overtime.. she told me many stories, about her life..... at one point. I said, and how do you think those words.. affected that person?.. have you considered, they might have hurt them?.
She said.. well I never thought about it.. maybe they did.. I said... IF someone had said those words to you.. would it hurt you?... her answer..yes..
I then met best friends mother... she also was perfect.. how do I know? b/c she told me...
My question to both of them were.. Is why do you both live in guilt? operate from guilt?.. if your both perfect?...(nooone can make you feel guilt if youv'e done nothing wrong)
anyhoo, my best friend just left after a visit here.. And we discussed alot of issues.. and she knows im writing this.... her husband .. takes no crap.. and shes learnt.. shes not perfect.. her words can hurt.. etc..
she has gone from a hard heart/mind..(but soft /teachable soul).. to learning to acknowledge others feelings/impact she has..(b/c she is a very beautiful person)..
and....... is now vulnerable..b/c she loves her hubby, and if she wants to have a happy/peaceful/harmonious relo.. she has to confront herself.. and admit wrong/sorry hurt./.....
anyhoo, we just had a great laugh.. discussed her grandma..(who was also perfect..) and the impact down the generations of never admitting hurting anyone..
and as my best friend.. sees this stuff. her marriage blossoms.. her mum..(who I love as well, and is also my friend)... has less guilt ..impact on her..
her skin has cleared up..( I used to always know when she was stressing/guilting.. b/c she would get skin problems.. )
IT also ties into.. if someone knows themselves or not.. eg her grandma was married to a part aboriginal man.. they have aboriginal blood.. her grandma never knew this... she does not like aboriginals.. (her generation)... so you could ask.. how could someone not know they were married to an aboriginal? and not know it?
easy .. not living in truth/fact...
peace | |
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