| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 6:04:55 PM | I understand that we're all uniquely different therefore each one of our profiles has somewhat of a different vibe (and rightly so). But have you come across a profile that is so negative that you wonder if the person is looking for a date, or here to see how many people they can scare away. Any of the following comments bug me-
-I hate...
-Don't bother messaging me if...
-So and so type people disgust me...
-If you don't like my profile then f off...
Are these people lacking in social grace or is this normal? Also, do I just ignore their profile or politely message them to let them know what kind of vibe people are getting about them...a couple state clearly that they have been single for a long time so I almost want to do them a favour. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 6:10:52 PM | OP - I totally agree with you.
I don't get it either. It's just as easy to say what you are looking rather than be negative, in a rude way on top of that and say what you're not looking for. Boggles the mind.... | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 6:30:10 PM | i say never message someone to tell them they're shooting themselves in the foot. let em show who they really are, warts and all. that may be just the thing that attracts someone, or it may be what saves someone else from folly.
i've been sorely tempted a few times to message women with glasses of booze in every photo to say hey, you're making yourself look like a lush. but if she IS one, why would i want to help her hide that? i figure i'm doing other guys a favor. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:07:24 PM | I know what you're talking about...
If you run into that kind of profile, the best thing is to just ignore it and move on. Most of the time, those people just LOVE the whole internet drama thing. They dramatize any little thing people say about them, are desperately seeking attention, create problems where no problems exist, etc...
often times it's a hotty with tons of people who have favorited her. It's a huge ego trip thing. The people who add her to their favorites only add fuel to the fire.
On the bright side, there's plenty of hotties who are ARENT like this, but rather are pretty cool and easygoing people.
Edit: the only reason I keep mentioning super hotties is because as a general rule of thumb, they're the ones with profiles like that. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:53:36 PM | | I say why not? It's hard to stand out in a medium like this anyways, so why not make your profile as obnoxious as can be? Ultimately, this whole experience is like one cruel joke for men. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 8:13:14 PM | | the things that turn me off are im independent (god made more than one person so we can depend on eachother)what thay are saying to us they dont want no one. an when they say im pretty means to us your shallow an stuck up .women seem so self centered an hollow | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 8:15:52 PM | i have definitely seen profiles that would make me run away. imho, the authors of such profiles have probably had negative dating experiences, and have given up on finding a match through online dating. they just don't care, but don't have the guts to just delete their profiles. the alternative theory is that they are just so arrogant that they fail to realize how unattractive their posturing is, and how poorly it reflects upon them.
so...it's definitely not "normal". just ignore them, and click on the next match. remember, your mission is to find a suitable match, not to tell others how to conduct their lives. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 8:24:53 PM | One of the silliest profiles that I have seen was where the man wanted to know why fat women LOOKED at his profile.
Let's get real! So, fat women--or any type of woman or man--are supposed to have radar or psychic ability that tells them to NOT look at a profile because the guy doesn't like them?
That had to be the stupidest. whiniest item that I have seen on a profile.
And OP, I wonder whether I should contact people, as well, to let them know how they might appear to others, and several times, I have. A couple of them responded gratefully, some didn't answer, and at least one didn't answer but did change his profile. Funny. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:49:08 PM | | I think they do it to chase off as many people as possible, when I see a long list of must be and must not be I just move on because being human I know there is no way I'm going to meet all their demands. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:20:20 PM | I think it's funny when people begin the section "About Me" with "what I want in the other person". I thought it was the toddler age that thought the universe revolved around them.  | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:48:24 PM | That's why I'm a bit dicey about the profile reviews forum..
A totally illiterate, rude person with a bad attitude can change their profile to something they're really not with a bit of advice from well wishing posters.
So, in the end the profile becomes something that does not represent the real them, but heck it looks good. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:35:32 PM | far too often i've come across a profile that made me think 'Oh yeah! That'll really bring the ladies running!' i've often wanted to ask said people if they've actually met anyone.
most times i just figure they've been having some difficulty dating and feel the need to make such profiles.
but on the plus side, i'm glad they do this as then i know who to avoid.  | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:00:09 AM |
A totally illiterate, rude person with a bad attitude can change their profile to something they're really not with a bit of advice from well wishing posters.
So, in the end the profile becomes something that does not represent the real them, but heck it looks good.
i hear you. i contribute to a fair number of profile reviews since i edit text and images for a living. there, my job isn't to change what the writer says, only to make it clearer.
it sucks that a lot of people on this site who could bring a lot to a relationship are hampered because writing doesn't happen to be part of their skill set. i'm willing to give most people the benefit of the doubt, and the really obnoxious ones don't seem to ask for reviews too often. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 10:30:28 AM | ^^^lmao
I've talked to people on the phone who left me wondering 'who wrote their profile'. It's like two different people  | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:29:03 AM | I'll be honest I know my profile is long and fairly ridiculous.. but it's also honest and funny.
I've had so many messages from guys just commenting that they know they aren't what I'm looking for but, the "profile rocks and the honesty is refreshing".
While I agree a huge list of DON'Ts or HATES is annoying, an honest list of characteristics the person is looking for in a mate is helpful. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:39:28 AM | Any profile with the phrases...
Soul mate
The One
Prince Charming
Knight In Shining Armour
Someone to Complete Me
My Better Half
Makes me run | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:54:45 AM |
Even notice that the people who state "no players" and/or "no head games" are usually players and head gamers? LOL
Wow! The other day I started a thread making this same exact point and someone cried and got it erased. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 11:55:24 AM | It comes down to making your profile something that you want the person you are looking for to read. If you make it sound like it is written to the people you DON'T want, then even the people you are looking to attract will be put off by it.
I think a lot of those chicks type up those profiles out of frustration becuase they are tired of being bombarded by Mr. Wrongs. But of course, a lot of them are just bitter and negative and it shows in their writing. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:04:01 PM | Liveletlive
Nice post. Agreed hands down.
Seeings how im here for the forums I usually dont look at too many profiles. I catch
them here and there. But yes, Ive seen a few like this and thought.....good lawwwd.
Then you have the opportunity to check out their last 5 posts as well. *Thats* always fun.
Altho Im well known for being quite forthright and a bit snarky myself..... I just deliver
it better than others. Puffs out chest.  | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:04:30 PM | I have a negative profile.
Funny thing is..its gotten me more positive emails than my other one did.
I say all the wrong things for the right reasons and for some reason it works.
Profiles are a personal thing. People write what they want....it's a choice
whether or not you're attracted by it.
Not sure why people worry about what others write...especially if they
aren't interested. Maybe the profile is written so some people will run
away?
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:20:24 PM | | I would not contact someone with a negative profile. I'd also not want to date someone that doesn't understand when not to engage strangers and try to fix them under the guise of helping make the world a better place. It displays subtle control issues they may not be aware of. | |
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| Profile makes you want to run away!!
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:17:06 PM | My profile makes everyone run away.
Im very proud of it. It took two years in the making. It is a culmination
of a treatment I experienced. I flipped it and made it look like me.
Do I care what you think - obviously no or I would change it.
Will I change it - eventually because I always change it up.
I think it expresses me as HOW I am - not WHAT I am looking for.
I dont think I need to spell out what I am looking for. Im here - I
will know what I want when it emails me.
I have emailed people here and told them that I thought something on
thier profile might hurt them here and they actually took it to heart and
changed it - so yeah some people are sometimes just not sure what to do
here and sometimes a little friendly help does help them out - I mean really
when I came here I had no idea what to say or what to do- I winged it like
most.
I cant sell myself - meeting me sells me. Getting to know me sells me.
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