| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:37:35 PM | Gentlemen,
Recently I had an old friend announce to me that he was engaged to be married. I was thrilled to hear that he found happiness. In the next breath he told me he still fantasizes about me when making love. This confuses me since we were only just good friends. My questions to you are.
When you fall in love with some one to want to marry, shouldn't be only here you think about when making love? Or is it okay to fantasize about another woman? Do you men have fantasies about women you are friends with?
Thank you for your imput. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:41:24 PM | | Fantasies are great!!! Whatever one fantasizes about silently whether they're married or not is okay. I still fantasize about things from when i was age 12 from years ago or age 28 or any age in my life that simply still arrouses me. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:46:38 PM | I certainly can't say i blame him...your beautiful.. :wink:
That said Fantasies are a part of life, i think there healthy and most certainly natural. Only when people blur the lines between a fantasy and reality is when people get hurt. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:46:40 PM | | The problem isn't what he's fantasizing about. It's that he decided to tell you he was having fatansies about you. It sounds like he was throwing it out there to see if it was something he could act upon. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:47:27 PM | If people always only fantasized about the person they were dating/marrying.... Porn wouldn't be such a big business.
Edit: I do agree with the guys... he didn't need to tell you he was fantasizing about you. He could have easily shared this information with you before he got engaged... yet, he waited till now to let you in on the secret? Red flag... you may have to end the friendship. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:48:09 PM | shouldn't be only here you think about when making love? Or is it okay to fantasize about another woman? Do you men have fantasies about women you are friends with?
Its okay to think about others as long as he isn't acting on it. That can actually heat things up with your partner quite a bit.
Answers for the second part. Yes if you have a decent imagination you will have fantasies about female friends, strangers, coworkers, neighbors and anything I have left out that involves seeing or being near females. As long as your not acting on it, it falls under the heading of no harm no foul. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:49:28 PM | | Men and Women have fantasies pre-marrige , married and post married, in some cases the guilt of thinking of others that would be unobtainable due to your marrige status adds to the fantasy. As for telling you.. well look out you could be his stag night treat ;]. But yes telling you would suggest he is gauging your rection to it before popping the "how about one time before im married" question. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:55:26 PM | Uh no… we never fantasies about other women when making love… that would be a no-no! Okay fine, truth be told we often think of other women when making love not because we don’t love the woman we’re with but, rather because other women had turned us on at aome other time. It’s not to say that the woman we’re with does not turn us on but rather that another woman turned us on in the past that help in our love making at the present time.
Think about it, if you REALLY like a new dish you had the night before, does that mean you will no longer enjoy the mere thought of a good meal you had the week before? | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 12:56:35 PM |
I think there is a more serious issue here other then fantasizing. Why did he feel the need to inform you that he does fantasize about you? Writing that you were confused, since you were only good friends, tells me that you had no idea. I think he crossed a line by telling you that he fantasizes about you. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:04:58 PM | | Thank you gentlemen for you imput. I made it clear to hear that I was not going to make any of his fantasies come true. Especially now that he was with some one. I can understand having fantasies. I guess I was just weird that when I was married my fantasies involved new and exciting places to make love to my husband. Again thank you for your imput. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:05:14 PM | yup.......in my deepest most private thoughts......one day i will meet darryl hannah and sweep her off her feet.
i real life....anyone i've ever cared enough for to be intimate with ,my thoughts are more........"darryl who?" | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:24:27 PM | Hey, in all fairness he may have just been trying to give you a compliment... some people might find it endearing that they're being thought of in that way...
Nah... he was trying to bark up your tree.
JS | |
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eric r
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Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 14 | |
| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:29:56 PM | it's "input" not "imput",
and if i were in a committed relationship and fantasized about a female friend while being intimate it would probably make me feel guilty a little bit. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:33:39 PM | In your case, he's being a slut and wants to whore around with other girls.
In general, having thoughts of other people is perfectly natural, as long as you don't act on those thoughts like your friend did. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:41:04 PM | I think your friend was throwing his fantasy out there hoping you'd bite. Probably since he is getting married. What I'd like to know is what you replied back to him... It seems like it would be an awkward thing to throw into a conversation.
"Hey I'm getting married!"
"Congratulations! That's great, the two of you make a wonderful couple."
"You know... I've always fantasized about you."
"Oh... really... um... I've always wondered... what the population of Bolivia is..." | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:05:25 PM | Chiwrtr72
I told him I was very happy to hear about his marriage to be. I also expressed my concern that he was fantasizing about me when he should have only thoughts of his future wife. But thats only because I did not understand this was a normal thing for most men. I then refused his visit to see me since he stepped over the bounds of our friendship. Like what several posters added it made me feel like I would have just been a final fun send off before marriage. Not sure how to proceed with that friendship. Well that is another issue in itself. Thank you for the question. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:13:01 PM | He wants to screw you.
I don't understand what you cannot comprehend about that.
Guys do not want to be "just friends." You should smack him in the face and tell his woman what happened, otherwise you're just smacking yourself in the face taking that kind of disrespect. | |
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| should you still have fantasies?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:27:03 PM | | Here's what it really really is. I know i'm the expert on all women. Him fantasizing was because you mentally willed him to do so!! Men never really fantasize about women, it's because a woman does things in a mans past that made him fantasize. Years ago before he got married you planted nasty thoughts in his mind that are now only surfacing. Men are all innocent like i am. | |
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