| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:40:07 PM | Met a guy a couple of months ago. To say we hit it off immediately is an understatement. We talked and reacted to each other as if we had been friends for years. I guess the intensiveness of how quickly we connected (no sex) sacred him and he soon told me that he wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship. He wanted to cut it off all together but I kept contacting him and we started communicating as just friends. The bottom line is I became obsessed with being a part of this person's life and really over did the phone calls, emails and just plain "being in his face" whenever I could find an excuse to be where he was. I know I should have been patient, I should have trusted that if things were meant to be, it would work out. I should have just been happy we were friends. The last email I sent to him must have been one too many. He has blocked me and I have no way of letting him know I've learned my lesson. I know I was way out of line in the things I said to him. We hadn't known each other long enough. I should have kept my mouth (writing figures) shut. I know I can't take back what I did. I learned a valuable lesson the hard way and I'm kicking myself for it. I lost a wonderful guy.
I'd like to contact him again (after waiting awhile) via a phone call. Guys, what do you think? Should I just try to forget about him? If I didn't think he felt something for me,I would be able to walk away without a problem.
Help, I don't know what to do. I know what I want to do. I want to go knock on his door, but I'm afraid that would push him even further away. | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:42:44 PM | Yeah, I'd say that you've pretty much blown it with this guy, but you can still use the learning experience in a future relationship.
JS | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:44:25 PM | | Showing up at his door unannounced is prolly not the best thing to do. I would give it a few days and then maybe shoot him a text, to see how hes been. If he liked you as much as you lied him, then he should reply; after all its just a text. | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:47:14 PM | I don't see any way around this..
Just imagine if some guy was doing this to YOU...how would YOU react if he called you after awhile.
You lost him, I know...IT SUCKS.
Try to move on, and IF he wants to see you, he will contact you
best of luck in your future relationships. | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:47:54 PM | HAH! There's a word for people like you... STALKER. My God, I had one woman do this to me after I told her that I wanted to break up and her actions left NO doubt in my mind that I had made the right decision. Can you spell PSYCHO?
OP, if I were you, I'd leave the guy alone and seek professional help for you obsessive behavior/s. Your actions are in no way normal and if you continue, you're going to end up in jail, institutionalized, or worse...
EDIT:
I'm sorry, but you people who are telling her to wait and then contact him again have obviously never been on the receiving end of this type of behavior. It not only RUINS any chance of a reconciliation, but it also makes you start to question your own judgment for getting involved with someone like this to begin with. I'd bet my house that the guy wants NOTHING to do with her ever again and by telling her that he might, you're only fueling her psychotic fire. Come on people, wake up! OP is half a step away from being a bunny boiler and the last thing she needs is advice telling her that she still might have a shot with this guy. | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 2:51:25 PM | If you want any chance of him communicating with him again you need to prove you can control yourself. You need to give him some time and space before even attempting to contact him. Give him 3 or 4 weeks. Then apologize to him and let him know you've had some time to think things over. Make sure he understands that you get where he is coming from. If he seems receptive, ask him if you can call him again. If he agrees, ask him when would be convenient. If he is not receptive, let him know that you are open to a phone call if ever he's interested and leave it at that. If he calls then you know not all is lost. If he doesn't then you'll need to move on. No matter what, you need to play the game his way until you've regained his trust and prove you can control yourself.
Good luck. | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:13:46 PM | You're a psychotic stalker. No, I am not kidding. You're one step away from a restraining order as well as being dangerous to yourself and others.
You have demonstrated no redeeming qualities whatsoever to make this man ever want you back.
Am I making myself perfect clear? | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:25:59 PM | Hanging on when there is no hope to speak of is counterproductive for you to be happy. Best to move on. Easiest way to do that is to keep yourself constantly busy at improving your own peace-of-mind. Be it work, school, hobbies, joining a support group, etc. Introspection is gold. Use it.
No matter how wonderful you perceived things, please keep in mind that this was only your perception -not his. If that wasn't the case then he would have behaved differently. So would you really want to continue hurting yourself over someone who is not compatible with you? | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:28:27 PM | | I would kill for a girl to do all that... seriously OP find someone that apprechiates that sort of attention, dont run after those who take it for granted. | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:43:22 PM | have you seen the movie "He's just not that into you"....if you haven't please do. The man in the movie helps a woman understand the dating signs signals. His main point is "If a man is into you he will contact you"!! So so true....
You went way way overboard. Take the advice here and learn from it and move on! I think you need to ask yourself some very serious questions. For example; why do I feel like I need him to want me so much? What is it about him that I can't be without and I am so obsessed about? Is it because you are scared to be alone? time to start looking within! Don't and I repeat Don't contact him....... | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:13:38 PM | | What ever you did was way overboard, your only hope is fate now, if you accidently run into him in a store and I do mean accidently. Otherwise let it be | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:15:02 PM | Seriously, get some real help....
or volunteer work..... No more dating until you know how to know yourself, control yourself. Yikes.
Women hate this when it happens to them. Imagine how he must feel. Better luck next time. | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:23:42 PM | hey
message from a woman
did he encourge contact?
or did you have to plead to just be pals?
yes its amazing how somtimes peeps just really really hit it off on first few dates
but sometimes not ment to be
go out enjoy life.......be complete in yourself.......for the day when you say I don't need anyone in my life to be complete is the day when you are ready to offer the world to another
because then it's a choice to give what you have....not a need to fufill in yourself
hey we all been there .......don't beat yourself up about it....get upbeat and go enjoy life honey....
take up sports and clubs and meet new peeps | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:35:01 PM | The thing you may be missing is that it's not the guy you were "obsessed" with. You may be empty, anxious or depressed. This infatuation could be pathological, I don't know. The most important thing for you to do is get some help. I think you may do this again. It's important to be an individual, meet your own needs, have your own life outside of any guy.
I would tell you not to date anyone until you find out what's really going on inside that caused you to do this.
DO NOT CONTACT HIM EVER AGAIN! Get help and move on. | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:37:40 PM | my god... you smothered him like a fireman smothers wild fires! You should have taken the hint when he said he wasn't ready to be in a serious relationship. But no you just kept emailing, calling and just generally you were constantly there. Just learn from what you did and NEVER do it again. Some people like the smothering but most can't stand it. People need their personal space.. especially if you only knew him for a couple of months. Your coming off and extremely desperate and needy.
To answer your question, no I probably wouldn't talk to you again. | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:10:02 PM | the bad news it that you've scared this guy enough that he's decided to cut off all possible communication, minus the phone (you should hope.)
however, the good news is that it sounds like you've hit rock-bottom, so there's nothing to lose and everything to gain! if you're lucky, he hasn't bothered to go and change his number over something as trivial as this.
i wouldn't just show up at his place and say "surprise darling!" i'd likely go with the phone approach first. but give it a few weeks, maybe even a month, before trying to re-establish contact. hopefully, this will be enough time for him to cool his jets and give you another chance at redemption. goodluck :) | |
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| would you ever talk to me again?
Posted: 7/17/2009 5:32:22 PM | | Just... leave him alone. Don't "accidentally" bump into him anywhere, don't call, don't write, nothing. Imagine how upset you would be if some guy you didn't want to hear from at all kept pressing and pressing and pressing and pressing the issue. It's no wonder he blocked you. Don't go on any dates for a while. Take a step back, take a look around, and make sure you have your own life before you try dating again. You might not even realize it, but you're desperate and it's not attractive. | |
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