| MAIL (MALE) ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:37:45 AM | Ok Girls you're gonna hate this but I'm going to say it anyway.
This guy at work turns up with a Ukraine Bride he has met on a romance tour. He's in his late thirties and his bride is 2 years younger and has a child from a previous marriage - this is important because he's not one of those men that goes out and gets a bride 20 years younger.
He got a load of stick about this but his line was that he could not live up to an English wife's expectations (financial etc.) and he did not want to spend the rest of his life lonely. His bride had much lower expectations from life and is therefore not as materialistic as English women. Simple things that we take for granted like a owned home is a bonus to her.
2.5 years later they are still happily married and she works. She speaks quite good English and he speaks a little Russian. She visits home regularly and her son has settled well in an English school. She always counts her blessings which means she is generally happy and gives her a strong bond with him.
Given that apparently it's a darn sight easier than trying to find your ideal women here, it's less expensive, and if you choose intelligently (i.e don't pick a young floozy if you're 50, go for similar intellect, interests etc.) it has as much chance as working as any relationship with a English woman. Would you consider this as an option, if not why not?
I am going to reserve my opinion for now - but I will say that I have not considered a romance tour | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:40:33 AM | You might want t change MALE to MAIL because reading that I thought your mate had bought himself a ladyboy over the internet  | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:45:28 AM | | This was intentional - and ladyboys count if you like that sort of thing | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:46:55 AM | | You've got to ask yourself at the end of the day...what would a woman from one of the poorest european (or soon to be) countries see in a man from one of the wealthiest?.....if you can live with that nagging feeling that she's not with you for your sparkling personality or rugged good looks then i don't see anything wrong with it....but it is more of a transaction than a relationship and hardly romantic. | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:53:37 AM | Good point shabba but I believe when English women pick their man it's not just rugged good looks that count.
Is a skint, poor, slob with no future that just happens to be a hunk going to find love here - I doubt it, women will only be with him for sex.
Also bear in mind that looks are guaranteed to fail during the aging process but security can last forever.
Only playing Devil Advocate - I still reserve my opinion.  | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:53:58 AM | Some people are lonely. They don't like the picture ahead of them if they are going to be alone for the rest of their days. If they haven't had much success finding a mate here I would think why not?
They're not bothered about finding the "perfect" partner. A companion as a partner is perfect for them.
i just know that scenario is not right for me. From past experience that there are certain qualities that are important to me. I would rather be on my own than have to live with someone I didn't love, respect and find physically attractive.
I guess I'm quite lucky (not wanting to blow my own trumpet here!) that I have had enough relationships and offers to know that I don't have to be alone. Maybe that's a reason why we get picky? | |
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Pud78
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Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 7 | |
| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 1:58:15 AM | | I would want an equal and be with somebody who wants to be with me and not with what I could provide and wouldn't consider it personally. I would imagine in some cases it can work very well and there may be mutual love and respect but I would expect that isn't the norm. | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 2:08:04 AM | I believe when English women pick their man it's not just rugged good looks that count
I'll agree with that but i think there are lots of different factors to attraction and i'd like to think wealth would be a long way down the list, obviously in some cases it stands out like a sore thumb...peter stringfellow for example
Is a skint, poor, slob with no future that just happens to be a hunk going to find love here - I doubt it, women will only be with him for sex.
A skint, poor slob isn't much of a catch anyway is he? and would you want a woman that had only been with previous partners just for sex anyway?
Maybe it's a question of degrees of wealth, a seriously wealthy man in this country will have plenty of offers from pretty young things, someone who is simply well off won't...unless he goes to a country which is much poorer in comparison?
VVVVVV
mutual love and respect? na i wouldn't trust anything that was founded on what she thought i could give her in terms of a better life, my local indian reataurant sends me a xmas card every year but i'm not deluded enough to believe they actually like me. | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 2:09:56 AM | mutual love and respect
Ok you've tripped my opinion - my reasons are similar:
It's missing the golden courting that puts me off - without courtship how can love develop?
But in the case of my work mate love clearly has developed, mind you they are a very well matched couple I must say.
Shabba peter stringfellow needs cash, no one would touch that knobend without it hehehe
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| MAIL (MALE) ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 2:16:16 AM |
Given that apparently it's a darn sight easier than trying to find your ideal women here, it's less expensive, and if you choose intelligently (i.e don't pick a young floozy if you're 50, go for similar intellect, interests etc.) it has as much chance as working as any relationship with a English woman. Would you consider this as an option, if not why not?
No.....never.....ever!
His bride had much lower expectations from life and is therefore not as materialistic as English women. Simple things that we take for granted like a owned home is a bonus to her.
Actually, I suspect that these women are MORE materialistic than English women. They have 'traded up' by moving to England, where life is potentially better for them.
If that weren't the case, then surely they'd want their English husband to move to Ukraine/wherever?
Nah, these schemes are just a simple way of getting to live in this wonderful country. | |
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sjxx
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Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 11 | |
| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 2:18:49 AM | I think this sounds really sweet. Ok so maybe 2 and half years is not very long but if it seems to be going well so far then there is every reason to believe it will continue to do so. How or where they met is irrelevant if they are happy now. Some of you guys sound a little cynical, women on the whole are not after you for what you can give them materially. Some of us dont care about stuff like that  | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 2:23:06 AM |
Some of you guys sound a little cynical, women on the whole are not after you for what you can give them materially. Some of us dont care about stuff like that
Moi cynical?? the vast majority of women are not after anything material but in some cases it's blindingly obvious! | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 2:46:40 AM | Apparently, the vast majority of men is the Ukraine are either unemployed or alcoholics or both. You can buy anything over there that you can here so i dont know if it's a money issue or just seeking a steady secure life.
Also I just found out that this dude knew his wife for a year before they got hitched so they did court as such. | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:04:38 AM | I probably would give this a good think over, after all whats the difference between a bint living 5miles or 2000miles away?
dont think that many could knock it as we are on a tinternet dating site lol wonder how the bints would like the competion of well groomed, healthy and can hold a conversation from eastern europe? Sounds like their relationship is working and good luck to them i say. | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:08:32 AM | | I think it's called evolution and survival of the fittest. Attractive and bright people are always going to have a far better chance of finding a mate, we're hardwired that way | |
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Scints
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 16 | |
| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:29:24 AM | [I probably would give this a good think over, after all whats the difference between a bint living 5miles or 2000miles away?]
I'm sure the difference would be that someone living further away wouldn't mind you're repetitive, condescending, irritating, repetitive,..did i say repetitive, repetititive use of the word bint. Change the record, eh? | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:36:17 AM | As the world has gotten smaller through the internet and affordable air travel then opportunities to meet possible partners have increased.
Some find the case given by (OP) to be unacceptable.
Ten years ago online dating would have been considered by many to be unacceptable.
A hundred years ago it was probably considered unacceptable to marry someone outside of the village.
We are living in a changing world. | |
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sjxx
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Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 18 | |
| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:44:49 AM | Peter you are so right. About 8 years ago my cousin from Texas married a woman from Manchester he met online. How weird we all thought it was and said we could never imagine having to do that! But had it not been for the web they would never have encountered one another and had ooh 6 months of blissful marriage. He is about to try again for the 3rd time, again with someone he met online. It is now totally acceptable to admit you met online and I dont think the method in which you meet someone matters. Only what happens next matters  | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 3:59:55 AM | I guess I'm quite lucky (not wanting to blow my own trumpet here!) that I have had enough relationships and offers to know that I don't have to be alone. Maybe that's a reason why we get picky?
I agree. Rather be on my own than with someone who I am not physically and mentally attracted to. There needs to be a meeting of minds, I don't believe that I could find that connection with someone who has a vastly different background, outlook on life, values, morals...
I would want an equal and be with somebody who wants to be with me and not with what I could provide and wouldn't consider it personally. I would imagine in some cases it can work very well and there may be mutual love and respect but I would expect that isn't the norm.
Note: not sure if I've got this "quote" thing right... will know once I click on POST...!!
 or  ???!!! 
EDIT: Whoohoooo!!! | |
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Pud78
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Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 20 | |
| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:03:46 AM | The world is a changing and our views to the best way to meet someone have changed too. Meeting somebody was just something that happened either whilst out and about or at work but we realised it was easier to do it from home and could have choice and be selective. In the main you are meeting people with the same background and your equal and know that if they agreed to meet you for a date they wanted to meet you.
Women aren't exclusively materialistic but there are some that are the same as some men are but with a russian/thai or mail order bride there would always be a nagging doubt they don't love you and with you for your money and the better life you can give them, is that really a good basis for a marriage?
The woman effectively becomes a slave and if she doesn't have equal say and status in the relationship then she is oppressed and she may be hot and sexy but that isn't a relationship for me.
EDIT* corrected typo - cheers Peter! | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:22:47 AM | P78 (20)
You quote: "... they don't love you and with you for your money and the bAtter life you can give them...."
Are you suggesting domestic violence here?!
To suggest that all such brides become slaves is undoubtedly an inacurate generalisation - I'm sure some brides might experience this whilst others go on to enjoy a loving and fulfilling relationship.
EDIT P (22):
it would depend on how you define inequality. As I see it each has something to offer... they are therefore able to 'compliment each other'. Of course there are those that would wish to exploit the position, but not I believe, all | |
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Pud78
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Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 22 | |
| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:29:44 AM |
To suggest that all such brides become slaves is undoubtedly an inacurate generalisation - I'm sure some brides might experience this whilst others go on to enjoy a loving and fulfilling relationship.
It is a sweeping a genralistaion and I am sure many relationships do work this way and can lead to loving relationships, but I think it is based on inequality and one having power over the other and though slave may not be the right word it doesn't sit right with me at all. | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:33:14 AM | I don't see anything wrong with people meeting like this if they are happy, however, the comment about English women having unrealistic financial expectattions seems to categorise everyone as the same, ie materialistic, when not everyone is like that.
The underpinning theme I got from the first post was that somehow the woman he married should feel grateful for him rescuing her from a poorer life. Not much equality there if that's the case.
Perhaps he could feel grateful to her for rescuing him from a lonely life as was also indicated in the first paragraph.
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:39:14 AM | | I'm afraid I just can't agree with this post. English women are hardly materialistic at all compared to Ukranians. I spent a month working in the Ukraine. We went to a few bars and clubs and without fail the first question the women would ask was always "are you rich" or "you're from England, I bet you're rich". | |
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| MALE ORDER BRIDE!!
Posted: 7/18/2009 4:52:07 AM | | I can think of now fate worse than to be financially dependent on someone else, made worse by being in another country! What if he wakes up one morning and decides the culture shock is now too hard to handle....hope she signed a prenup. | |
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