| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:48:54 AM | i was with my partener for 9 years one sunday he deceided he couldnt take anymore and he walked out i was 6 months pregnant, 2 weeks after he left i lost the baby now 5 weeks have passed he plays mind games then says he is sorry but he doesnt want us to try again after all, and he cant go back to how things were, i have tried everything to sort it out but got no where, should i just leave him alone and let him make the first move or should i move on? i know he hasnt greived properley for our daughter because i have not given in the chance with the constant texts i was sending him i have not phoned or text him now for 2 days am i doing the right thing  | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:52:35 AM | | It is you who needs to go on. He is gone and he doesn't care. So it's time for you to go on and care for yourself. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:56:50 AM | | id move on,i know itll be hard but if yous ever did get back together it wouldn't be the same to much has happened i think,im sorry to hear about your loss by the way. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:07:49 AM | As hard as it is you have to move on....I think you may always carry some resentment and blame him for the loss of the baby. He has decided you are not the one for him let him grow and learn if he comes back and wants to try and you want him back then start fresh. Everything is far to fresh and raw take some time to reflect on him and your life with him you may find this is the best thing for the both of you....
Good Luck | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:08:45 AM | | Your still with him? Someone who chose to walk out on you and while you were pregnant? If it was me I'd would have sent him on his way permanently the day he walked out on me! | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:15:00 AM | | I really hope you're not considering taking back someone who walked out on you when you were pregnant from him... there are millions of other guys, and about 99% of them have more class and decency than that. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:20:08 AM | I agree with honeyangel.
I would have never walked out on my unborn baby's mom. No matter what! For whatever reason it was he chose to walk and is not there for you now. Maybe he had something on the side. Now he is not there to console you on your loss. He is a real piece of work that one. Be glad that he has left. Take your time to grieve and keep your family and friends for moral support. It will help.
Sorry to hear of your loss. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:30:23 AM | Walked out on you while you were pregnant?
Now there's a man I'd want to hitch my wagon to again.....yes sir-reeee.
OP I don't mean that as harshly as it might have sounded, really.
But.....your hormones and emotions are all over the map at this point, give them a while to settle down and you'll think more clearly about everything.
And you seem to be blaming yourself for the way he's acted/acting and making
excuses for him, i.e. saying that "i have not given him the chance with the
contant texts" WTH?
Now, I don't know WHY the real reason he up and left you when he did, but his timing
sucked a big one to put it bluntly and you seem to want him back? Good Lord!.....there's a few things more I could say but for now I'll stop ....... | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:42:40 AM | Reading between your lines, it looks like there was a brief attempt at reconciliation.
Most of the time, a sudden departure with little warning (less than two months) means that the other person has found another relationship. The brief reconciliations happen when they realize that the new relationship isn't as perfect as they'd built it up to be while they're still "trapped" (their perception, not reality), and when they get over that, the reconciliation is over.
He's gone. Find someone who loves you. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:44:38 AM | OP, let me change the thread title to reflect my life:
"9 years and then she leaves"
Yep, after nine years of marriage, she just walked out and left. Hey, it happens to us all.
The best thing that you can do is to just learn from the situation and deal with life as it is. I know being pregnant and all definitely adds hardship, but at the end of the day we have to lead our lives. Hey, I did the "what did I do wrong" thing too, and just came to the conclusion that beating myself up over it didn't do any good.
The last thing that I would do is take him back or think about what I did wrong... but that is me. I'd go on living my life the best I can. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 9:41:45 AM | I might add, that NO MATTER what was going on between you, or what led up to his leaving, for him to leave effectively without warning or an attempt to fix the problems, ESPECIALLY when you're carrying his child, just plain isn't honorable (for you younger folks, it's in the dictionary). No matter how miserable he was, no matter how trapped he felt, no matter how miserably your hormones may have acted up. He owed both to you and to the man in the mirror to stay at least through that, and to make some attempt to fix it before leaving.
A Pearl Harbor departure means that you're not at fault. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:30:23 AM | There is something that someone gave to me when I was distraught at some point in my life .. which reminded me that if someone can walk away from you let them go. It means their time in your life is over. Why waste energy on someone who is capable of walking away from you?
Are you going to invest all of yourself to fix things proper just in time for him to walk out again?
Nope take whats left of your life, your youth, your beauty, your intelligence, your spirit and your heart .. and invest it in yourself until such time as you meet the one who will stay.
He might have done you a favour you didnt have the courage or strength to do for yourself. Take the blessing and run with it girl.
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:43:25 AM | I agree with all of the responses.
You are doing the right thing by letting him go. Keep it up! | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 1:52:08 PM | | thank you maybe spending 9 years was a waste in my heart, i know i am worth more i just feel as though i am breaking up inside | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 3:36:45 PM | | HE is a loser. he didnt just walk out on you he walked out on his child also. what is your malfunction women? why would you want that sorry excuse for a man | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:02:57 PM | well if the guy leaves you on the first sign of big commitment , walks out on you when you're pregnant , he does not want to try again , why do you even want to try again ???? that will only lead you to your own unhappiness ,
move on , you'll eventually find a better MAN | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:05:42 PM | I doubt he just decided"one Sunday".
But he sure picked a hell of a time.Wipe that sh1t off your shoes and quit texting him.
You do not know he is greiving or feeling anything.
As stated before "your hormones "are all over the place, so it is understandable you are feeling confused.
Sorry for your loss. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:05:49 PM | This is the time when you need to be "in the compound", that is, surrounded by family and your closest friends.
Turn the phone OFF. No texting. You need to sit and talk FACE to FACE with your family and friends. You need IN-PERSON attention right now, not taunting from some selfish clown. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:37:56 PM | | Healing starts today. The sooner the better ... whatever weeks or months it takes (or years) then the sooner you start the sooner it will end. | |
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| 9 years and then he leaves
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:44:24 PM | OP ~ You need to be talking to your friends and family. I would guess that you are in a pretty emotional state (with him leaving and the loss of your baby). The last thing you need is an ass who plays mind games and might, just might take advantage of this moment to worm his way back.
Make sure you have emotional support and make sure you keep this guy out of your life. | |
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