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 patrick quad
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 1
Paralyzed Page 1 of 1    
is it that bad being paralyzed ..because im ONLY ever friend materal..can no girl on this site see past that..ya i know itd be harder but no one has given me a chance in over 4 yrs..i mean i dont really get
 LincsYellowBelly
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 2
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Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 12:32:31 PM
First of all normal guys without your condition find it hard on here, so I imagine it would be more tough for you.

I would maybe try and meet people in real life, are there any groups you go to or any hobbies you have? Maybe easier to try and meet someone that way.

Good Luck.
 HouseKitten86
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 3
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 12:56:00 PM
Actually I'd imagine the reason no one gets in touch is, beyond you being paralyzed, the fact that your profile is bitter and negative and focuses entirely on your disability.


Profession: paralyzed


guess what im a cripple, deal with it


be shallow who isnt


f anyone does judge a book by its cover you are pathetic


I can understand why you might feel so negative but by changing your profile to be so confrontational, negative and nasty, you are basically telling any woman who views your profile - 'hi, there is nothing worth knowing about me besides the fact that I am disabled. If you can't find me attractive despite that, you're a horrible person.'

I assume you were using a more positive profile until recently. If I were you I'd go back to that, as in do a full rewrite, and head over to the profile review section so people can help you improve on whatever you start with.
 LincsYellowBelly
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 4
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Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 1:11:10 PM
Just looked at your profile and I'd agree with housekitten that you need to re write it, you sound very angry, bitter and resentful.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 5
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 1:28:10 PM
I recently got into with a cripple on this site. I agreed to meet him with no intentions to date.

He asked me what would I like to do once we get past the meeting stage. I gave him a few examples of what I like to do for fun, and he told me that he couldn't do any of the activities I mentioned (which included bowling), apologized, and said he would understand if I no longer wanted to meet.

When I told him good luck in his search, he got all PO'ed, and called me shallow. Telling me that if I knew he couldn't do the activities I mentioned, then why did I agree to meet him.

I will NEVER make the mistake of offering to meet a cripple again.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 6
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 1:29:26 PM
Double post.
 anjelic
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 7
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 1:37:42 PM
By listing it as your profession and having a pic of you in bed, it seems to me you are shoving it in their face that is all you are.

People with cancer or amputated limbs don't list that as a profession, just seems odd to me.

Be cheerful and interesting to talk to. Mention her interests ect.
Delete the bed shot.

Like said before attitude!!!
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 8
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Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 2:05:07 PM
Patrick, I would suggest that you change your screen name, get rid of "Quad", it's like you are defining yourself by your condition. It's a terrible thing to have gone through, I don't minimize it, but you're defeating yourself by being defensive in your profile. It's rough, but I wish you good luck and lots of love in your future. Keep the faith.
 Coastergal
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 9
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Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 2:10:42 PM
Pretend you're not paralyzed and READ your profile? I'm truly sorry for you that you had an accident. You need to let your personality come out in your profile not throw it in women's faces. It's hard for everyone to find a great relationship, if it were easy no one would be single!
 Ronin no Sakura
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 10
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:02:06 PM
Good lord man - the problem is not that you are a quadriplegic, but your anger. And you have every right to be blisteringly furious - no one would blame you for that. But you are not your disability, although I know life can feel that way sometimes.

Lose the halo photo right away, keep the cute ones of you out and about.

And rewrite your profile - tell women something about yourself, not your disability. Do you still enjoy watching football? Favourite team? Another sport? Hobbies? And yes, quadriplegics do have hobbies - cripes, don't go there :D

Give women something to work with instead of a lecture!
 some woman
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 11
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:14:07 PM
From your profile:

itd be nice to actually see someone want more with me

Give them a good reason to want more with you.

Guilt tripping women into giving you a chance isn't going to work.
 LD44
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 12
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:19:22 PM
I have a nephew who is 24 in a wheel chair, he races wheel chairs and has won many competitions, he also has a beautiful girlfriend. jim a guy I used to work with drove a pickup truck and has a very nice wife he is also in a wheel chair. stop feeling sorry for yourself and get moving
 patrick quad
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 13
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:24:27 PM
lol thats kinda funny, no id actually be happy meeting someone but thats what its come down to, they dont even wanna meet after saying they would do a date even
 patrick quad
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 14
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:27:43 PM
um the bed shot is all i have because im almost in bed all the time besides its a decent pic and i put paralyzed as a joke because i had to have something there
 patrick quad
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 15
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:33:10 PM
im a quadriplegic and paralyzed neck down..all i can do technically is watch tv and be on my computer ..i get taken out about every 2-3 months with being visited once a month so cant name any hobbies
 patrick quad
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 16
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:34:27 PM
i dont guilt trip them, i tell them what to expect
 patrick quad
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 17
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:39:59 PM
once again im fully paralyzed and cant move anything..i need 24/7 care just about hence the nursing home factor in my profile, and mecaid/medicare only pays for 11hrs of care and i have no family to take and help me..friends all ditched me after the accident

hope that insights some of you
 patrick quad
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 18
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:45:40 PM
and for everyone looking at my anger, its meant to scare off any chick that will stand me up to even meet because thats the only thing ive got out of this site so far and the first person post mentioned i probably had it better written before is right...but now you know why ive changed it
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 19
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:49:40 PM
OP: I'm sorry to hear about your accident. I think you would have a better chance of making friendships if your profile did not sound so bitter. I would suggest you re-writing your profile with verbiage that isn't so hostile/angry.

Best,

 HouseKitten86
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 20
Paralyzed
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:50:37 PM
Honestly, do you really think you should even be dating? It sounds like you have a lot of difficulties at the moment and if you're really not doing much except watching tv all day, then perhaps you should look into building up a social life before you try to meet someone to date.

Yeah, it's hard. Women have hundreds of fit and healthy men to choose from. The hand you've been dealt sucks, no doubt about that. But as several people have confirmed, the way you're approaching dating is not doing you any favours either. If you're starting from further down the eligibility ladder then you just have to work harder to get somewhere decent. You're not the only one in your situation.I don't know if this is likely but since you obviously have access to the internet, have you tried looking for forums aimed specifically at people in your position? Seeing how other people have overcome their problems can give you hope and of course, give you ideas on how to improve your own social life.
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