| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:47:36 PM | It is obvious to me that this forum is littered with people that have a lot more life experiences than me when it comes to dating/marriage/divorce/dating again. I want this thread to become somewhat a cautionary tale/advice column for us yongings (late teens-mid 20s).
I want you each to mention the most important lessons that you have learned from dating/marriage/divorce that you wish you had known to begin with.
Help us youngins in avoiding some of the mistakes you made! | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:51:38 PM | Don't get married, ever.
Don't be a suckup, women prefer assholes over suckups, no matter what they say.
When a girl spends most of her time talking trash about her parents, chances are she's the piece of trash, not them.
Lie. Constantly. Honesty never got anyone anywhere, no matter what the women say once again. Being up-front is the quickest path to eternal virginity, every relationship has to come with a bit of pre-emptive gloss.
Don't listen to women's advice, it will destroy you. Go with what feels right, no matter what you do.
If a woman tells you she wants to be friends, cease all contact until she comes back saying she wants something more.
Most of all, drink. Drink lots. It will help. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:02:14 PM | WHAT???????
You want dating experience in a dating experience forum? What are you, psycho? What the frak is wrong with you?
I could give some young people some great advice on what not to do. Heres some:
1. If she wears a nightgown, invites you over, puts you on her bed, and asks you if you want to go to the next level... YOU FREAKING SAY YES!!!!!!!
2. If everyperson, even complete strangers, tell you the person you are dating is a complete and utter whack job, LISTEN TO THEM!!!!!! Dont ever say its us against the world.
3. Never lament about the girl who said no, go to the next one.
4. If you really loved her, but it didnt work out, cry about it for three days, then go out and get another.
5. If she cheated on you, kick her to the curb. Dont take excuses or apologies.
6. Love yourself before you love someone else.
7. Conversely, Dont love a girl who doesnt love and respect herself.
8. Dont ever try to be the white knight in shining armor. All those girls who need saving, ( and ill get attacked for it, cuz people WILL miss my meaning ) will ALWAYS need saving.
9. Always listen and hold her through the tough times. This seems like it will contradict number 8, but a partner will ask for your support, not to save, but to be there. There is a difference. ( im going to get blasted )
10. If you dont want to be with her, tell her. Better the truth now, then to string them along until it really hurts later.
So much more, so much more...... | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:03:38 PM | - Do not lose yourself with in the relationship. Have your own interests and your own dreams and goals... and do not lose track of either of them with in your relationships.
- KNOW and LIKE who you are before dating anyone... period.
- Do not date anyone YOU feel needs your help changing to fit what you desire.
- Do not date anyone who feels the need to change YOU to fit their desires.
- NEVER stand someone up. EVER! | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:21:13 PM | Seriously, the most important thing I could say is - don't stay with someone when your gut tells you it's time to leave.
You may feel like you've put in a lot of time and you don't want it to be for nothing, or you'll think you're just going through a rough patch and it will pass, or whatever - but if you feel deep down that it's over, it is, and don't waste even more time, just end it. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:22:34 PM |
I want you each to mention the most important lessons that you have learned from dating/marriage/divorce that you wish you had known to begin with.
Never follow another persons advice. Simply listen to it and see if it allows you another perspective or opens up new ideas to contrast your own thoughts.
Ignore it if it's something you've already thought of and discarded before. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 6:15:40 PM | I thought it was slap her on the ass and eat her pie?????
or isnt it slap her on the ass while she is eating pie.....
so confunded!!!!!!!  | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:01:15 PM |
Never slap her on the ass and order her to make you a pie.
I thought it was slap her on the ass and tell her to "make me a sandwich"... then ask why she isn't bare foot?
... Unless you prefer pie? | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:10:49 PM | I have a 17 and a 20 yr old. I tell you these previous posters--the guys will get you smacked by her. No wonder they are single--no respect.
People should respect each other in a relationship.
The mistake I made was I married too soon. You really have to spend time with someone and get to know their habits to see if you can live with that.
Babies are a 18 year, expensive committment. If you're not ready for the expense, don't forget the rubbers every time.
I recommend the show on MTV "16 and Pregnant". It shows you what is involved with having a baby. That young guy will never be able to support a kid on minimum wage and they both want to go to college. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:13:50 PM | The first two are mine, but the last one is my favorite:
Don't accept advice from miserable people, it will only make you miserable.
Take a chance on someone, and know that only you can make it happen.
"Do 1 thing that scares you."-BL | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:24:18 PM |
I have a 17 and a 20 yr old. I tell you these previous posters--the guys will get you smacked by her. No wonder they are single--no respect.
People should respect each other in a relationship.
Hello?
Humour or humor (see American and British English spelling differences) is the tendency of particular cognitive experiences to provoke laughter ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humor_(funny)
No wonder she is single --no sense of humor. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:31:05 PM | I appreciate you wanting to learn from other people's experiences. Just know that's a life long process...at any age.
I have children in your age range, so I'll tell you what I've told them. The best learning experiences are your own. Thing to remember is there are two ways to learn, talk to others/read books (which are simply other people's experiences written down) and there is experiential learning...learning by and from your own experiences. Both are just as valid, as an individual your experiental learning will be the most valuable, because no matter how many people you talk to, books you read...your own life experience will never be quite the same but it will be YOURS.
When my children do ask me for advice, I tell them that, and it seems to them I'm backing out of giving advice. I share with them what my dad told me not in the exact words, but it's pure wisdom. He instilled in me that no matter what happens, it's my choice to learn and grow from it/through it and to encourage me that I'm fully capable even when I make a bad decision or error in judgment to get through it and be smarter/wiser in the future. He had total faith and confidence in me and I've passed that onto my own children. I truly believe we're all more resourceful than we think we are.
Know you'll make mistakes, we all do. Don't beat yourself up or guilt yourself, it's the human condition. Be confident that you'll figure it out and don't withdraw because of fear. People that don't make mistakes aren't DOING anything!
Own your responsibility for your actions and words, don't look to lay blame and know that whatever you're experiencing is what many have or will. Don't stop making decisions and being proactive, know that your own life and happiness is yours and you will find it/achieve it, if you believe fully that you will.
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:34:20 PM | Here is my sage advice..
You dont know what you dont know.
Learn who YOU are.
Trust your gut instincts.
Things are never as they seem.
The truth is always revealed, eventually.
The law of attraction is real.
Who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow.
There is something to be learned from every experience, if you fail to do that, you have wasted the opportunity.
The only thing that opposes love, is fear. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:36:30 PM | Everyone has an ***hole but not everyone wants to be fvked in it.
1 in every 1 person has some serious character flaw or personality defect. This will eventually lead from finding it charming and unique to a strong desire to kill the person because of it.
When in doubt, play games. Playing games gives you time to ponder all of lifes mysteries from the mundane to the esoteric while wallowing in your ability to totally string another human being along for as long as possible.
If you can get the milk for free, never, EVER pay for the cow.
All men are losers as are all women.
When you really find that you HAVE to settle down with someone...ensure they have the EXACT same fvk-ups as you do.
Never marry someone who will, unknown to all, eventually devolve into mental illness. Yeah, that requires a little bit of precognition but it's something to be avoided...believe me.
Never get married on the 1st date...believe me.
If you have a choice of beating off or having sex with someone you're not attracted to...do both. That way, when presented with the same delima in the future you'll have some personal experience to go by.
If you have a choice between doing something for your loved one that cost a lot of money, or creating a silly card out of old construction paper and a free crayone you got at a restaurant, create the kindergarted style card. It's romantic. It's also a lot cheaper. Use the money to buy more porn. You can never have enough porn.
Never give anyone your full name. Just tell your partner that it's 'George' or 'John' or what ever you're called. Tell them you're like Cher and Madonna or Pink. That way, it's much easier to totally disappear when you get tired of them and makes it much less likely that they'll track you down.
Just say you like to be on a first name basis with everyone...
Learn to win arguments by raising your voice louder than all others involved.
Always have a plan for disposing bodies.
Sometimes you feel like a nut...and if you do you probably are and should seek mental help.
Always go for the golden ring. The most attractive person, most wealth, most popular person you know. Sure, you might get turned down but, then again you might not. And if you do, just go on to the next most popular, wealthy and attractive.
Never start at the bottom...that's just stooooopid.
Any more advice cost 19.95 USD per. Any good advice is worth paying for...or getting paid for giving out.
Already, I've given out 15 tips worth 299.25 USD in pro-bono advice.
Yes...I will claim it on my taxes. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:50:27 PM | Something else I have learned through experience....
You never really can learn lessons unless you have gone through it yourself. You can read and study and listen for years... but you will not understand it fully until you fall on your own ass a few times.
If you have never been on a roller coaster... all the descriptions and lessons in physics in the world will not prepare you for the actual experience of it.
Sorry baby... we can give you all the wonderful advice and share with you all our own experiences through our own stupid mistakes.... but you will not catch on until you have gone through it yourself. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:07:10 PM | You know, most of the advice here is pretty good, except for barbie1970's statement that it isn't any good.
Even hellgremlin's advice is mostly good, except for the advice to lie. Even that's a little true. I have read a fair amount of research stating that deception, at least "little white lies," are important for social interaction. They even suggest that's why autistics have so much problem with socialization.
I have a problem. I can't lie. I just don't seem to have the knack. I've tried in the past, but it just doesn't seem to work. So I gave it up. (Maybe I'm autistic? Who knows.)
Anyway, if you don't lie, you can expect to be accused of lying a lot. Really a lot. More than people who do lie. It's quite infuriating.
You have to have a lot of power to make telling the truth work for you. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:08:25 PM | LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN!!!!
I cant stress that enough.They dont give a shit about what you have to say. They just want someone to listen to their constant babbling. | |
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| Help a youngin learn from your mistakes
Posted: 7/19/2009 8:40:32 PM | | I meant this post to be a serious post on mistakes/advice that people with a lot more life experience have to give but it has turned into one big joke...having said that, some of you are HILLARIOUS! | |
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