| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 3:24:23 PM | | Hi guys, I could do with your insights here, I'm at a loss. Guy messaged me a few days ago, sounded interested. I responded with a similar, chatty tone. I liked his profile and he sounded nice. We have exchanged about 4 messages since. I have been friendly and asked a question about him in each message, leaving the ball in his court. He started out asking me questions at first but now isn't for past couple of emails. He is responding and revealed a bit about himself in the last message, but I feel I'm slipping into doing the work somehow. He seems to be answering my questions rather than showing interest. We haven't really got to the point where we would exchange phone numbers and he hasn't asked. I suddenly feel discouraged. I'm wondering whether to bother responding now or give up. He may think I'm rude, I don't know, but there is no question to respond to. I feel I need him to show interest now. What do you think? I know it's early, but still ... | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 3:27:36 PM | Ask him !
Would you like to talk on the phone sometimes? If not then well there's your answer | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 3:30:10 PM | Yep. Ask.
Women should not fear rejection. It's a part of dating. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 3:31:36 PM | It's a dating site.
You can't see his eyes, you can't sense him up.
You have to communicate directly what you want, like, etc.
Directly ask him for his phone number or MSN or whatnot and a time to chat for his schedule.
Simple is always good. If he found something else or changed his mind, you'll have your answer right there.
Good luck!
Alex | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 3:33:06 PM | Mention casually that you'd like to talk on the phone and that email tag is getting boring to you or something along those lines.
If he doesn't go for it, at least you'll know, right? | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 3:33:16 PM |
What do you think?
I think you're playing a lot of games. And he may be as well.
leaving the ball in his court...I'm...doing the work ...I feel I need him to show interest now...We haven't really got to the point where we would exchange phone numbers
Really? Balls in courts? Work? He "needs" to do something for you? There is an actual point of when to exchange numbers? Like a prisoner exchange?
IMO it should be
I liked his profile and he sounded nice.
and then
I invited him to meet in public, on Saturday, for a quick meet at Starbucks.
and then either
We got along and are going for dinner next week.
or
I didn't find him as nice as I thought (or hoped) he was, so I'm going to move on and find someone else. | |
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Daryn
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Joined: 7/11/2009
Msg: 7 | |
| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 3:41:28 PM | Why are you encouraging her to jump right to the phone ... the messages havent gone well so forget the phone for now.
I suggest telling him that the messaging is a two way street, if he isnt interested enough to ask questions as well as answer then perhaps its at an end. If he cant put something of himself into the messages hows he going to be while dating !! | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 3:42:27 PM | WOW, you are RIDICULOUS....
typical woman wanting a man to do ALL THE WORK..
C'mon, OPEN YOUR EYES...you're Asking him questions...he's RESPONDING to your questions...
If he's playing games, HE WILL NOT ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS AND INSTEAD FIND A PLAYFUL WAY AROUND IT...
Dam.
You exchanged 4 emails and NOW you want to call it quits.
Get OFF your high horse and ask him...
I guarantee you if you ask, HE WILL GIVE IT TO YOU..
Dam people, it's not AS hard as you all make it out to be. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 4:10:01 PM | Good lord lady! What do you want? You asked questions he answered! But that's not enough for you.
He is responding and revealed a bit about himself in the last message
Have you noticed that he messaged you blind? Have you looked at your profile? There's nothing there: no picture, no information, nothing! Yet he messaged you. We have a saying here in the states it's, Cowgirl Up. I'm sure we're in the same century as you are over there, so it's not like in the old days when a guy comes to the front door and asks the dad to take out the daughter. You've given him nothing to go on, yet he's still talking to you, isn't he?
I have been friendly and asked a question about him in each message, leaving the ball in his court.
Helloooo... he's the one who messaged you. The ball was already in his court.
I'm sure you have a million reasons why you're more deserving that the other hundreds of thousands of women on this site; with pictures, and interests, and a well-written profile, so start writing down those reasons, and when you're half-way through, he might be knocking on your door.
There are no guarantees, so try taking your destiny in your own hands, or you'll be doing exactly the same thing you're doing now. Nothing! Maybe he's shy! Did you ever think about that?
Good luck,
Cityboy | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 4:38:48 PM |
Guy messaged me a few days ago, sounded interested Since your profile is hidden, then it would be impossible to bring you up in a search. So, unless he's a forum member.. You would have had to message him first. (correct me if my assumption is incorrect)
I liked his profile and he sounded nice. If your emails have only consisted of you asking questions and him answering them.. then perhaps he's starting to feel like you're interviewing him and feels you're not much fun.
I feel I'm slipping into doing the work somehow Then why bother with this one? It hasn't even got of the ground yet and you're feeling imposed upon or, that all the interest is yours.
I suddenly feel discouraged. I'm wondering whether to bother responding now or give up. He may think I'm rude, I don't know, but there is no question to respond to. I feel I need him to show interest now. What do you think? I know it's early, but still ... I think if it should flow easily with neither of you thinking it's work and both of you happy to hear from each other. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 4:42:35 PM |
He seems to be answering my questions rather than showing interest. God... only 4 emails and you're panicking? Sheeesh..Do the guy a favor and call him already. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:29:41 PM | Wow. Tough room. If he's stopped asking anything, it does sound like he's not quite into you, yet. I think ultimately you're ahead of the game, as most folks don't answer without a picture....
(psssst---how many wishes do I get? lol) | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:08:09 PM | On your profile you have Talk/Email. Maybe that's as far as it will get. The next message you should ask if he'd like to talk a bit more over the phone. If he does maybe he will give you his number If he wants to talk and doesn't give his number to you, send your number to him! If he calls, there you go.
Simple really! Take a chance. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:22:15 PM |
Hi guys, I could do with your insights here, I'm at a loss. Guy messaged me a few days ago, sounded interested. I responded with a similar, chatty tone. I liked his profile and he sounded nice. We have exchanged about 4 messages since. I have been friendly and asked a question about him in each message, leaving the ball in his court. He started out asking me questions at first but now isn't for past couple of emails. He is responding and revealed a bit about himself in the last message, but I feel I'm slipping into doing the work somehow. He seems to be answering my questions rather than showing interest. We haven't really got to the point where we would exchange phone numbers and he hasn't asked. I suddenly feel discouraged. I'm wondering whether to bother responding now or give up. He may think I'm rude, I don't know, but there is no question to respond to. I feel I need him to show interest now. What do you think? I know it's early, but still ...
You need him to express an interest in you. I think that's the important message to take away from this. If he's not expressing enough interest in who you are, it's time to find someone who will. BE attracted, it makes things much easier. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:23:51 PM | | You want him to ask questions and he has now I've got a question for you to answer. Has he ask you to send a picture to him. If not then he really isn't interested so maybe you should move on. I won't spend more than 3 messages after I ask for a pic cause you would be hiding something. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:46:19 PM |
Hi guys, I could do with your insights here, I'm at a loss. Guy messaged me a few days ago, sounded interested. I responded with a similar, chatty tone. I liked his profile and he sounded nice. We have exchanged about 4 messages since. I have been friendly and asked a question about him in each message, leaving the ball in his court. He started out asking me questions at first but now isn't for past couple of emails. He is responding and revealed a bit about himself in the last message, but I feel I'm slipping into doing the work somehow. He seems to be answering my questions rather than showing interest. We haven't really got to the point where we would exchange phone numbers and he hasn't asked. I suddenly feel discouraged. I'm wondering whether to bother responding now or give up. He may think I'm rude, I don't know, but there is no question to respond to. I feel I need him to show interest now. What do you think? I know it's early, but still ...
I, for one, would totally ask him "Are you interested and would you like to meet?" No fears, no regrets, just do it. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:52:19 PM | | I mean, you could just ask him what's up. Personally though, I feel like if no one seems to show any interest in you, just forget 'em and move on. I wouldn't discourage you from asking, though. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:53:36 PM |
Get OFF your high horse and ask him...
It doesn't sound like she's on a "high horse" to me, it just sounds like she's shy and we women are given a lot of conflicting advice. You don't need to be condescending to give your opinion. Simply ENCOURAGING her to be courageous would suffice. | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 9:59:18 PM | Hm.
I myself am guilty of this, and its not due to any lack of intrest, sometimes when im writing a responding email I just get so wrapped up in answering her questions that I forget to ask any of my own. I think its mostly due to just needing a refresher in writen english.
Could just be me tho.
 | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 10:09:10 PM | | He's probably just thrown off that you haven't asked to see his nasty bits. That is how internet dating works no? | |
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| Should I give up?
Posted: 7/20/2009 10:10:08 PM | | Yes, you should give up. If I really want to share the same interest with the other person I will arrange to meet up asap. If he is ****ing around... he is not interested... If you want to know if he is ****ing around invite him somewhere if he doesnt find a way to get there... then he decided that you didnt worth his time. | |
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