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 AUTHOR
 L_d_M__87
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 1
"Moving too fast" stories?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hey all, this one's just for fun

So, just recently started exchanging messages with a guy, and by the fourth - count em, FOURTH - message, he asks if we can go on vacation together on my next days off! (which are in two weeks, btw). Yikes!!

So, as I am laughing to myself and running for the proverbial hills, does anyone have any stories to share?

-L
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 2
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Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 2:35:09 AM
Wow. And I thought being invited to meet the family after a single *drink* was fast ... !
 Dayz411
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 3
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 5:27:14 AM
There are some guys that are just ---- I wanna say desperate but I don't know if that's the right word...but I'm just gonna go with desperate...

I went out with this guy - after ONE date he was talking about us moving in together - starting a family - that he would watch our children and do things around the house while I was in school during the day - and he would work a night shift somewhere...

Let's say...He didn't last very long.
 SoccerNerd78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 4
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 6:36:17 AM
Any get-together, date, night where the following morning, your date calls, emails, and texts you before you get in the office. Yipes.

Stage 5 clingers are scary, let's please be patient and use discretion in our hunts.

There is no emergency at 7:30AM that a date you met up with once can fix better than any friends/family you may have.
 Chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 5
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Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 6:47:37 AM
I was at an international job fair and there are some countries that were only hiring married couples. On the 2nd day, I was having lunch with a few people I had met there and we were talking about the different places. After observing that one of the countries only hired couples, I turned to the woman next to me and asked, "Will you marry me?"

The woman hesitated, smiled, and reached for my hand. I thought she was being silly and continuing my joke, but then I realized she was being serious The rest of lunch was rather awkward.
 Dazzling Dream
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 6
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:53:38 AM
There are some very nice people at POF but there are some that want things to happen fast. I've been given messages that seem like the person would marry me on the spot. Even though they don't have a clue who I am or what I'm like. That's why I think it's so much better to take the easy going way.
 coveredinpaint
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 7
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:08:49 AM
And I thought asking for a number after a few private messages was pushy...
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 8
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Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:11:26 AM
OP: Are you sure the guy wasn't just joking with you? Sometimes people throw out the "Let's get together and ______" early on in order to break the ice. It's not always some kind of urgent request. People flirt and feel each other out through meeting requests before actually nailing down a real date or meeting. I had a woman who, by her second message, was asking to come hang out; but she said it in kind of a lighthearted, casual way. It was rhetorical, not desperate. We ended up talking a little more over the next few days before getting together. She ended up being cool, not a freak.

The point is: if you want more conversation before meeting, then just continue to talk. Ask the guy to tell you more about himself. A lighthearted suggestion to meet is not always evidence of "moving too fast" or a stalker mentality. Freaking out or overreacting to a rhetorical suggestion is a sure way to stink up what might have been a promising connection.
 L_d_M__87
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 9
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:52:13 AM
spitfire, I assure you he was completely serious.. and rather disappointed when I told him I already had plans (which I truthfully do). He then proceeded to ask me twice for my phone number, and that we go for dinner and a movie tonight. He never even introduced himself.

Pardon me for sounding snarky (which isn't my intention, and I apologize), but I don't think I was overreacting :)

-L
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 10
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Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:56:18 AM
I've known people who decide to date exclusively and consider themselves a couple within hours of meeting (their first date). It's would almost be amusing (if it weren't so pathetic) to watch them pretend they're an established couple when it's clear they hardly know each other.
 Dayz411
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 11
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:57:02 AM
I'm totally with you L; some guys are just really pushy - sometimes you have to wonder what some of their intentions really are...
 idoc_steve
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 12
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:00:01 AM
I can usually tell by the end of the first or second week at most if a woman I have been dating is relationship material, and even though I have attempted to slow it down, I have in the past suggested that we enter into a committed relationship and not date others...so we can focus on one another for as long as it goes..I've had relationships for months to years as a result of dating on sites such as this one...it usually works out however there was at least one occasion where a woman who was very interested in me was put off by my intensity and eagerness to become exclusive (even though she told me she was ready to give up on this site because she didn't think there were guys like me around).

I've been with a woman from this site for 3 weeks now, we're exclusive and I think we're going to give this a good run..who knows maybe for the rest of our natural lives..and we're going away next weekend for an overnighter.

Ok, maybe not quite as crazy as some of the posts on this thread so far, but I guess it's up there...that's how I roll..and women who are similar to myself in terms of what they're looking for don't seem to have a problem with it either.

"Life is too short to waste time on those who don't know what they want".
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 13
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Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 1:04:12 PM

spitfire, I assure you he was completely serious.. and rather disappointed when I told him I already had plans (which I truthfully do).


Fair enough. If the guy gave you a hard time or acted disappointed, then he was a TOOL.

I tend to be a fast mover, but I'm not disappointed at all if a woman needs more time. Pressuring or badgering is never the way to go. I ask for the phone number very quickly (and usually, I get it), but am willing to email/chat back and forth for awhile so a woman can know more about me first. Allowing others to feel comfortable and get acquainted at a comfortable pace is key.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 14
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Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 4:37:04 PM
After one date with a guy(no sex involved) he tells me I already found a boyfrined (meaning him) and to get off of this site.

I head for the hills! Oh gee thanks for making the decision for me! Guess I am not smart enough to decide for myself
 ImxAxLush
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 15
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 8:50:21 PM
I ****ed a guy one time (we had known each other for a year on a professional level) and then after that he started talking about what if we were to get married and have children together, blah blah blah. Yea, no thanks. That scared me off!
 CynthiaMw
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 16
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:31:59 PM
I went on vacation (skiing for a week out-of-state) for our second date (first 'date' was the day we met, he drove me home from work so I didn't have to take the bus). We were engaged 9 wks later and married for 23 yrs.


On the other extreme - opening email from a fishie asked me to marry him. His profile said divorced so I figured it was a great joke, said 'sure' and we picked a date. When we met in-person I found out he was not only serious, his divorce wasn't final. I walked out that minute. He called later asking why I was so rude to leave without saying anything!! OMFG!
 ~GoneSailing~
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 17
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 9:34:05 PM
Yep day 5.
NOT date 5 but Day 5 - he pulls out a set of wedding rings that belonged to his dead mother. Wanted me to try them on.

Run Forest! Run!
 L_d_M__87
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 18
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:24:48 PM
GoneSailing...
WOW. just....WOW.

-L
 lovemesomemen
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 19
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/21/2009 11:29:45 PM
First email....guy told me I had amazing eyes and he couldn't wait to see what our children would look like. After I threw up in my mouth, I deleted his email.
 dantos
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 20
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/22/2009 1:59:15 AM

Yep day 5.
NOT date 5 but Day 5 - he pulls out a set of wedding rings that belonged to his dead mother. Wanted me to try them on.

Run Forest! Run!


W... T... F...


That's terrible. You should be looking at 6 months to a year before even thinking about marriage. And dead mother? That's just creepy.
 nate_in_fl
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 21
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/22/2009 3:22:39 AM
Some of these are too funny, esp. yours Dana. ;)

OK, I got one...this was not a lady I met online, instead I just happened to meet her at a park. She was like 15 yrs. older than me & told me that she was lonely in her new place & asked if I was looking for a place to live. I said yeah, I've got two roomates & we rent a loft in the city. She was like "Oh, do you have much privacy?" I said "Most of the time." She said "Well if you want to come live at my place you could walk around naked as much as you want." I said "That's OK, I'm not much of a nudist anyway."
 jdawg4876
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 22
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/22/2009 5:05:50 AM
since I just responded in a message does that mean we soulmates lol.

My only story is one time I was first contacted by a woman who is from my city, which should have been a red flag being a first contact and a girl from my town. She said she had a crush on me forever. Apparently we went to school together, but I have no idea who she is. So I talk to her for like a day and she said I want to be yours forever. Needless to say I ran faster than Forrest Gump in Nam
 Zardoz451
Joined: 3/28/2009
Msg: 23
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Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/22/2009 2:14:29 PM
Hmmm,

Different speeds for myself.

Sometimes I'm at a snails pace...other times I can be quite blunt and rapid...

It all depends on my mood and how the 'relationship' is going.

I got married on the '1st date'. Made it last for 16 years until she degenerated into mental illness (borderline personality).

Other times, I'll let having a 1st meet drag on too long and they become uninterested.

I like that I can be variable and not rigid and set in my ways.

The current woman I'm chatting/meeting with. Seems real good. But, I met her initially 10 months ago...and was probably too fast in my approach then. Now, moving at a comfortable pace. But, if nothing pans out, she'd be one who'd easily be an actual friend due to our commonality.
 mduncan50
Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 24
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Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/22/2009 3:35:04 PM
I'm starting to get a complex now because this seems to be happening to everyone but me

The worst I ever got was a lady saying she wanted to meet me in here initial contact message.

To OP: Don't suppose he wanted to go to an old abandoned cabin out in the woods?
 L_d_M__87
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 25
Moving too fast stories?
Posted: 7/22/2009 5:21:38 PM
hahaha no... well, at least it wasn't in the woods

-L
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