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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?      Home login  
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 Boomer1970
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 1
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First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?Page 1 of 1    
I have talk to this women twice. She is my age. We are both from the same state only 20 miles from each other. Question, I had my first date and I think it went great. We had a lot to talk about. We had to cut the date short because she had to pick up here kids. I really like her, how long do I wait before I call her or texted her to ask her for another date? I don't want to smother her or make her feel like I'm hard up or stocking her, but I don't want to let her get away. I need to play it cool, but in the same token I need to let her know that I'm intrested. Any advice?
Thank you
Scott
 SassySky
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 2
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 7:58:26 PM
Yes, there are no hard and fast rules on the time limit,. I for one would be flattered to get a nice call or text the next day telling me that you enjoyed yourself and would llove to do it again soon

BTW darlin... she isn't a fish, so if she gets away then it wasn 't meant to be, take a deep breath, relax. Be honest and upfront without beign a stalker type of person.
Good luck
 TwinkiMilton
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 3
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First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:03:25 PM
Why not talk to her about this?


Edit: what SassySky said : up :
 *MisKa*
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 4
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:10:38 PM
Call her, tonight, right now, get off the computor and call her.
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 5
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First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:12:14 PM
Relax OP, take a deep breath there.

I'm with Sassy, I would be flattered also to get a call after the date.
The next day is fine or the day after.

Good luck
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 6
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First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:21:58 PM
Don't fret so much OP..if you hit it off, things should be fine...

I also like it when a guy calls the same night or next day...or, even if it went really well..if he asks me for another date before we part company...at least I know he is interested...

All women aren't the same...but, most, if they are interested too...don't mind being asked on another date...stalkerish is when it's overdone and obsessive...or, they aren't interested...( yeah, I know, women can be the eptiome of dichotomy....lol)
 LD44
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 7
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:41:26 PM
No need to play cool, just be yourself why bother being fake? call her tommorow say hi you had a great time and would like to do it again, forget texting that for children. and dont stock her she might not like being on a shelf. and you are hard up its called being a man.
 lovemesomemen
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 8
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:43:44 PM
If it was that great, why didn't you make plans for another date right then and there? If you play it too cool and wait too long to call (don't text, really) then you'll probably miss your chance.
 Silent Steel
Joined: 2/18/2009
Msg: 9
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First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:07:09 PM
Was this an actual date, or a first meet and greet type thing? I would be a bit concerned if it was a true date, that she had to cut it short to pick up kids. Not saying this to worry you or anything, but it deserves some thought.
 littlebitofnc2
Joined: 9/18/2008
Msg: 10
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First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:02:52 PM
Whether you are a man or woman, if you have had a nice time with someone on a first meeting / date....LET THEM KNOW.... DON'T WAIT.

There are several things which can be done:
1. Text the person when you're sitting at a stop light on the way home and let them know you enjoyed their company.
2. When you get home send them a message on POF or an email
3. Call them the next day and make a 2nd date

Those 3 are certainly only a few of the choices.

Happy Fishing....
 DemonDingleBerry
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 11
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:17:58 PM

how long do I wait before I call her or texted her to ask her for another date?...Any advice?

Figure out something that YOU want to do. When you figure out something YOU want to do then call and ask her when she is available to enjoy it with you.
I don't think you know her well enough to determine if you enjoy the same activities in the same way. So IMO it's best to see if she would enjoy going with you to enjoy one of yours.
Then when you are doing that, you figure out (usually by asking) what they like to do. Then do research on how/when to best do it, then maybe offer to do that next time.

Or do something simple like figure out when you are available, and ask her to go to dinner. Or see when her schedule allows her to get dinner. Then figure out the things she likes to do, and pick something that sounds fun to you too.

IMO the most important thing is to call when you have something to suggest doing, and know when you are available to do it. Plus allow her to change your mind or offer suggestions that fit her schedule or wants.

Just stay away from any conversations that devolve into
"Just callin to check in and say hi, seein if you want to do something some time...."
"Sure. What do you want to do?"
"I don't care, whadda you wanna do?"
"Anything's fine"
"How about we go shoot cows in the nuts with a BB gun?"
"No. I don't want to do that."
"Snake wrangling?"
"Uhh...no thanks..."
"Well fine, you come up with something then."
Avoid that conversation like the plague.

That's my advice.
 artist_48
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 12
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:51:31 PM
My thoughts mirror SASSYSKY'S . I appreciate a call the next day. There are no rules.

I believe people over-think this subject. Do what you want to do, be who you are, or how can you be being yourself around them?
 Swimstars
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 13
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/24/2009 10:02:01 AM
DemondingleBerry has given the best advice so far here.

OK i am gonna do something pretty different.

The ideas that i have on this kind of topic are longer than i believe can be put into a written message, and im sure you will have questions.

I will answer your question and probably a few more on Skype, if you dont have it, then download it now. Both males and females are welcome to listen in to our conversation too by adding me, please only do so if you have interest in this situation or social dynamics between men and women.

My Skype username is Swimstars. All who add me for this topic please add a welcome message 'Plenty of fish' so i know what its regarding.

-Swimstars
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 14
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/24/2009 10:24:24 AM
You don't have to "play it cool" ...if you like her then call her up and ask her. Plain and simple.
 68katy
Joined: 5/14/2009
Msg: 15
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/24/2009 10:42:02 AM
more relationships flounder early on, due to game playing ,so be truthful. I've always liked it if told they enjoyed my company and want to meet again,a couple of texts a day and meet within a week is good.Over the top would be to bombard her with texts, or tell her you love her before the 6 mth mark.....have to know someone to love them.....all the men who told me early on, had unrealistic expectations of who i was.
 Starburst_Guy
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 16
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:16:38 AM
My gut feeling is that she is not into you and probably just used the excuse of having to pick up the kids to get rid of you.

If she wasn't dropping all kids of direct hints of seeing you again, than it is safe to assume that she is hoping you wander away or crawl under a rock and die.

Then again, I trust you have enough intelligence to know that when ever you go out on a date with a girl, you send her an email as quickly as possible after the date to let her know you had an amazing time and want to see her again asap.

This help kick away the Coyote Butt Ugly Rule (C.B.U.R.)where people will say anything to get away (saves them having to gnaw off their arm if her head is resting on it while she is asleep in your bed), but once away, they will simply disappear into the wild blue yonder never to respond to an email letter again.
 Accidentally In Love
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 17
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First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:17:32 AM

No need to play cool, just be yourself why bother being fake? call her tommorow say hi you had a great time and would like to do it again, forget texting that for children. and dont stock her she might not like being on a shelf. and you are hard up its called being a man.


^^^ Honesty is always a good thing...especially when it's so funny!


Over the top would be to bombard her with texts, or tell her you love her before the 6 mth mark.....have to know someone to love them..


Everyone is different. I don't believe there's a time limit on feelings. If you feel it then you feel it. If you don't then no amount of time will make it happen. There will be a huge variance of time spent during six months of dating from one person to the next so the getting to know you time will not be the same for everyone. If I don't feel love for someone after six month and presumably sleeping with them then WTH am I doing with that person?

Scott: Just do what you feel is right but don't be overwhelming her with a bunch of calls. A call the next day to say you had a great time and would like to do it again would be fine. If you leave too much time in between then I would think you were not interested or were playing games.

Usually if a first date/kiss goes well then the man will secure a second date by the end of the first one but I understand that you may have been cut off by her having to rush off and pick up her kids.
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 18
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/24/2009 11:23:54 AM
Could it be possible that you had a great time and she didn't? Maybe you felt there was chemistry there, but her - not so much? Sometimes these things happen. The only way your going to know is by calling her.
 Unbelievable1047
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 19
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/24/2009 12:29:15 PM
Has she called you since the date? Has there been any contact made since?
If not then maybe she didn't like you, and she used her kids as a+n excuse to get away.

If you call her and she actually answers,yea she definitely liked you. Make your next move. Ask her out again!
 mikehrt7
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 20
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First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/24/2009 12:42:30 PM
I love how most of the replies on the ask a girl Forums are from guys. Anyway I've decided to chime in. You should contact her right away. It should go something like this. If you text, text her the same day. Don't call til the next day but call her the next day. Don't play games. Say you had a great time if you did. Don't rush the next date though. Keep the pressure off. If she says she had a great time, decide based on your situation when to setup the next date. The second depends on how the first date went so there are no good fast rules for when or what for the second date, but keep the communication option.
 SultryBlonde
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 21
First Date went great, how ong to wait for second date?
Posted: 7/24/2009 2:19:15 PM
Even with today's technology, please do not TEXT her for a second date to avoid rejection. Man-up. When it has been 1-2 days and you stil are interested after a mini cool-off period, call her. Good luck!
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