| | Can you change your personality?Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Do you think it is possible to change one's personality, or one's character traits? Or are they inherent in who you are and what you've become due to life's circumstances?
Women & men sometimes get into relationships with people that have characteristics that might annoy them, yet they think they can change them into someone more...like what they should have been looking for to begin with.
Can a shy person learn to be gregarious and out going?
Can a boisterous, loud person learn how to be demure and soft spoken?
Can a smart asss learn to keep their mouth shut?
If they can, will it become a natural part of them, or will they always be that person on the inside?
Anyone that I have known who has made a conscience effort to change who they are at the core, ends up reverting back to who they were. I'm not talking about something as basic as trying to be nicer to people, I'm talking about actually trying to change their personality type. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 3:19:13 PM | For a strong willed or a motivated individual, the day they realize what they want to become and want to change: nothing is impossible.
One only have the limits that one impose on himself | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 3:22:12 PM |
Can a shy person learn to be gregarious and out going?
Can a boisterous, loud person learn how to be demure and soft spoken?
Can a smart asss learn to keep their mouth shut?
Only if THEY want to; whether or not each succeeds will be the result of individual motivation, determination and action. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 3:22:19 PM | It depends on what you mean by "personality type". People can change their behaviors. A person that gets angry easily can learn to control, and even prevent, their anger. A messy person can become organized. It depends on how much they want to change, and whether or not they make the required effort. People with anxiety can learn to stop their anxiety. It all takes time, but it can be done.
Can a shy person learn to be gregarious and out going?
Can a boisterous, loud person learn how to be demure and soft spoken?
Can a smart asss learn to keep their mouth shut?
I believe that a person can do these things. It simply requires desire and PRACTICE. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 3:35:12 PM | You are who you are. There is no changing that. For example, I can become more open and outgoing, but on it inside, I will still be the same shy guy that is always paranoid around people I don't know. Everyone is who they are, and that will never change. You can act different, but it won't be the real you. And I just wish that people would just start taking people the way they are instead of wanting to make them into what they think is 'perfect.'
The Janitor | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 3:54:03 PM | Not if its attached to your soul...which I believe it is. Our personalities are a direct reflection of our souls- everyone's rooted personality is different. The only thing you can control are your own actions because we know total control is an illusion!
In a relationship in the beginning we sacrifice our own personality traits which people may mis-perceive and mis-judge in the beginning. In the beginning we put our best foot forward - we all do it! Because hiding our true selves ends up in resentment driven by an internal pressure knowing we can't be our true selves around the one we "think" we love. That's when we have to ask the real question, why do we love this person?
Changing someone will never happen, they need and want to change themselves. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:14:18 PM | Even if someone wants to change themselves, I think there are certain aspects that can't be changed. At least, not permanently.
You can be kinder, or more considerate, or gernerous, but the change will only be superficial. You'd still slip up and do something that was in your nature to begin with.
If you are Type A, I don't think you can make yourself be anyone other than a type A. Perhaps you can learn to slow down more, or try not to get all crazy about things not going a certain way, but it is still going to creep out of you in one way or another. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:25:57 PM | Behavior is the outward evidence, like in medicine it's the symptom not the cause.
Can you change the way you think/feel about things, your perspective? The thing that causes the behavior/reaction? If you can change that the behavior follows along.
That's how therapy goes they use the behavior as clues to what's going on. You can change anything about yourself, but you have to find the casual aspect and change that. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:29:47 PM | absolutely.you hear about it all the time.,
eg: i was shy in school or i was wild back in the day.a major change is usually a result of either life's experiences or a major event.the core of the person hasn't changed,rather they change the way they react to situations and their environment. | |
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Vicshe
| | Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 14 | |
| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:33:51 PM |
Ah-but what if you are strong willed, but you are trying to become meeker?
One definition of meekness is "controlled strength." So yes, you can do that. It's a matter of developing boundaries. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:41:00 PM | | Can I? Possibly, should I or will I? Never in a million years, I feel I am who I am take me or leave me, I am who I am like me or not. I would not nor would I ask/expect anyone to change me or for me. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:08:30 PM |
Can a shy person learn to be gregarious and out going?
Yes, I was shy and now I'm the opposite, although I still feel shy sometimes inside a little. I have a lot of self confidence basically.
Can a smart asss learn to keep their mouth shut?
Yes, I can be a smart ass by nature but I have learned when to keep my mouth
shut to be more popular.
I've always been sensitive and soft and now want to be hard and cold.
Not sure if I can do that but I'm going to try. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:33:03 PM |
Do you think it is possible to change one's personality, or one's character traits?
No. But IMO you can change how it affects your behavior.
Or are they inherent in who you are and what you've become due to life's circumstances?
I think personality is completely trained by social programming. As personality is only relevant to living socially.
Can a shy person learn to be gregarious and out going?
If their personality is based on fear motivation then they may shift that to be more scared of living alone, than being rejected by others. So they can become more gregarious and out going, but it is still motivated by fear.
Can a boisterous, loud person learn how to be demure and soft spoken?
If their personality is based on needing acceptance or validation or self worth from others, and they go about it by being loud and boisterous in order to be liked or respected by others then if that doesn't work they will shift to someone demure and soft spoken, assuming they then obtain that which fulfills their personality that way.
Can a smart asss learn to keep their mouth shut?
If someone is a smart ass because their personality is based on needing to be liked by others they may shift from being a smart ass to being quite and introspective in order to get people to like them, because they are always surrounded by those that hate smart asses.
Or if they are a smart ass to differentiate themselves from others they can shift their behavior to being quiet if that is a means to differentiate themselves and it's successful.
If they can, will it become a natural part of them, or will they always be that person on the inside?
People will always adopt and shift behavior to fulfill the idea of their basic personality. They will always choose the easiest means to do it based on the influences that are present and most prevalent.
I'm talking about actually trying to change their personality type.
The only real way for one person to determine another persons personality "type" is via observed behavior.
People will change their behavior to fulfill their personality so that it will be accepted by the people they are around the most.
This is why indirect communication is so important. It's constant unbiased feedback regarding perceived behavior. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:41:44 PM | | At diffferent times in my life I've done very different types of jobs. And I found that some aspects of my personality changed to accommodate the needs of the different work. But I don't suppose these aspects were really new. I think it was just that different parts of my personality became more predominant in different circumstances. I guess the same thing happens in relationships though it may be less apparent if you tend to pick partners with fairly similar personalities. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 6:06:21 PM | Yes they can, OP. Just ask all 20 of mine and they'll tell ya the same.
Seriously, I think you can mirror someone's personality that you admire or behave in a manner that you want others to see but you are who you are and it will come out sooner or later. This is precisely why I'm a nagging, conniving, manipulative sea witch up front to anyone I start dating so there won't be any surprises later on.....hehe..
Sans | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 6:54:27 PM | You can educate yourself about the idea of personality types. You'll find that typing of personalities is a superficial construct useful for organizing information about behaviors into practical theories, and as such the types are not actual and will only slightly represent people, and only will in the context of studying social interactions. That means you can grow and evolve at will with little effort, as long as your attempt is based in an accurate understanding of yourself being the result of developmental influences such as family examples, culture, and carbonated beverages.
Behaviors stay in place because they work; they have a job to do. Changing a behavior for the better happens by replacing it with one that can do the job better, or else do a different job that makes the old one obsolete. It's way too much work to replace every last habit of thought making up yourself, so stick to the problematic ones, to replace, and adopt new ones that you suppose will serve you well, as additions to increase your range and power as a force in society. | |
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| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 7:19:05 PM |
Ah-but what if you are strong willed, but you are trying to become meeker?
Why should a strong willed person become meeker?
However, a strong willed person should be kind, tactful, considerate, and not overbearing. Do not equate strength with the necessity to dominate. | |
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rune3
| | Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 25 | |
| Can you change your personality?
Posted: 7/23/2009 10:07:02 PM | Behaviour is part of a system: the way you behave depends upon the dynamic of the system you are in. If you are surrounded by people who intimidate you, you might behave as though you are shy; if you are surrounded by people for whom you have zero fear or respect, you might behave as though you are confident. Whether people seem intimidating or worthy of respect etc depends on your perceptions, as shaped by your past experiences.
People think that behaviour = personality but really it is more like behaviour = situation + perception + personality with personality being the smaller part of the equation, the part representing core values.
Behaviour is an individual reaction to circumstances. Can one change how one reacts? Of course one can. It might work like this: changed behaviour = same situation + changed perception + same personality. The change in perception is extremely likely to be temporary: they watched an inspiring film, say, and decided the world was rosy. The change in behaviour will last until the new perception is challenged sufficiently by reality.
I think it is very unusual that core values are actually changed, but it can happen that they are obscured by perceptions. For example, the person who is very fearful about material well-being due to their perception of the world may not appear to value honesty because all their behaviour suggests otherwise and it's not until the fear dissipates that the person is revealed as placing any value on truth.
It could be argued (nature vs nurture) that ALL core values are only a consequence of past experiences. However, genetic research proves that we're not all born alike as blank slates as far as behavioural tendencies (identical twins are more alike than fraternal twins) -- but I doubt it would be possible to draw a line as nature and nurture seem to act together in influencing our approach to life/personality. | |
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