| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:02:56 PM | I noticed something pretty strange in my time on these forums, mainly men calling women gold diggers for demanding that a man have a job and/or a car. Since when did looking for something other than street bums start to mean that these women are gold diggers.
Being a man myself, I am embarrassed by all those on these forums that refer to these women as gold diggers. Get off the couch, get on the bus, and go get yourself a JOB! It doesn't make her a gold digger, it just makes you a moron for calling her that.
I think some of us need to meet some real gold diggers because we have lost touch | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:08:09 PM | Indeed. I have 2 jobs, and a car..I'm also a single parent. If I can accomplish that much..why can't he? Is it too much to expect the same from a potential partner, that he have ambition and be working towards the future? I think not..
I am definitely not a gold-digger..I pay my own way, support my kids 100% on my own, and expect nothing from a potential S/O other than love/emotional support. I have never relied on a man to support me, and I never will. I have far too much pride for that.  | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:11:38 PM |
Since when did looking for something other than street bums start to mean that these women are gold diggers.
That might be, but just because they're not working or have a car doesn't make them bums. I go to school full-time and I find it convenient to use the train when getting from point A to point B.
I'd only get worried if she kept harping on what I make or what car I drive or how much money I make, then the red flags would go up. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:15:33 PM | Totally agree with breathless,
Ambition, preserverence, intelligence, and a drive to succeed are traits that we all look for in the opposite sex (or should). Personally, I wouldn't even consider a woman that would date me if I decided to stay at home and not work and strive to make a living. What does that say about her?
I have nothing but respect for hard working men/women that have been laid off and are working 8-12 hours a day looking for employment. We all have periods that we are in between jobs, what's important is that you are putting 110% into getting ahead regardless of your situation. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:16:38 PM | I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman expecting a man to be as self-sufficient as he expects her to be. If I can do it on my tiny fixed income, there's no excuse for others to not be able to do the same. Expecting a man to be able to support himself and not become a financial burden to the woman is hardly gold digging, even though way too many men believe otherwise.
Edit: My opinion is that any legal form of income is ok and as long as he can get himself where he needs to be whether he has a car or not, that's ok too. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:25:28 PM | Yeah, 'cause we all have access to public transportation (Hooray for overpriced Taxis) and/or friends/family/etc. available that will help us out with getting from point A to point B. /sarcasm
I wouldn't call women gold diggers for expecting those things out of a man, but don't expect them out of a boy. 
Also, I'm sure this has been said many, many times.. but it's nearly impossible to get a job anywhere right now. Wikipedia refers to me as a "discouraged worker", yet I do as much work as I can, asking for side jobs from people and the occasional computer repair job, but where does my pay go? Food and a few other mandatory things. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:27:14 PM | Those comments only come from broke @ss people. People that have nothing to offer anyone. They see objects as ways to win people over or to compensate others when they wrong them. So when they can't afford to "buy" people off it becomes an issue!
Besides, what else would you expect from the people who brought you "who pays for the coffee". There are people out there with the mentality to believe that women use guys for coffee. They often spend hours to get ready and drive over to the place and their only motives are to land a free $4 dollar cup of coffee!
Cheap @ss people. Around here that same cup of smoking Joe is 7 bucks and I'd gladly pay! | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:28:55 PM | So does it mean if men want a woman to cook and clean they are sexist and too much into gender roles?
Sadly many men and women are out of work due to the economy, looking for work doesn't mean a job is out there that will cover your expenses and leave you with enough disposable income to shower someone in the manner many on POF expect.
Not making excuses for lazy men/women or those who have no ambition but the reality is that wanting a man to have a job and a car is not being a gold digger, a job and a car means to a woman that you are responsible and will take responsibility in that relationship.
However if you both are not able to wether this storm of insecurity and she still expects too much from you then either she is insensitive or you just cannot put yourself out there to date anyone until you have financial stability.
The best things in life are free, something to think about.............. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:30:35 PM | Also, I'm sure this has been said many, many times.. but it's nearly impossible to get a job anywhere right now.
No it's not....I see people around me getting jobs. Excuses, excuses! | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:39:19 PM | | Ive met one or two GDs' in my day..One girl showed up on the date, showed me either a loan book on a car, or something, I know it was cupon book for a loan. Said if I took care of this, she would take care of me...I asked her to take her little book and ideas On DOWN DA ROAD!! Dont even want to get into the other one | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:41:30 PM | i'm kinda torn on this subject because i think there are legitimate arguments for both points of view. i also think the heart of this question is really about how subjective some people can be towards dating...
here in chicago, it's not unheard of for people to be without a car since we have busses, trains, cabs and various other modes of public transportation. a good friend of mine simply rents a car when he wants to since he can walk to work and get around to where he needs to without one (he does have a job, though).
i don't, however, think it's too much to ask that a potential mate has a job. that's one of those things every adult should have, but with the economy the way it is these days, it's kinda hard to say...
meanwhile, and i say this to anyone who will listen, i think the reason why relationships fail so often is because the parameters that we set for them aren't that important in the grand scheme of things. i hear people say things like, "i don't date outside my race" or "he's got to be at least x-feet tall" or some other list of attributes...what about what kind of person he/she is or what kinds of dreams they have? honestly, if i found a woman who was good to me and good for me, i'd be right next to her on the bus every time she had to go to the unemployment office... | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:43:14 PM | That is quite a rush to judgment. Personally I wouldn't want to date a girl unless she had a car. "Student" is good enough of a job for me.
If a woman has on her profile "must have Lamborghini and six figure salary," that might be considered gold digging! | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:43:31 PM |
Those comments only come from broke @ss people.
Often, at least on the forums here, it seems....people get angry at others not being interested in them for things that they themselves are too lazy to change about themselves. Which is fine, if that's how one wants to live their life, to each their own. Just don't kvetch that it won't necessarily make you everyone's cup of tea. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:50:53 PM | Could you provide a couple links where you are getting your information from?
In my time here I haven't run across any forum where someone wrote "I read a profile where she said a guy shouldn't contact her if they don't have a job and/or car. I wish we could get rid of all these gold diggers off this site!"
And then everyone for the rest of the forum said "Yeah buddy! They're all gold diggers!"
When I read the forums I see people calling women gold diggers for either seemingly valid reasons, to vent, or to be an ass.
But there are just as many people calling them on venting or being an ass as supporting the valid reasons.
So why are you embarrassed by someone that proves they are an ass, or takes out their frustration on others? Isn't that a little presumptuous? Maybe condescending?
Or are you just trying to billboard yourself that you are sensitive towards the plight of women and their overwhelmingly biased status as victims on this site? | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 5:57:17 PM | If you live 2 hours away from each other, they both better have a job and a car. It only seems fair to have things sort of on an equal basis. I don't ask how much someone makes, but I do think it is important that they have a good job. These days you do appreciate that.
Now if you exclusively date only those that live close by, no car is required.
$7 for coffee? Geez, you can get a supersized meal at McD's for that, then you would be doing lunch or dinner and not just a coffee date/meet... | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 6:06:15 PM | " Since when did looking for something other than street bums start to mean that these women are gold diggers."
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So unless you have job and a car, you're a street bum? | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 6:09:10 PM |
One girl showed up on the date, showed me either a loan book on a car, or something, I know it was cupon book for a loan. Said if I took care of this, she would take care of me...
oh, holy fcuk!! I SO hope you are kidding....
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 6:10:50 PM |
No it's not....I see people around me getting jobs. Excuses, excuses!
Congratulations, you have the luxury of living in a big city. You must be very proud of yourself. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 7:02:00 PM | | We are living in a world where many companies are pushing their employees to do the job of 4 people, working on skeleton crews. Having a job, just being laid off, or whatever it may be, all depends on the field of work you are in. Small town or big city... the economy is terrible now. Many of my friends have taken 20% paycuts and they are still thankful they have a job. Look at the housing market... recession - I hope it will be over soon. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 7:06:57 PM |
Being a man myself, I am embarrassed by all those on these forums that refer to these women as gold diggers. Get off the couch, get on the bus, and go get yourself a JOB! It doesn't make her a gold digger, it just makes you a moron for calling her that.
Until a woman is paying my way and playing taxi, those things are none of her business unless she is looking for a guy to pay for more than dates. You tell me what that means in terms of a golddigger. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 7:07:40 PM | Very true! I have a very large house, that I own- a fantastic career and an SUV... so would a man be called a gold digger for wanting to date me if he had a little less or none of that? Probably not lol! I want a man to have a job he likes and a car and his own life together not because I want or need finance from him, I just simply like people who have their lives together as I have mine together.
Not everyone here though considers these things important nor that the preference makes one a gold digger. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 7:21:41 PM |
Until a woman is paying my way and playing taxi, those things are none of her business unless she is looking for a guy to pay for more than dates. You tell me what that means in terms of a golddigger.
Obviously it doesn't mean anything, if you aren't expecting her to play taxi or pay your way. It also probably doesn't mean anything towards your "unless she is looking for a guy to pay for more than dates" comment either, which really wasn't in the context the OP was speaking of; it just means that she expects you to be self-sufficient and supporting yourself. You'd be surprised at how many men aren't, and when the women they meet aren't interested in either supporting them right off the bat, or have heard one-too-many sob stories to buy that crap anymore....well let's just say you might find it surprising how many of those men turn around and say "Well you must be a gold-digger then".
Anybody, male or female, who is able-bodied and capable, IMO, should work and support themselves. But it is...well actually, it isn't, really, surprising, that the ones who kvetch "he won't pay for this" or "she is a gold-digger"...are usually the ones who are just too lazy to get off their damned asses and join the adult world. | |
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| Must have car and job=gold digger?
Posted: 7/23/2009 7:22:30 PM | OP - I think it goes both ways, as men looking for women or women looking for men - many people want to date someone who is living a similar lifestyle. I don't think its being a gold digger - although gold diggers are around and come in both sexes.
I will use myself as an example - I am not looking to be "kept" by a man, or to "keep" a man I date. I would like to meet someone who could afford to do some of the things that I enjoy doing, and that can be restrictive at times for someone on a tiny budget. This is not to say that I expect to be wined and dined all the time, as I enjoy returning a man's kindness after he has treated me. I enjoy going out for dinner occassionally, doing some travelling, and attending some sporting events/concerts. I don't want to date someone who cannot do some of these things, because I am looking for someone to share my life with, and these activities are part of my life, as they are financial choices that I choose to make. We all have priorities in our life and I think its more about finding someone with a lifestyle or priorities that are complimentary. | |
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