| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 2:01:57 PM | Okay, so I've been wrestling with this one for awhile, and I'd appreciate some input.
I currently know at least 4 people that have herpes. And being that most of them all hang out at the same place where everyone kind of sleeps with each other, I'm willing to bed there are probably many more I'm not aware of. But anyway here's my question.
Whenever one of these people starts talking to someone I'm friends with, I feel obligated to inform my friend of their situation just to give them a heads up about it. Especially since some of these people are not always honest with those they get involved with. I don't feel bad about doing this. In no way am I trying to be disrespectful to those with herpes by telling other people their private business, but when it affects my friends, it's not just their business anymore. And I would expect my friends to give me a heads up if I was about to walk into something like that.
But when I see these people talking to a random person I don't know and I can tell they're going to go home together that night, I feel kind of guilty not saying anything to the other person. Even though I don't know them, it just feels wrong to let somebody walk into that without warning them first.
How much responsibility do you have to inform a stranger that they're about to walk into something dangerous? Or is it just up to them to be responsibile enough to ask and hope the other person is honest with them? | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 2:11:57 PM | | I really think that it is none of your concern. If your "clean" friends are having sex with your "herpes" friends, that is their own business. If they choose unsafe sex, that's a risk they take for themselves. And unless you were standing in a medical office with them when doctor said they had herpes, then you don't know for sure that they do have herpes. | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 2:27:15 PM | As long as people keep sleeping around, they have a greater chance of contracting it anyway, whether you blow the whistle or not.
... and those who aren't promiscuous, it only takes one time with someone who might not even know they have it.
Sex was never meant to be entertainment for all who would want it....but that's a whole different subject. | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 3:25:28 PM | laffs..
Arent you just the bearer of craptastic news!! Misery loves company I suppose.
Perhaps O.P. is bitter because one of her friends with herpes gave it to her!
I think you should keep your mouth shut, if your friends dont take precautions when having sex then basically they will have to deal with the out come. You shooting off your big mouth wont do anything for you except get your ass kicked!!! | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 3:36:10 PM |
In no way am I trying to be disrespectful to those with herpes by telling other people their private business, but when it affects my friends, it's not just their business anymore.
Well yeah, it is just their business. What 2 other consenting adults agree to do certainly isn't your business. | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 3:43:42 PM | | I guess I'm the only one who agrees they should be told. But maybe you should ask the people with herpes if they are telling the people they're having sex with. If they're not, you should definitely tell them. They have a right to know. Because it IS possible to get herpes from someone even if you're using a condom, as these people who are replying must not know. Just the contact of the pubic area, the part that isn't covered by a condom, can transmit it. And if these people are not telling people they're having sex with, that is immoral. Herpes is incurable, just like AIDS. And that is not right to not tell someone you are about to have sex with that you have it. It should come from that person, rather than you, but if they're not telling... | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 3:45:09 PM | Do unto others....
I would *SO* tell whomever. I know too many young people getting it and spreading it. If I were in a position to narc them out, you bet your a$$ I would if it meant saving even ONE person from having to go through it.
Think of it as a public service!
(Besides, those people SHOULD be disclosing it anyway.) | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 3:52:48 PM | | Listen bro. If anyone you know has herpes you'd better freaking tell that person they are talking to because what the F would you do if your friend knew of a girl you were talking to who had it but didn't tell you?? For all the people who say it's none of your business, they are TOTAL jackasses and probably have it themselves. If you can make a difference with just one person and allow them to "not get it" from one person, then you've done a good deed man. I tell any girl i talk to that if they were to give me something like this, i'd kill them. I don't give a rat's ass how mean i may come across but i care about my health and body and would destroy someone if they gave me something like this. | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 4:40:49 PM |
I tell any girl i talk to that if they were to give me something like this, i'd kill them. I don't give a rat's ass how mean i may come across but i care about my health and body and would destroy someone if they gave me something like this.
yo, mr. good citizenship - port orange police should have a copy of this to keep on file, no? | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 4:48:22 PM | | I'm with you AWP.. If I had friends that I was worried about, I'd make sure they were aware of the fires that burned in the background... (pun only sorta intended?) | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 4:50:39 PM | As a Guy I have to say if you did that to me, I can assure we would have a problem
actually i get the OP's post but I might say I heard instead of I know cuz how do you know and mabye the person doesnt | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 4:50:53 PM | Because it IS possible to get herpes from someone even if you're using a condom, as these people who are replying must not know. Just the contact of the pubic area, the part that isn't covered by a condom, can transmit it.
Yeah, they should be told.... sex isn't important enough to see someone's life ruined...
Which also brings up an interesting point...
Does someone who has Herpes bother to inform their partner if they are using a condom in the mistaken belief that as long as the condom is there it protects the other person, so no point in telling them? Now THAT would be disturbing...
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:00:37 PM | | I at first had a hard time with this. I know a couple of people with herpes. Growing up in the times that i have-alot of people do eachothers partners(girlfriends and boyfriends) and try to keep everything on the hush hush. Instead of me telling people that the infected people are trying to get with-i tell the person im intimately involved with. I do this to prevent myself from going to jail. Alot of these people that are infected will spread it-out of spite-and because they feel their chances of gettin sex from the opposite sex are slim. I tell for my safety and my partners safety-cuz had i caught it from my partner-because someone i know gave it to em-alot of u would see me on the news for breakin a couple of limbs-and i wouldnt feel sry about it either | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:03:01 PM | Would it not be better to talk to those that you know have the disease, about how important it is to be open and honest about it with any and all their partners?
To many do not share those things, and thus, I ask them BEFORE we get to that point, and I ask them to be tested with me to prove it, share the results with each other, and be open and honest about what we are doing and why.
If after all of this, someone somehow still withheld or was not honest, that is a way to get outed by using the lawyers to start the process of a civil and/or criminal suit, which I would not hesitate using if deceived.
Just my opinion........   | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:09:53 PM | Hey davidPiano,
Go hug some trees you brainless left wing liberal and while you're at it send the PO police my statement that i made. It's obvious from your posts that you are a brainless left wing liberal who has been conditioned by the media and are called the sheep who follows the herd. LOL@you. | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:12:07 PM |
I currently know at least 4 people that have herpes. And being that most of them all hang out at the same place where everyone kind of sleeps with each other,
Im sorry but if all these people are hanging out sleeping with each other, then why is it that O.P. is the only one who knows about this situation??
Sounds kind of strange to me. | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:21:16 PM | | If Im interested in someone, try to keep up here, and a friend tells me that person has herpes aids whatever, Id do what a Man does and ask that person myself and make my own choice. a sheep would listen to your idiocy | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:24:45 PM | Hi Everyone,
There is a post in the AB section done by Scrappin Kitty and alot of comments about it that you should read.
STDs - use a condom
Posted: 7/20/2006 3 06 PM
It has come to my attention that alot of people dont know what HPV, HSV1 and HSV2 are but willing to have intimate encounters no mattter if you claim you have it. What I can tell you is that all of the above are noncureable and to use a condom to keep yourself safe.
HPV: genital warts
HSV1: cold sores (herpes)
HSV2: genital herpes
The other reason I bring this up is because I have contacted HSV2 and would like to help educate some of you. Im not claiming that I have all the answers, but hoping to highlight individuals that IT COULD EASILY HAPPEN TO YOU. My doctor and I believe that my belated husband was a carrier of HSV2 and this is how I contacted it. Some people believe if you don't have the symptoms then you are safe to have sex without a condom, which in fact is NOT TRUE and there are times a person will shed the virus.
PLEASE PLAY SAFE and USE A CONDOM | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:29:56 PM | ignorance is bliss pls make an educated decision and never assume but anyways the posts are under Scrappin_Kitty.
But one person commented in the topic thats very important
STDs - use a condom
Posted: 7/20/2006 4:03:09 PM
Some people believe if you don't have the symptoms then you are safe to have sex without a condom, which in fact is NOT TRUE and there are times a person will shed the virus.
I can't tell you how many times I had to have that talk with some of the teens who came into the clinic I recently worked in.
They would sit across the room from me when I was going over the list of precautions they needed to take and act so bored. They knew it all ... but having had four of my own teens, I was never offended by it ... just continued with my little "speech" knowing that soon I'd come to the part that would get their attention.
That was the part about shedding the virus even if they are not showing actual symptoms ... almost all appeared to be shocked! HELLO! ... That got their attention! Some appeared to refuse to believe it until I asked them the following question:
"Would you have had sex with the person you contracted it from if you thought that person was contagious?" Overwhelmingly ... the answer was, "No"!
The other issue we found that most knew nothing about was directed more at the ladies ... especially those at high risk for becoming pregnant. We went over how important it was to be checked regularly ... during the pregnancy and right before giving birth ... to monitor whether or not there was an active outbreak. Important was to share with them the effects it would have on their babies when giving birth vaginally with an active outbreak in progress ... the need to share with their OB/GYN's (no matter how embarrassing) the information that they have the disease.
It's not easy for a person to put it right out there in a public forum that they are infected ... I admire the OP for doing this for the sake of all who will read this and hopefully benefit from it. | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 5:48:26 PM | Perhaps O.P. is bitter because one of her friends with herpes gave it to her!
Her? Holy shit! When did I get a sex change?
Details aren't your strong suit are they, pumpkin? 
Im sorry but if all these people are hanging out sleeping with each other, then why is it that O.P. is the only one who knows about this situation??
Sounds kind of strange to me.
Who says I'm the only one that knows about it? A handful of people know about it. It's just not common knowledge to everyone up there.
I must say after the first 5 posts, I was beginning to wonder if anybody had any sense of compassion or loyalty to friends. I'm glad to see the second half of the post somewhat changed its tone.
A couple of people asked how I knew these people had it and it wasn't just hearsay. These people have told me themselves that they have it. They've also told me they're not always honest with the people they sleep with that they have it. That's the whole reason I feel put in this position.
Then there is at least one of these people that is the mean and vindictive type that will intentionally lie to people about it. This guy was actively trying to give it to his ex-girlfriend he was still sleeping with.
Can you not see how that puts me in an awkward position?
Now, if I tell somebody and they go off and do it anyway, then that's on them. That's their decision. But I've only known one person that actually did that. Everyone else was thankful and didn't go through with it.
I think c deacon has probably the best idea about talking to them about being more honest, but the problem is they already know that on a mental level. It's an insecurity/emotional reason they're not always honest. And I can totally understand it. If they meet somebody they really like, there's a good chance being honest with them will scare them off. But that doesn't make it okay not to tell them.
To those that think I'm in the wrong here, let me ask you something. If you contracted herpes from someone that was dishonest with you and you later found out that a friend of yours knew about it in advance and didn't tell you, how would you feel? | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 6:52:51 PM |
And I would expect my friends to give me a heads up if I was about to walk into something like that.
I would too!
Friends don't let friends f*ck when there will be known and permanent repercussions.
I don't see it as being any different than warning your friends about a married guy or an alcoholic or that they have broccoli in their teeth...it's ALL valuable information that I would want to know about and I would thank you very much for telling me.
My allegiance would be to MY friends.
But if these other people are also friends of yours why don't you ask them why they don't inform others of the risk?
Shouldn't that be against the law?
Also if these people ARE your friends then I would seriously reconsider the friendship as they are so deceitful and intentionally misleading people about their status.
Does someone who has Herpes bother to inform their partner if they are using a condom in the mistaken belief that as long as the condom is there it protects the other person, so no point in telling them? Now THAT would be disturbing...
Condoms can break so there is ALWAYS a risk...so yes, you ALWAYS tell!
A couple of people asked how I knew these people had it and it wasn't just hearsay. These people have told me themselves that they have it. They've also told me they're not always honest with the people they sleep with that they have it. That's the whole reason I feel put in this position.
Then there is at least one of these people that is the mean and vindictive type that will intentionally lie to people about it. This guy was actively trying to give it to his ex-girlfriend he was still sleeping with.
Can you not see how that puts me in an awkward position?
No, now I can't. Tell EVERYone and don't feel bad about it!
These unconscionable people sound like a complete waste of skin to me.
And to the people who wouldn't tell their OWN friends...you suck!
Who cares if we are all adults?
Sometimes alcohol can impair your judgement and you need a friend to set you straight and keep you safe. If you knowingly let your friend go off and have sex with an infected person and they found out about it exactly how long do you think they'd be your friend for?
Not much longer than it takes to deliver a well-deserved punch in the face!
I'm glad I have much better friends than you!  | |
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| Informing People That Someone Has Herpes
Posted: 7/24/2009 7:02:45 PM |
To those that think I'm in the wrong here, let me ask you something. If you contracted herpes from someone that was dishonest with you and you later found out that a friend of yours knew about it in advance and didn't tell you, how would you feel?
I dont rely on others to tell me if they are STD free! There is a lovely little thing called "universal precautions" and if you are ignorant enough not to use those precautions, then you have no one to blame but yourself.
Its not up to my friends or lovers to be honest or dishonest to me. It is up to ME to make mature choices in who I f*ck around with and who I dont!!
There is only one person who I hold responsable for what happens to me..and that is ME! So these little ****es that run around and gossip trying to be a hero in everyone elses life, can keep their comments to themselves because why should I believe them. They could be lying out of spite! Because their lives are so pathetic that the only way they can gain attention is to make up stories about everyone else around them!
YES!! I did mistake you for female because I dont run across to many real men who would come here and brag about being little gossiping heros!! | |
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