| A new update and revision for the profile.
Posted: 7/25/2009 8:26:56 AM | Hello everyone. I have been here a couple of times already but here I am again like the return of the repressed seeking wise counsel. My profile has been commented on before - I have checked the comments on it in earlier versions and was surprised that many people seemed to think it was alright. Some comments about improving the pictures have been made - often most forcefully by male commentators - and I take the point. But, I have very few pictures in any form of myself - less than seven or eight probably. I only have two digital images and these are on plentyoffish already. I explain this in my new updated profile as you may see.
I am asking about this now because so few people are responding positively to either my profile or my messages. To date on this site I have only had one person respond to a "cold call" message; no one has written to me at all in the same manner with a realistic approach (I've had a message from Spain about whether I can help teach English and from Canada). I am obviously doing something pretty alienating to a great deal of people and I am not sure what it is. So I would be interested in hearing what you have to say.
Many thanks in advance. | |
|
| A new update and revision for the profile.
Posted: 7/25/2009 12:01:37 PM | I don't see anything terribly wrong with your profile. You may benefit from some more photos that show you doing some fun activities.
Your primary efforts at meeting women should be in the real world. How is that working out for you? What happens when you meet women in real life? | |
|
| A new update and revision for the profile.
Posted: 7/26/2009 4:37:35 AM | Thank you for your response luvnlife2. It is quiet encouraging.
The problem with the photos is explained in the original post. Until I can get some pictures from friends or buy yet another camera I am stuck with these for now. But I haven't had facial reconstruction since they were taken, so they aren't miselading as such.
I am a bit surprised why so few people have read this post and why only one person has responded to this request so far. I note the mass responses that others get. That seems to be the way things are going at he moment so there you go!
As for your questions I do meet women in the real world but they tend to be people I already know. Very rarely do I meet new people. Although I am affable and can be good in company I am the kind of person who goes to a pub or restaurant on my own and never gets into conversation. On the rare occasions when I meet women they are usually married or part of a couple. Of course, although I get on well with most women and I do develop friendships with women I meet I am not always attracted to them nor they to me: this is the obstacle that has to be overcome at some point. I have known many women I have been attracted to - but they have almost always been "spoken for" or been moving on to pastures new and so unavailable in that way. When I was younger I probably let one or two people pass me by, but that was over 25 years ago so there is not much point in worrying about that.
I am not really sure what to do. A few people recommended this site to me as a kind of sure-fire way of meeting women. Well, I have virtually run out of people to whom I can send messages who live in my area. My only hope currently seems to be that something may yet come of one of those or that someone will soon join who is a possible match. I am nervous about that possibility, too. Meeting someone would be such a high stake event due to its rarity. | |
|
| A new update and revision for the profile.
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:31:25 AM |
I am the kind of person who goes to a pub or restaurant on my own and never gets into conversation.
It sounds like you need to expand your social sphere and start participating in social groups and activities where you will meet women. I don't know what it's like where you live, but I suggest that you find groups and activities to join. Consider taking dance classes, join a walking group, join a bicycle riding group, historical preservation groups, etc.
Make sure that all of your friends and family members know that you would like to meet someone. One of them may know someone who would be a good match for you. Don't be afraid to go out with women that you are not initially attracted to. I know of many cases where people were not initially attracted, but they came together over time as they got to know each other.
The bottom line is that you need to get out of the house in order to meet people. It is a big mistake to rely solely on the Internet to find a companion.
Good luck to you. | |
|
| A new update and revision for the profile.
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:26:57 AM | Make getting a new photo as big a priority as meeting someone special so you can get rid of that paragraph about it. Today, put a caption on the picture like "recent photo but I shave my head now".
Loose the part about seeing why I should not have been single for so long, it makes it sound like there is something wrong with you.
The profile is very well written, organized, and articulate. Bundle that with your credentials and it's easy to see that you are very smart. Some people are afraid of someone smarter than they are, they are humbled. But don't dumb it down unless you are comfortable with someone with a lower intellect than you. Target your audience.
This is only my opinion, but I gave it some thought and I'm just trying to help. | |
|
| A new update and revision for the profile.
Posted: 8/20/2009 4:33:05 AM | | After some time I am reviving my message on my profile. Thank you for all the advice here so far. I have now updated my profile taking on board as many of the comments as I could - I have altered the title of the page, changed some of the wording in the profile and added a caption to the photo. I still have a problem with getting action photographs, though - as I say I have lost my camera and despite asking several people for digitial pictures of me to use they still have not materialised! However, I would be interested in any comments from anyone about the way the profile currently reads. I hope it is a little more positive and focused. However, sadly, I have to report that I am still not getting much response from people in my area. I have worked hard at sending out a lot of messages so far this summer and I had high hopes of some positive uptake but that has not been the way it has turned out to date. Any comments will be gratefully received. | |
|
| A new update and revision for the profile.
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:04:22 AM |
However, sadly, I have to report that I am still not getting much response from people in my area. I have worked hard at sending out a lot of messages so far this summer and I had high hopes of some positive uptake but that has not been the way it has turned out to date. I hope you aren't relying only on Internet dating to meet women. You are getting out of the house and meeting women in real life aren't you? | |
|
| A new update and revision for the profile.
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:45:06 AM | Hello luvnlife2,
Thanks for your message. You make a good point in the comment above. Of course, I do get out and about - I go to work, I catch trains there and back, I go shopping, I go out with friends for drinks and meals, I go to galleries and concerts and I also now visit a local gym etc etc. In all of these situations I meet men and women. But, I have not for a very long time met a single eligible woman: this is my great sadness and frustration. I have taken advice from people here - I try to make a point of saying nice things in passing to women I meet in shops or at the station, I try to present a positive impression of myself with humour (which I am usually quite good at) and I show kindness where possible.
Sadly, though, I am in the position where I AM relying on the internet as a means of meeting women. I have not asked a woman out for years - because, as I say, there are so few around! (On the few occasions when I have plucked up courage to verbally ask a woman out on a date rather than an informal after works drink, I have never accepted by the way; that has always been puzzling to me.) I have put a massive effort into dating through the internet over this summer - I have sent out many messages on this site and on others; I had one date a couple of weeks ago and (with full respect to her) I could not really envisage a long term relationship with her as I felt we did not have much in common not did I feel a "buzz" of excitement at the prospect of meeting her again. I have female friends who are married or in relationships for whom I do or have had such a "buzz", but it would, of course, be wrong to act on that impulse.
I do feel very "stuck" in all this. I know I have to have patience and all things come to those who wait etc etc, but I can't help feeling as time passes that life has happened elsewhere and without needing my contribution. And that is very sad. My rephrased profile is entitled "Seize the Day": I am hoping that there shall be something to seize at some point in the next few months! | |
|
Home
login 
