| | HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?Page 1 of 1 | | so... I am wondering .... how is the best way to make the first contact..... and does a guy just look at my pic and say forget it? I have tried simple contacts, and I have tried bringing something from their profile into the first contact, but honestly, I would not get contacted at ALL if I did not make the first move..... tell me please???!!!! | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:04:25 AM | | In a calm manner. Many women have emailed me on POF out of the blue. And i saw them as women that took charge of their life somewhat. We are the same as you women on this one, if she talks like a nut we don't like her email...but if she says hello my name is so and so and so and nice profile or nice suit or nice pictures, and how's your day going? | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:05:47 AM | maybe they are afraid you're gonna kick their azz
trial and error.keep doing whatever you're doing.some people get flooded with email and dont respond.some are looking for someone very specific.
don't change to what you think people want.....if you do that you wont make a good match anyway. | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:09:11 AM | Free Sex, will usually get a response right away.
Seriously though, yes, we look at your picture first as does everyone. Your profile is a little sparse and you could use a couple of more pictures.
Other than that no one really knows how to get all the responses we want. Try changing your profile around.
A simple hi thought you were cute and would like to talk email works for me. | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:15:11 AM | | Let's do an experiment here. You women in here start the emailing me process and i will then do a followup of more things for you to do to keep my interest.... There..you see...im smart and love to help you women. | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:23:35 AM | LOL.... I thought that would be the answer.... FREE SEX and everyone would answer....
I understand what you guys are saying, but I guess what I am asking is:
Does it bother you if a lady contacts you first OR would you rather contact them... OR is this a personal thing????
AND..... if a younger guy contacts me and says older women are hot, is this a booty call??? | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:27:23 AM | Here are some of the things (in no particular order of importance) that I look for:
1.) The basics: I'm going to do a quick "once-over" looking at pictures, age, location, etc.. basically I'm looking for an overall sense of "does this have any chance of working?"... (example: If she's a mother of 6 in Florida, I'm probably not going to invest much effort in that. If she's a single girl in my own town/age range, I'm much more tempted to keep reading)
1.) How well does she communicate?... It doesn't have to be perfect spelling/grammar, but does she get her ideas across clearly?.. (The way a person communicates is often an indicator of how well/bad they'll communicate in a relationship). Does she pick up on little things in the conversation and use them ?..
2.) What does she think we have in common? (if anything).... If I get a generic message that says: "Hey, I think you're cute, and that we might get along well,.. msg me!"... I'm probably not responding to that. (I want to know WHY you think we'll get along). While its nice if you mention something specific you saw in my profile, its much better if you take something you saw in my profile and somehow relate it back to yourself (make a "connection" between my profile and yours). That sets up a subtle mental-connection. It makes the reader sub-consciously think: "I can see the two of us together doing that!"
3.) Creativity. .... show some personality. Put a little fun into your message. I want to know the person I'm talking back and forth with has the ability (or intelligence) to keep things fresh, lively and interesting. (no matter the circumstances)...
4.) Structure the message in a way that leaves it "open-ended"....(encourages me to respond)... If you just send me a message that says something about yourself, and thats it... I'm going to wonder how to respond. If on the other hand, you ask some questions, or provide an easy opening to continue the conversation, I'm much more likely to keep the conversation going.
If a female sends me a message, and weaves some of the above things together, it has a pretty good chance of getting a response....( am I asking to much?) | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 9:55:42 AM | Personally I love to receive emails and respond to everyone that I have ever received, both of them.
And sex is probably on the mind of a younger man contacting an older woman but it doesn't mean that it is a booty call by any means. I tend to date older woman and find them extremely hot because they are aware of their sexuality and I need someone who is compatible in that area.
So the answer to your question is yes, and no.
bet that didn't help at all
sorry | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:21:16 AM | 
Never thought I'll be agreeing with a Bubba. Interesting thing about e-mail. If you get an email that says, "Hey, I like your smile or profile or whatever, feel free to write back if you're interested," well, most folks with any manners will write back. And, the first thing that they usually will do is to check out your profile, something that they would not have done if you had not sent the email. If they don't write back, they're, of course, not interested. But, a fair number might find something of interest, might find you very date worthy. But, the bottom line is, you've increased your chances by writing that teeny weeny one or two line message. In business, it's called advertising and marketing. In the romance world, it's called -- I don't know what it's called. Forget I wrote the last line.
Well, why don't you just delete it you might ask? What?!!! And destroy my opus finis coronat email!! ? My masterpiece!? I need a beer ... | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:22:16 AM |
how is the best way to make the first contact.....
For me, all the lady has to do is say hi. I will look at the profile and I think we might be a match, I would definitely get in touch. | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:33:09 AM |
Personally I love to receive emails and respond to everyone that I have ever received, both of them.
And sex is probably on the mind of a younger man contacting an older woman but it doesn't mean that it is a booty call by any means. I tend to date older woman and find them extremely hot because they are aware of their sexuality and I need someone who is compatible in that area.
So the answer to your question is yes, and no.
bet that didn't help at all
sorry
lol....yeah both ..i agree
i agree about the older women thing.while i find the young 'eye candy' nice to look at there is usually nothing beyond that.younger ones tend to be emotionally high maintenance.of course there are always exceptions just as there are older women the opposite. | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:38:50 AM |
how is the best way to make the first contact
By taking your time and putting thought into it?
And if that guy doesn't reply don't take it out on the next guy by putting less effort into it?
and does a guy just look at my pic and say forget it?
Some guys will. Some guys will look at your picture. Then move onto your profile. And then say forget it.
Some guys will look at your picture, then look at your profile, and then their wife or girlfriend will catch them and she will tell him to forget it.
Different people will approach things differently.
tell me please???
Maybe you would be helped by the profile review section and then the suggestions mulled over with your friends and family who know you best and can tell you if what you are saying about yourself is true?
Does it bother you if a lady contacts you first OR would you rather contact them... OR is this a personal thing????
It's a personal thing.
Some men prefer the lady to contact first.
Some men prefer a lady to not contact them first.
Some men prefer to contact a lady first if they could have a dating/LTR with that lady, but would prefer a lady to contact them first if they only want to use her for some sort of gratification/validation.
Some men prefer a lady to contact them first if they could have a dating/LTR with that lady, but prefer to contact women they just want to use for some sense of gratification/validation.
if a younger guy contacts me and says older women are hot, is this a booty call???
Depends on how younger.
I would just generalize and say between 1 to 7 years younger it isn't always just an attempt at a "booty" call. But if they only say in their message "older women are hot" then it probably is.
Anything 7+ years younger almost always will be. But the younger they are then the more vague "older women are hot" becomes.
But it also depends on your interests and personality. Maybe those are more aligned to someone that is extremely younger than you.
Such as if you paintball every other day, and play Wii, Xbox, and playstation3 while baked, and only talk in text speech.
Rather than curl up at night to the collected works of William Shakespeare after finishing work on cancer research and the days legal and political reviews.
Different interests and different means of communication about yourself will attract different types of people. Sometimes it's polarized by what you can communicate on here. | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:41:51 AM | Write a nice poem that hints at the many pleasures awaiting the man whose good fortune wears your smile. But remember it's for a man, so go easy on the kittens and butterflies. Try to use the words "bastion" and "indolent" at least once each; several times if possible for the theme you choose. The whole idea of women is overwhelmingly positive to men from the start, and so all you really need to do is maintain that optimistic expectation without screwing it up. There are two ways you can screw it up. One is to expose your wary, skeptical, mistrust of men and dating and romance generally, which will make you sound hopelessly warped and embittered by some past experience and as such, a whole lot of work for nothing in return. The other is to announce your availability to be pursued. Sometimes a woman will send an email that amounts to a poke in the ribs, as if to say, "Hey! I'm here. You may begin to win me now." Why that's offensive is because it's dishonest. Once you take that step of initiating contact, you're revealed as either entirely desperate or so taken by the man's profile that his love is your new reason for being. You can't backtrack from there. He will be expecting either adoration or easy access and won't be in the mood to pretend it was his idea.
In a pinch, like late at night after four glasses of wine, having earlier that day reviewed the entire box of love letters from your last relationship, barely able to string three words together and left open to the fullest measure of human need, you can still send a good email even without making any kind of sense, by using enough smilies. These little icons will have a poetic, disarming and profound effect on the male psyche when they are read in the wee hours of the morning. For example:
 
A man who got that message should be interested. He might reply in kind, leading to a period of mutual confusion, but the result will eventually work out. | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 10:57:43 AM | ^^^^^^^^^^^You gotta love farceur's posts. Always enlightening AND entertaining.
Just think of what you would like to receive in an intial email and send this to the men.
Keep it simple. Keep it fun.  | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 11:55:04 AM | Be positive, be upbeat, be.......................buttery!
You know..........butter em up! EVERYONE likes that!
Negativity is negative and not desireable.
Women with good outlooks on life and love get great attention.
And if he doesn't respond, don't worry about it.
He just wasn't interested.........nothing personal. | |
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| HOW should a woman first contact a guy on POF?
Posted: 7/25/2009 1:03:00 PM | | Welcome to a mans world. Honestly, just keep trying. You seem to be going about it in the right way but you may be trying with the wrong guy's. When you contact a guy that's interested, he'll respond. The others aren't worth losing any sleep over. IMO | |
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