| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:56:33 AM | A woman actually wrote this the other day and it really, really hits the nail right on the head! Most guys I know also follow the same pattern:
"A guy will look at your pictures and then he will check out if you are employed and how many kids you have. If he likes what he sees he will contact you."
Yep! I thought about it and it is very true. I know a lot of women who do the same exact thing. You can say all sorts of things about yourself and what you "like", but we rarely know if it is true or not. Your looks, occupation and living condition are three things that will immediately tell us a LOT about you. You can have the most catchy headline in the world and say all sorts of fancy things, but most of us will still look at those three key things then decide.
But my question is, what are the first things you look at in a profile?
I'm especially interested in what the women look at... Just think back to when you are browsing profiles, then list the things you look at first in order. I KNOW most of you don't actually read everything we write and our interests (I don't!) so be honest. | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:22:51 AM | shallow me, first thing I look at is picture( unless they look like quasi modo this is never a deal breaker though)
then I checked if they have unfinished business .... are "seperated" or single, (I dont respond to "seperated" Im looking for a boyfriend, not to be someones bedbuddy till they find a girlfriend)
Then I look to see if they have kids, someone who doesnt might not be able to relate to the challenges this brings, plus what one does with leisure time is different when ones alone versus with kids
After that i look at what kind of work they do.. maybe im predjudice but I just dont like "oiland gas' people.. met one to many who seemed to think they were gods gift becasue they made mass cash, plus they work out of town alot and are not reliable.
not what im looking for
The last thing I look at is if they smoke/drink bleeeeeeccchhh dont mind the drinking i dont myself) but the smoking... STINKY, i used to smoke myself and never realized howe utterly revolting that smell of cigs on aperson is until I stopped.. sorry to all my exes that had to smell that
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 7:30:56 AM | I look at more than 3 things to go yea, nay or maybe...should I read the rest of the profile...
picture
city
marital status
age
want children?
profession
have children?
Some usernames are so offensive, I don't bother looking at anything else - I just click next.... | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:11:42 AM | I look for any evidence that the woman has an outlook that is not strictly averse to whimsy and absurdity, these being the main components of my personality as I imagine it. Then if she does, I look for what she doesn't want and what she does want, to see how close or far I come to those, because there is no point inflicting my attention where it can find no purchase. So far I haven't got past the outlook and preferences, but I remain hopeful in my characteristically doomed way. The pictures are nice, like postage stamps from countries where women are held in high esteem. I collected stamps when I was a kid and that's what these thumbnail pictures remind me of. Back in the day, before they had the self-stick kind, all stamps were lickable. I'm sure that fact from my memory shapes my interest in profile pictures, somehow.
Oh...wait, you said "honestly". Well, then, the first thing I look at in a profile is the picture of her face. I first have to make sure she is not someone I used to be involved with, because if she was and we already broke up, getting back together would be kind of silly, wouldn't it? | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:37:15 AM | I think we all want to find someone who is pleasing to look at. It's not shallow anymore than any other preference is. That is always my first thing.
Then height...I'm tall. The rest of the profile is important, too. It all gives me a feel for who they are as a person and potential partner. Many men write little or nothing which gives me nothing to go on...so I usually move on.
I wrote a ton about myself in my profile. The ones who read it and respond seem to really GET ME...which is the whole purpose of it. The ones who don't are probably not a good fit anyway... | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:41:32 AM | I'll look at a photo first, just to get that initial attraction, and the next thing I'll check is whether or not they have kids.
But that's just me, I can't date someone with a kid. Next would be smoking and then I'd read their profile. | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 9:19:45 AM | The first thing I look at is if they have a pic .
Then I look at their marital status.
Then I look at where they are from
If all these things are okay then I read the whole profile unless they have something really moving in their profile in the first couple lines than I read it whether I am interested in them or not just cause it makes me happy when people put their heart and soul in their profiles. | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 9:49:58 AM | | Typically the pic catches my eye first, and the general "vibe" I get from the profile dictates my interest from there, provided it's not derailed by any "red flags." Not a criteria freak. | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 10:17:41 AM | | Oh...JUST PROFILE (after the pic). Honestly? Some word or topic that sparks my interest, so we have something in common to talk about! What the hell else are we going to do on a date? | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 10:31:36 AM |
what are the first things you look at in a profile?
Depends on the profile or why I am looking at the profile.
If it's someone I saw on the forums then I go down to their last 5 posts, then location, then pictures, stats, profile, then post history.
If it's someone local and I want to see if I'm interested I scroll to the bottom to see if they posted to the forums, glancing at picture thumbs as I scroll, then back up to headline and religion, then kids status, then bottom stats (job, rel. status, wants kids, drugs), then profile, then favorites list. Although I may stop at any time and go back depending on my mood.
But it's two different mindsets between just browsing, and actively seeing if there's a romantic "match." | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 11:05:49 AM | Ummmm I look at it in the order that it is on the screen. I go from top to bottom. As I'm not looking for a man now, I am usually reading the profile as a profile review or to see who the person is posting a question or comment. You can tell where someone is coming from with that information. If they have a total smart azz profile, you know they don't respond to the forums in a serious manner or tone. If they have horrible spelling and grammar and say that they are going to college to be an English teacher, they are full of crap. Etc. etc.
Biggest turn off are pictures of babies, other people, cars/motorcycles/other toys in photos. I automatically put people in superficial categories when I see the toys and if it is a woman with a man I put them in sort of a braggart category, thinks he is all that. And of course the biggest pet peeve are idiots post pictures of babies and children, geez, dating sites shouldn't have kids in the photos, it is just wrong. It just is so not right, I don't care if you are proud of your child, be proud enough not to flaunt them on a dating site. Ohhhh and dogs that have their noses in men's crotches...do guys know how those stamp sized pictures look with a dog's nose sticking in between their legs? Gahhhh | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 12:31:35 PM | Picture first, then profile. If I don't find him attractive I probably will not respond looking to meet.
What does he have to say about himself. Is he a positive person? Does he have similar interests? a sense of humor? Does he mention family, is he smiling? What does he do for a living? It is important if you spend 5 or more days a week doing it. Does his schedule, lifestyle blend with yours? Is his job something he wanted to do or does he hate every minute of it. Is he a Chef or a Police Officer that loves his work or an office worker that is cracking under the stress. Being part of someone's life is a big deal, you either fit in or not. | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:28:26 PM | I see the picture as the entry point to the profile, you won't click on a picture if you are not reasonably attracted to the person, or if they live really far away. Therefore, the picture and location are excluded from my list, it only makes sense. Going forward...
1) Has children - Because of my personal views, I seek out women that already have children, as I have no intention of having my own. I have no problem with kids, I'm very good around children, just don't feel the need to procreate. Most (I'd say 90%) of women who do not already have children want them in the future. This also works out for me since I'm typically very busy during the week, and do not have time for a day to day relationship. Single moms have their kids and career to take care of, and are generally not getting bored and running you ragged during the week, they have much more important things to take care of.
2) Smoker - we like our own, just as many (though not the majority) of non-smokers prefer the same. We just see fellow smokers as more accepting, and (probably unfairly) view non-smokers as being overly judgemental. Same thing goes for drinking, you better be able to hold your liquor, at least be a social drinker.
3) Height - I'm 5'6, I would like my match to be 5'4 - 5'8, never got the whole petite woman thing, and wouldn't mind if you were a few inches taller. Height in heels does not count. | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 2:42:56 PM | I look for signs of intelligent life! 
For me there isn't one specific thing above all others that is a "must have" or a "deal breaker", but how a person composes his/her profile gives a lot of information about that person. Both what is included, and what is excluded.
I've "met" a number of people on this site - some in real life, some as great email friends... some that I chose not to pursue further! And I can honestly say that for me, first impressions of a profile have held to be very true.
I look for evidence that the person is bright, and fun. Everything else can be figured out as we go, but if those two ingredients are missing there will be no interest on my part. | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 4:38:44 PM | Ok, I noticed your post and I also know my order is slightly different.
I think that the first thing is a constant with all guys. We look at the picture if there is one. My second thing is to check and see if the woman smokes, has kids, etc. The things which I know will be deciding factors about whether I want to pursue things.
My next move, and this is always the case, is to read everything she's written. I don't bother with the interests list because it's my feeling that she should be able to communicate most of the things she likes in her introduction from her profile. A girl who types only a few sentences, or who can't use good spelling/grammar/punctuation, is immediately discarded. I feel whoever I'm with must be able to challenge me on a mental level, and if she can't speak to me on my level, I know I'll only end up annoyed when I read her emails.
After all of this has been taken in, I know it's ok for me to bother to figure out if I like what I see. The first few things are simply precursors to tell me if she's worth paying attention to. Who cares if we have similar interests if there are things that will cause me to never be able to maintain a relationship with the girl? | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 4:41:31 PM | The first thing I look at is if they have a pic .
Then I look at their marital status.
Then I look at where they are from
check to see if they have an messenger ID so we can chat on-line vs E-mailing
If all these things are okay then I read the whole profile and make up my mind from there.
Unlike a-lot of people here I have responded to everyone who has E-mailed me and I have never not read a profile of someone who has e-mailed me...Just seems rude to do so. | |
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| First things you look at in a profile HONESTLY!
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:42:57 PM | | HI''''''''''''FIRST THING I LOOK AT IS IF THEY ARE A CHRISTIAN; SECOND THING I LOOK AT IS THE PICTURE; THIRD THING IS THE MARITAL STATUS AND THEN I LOOK TO SEE WHAT THE SITUATION REGARDING CHILDREN IS. I DO READ ENTIRE PROFILES AS I FEEL IT IS IMPORTANT TO DO SO AS YOU DO GET A BETTER IDEA OF HOW THE PERSON IS'''''''''''AND IF YOU DID NOT READ THE ENTIRE PROFILE THEN YOU COULD MISS OUT ON HOW ROMANTIC THE PERSON IS AS SOME WRITE POEMS AT THE END OF THEIR PROFILES AND SOME USE THEIR SENSE OF HUMOUR AT THE END. AND I FEEL READING THE ENTIRE PROFILE IS RESPECTING THE PERSON FOR WHO THEY ARE AND I WOULD HOPE PEOPLE READ MY ENTIRE PROFILE IN CARING FOR WHO I AM, SMILES4444 | |
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