| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 11:05:05 AM | There is a mass of attractive ladies on this site and have met a few. I understand that I'm not attractive to EVERY lady I come in to contact with, vice versa. The few I have been attracted to do not feel the same way, that's not the issue. The issue is when I've been contacted by a lady to where I have a similiar attraction to they do not follow through. I haven't said anything to turn them away. I'm not sure what they're REALLY looking for. If they just like to flirt for that brief moment, pursueing other interests, maybe intimidated from being in a relationship after so many years of being alone, treated like trash by a man in their past life, or just plainly afraid of change. I'm not desperated by any means. Would like to be with that ONE that I can mesh with. Any suggestions? | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 11:26:32 AM | GMan, you have such a narrow age range filter that many women are not going to be able to contact you. What if a woman just turned 51 and sees your profile? She's out of luck and so are you. She may have been that woman you've been looking for.
If a woman contacts you and you respond and then she doesn't follow through, a couple things could have happened. She may have been contacted by someone else, in the interim, who attracted her more or she wasn't impressed by your response. You didn't have to write something to 'turn them away', but it obviously wasn't something that enticed them to further get to know you. They just didn't 'feel' it. It happens. With some people, if they don't feel an immediate connection, they lose interest and disappear. I find that sad, since how can one or two emails really define someone?
Keep contacting women and you will find the one for you. And do think about expanding the age range. You may be extremely pleasantly surprised to see who contacts you. Just a suggestion. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 11:34:27 AM | | That's great idea. I wasn't aware of my age limitations on my profile, I'll try that. Thanks for the quick response! | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:24:44 PM | Well I know they want money. They use key words like "ambitious" which means ""find a way to make money later if you're broke now".
As for the rest height seems to be a big issue with women. I come across alot of profiles where women are like "must be at least 6 feet tall" and you're like "damn I am 2 inches off and she is 5'5"
They want a nice set of teeth in a guy too with nice eyes.
As for personality I have no clue because they claim to like nice senses of humor but if they don't reply to an e-mail they would never find out I am funny or not.
Good luck though lol I think us guys need it more than the ladies. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:26:42 PM | There is no way you can find out why women do what they do. If I'm REALLY interested, I WILL respond. That's one fact you can take to the bank.
It's important to adopt a "dating mindset" where what *they* do really doesn't effect you. If you take it all very lightly, you will be much happier with the process.
Learning to shrug is the first step to enlightenment... (I read that somewhere) | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:34:01 PM | Every woman has different needs. You’ll have to talk to the woman you’re pursing to find out her particular needs.
For the most part, women want you to act interested, communicate openly, don't play games and be honest.
Good luck!
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:38:03 PM | Now you've set a much better age range and chances are your incoming emails will increase. Good luck!!!
PS - I found the love of my life on this site, so it can, and does, work. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 1:40:30 PM | The ones who know what they ae looking for are looking for the same things that you are , basically.
Are you looking at women who are searching for dating or long-term?
It really is a numbers search. You will find people who you have interest in who do not have interest in you and vice versa. It just takes going thru a lot of that to find ones who you are interested in who have interest in you and vice versa, and then to see where communications between the two of you can go. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 3:11:38 PM | | It's not the, after we meet and find out more of each others interest and go from there, It's being contacted in the first place. She says, "Hi, saw your profile and we may have the same interest" line . Then my response, "I'd like to get to know you too. We could either keep emailing each other or talk on the phone" Then nothing.....I know it's not always safe to give out numbers too soon, I can respect that. It's the "no response" after that short exchange. It clearly states that I'm looking for "Long term" As I'm not one to jump from one to another. It'd be nice if they followed through if they're really interested. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 3:35:41 PM | Here' s a suggestion. If you want to keep the conversation going, give her something to respond TO. As in, ask a question or expand upon something in your profile that seems to be a common interest.
A first email is only a sign of possible interest, so when you jump on it right away and ask for what feels like a commitment (mail or phone), it might feel to her like you are coming on too strong. She's probably not sure if she wants to agree to mail or phone yet - depends how the conversation goes! So don't ask her to make a decision right away... just respond to the content of her email, add some more of your own, and give a "hook" to invite further conversation. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 3:50:53 PM | It's all based on hormones-figure out their gameplan (patterns) and then JUST BE YOURSELF! Don't worry so much about what they want-then you become a pansy.
OP I don't mean that about you...I just mean at one point in my life I was so worried about what they wanted that I was unable to enjoy life.
Peace. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 4:28:23 PM | Ok, I wrote this as I was looking at profiles just to see if I had a particular pattern. It turns out I do. I scan picture, age and location and if those 3 things are good for me I will click on their profile.
Once in the profile, I look for compatibility. Can I see myself having a conversation with this man? If I don't see a few "deal breakers" in the criteria check list (education/smoke/drink/height, etc) I scan the interests lists to see if we have similar hobbies. After that I read the text and try to get a feel for the person. So, if all looks good, I will drop them a note. BTW, I have messaged 2 men in the last month. I guess I am pretty fussy. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:51:55 PM | Your profile is good and you are a good looking chap I think you will find someone eventually. Do you wait for women to contact you first?
I have contacted people in the past but it seems like they either get the wrong idea or I am the one who does all the initiating which I do not prefer.
I think mentioning talking on the phone immediately kind of turns me off because I really need to email someone for at least a week or so before I feel comfortable giving them my # its just too easy to trace.
I think sometimes though you are right that some people are not really ready to meet but just want to get their feet wet.
I also find that some people are looking for that fatal flaw so that they don't really have to risk getting hurt.
All you can do is keep on trying. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 6:12:43 PM | I'm not sure what or why a few are requesting this thread to be deleted. I'm not trolling or experienceing "self-pity. I'm only asking a question as to clear up a minor confusion of mine. Like I said, I'm not desperate to find someone. I am very confident in myself and do not lack for friends. Just wanted to know better how to relate to the ones I'm attracted to and not blow it by making the wrong comments.
I can give it a week of conversing by email. The thing is, as I do let the person of interest know, I am an Interpreter for the Deaf. I use my hand every weekday, sometimes weekends. I don't always care to email for a long period of time. As it tends to mess with my wrist. I believe I present myself to be more articulate and charming over a phone conversation as oppose to emailing. I offer to give my number and can always block my phone number But, anythings worth a try. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 8:45:37 PM | They want men.
Beyond that, it is irrelevant.
The question is what do you want and does this woman before me go along with what I want?
If you want to extrapolate that further than the question becomes "does this woman want what I want?"
Why waste your time on women who don't fit what you want and you have to worry about changing yourself to what she wants? That's just sad and pathetic. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/26/2009 10:57:20 PM | Don't worry about what women want. Worry about what you want, and then find it. Any woman who doesn't have "it" (whatever "it" is) isn't worth your time or consideration. She isn't a bad person, she's a bad person for you.
Don't give them power over your life. Ayn Rand said "The question is not 'Who will let me', the question is 'Who will stop me'?" You are the authority in your life until such time as you surrender that authority to another person.
No other person, at any point of time, can conceivably do anything to earn authority over you. If you surrender it to them, as you would do in asking "What does a woman REALLY want?", you deserve any and all difficulty that arises from that perspective.
Master your life, or be mastered by another's life. A slave deserves their circumstances until such time as they gain the strength to change those circumstances. Few things are as pitiable as a slave who comes to accept their condition. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/27/2009 10:18:43 AM | What's your problem?
You say:
There is a mass of attractive ladies
have met a few.
I'm not attractive to EVERY lady
And you're all confused because some aren't attracted to you either?
Sounds like you're just annoyed that a woman you wanted didn't want you and you're trying to put her down to assuage your bruised ego by claiming she...
maybe intimidated from being in a relationship after so many years of being alone, treated like trash by a man in their past life, or just plainly afraid of change. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:35:13 AM | OP wrote:
She says, "Hi, saw your profile and we may have the same interest" line . Then my response, "I'd like to get to know you too. We could either keep emailing each other or talk on the phone" Then nothing.
Well, OP, I can see why she didn't respond. Your answer was just as unimaginative as her initial email.
The next time try asking a couple of open ended questions regarding what you read in her profile. By not alluding any of her interests, she will think you are only interested in her looks and that the guts of her profile is inconsequential. A four to five sentence response will keep her attention as long as it references one or two things in her profile, is respectful (no mention of anything sexual), grammatically correct and it doesn't sound like it was cut 'n pasted from other emails you might have sent. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:36:04 AM | Very very very simple. ask us out damn it. I notice I notice a whole lotta- hellos and how are yous , and theses are great one liner(bye the way worst then a bar, with the one liners so you might as well go to the bar at least your getting lit ther) , "So JUST ASKS US OUT" geez | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/27/2009 12:32:44 PM | They want a 9 inch salami, chorizo or sausage. Some like white fatty bratwurst, some like dark morsilla. Some like spicy andeewe. Some like it country style, some like it ball park style.
But they all want a wenner between those buns.
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/27/2009 1:28:16 PM | This happens all the time to me too.
It seems that if you are not able to arrange a meeting quickly, the lady's interest fades.
You have to understand that there are so many more men on dating sites than women. Men will make contact first, 9 times out of 10. The pretty ladies are bombarded with e-mails from prospective suitors.
Sadly, when a woman stops contacting you, she's had a better offer.
What annoys the HE** out of me is when a woman sends me an e-mail 2 weeks after the initial round of communication has faded. It's transparent. I was "Plan A" then she got a better deal that didn't work out so she's circling back.
The next big thing will most likely not happen through this site or any other internet dating site. You will meet her in person. | |
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/27/2009 2:22:05 PM | Awwww, geeeez Mister, if you are having trouble securing Ms. Perfect, the rest of us should go jump off the bridge!
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| What does a woman REALLY want?
Posted: 7/27/2009 2:47:56 PM |
I can give it a week of conversing by email. The thing is, as I do let the person of interest know, I am an Interpreter for the Deaf. I use my hand every weekday, sometimes weekends. I don't always care to email for a long period of time. As it tends to mess with my wrist. I believe I present myself to be more articulate and charming over a phone conversation as oppose to emailing. I offer to give my number and can always block my phone number But, anythings worth a try
You prefer to not use your hands to communicate with a female online?
But that's where you're seeking a female.
Women online who meet men online aren't willing (usually) to immediately move to telephone conversations. The fact that you do what you do professionally is a justifiable reason in your opinion, but for women? It's an excuse to push faster than she wishes to go in communicating with a stranger online.
You believe you present yourself better in conversation...but if you're presenting yourself to women as being pushy and rushing things? It can be a huge turn off, and would explain why women are interested in you for a week and then poof - disappear.
A week of corresponding online is NOTHING in the manner of time. And certainly not sufficient to tell a whack job from some decent guy you're interested in meeting in person. | |
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